White Sand Moon
by Tygerlilee
Summary: Relena retired to go to college, as did Heero (Tai). But now she has to go back and protect those she loves, even if it means losing them.... Chatper 22 up. )
1. New Beginnings: an engagement

White Sand Moon

By Tygerlilee

DISCLAMER FOR THE ENTIRE STORY: I'm so sick of writing a disclaimer on every chapter so I'm just making one big blanket one for the entire story. I don't own Gundam Wing or any characters of it. I'm not making any money from this story; it's merely to kill time during boring summers! ^_~ That said, any character in this story who is NOT in Gundam Wing is an invention of my mind and I prefer that no one else use them. I like them very much and wish to keep them. Happy reading!

Chapter One

New Beginnings–an engagement

He shot up in bed, sweaty hands shaking as he gripped the bed covers. It was so odd–that hadn't happened in over a year, yet the familiar cold sweating hand clutched at his heart, sweeping away the blissful ignorance sleep normally brought. The dark room was cold and the soft snores that usually came from Huy's bed were gone–he was with the team playing on another colony. 

Tai sat with his legs folded Indian-style, arms limp as the sinking fright sat in, still clutching at the patch-work quilt. Shadows danced in every corner, turning into faces and blood streaked images. Screams echoed in his ears. The room seemed to spin with decaying faces and sickened smiles, scoffing at him. They spun around him faster and faster. So manyhe had destroyed so many livesfaster they twirledsounds reverberating from the ceiling to wall to floorupside down, in and out, an onomatopoeic symphony, sick and sharp and. 

He turned on the light. The murderous shadow's evaporated with the dark and Tai gazed at his empty dorm room. Two tiny beds side by side with a double desk in between. Closets and drawers sat at the end of the beds, a sink and mirror in the corner. And an overwhelming loneliness slowly saturated his soul. It was a teasing pestering feeling. He wanted more than anything for someone to call or walk through the door. But it was three a.m. and he sat in his overly baggy T-shirt hanging from his slight frame, boxer shorts, and white socks, knowing that no one would come. As he pulled out his textbooks a framed snapshot across the desk caught his eye--Huy and his girlfriend Kieko. Suddenly he was a million times lonelier than he had been a moment ago. 

His entire life he'd been alone, never having to worry about anyone but himself. He had liked it that way. People got in the way of what needed to be done. But now that was over. Nothing needed to be done. He had to move on and find a new meaning for his existence because fighting was no longer necessary. And that's when he found his family. Now he understood why people wanted to live, why they worked so hard for so little, why people got out of bed everyday to do the same old boring desk job, come home, and do it again the next day. He understood what people beside himself had been fighting for–and he knew it was good. Tai had grown used to having his family around, especially his twin brother, Huy. For a while they had turned into a threesome--he, Huy, and Kieko. But now Huy was gone more and more every day and Tai knew that he'd be alone again. He missed knowing that a friend was always near, even better, a brother. A brother has to love you even if he doesn't like you. But his brother wouldn't be able to be with him always–he had a ring ready to give Kieko. And then there would only be one.

But Tai did like Kieko–she was a cute girl, very intelligent, kind, patient, and more than anything, very practical and would do well with keeping Huy and his fantastical feet from flying off into space. But that still meant that Tai was giving up his brother who he had grown so close to.

Seeing their relationship grow and morph was all very interesting to Tai. He knew nothing of romance and never understood any of it. It was also very strange to Tai. He had been taught to not need companionship but since he had made friends and even had a family now, he was very confused. He could honestly say that he loved these people now. It had grown in intensity very slowly over the years. But now, whenever he received a disappointed email from Yachi he felt a pang of hurt for her, and if he heard of a bad boyfriend of Gina's, his first instinct was to go find a gun. When Huy was gone, a sickly feeling infiltrated and made it impossible to do anything. It was a disgustingly pathetic apathetic feeling which completely inhibited any work getting done. His grades were even suffering. He supposed it was natural to feel this way, he was nearly 22. People do grow and change and wish for companionship but it was so weird for him because unlike so many others, it was not something he'd been taught was natural and expected his entire life. But nowheck! What was he even thinking? That he wanted somebody like alike a girlfriend? To have what Huy and Kieko had together? What his parents had? Gina and Toshi had with their respective spouses? That was crazy. Plain crazy. And so he threw on some sweats and tennis shoes and sprinted down the inky street, a sheen of rain mirroring the false stars.

She stood up very calmly and forced herself to walk slowly out of the class room, gracefully exiting, but steam was practically coming out of her ears. Then she took to running as fast as her legs would carry her. 

"Sorry, excuse mepardon me" she said softly as she pushed people frantically out of her way. She ran across campus clutching her books in her arms, backpack strapped firmly to her. 

__

Psychotic he saysmentally unstablelucky the colonies survived he sayswhat does he know anyway? She thought angrily. It was usual for that professor to pick at her. Why, she didn't understand, but he did. And normally she handled it very wellbut todayshe didn't have to take that, and yet, he wasn't even insulting her personallyhe didn't even know that he had offended herand that was precisely why she couldn't let anyone see her anger

She was nearly hit by a car running across the street and he honked angrily at her, but she didn't notice; her head was down and she was breathing hard. She was no athlete, but sheer anger and frustration and everything else powered her as she sprinted. 

__

"Millardo Peacecraft was the next in line to rule the pacifist nation of Sanq Kingdom, but the family was attacked and he ran away to become the Zech Marquis we all know and love–personally I say that fire affected his brains." The class had laughed in response to that. Lobster man, as she cruelly coined him for his baldness, redness, unusually long fingers, and maniacal snapping temper, continued, "Though he was powerful and led many people showing his charismaHe must have been touched–blowing up the Earth? Now really." More laughing, and she had taken it, sitting there, seething with angerwhat did they know? How could they knowthey were just ignorant civilians 

She reached a little pink stucco apartment building and ran up two flights of stars to the third and top level. Only then did she stop. She pulled her backpack off and reached in the smaller back pocket for her keys. Her hands were trembling she was so angry.She almost couldn't get the door to open because she couldn't hold her hand still enough to get the key into the hole.

By the time the door was opened, she was so frustrated that she threw it open, and walked calmly into the room.

"Oh, hey Dei" a tall brunette started from her position sprawled out on the floor.

But the livid girl didn't notice. She flung her bag into her bedroom and quietly walked into the bathroom, locking the door behind her softly. She sat down on the closed toilet and began to cry in the only private place that she knew of.

This entire semester had been hard. The classes were four and five hundred level courses and becoming increasingly more difficult with each week. And that wasn't the worst of it–that stupid lobsterman and his attitude. He had them write a paper at the beginning of the semester about their personal political views and ever since then he had despised her–what she couldn't figure out is how did he know it was her in a class of 120? Why did he pick her to be so evil to? Surely her paper wasn't THAT ignorant. And she needed to pass this class to graduate after the next winter semester. She just didn't understand Then there was that moron stalker of hers–mister genius microbiologist with a soccer scholarship chasing her around. And she was living with five other girls, three of which she had lived with before and liked, but two of them were potluck. One was really nice, but the othershe was a nightmare, and Deirdre even shared a room with her! Arg!! And to top it all off she was introverted anyway and needed privacy or else she'd literally go insane and the only place she could find like that was in this stupid little bathroom!!!! Why couldn't she just meet mister perfect and get married so she'd only have to deal with one roommate and he wouldn't be her brother? Besideshe and Noin had gotten married a couple years ago so she'd just be in the wayand then Heero had even diedwhat was it now? Four years ago? Coming up on thatit was so strangeit was so _unfair!!!_

"Hee-ro.." her voice cracked softly. "Why did you die?" Tears fell onto her hand as she sobbed softly in the "Watercloset" as Amada had termed it jokingly. "Why..." she whispered to the shower curtain.

"Deirdre? Hey, Deir honey? You alright in there?" Ianthe was calling to her through the door, knocking softly. But no one would see her cryit just wouldn't happen, couldn't happen. She had to be stronger. 

"I'm finejust stupid lobster man againI'll be okay in about five minutes. Let me cool off."

"Oh, I'm so sorry Deir."

"Don't worry about it. I'll be okay. I promise," Deirdre assured her roommate.

"Okay" Ianthe sounded doubtful, but she walked off, the carped padding her heavy steps.

Deirdre turned and faced herself in the mirror, and a giant fireball looked back at her. Her mild red hair combined with her tear-streaked face had a frightening effect of a cherry with unripe green spots that were her eyes. "Good grief" she muttered to herself. "I did have to pick red"

She turned on the cold water and splashed herself generously with it, letting the fire in her skin burn out. "Get a grip on yourself! You are almost done with school. Just one semester left, and you'll be out of here. You'll take a nice long vacation on the beach and then go back to work, just as planned. Only now you'll be older, wiser and more educated!" She tried to psyche herself up. But two cold tears slipped out as she smiled at herself in the mirror. _But what does it matter if Heero is gone_

"I can't believe that it's already been three and a half years" Zechs said softly as he scanned the short email from Relena.

"How's she doing?" Noin asked from her spot on the bed. She had several files spread out and she was trying to synthesize all the information at once, and at 12:30 at night.

"Burned out. She's ready for a break." Zechs squeezed his wife's knee with one hand and held the laptop steady with the other. "But she'll be that much better for it. It's given her time to grow and understand things around her. My only regret is that I haven't been able to see or talk to her these long yearsjust an email every month or so"

Noin turned and snuggled her way under his arm and leaned against his chest. "But you've been a good brother. Letting her grow up while talking and giving help when needed."

"I've always stayed out of her life"Zechs started.

Noin laughed softly. "That's what I mean. Now you actually know her as a person." Noin sat back up and started putting papers away. "But now, I'm going to sleep!" she told him firmly.

Zechs grudgingly put his laptop way and turned out the lamp on his side of the bed. They curled up and were just dozing off when the laptop buzzed loudly. "What in the" Zechs mumbled angrily.

He sat up and opened his video mail in the dark while Noin tried unsuccessfully to pretend she was asleep. "Who's trying to talk to me at this time of theungodly hours"

"Hey! What's up?" a large as life Duo grinned back.

Zechs and Noin both shot up from bed. "What are you doing!!" Zechs said harshly.

"Just wanted to see how Miss Relena is and all, since I can't ask her directly. I figured I might send a little note to Heero too," Duo winked.

"Duo," Noin began, "Heero's deaddidn't you know?" she asked tenderly.

"Hehehethat's what you think. I just talked to him last week! He's doing great. Can't wait to graduate and all, but"

"Graduate? Duo, I think you better explain yourself," Zechs said impatiently.

"Hehemaybe I shouldn't ruin his cover, but Heero gave himself a new identity. And it's working for him too, believe it or not." Zechs and Noin glared at him.

"But Lady Une said that he was dead! Leukemia! Everyone thinks so!" Noin said sharply.

Duo continued to grin evilly. "Weeell.technically, Heero lived. But from that time on he started going by a different name so that name is gone forever, but the person we are referring to is very much alive."

"That son of a"

"Zechs," Noin warned. She had been attempting to curb his language. "Duo, why would Heero not tell us that he's alive? Why would he makes us all worry?"

"Quite frankly I don't think that he thought any of you guys knew about his disease at all, much less where he was. So why bother? He'd already disappeared. So he just changed his name. Besides, he wants to live a normal, quiet life and associating with very well-known and noticeable people would not help him on his quest to normality," Duo explained.

"But didn't he even think of what it would do to Relena when she found out? Didn't he even think" Noin's angry voice was interrupted by Duo.

"I told you, he didn't think you guys knew about him at all so why bother tracking you down and correcting any false assumptions!"

"We could've used his help a couple times these past few years" Zechs muttered.

"I think that's exactly why he didn't tract you back down. But come on! Give him a break!"

"He lies, hides, worries everyone, Relena's never gotten over his "death" despite what she saysand you say give him a break?!?" Zechs' voice was starting to rise slightly. "And now he has the nerve to ask about her?"

"Actually, he didn't ask about her. But I thought maybe I'd drop a few facts for him," Duo said.

Zechs glared. "Why?"

"WellI think it's just silly for them not to talkthey make such a cute couple!" Duo sang cheerfully.

Zechs glared some more. "Someone who doesn't even have the decency to tell people he's alive doesn't deserve such a girl to be with him. I respect Heero for his skills and what he has done in the past, but this is inexcusable! Under no circumstances are you to help them find each other!"

"Zechs" Noin tried to intervene.

"I won't let my sister be hurt again! He died, then comes back to life–what if he dies AGAIN! And she's so stressed right now with school, she wouldn't be able to handle it. I will not further stress her!" Zechs was doing a marvelous job of keeping his voice lowered despite his anger.

"Awcome on"

"Good night Duo." Zechs said firmly and cut the connection. "I can't believe thisI cannot believe this"

"Zechs," Noin started. "Maybe we should look at it as a blessing! You are right–it would just further stress Relena, but maybe when she's graduated in several months we can tell her. She needs to know."

"She's been struggling with it for nearly four years–and only to find out that all her pain was for nothing. I just don't know what to do"

"Love her. And be honest. That's all."

"Noin"

"Yes?"

"We are going to have to tell the others tomorrow. I'll call a meeting and I'll tell them all what Duo told us."

Noin nodded, knowing exactly who "the others" were. "I think that's a good idea."

Tai sat on his bed studying quietly. Books were everywhere and a dry erase board was propped up on the desk with numbers scrawled all over it.

A voice in the hall was humming happily to itself and the door flew open. "Heeeello my dearest brother! Did you miss me?" Huy asked enthusiastically. Apparently it had been a rough trip back because his clothes had orange something spilled all over them and he smelled horrible.

"Terribly." Tai said sarcastically. "Didn't you shower after the scrimmage?"

"Ehthe line was too long. But don't worryI'll shower tonight."

"Tonight? Don't think Kieko will let you near her smelling like that"

"That's why I'm showering tonight BEFORE I take her out to a romantic dinner and a walk in the park where I will sweep her off of her beautiful little feet and propose. Then she will promptly say Oh my darlingI never thought the day would come when you'd finally ask me to be your wifeI'd be delighted'."

"And then you both throw up from the sap.." Tai muttered.

Huy grinned his usual cherubic smile. 

Tai started to get up. "Where are you going?" Huy asked.

"To warn Kieko what she's about to get herself into," Tai said even more sarcastically as he walked to the dry erase board to change an equation.

Huy grinned again. Then bounded down the hall as if he couldn't stay still for more than a few minutes at a time.

__

He's gonna be a nervous wreck tonight Tai thought to himself. And he was right.

"OkayI've got my shower, I've got my wallet, I've got"

"Huy," Tai interrupted. He was sitting on his bed well out of harm's way. Huy was wandering around, not watching where he was going, and kept kicking and knocking things over. The trashcan was upturned, the dirty contents Huy's duffel bag were all over the room. His bed spread was bunched at the end of the bed. All his textbooks were open and in danger of being ripped by Huy's pacing.

"Yes?" He looked up with a blank childish look on his face.

"You're still in your boxers. You might consider putting on some nice pants and a shirt. Shoes wouldn't be a bad idea ether." Tai had a hard time hiding his sarcasm, but Huy didn't even notice anyway.

"Oh." He started aimlessly flipping through his closet.

Tai buried his face in his hands. He'd never seen Huy so ditzy before. Then he stood up and pulled some green khakis and a nice button-up shirt out for Huy. "Put these on. She likes you in green."

"Oh" Huy was walking around as if in a cloud. Nothing had an effect on him. He reflexes were nonexistent. He was completely incapable of making any decisions.

Then Tai remembered that Huy would be driving them to the restaurant. "Huy, would you like me to drive you two around? I wouldn't mind playing chauffeur." _But only because the cops'll be coming to tell me you're dead in a gutter if I don't,_ Tai thought.

"Oh I think I'll be okay."

"Huyeither tell Kieko that you hit your head during the game and ask her to drive, or let me drive. There is no other option."

Huy looked at Tai's determined face and nodded slowly. "I'll ask Kieko to drive"

Tai nodded in agreement. "Okay."

"I think I'm all ready to go," Huy said numbly.

Tai sat on his bed again and started ticking items off on his finger. "All clothes on correct parts of body?"

"Uh" Huy paused to look himself over, and over, and over, and over

"It's a check Huy. You're okay."

"Alright."

"Wallet?"

Huy fished around his pockets and pulled out his wallet and keys. "Check."

"Good. Jacket, even though you always get hot and will be carrying it on your arm but it's good incase she gets cold, which she almost always is?"

Huy looked down at his arm. "Check."

"Ring?" 

Huy looked at Tai as if he had three heads. "Ring? What ring?"

"The one you're gonna give Kieko when she says yes to your moronic proposal?" Tai reminded with a look of utmost incredulity on his face.

"OhTHAT ring!"

"Yah" Tai muttered. "THAT ring"

Huy was frantically searching his closet again. Tai got up and pulled out the small violet velvet box from Huy's desk drawer where Huy had been storing it for safe keeping because it was the only part of the room that was his and not trashed–he never used that drawer. It had a sticky runner and was difficult to open.

"Huy," Tai said calmly as he tapped Huy on the shoulder.

"Yes?" he looked back at his brother blankly.

"Here it is. Don't lose it."

"Thanks," Huy said wide-eyed. "I was afraid that I'd lost it after all"

"Huy, would you like me to walk you to Kieko's?"

"Please?" Huy half-asked hopefully.

Tai sighed and pulled on some shoes and grabbed his keys. Then he and Huy walked out of the building and headed to the girls' dorms on the other side of campus. The car was parked somewhere in between in the school parking. Campus was fairly decent sized–the school had 20,000 students. But Tai didn't mind the walk. So long as Huy survived this. "You're gonna be fine. She's in love with you. You know that. Just don't try to get all silly and romantic, especially in your state. Just flat out ask as you walk through the park. You'll be fine."

"But Taiwhat ifwhat if I drop the ring or say something stupid or she says no or"

Tai stopped his brother's nonsensical rambling. "Don't worry. She'll say yes. And you are always dropping things. That won't be unusual."

Huy tried to smile but it came out as a nervous sick look like he was about to throw up. Then he stopped walking and stared up in the sky as if the holy Gods had enlightened him. "Tai" he said wide-eyed with amazement.

__

Oh no Tai thought.

"You're my twin!" Huy said.

"No crap," Tai said, slightly annoyed.

"You could"

That's when it hit Tai what Huy was about to suggest. "NO," Tai said firmly and loudly. "I will help you with everything. You know I do. But I will not propose for you!"

"But Tai, you are so much better with words and you won't make an idiot of yourself and"

"She'll probably want to kiss her fiancée after he proposes her, you know," Tai reminded him.

Huy's face changed abruptly. "You're right. I'll do it myself."

"Good boy"

But Huy wasn't paying attention any morehe had drifted quickly back into his little dream world. And all too soon they were at Kieko's door. 

"You'll be fine Huy. Good luck." Tai was just about to turn a go when the door opened and a petite Japanese girl with large dark brown eyes and a soft, pleasant face and short dark hair came out of the apartment carrying a trash bag. She jumped slightly when she saw the brothers there. "Oh! Huy, Tai! You surprised me! You're a little earlythat's got to be a first," she said jokingly. When both Huy and Tai looked blankly back at her she coughed uncomfortably. "Okaywell, it's my week to do trash and I forgot to so that's why I'm doing it nowI'll be really quick.."

"No. I'll dump it for you," Tai said taking the bag from her.

"Thanks," she smiled at him. 

"Have a nice night," Tai said, then turned to leave and walked quietly way.

There was a deathly silence as Kieko looked up at Huy. He just looked blankly back as if he was a deer caught in headlights. "WellI guess I'll go get my purse" Kieko said with raise eyebrows. Huy continued to stand like a statue staring straight forward. 

A couple minutes later Kieko was back and Huy was still standing just as she had left him. "Huyare you alright?" she asked, now getting concerned.

Suddenly an acorn hit him in the side of the head. His eyebrows crunched down and he whirled around to glare down at Tai below. "What the heck was that for?"

"Hey, I got you to respond," he yelled back.

"Tai," Kieko yelled down. "What's wrong with Huy?"

"He hit his head during the scrimmage. If he freezes up again just smack him! He'll be fine!"

Huy glared angrily down at his twin. "Have a nice night!" Tai yelled again and walked off. 

"Are you sure you want to go out tonight? Your head doesn't hurt too bad does it?" Kieko asked softly.

"Ohit'll be fineI think it might be safer if you drive" Huy was looking meekly down at his shoes.

"Fine. I was just about to insist myself," she said grabbing his arm and walking toward student parking.

The walk to car was silent and Huy kept stumbling on his perfectly tied and double knotted shoelaces (thanks to Tai for tying them). Kieko kept looking at him as if he was about to collapse like a jigsaw puzzle.

"Just tell me if we are staying out too late or anything like that tonight. You might even want to see a doctor about that tomorrow," Kieko said as she held out her hand for the car keys.

But Huy hadn't noticed and automatically walked over to the passenger side to open the door for her. "Huy," she said sharply.

"Huh?" he looked up at her blankly.

"Wrong door. I'm driving."

"Oh, right" Huy walked over and opened the driver's door for her and handed her the keys, then shut the door for her. Then he got in and promptly shut the door on his leg.

Kieko smothered her giggles in the steering wheel as she put the keys in the ignition. _No wonder Tai walked him over here_ she thought.

As she pulled out of her parking spot she switched on the radio and started singing softly with the song. Huy closed his eyes and leaned back against the seat and seemed to relax. Or at least he looked normal.

"So Huy, where are we going?" she prompted him.

"River Gardenon 56 south," he said softly. 

Kieko raised an eyebrow. It was a nice place, right by the park they always liked to walk through. There's a creek with ducks and squirrels everywhere. Kieko loved animals. But Huy sounded normal again. So they continued to drive quietly in peace. That was one thing that had surprised Kieko about Huyamong other things. But he could be quiet and calm from time to time. She supposed he had to be. His brother was so reserved–she sometimes found it incredible that they were identical twins and could be so different. But the silences with Huy were quiet and peaceful–even though you'd think they'd be uncomfortable as Huy was normally so talkative. Sometimes, she liked it this way best. They knew each other so well now they could just enjoy doing things in the same room together, even if they never spoke a word.

They got out of the car and had a peaceful dinner. Huy seemed pretty normal–he spilled two glasses of water anyway, and that was pretty normal. But Kieko started to relax. She had been so worried to begin with. Maybe he was okay after all. 

Huy's brain was in a numb empty cloud. He was floating along. Just walking along blissfully. He could feel Kieko's little hand in his as they walked along the concrete path. A flock of ducks flew up as they walked by them pecking at the grass.

"It's so peaceful here right now" Kieko said softly, and smiled up at the sky, and leaned her head against Huy's arm.

"Yah" he murmured in agreement.

"I wonder why the ducks haven't gone to sleep yetthey aren't anywhere near being nocturnal" she wondered aloud.

"Maybe they knew that you were coming to see them."

Kieko smiled at Huy. And they continued to walk along quietly until they reached "their" bench. It was a little wooden bench in the middle of some trees, but there was a partition where the sun sets so that they could watch it. And the creek ran right by the area so that Kieko would watch the ducks. She especially loved it in the summer when all the "baby duckies" had been born. They sat down and Huy put his arm around her shoulders and she rested her head on his shoulder.

Then Huy remembered that he had taken her out here to propose in privateHuy thought. And his hands started to get sweaty. _Better do this quick before I lose my nerveTai's not here to hit me this time_

"Kieko" Huy started.

"Umhuh" she sounded half asleep.

"How long have we been together now?"

"Uhten monthsI thinkwhy?" She perked up a little as if she realized this was Huy's attempt at subtlety to direct the conversation.

"Really? It seems like so much longer," Huy said genuinely surprised. 

"I think it's a pretty long time for just dating," Kieko said.

"Welldo you just want to keep datingwhat?" Huy finished lamely.

"Huyjust spit it out. Quit trying to be subtle. That's not your department. What's on your mind? Everything's okay with us, right?" Suddenly Kieko got a horrible fear in the pit of her stomach. What if he had met someone else, maybe during the summer? What if he wanted to break upwhat if.a nice dinner, taking her to their favorite place, trying to drop it gently_Oh no!_ Her mind started to panic. She could feel herself getting unreasonable. 

"Wellit just seems to me that there is a point in every relationship when a couple either breaks ups up or" Huy paused and fished around in his pocket for the ring. _Where was that thing_ Huy started to panic when he couldn't find it. _It has to be here_ then he remembered it was in the other pocket and pulled himself away from Kieko to get it.

"Or what?" Huy looked up at Kieko. Her face was white and she looked strained, terrified. "Or what Huy" Huy recognized that voiceshe was getting to her unreasonable state. _Does she know what I'm going to ask? Does she think it's too soon for it?_ Huy's heart rate started to increase uncontrollably. 

"Well, I was wondering if maybe you'd be my wife" Huy held out the little box open to show the simple little solitaire with etched flowers along the band. Elegant and simple, just like Kieko. Huy had thought so when he saw it, and Gina had approved. But now he wasn't sure what was going on. Kieko was looking at him with her white, strained face and her eyes were huge. Now she was the frozen one.

"Kiekoare you okay?" Huy asked, concerned.

Her head sunk to her chest and she began to cry softly. 

"Kieko!" Huy wanted to reach out and hold her and comfort her, but he didn't know why she was crying so it might even make things worse. "Kiekois it something I said?"

Kieko's face was in her hands and her entire body seemed to shake as she nodded.

"WhatI'm sorry, I didn't mean too" Huy was interrupted by a death grip hug around his neck and was nearly knocked over as Kieko flung herself at him.

"Oh Huy" she sobbed. "It's just thatit's thatOh I'm so silly!" she said vehemently. "I thought you were about to break up with me and I got so scared and then you went and proposed you wonderful boy" she howled.

Huy looked with large owl-eyes out at the empty night all around them. "You thought what?!?" he asked incredulously.

"I thought you were going to break up with me!"

Huy pushed her way from him, still firmly clutching the ring in one hand. "Why? How? I don't"

Kieko shook her head. "I'm silly. I told you. And paranoid. I'm so sorry"

"It's finejust that"

"What?" Kieko looked up at him.

"Are you gonna answer my question?" Huy asked meekly.

"What question," Kieko asked with a blank look.

Huy scrunched his eyebrows. "I just asked if you'd be my wife." He was feeling a little annoyed. He just asked her the most important question she'd ever be asked in her life and she doesn't remember

"Oh, I forgotten that I hadn't answered." There was a silence.

"Well?" Huy prompted impatiently.

"Well what?"

"Won't you please answer me?"

"Answer what?"

"Will you be my wife!!" Huy yelled.

"Yes, YES YES!! THERE!! I THOUGHT IT WAS OBVIOUS!!" Kieko yelled back.

"WELL GOOD!" Huy yelled.

"FINE," Kieko yelled again.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE WE YELLING FOR?" Huy continued to yell.

"I DON'T KNOW. I THINK IT'S SILLY, BUT WE ARE SO I'M STILL DOING IT!"

"FINE."

"FINE!!" Kieko looked furious and Huy grabbed her by the arms before she could yell at him anymore and kissed her for all he was worth, ring still in his hand.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N Hello!! I know I haven't written in a veeeeeeeeeeeeeery long time, but now I have the time and I'm going to try and get this story rolling as soon as possible. If you are confused and don't understand this story at all, it's probably because you didn't read the first one. This is a sequel to my last fic, Blood Bonds. In a very quick recap:

Heero went to a school, graduated from high school, survived leukemia, and found his brother/family. He's been living with them/going to college since then and is about to graduate. In the meantime, Relena took a break from work and disguised herself and went to college. She is also about to graduate. The entire Gundam gang in a nutshell–

Zechs and Noin married a year and a half

Duo and Hilde married a year and Hilde's pregnant

Sally and Wufei still work together, but nothing's happened

Trowa is working at the circus still with Cathy, his sister

Quatre and Dorothy have a spotty relationship that keeps turning on and off as she runs 

off and comes back from time to time (she's mentally unstable)

Lady Une is still in charge of the Preventors

As for Heero's family:

Gina is married and pregnant

Toshi is married with two children

Yachi is still in school

Ai and Ryuzou are still up and kicking. Ai's very happy to be a grandmother

I really hope that I can get this out somewhat quickly and that it will be with minimal plot holes. It's very hard to keep track of everyone and all that they are doing since I know what I want them to do and what they already did–sometimes I forget if they already did something or if I just imagined it. I've spoken to my sister about what has happened and she keeps saying, "That didn't happen." So then I realize that I'm just totally screwed up. Anyway, so please email me if you see problems that I missed. I hope you like it. It will be much happier (I think) than the last fic. As always, I'm addicted to reviews! And if you want me to email you about a new chapter, say so in your review. Thanks and Toodles for now, Tygerlilee


	2. Discoveries

Chapter Two

Discoveries

Tai couldn't study any more that night. His brain was fried. He'd been studying hard all week, all Saturday morning. Now he could do it no longer. The only depressing thing was Huy was still out with Kieko—hopefully not making an idiot of himself. He supposed he could call up a friend, he and Huy had made a couple good friends, but it was getting late and he didn't think any of them would appreciate him calling this late. And what would they do anyway? Play video games? Tai had been getting pretty good at a couple RPG's and especially first-person shooters. 

He shook off the idea and turned to the computer in the middle of the desk. It was handy rooming with your brother—you could share everything. He signed onto an on-line messenger and saw his father's name pop up. Ryuzou usually wasn't on-line, but tonight he was. Tai hadn't spoken with his father for a couple months.

Suicideboy80: Hey. What's up?

Mrhappyface: Nothing. What are you doing home on a Saturday night?

Suicideboy80: Homework. And Huy's off proposing.

Mrhappyface: It's about time. I've been tempted to light a fire under that boy's rear.

Tai chuckled to himself. 

Suicideboy80: How'd the presentation at work go? Mom mentioned it to me.

Mrhappyface: About as well as it could go for talking to a bunch of old geezers with too much time and money and not enough brain cells left to use them properly. I don't think that they'll listen to me. Morons.

Suicideboy80: ehthat's sadly pretty typical. I about killed my neuro professor today. A royal pain—tried to rip my paper apart but later I brought the book by Dr. Fletcher to him to save my grade. I can handle someone misunderstanding me, but if my grade's on the line, I've got to do something about it.

After writing that Tai realized that it may not have been the brightest thing to say that he'd almost killed his professor, considering his past. But Ryuzou answered pretty promptly so Tai didn't think he was worried.

Mrhappyface: That's too bad. But normal. I remember how college was. It doesn't get any better though, sorry to tell you.

Suicideboy80: I know. 

Mrhappyface: Well, how is everythingelse?

Sucideboy80: I had another dream the other night. First one in about a year that I've had.

Mrhappyface: can you think of any reason why you'd start having them again?

Suicideboy80: I can't exactly say they are starting up again. I've only had one. But it's still worrisome. I can't think of any particular reason for me to be having them. This week hasn't been any special week, if you catch my drift.

Mrhappyface: Yah, I got you. 

Suicideboy80: I've been thinking about that incident a lot. I just think I'm going to randomly think about it from time to time. It'll never completely go away. Everyone has things that will never go away.

Mrhappyface: That's not completely true. Some things you do eventually grow out of. Depression, for example. You usually grow out of it when you hit your thirty's. But that might only be true for the milder cases, not the extreme ones.

Suicideboy80: Oh that's encouraging.

Mrhappyface: hehehehehe

Suicideboy80: how's mom?

Mrhappyface: currently pretending to be asleep and glaring at me when I'm not looking. I'm not being in bed yet and apparently that's offensive in some way.

Suicideboy80: Do you need to go?

Mrhappyface: Nah. I'd rather talk to my kid. ^_~ Bed time's not as exciting when you're old folks like us.

Tai almost choked on that. He could not believe his father had just made such a joke. Sometimes his parents really surprised him. Most of the time they were normal, calm, cool, and collected. But every now and then The scariest was once when Tai and Huy had walked in on them making out. It had surprised Tai but it had horrified Huy, having lived with them his entire life and that being the first time he'd ever seen them kiss, much less _really _kissing. Tai, on the other hand, had only been with them a couple years at that point.

Suicideboy80: Sheeshdon't do that too often. You might disturb your poor kid with all that talk of the unmentionable subject.

Mrhappyface: hehehehe.sorry. couldn't resist. Your mom was reading over my shoulder so I thought I'd get her back.

Mrhappyface: she just smacked me upside the head.

Mrhappyface: she just did it again

Suicideboy80: I think you better stop before she kills you. 

Mrhappyface: she might just call you to say I'm a lecherous old man.

Suicideboy80: *snort* riiiiiiiiight

Mrhappyface: *winks*

Mrhappyface: So Huy's finally proposing how was he doing before he left?

Suicideboy80: Horrible. I had to walk him over there and make sure that Kieko would drive them around. He just about walked out of here in his boxers, and he forgot he even had a ring.

Mrhappyface: hehehepoor kid. But I can sympathize. When you get to the point where you can't imagine life without a person, and you feel happy for it, you know she's the one. But then you worry if she thinks you're the one for her. And when you care THAT much about a person, and they reject you, you just can't imagine the pain. It's terrifying.

Suicideboy80: Were you that scared with mom then?

Mrhappyface: Worse. I proposed twice. She said "no," the first time. 

Suicideboy80: REALLY?!?!? Did she ever tell you why?

Mrhappyface: Her family didn't like me so she said as an answer, "Maybe we should just continue dating." She did like me but her family still had so much influence over her that even though she felt it was right, because they said the sky was purple, she thought, heck, it's purple. You know what I mean? Mild brainwashing mixed in with deep respect

Suicideboy80: Yah.

Mrhappyface: but I gave her some timea lot of timeand she eventually grew up and out of the "nest" a little more and decided that her family was full of it and she'd give me a chance. And I've spent my life proving them wrong.

Suicideboy80: What did they have against you?

Mrhappyface: I was young and unsure of my future. I had no idea at that point what I wanted to do with my life. And your mother was very young too, younger than me. The first time I proposed she was only 19. 20 is still very young, but at least she wasn't a teenager then.

Suicideboy80: so what? Did you just decide on a career, get a good job and get their trust?

Mrhappyface: something like that. I think they were still pretty angry at me for a while, but when we had to live with them for about six months, I started to grow on them a little. I think they thought I was playing father/husband role well.

Suicideboy80: when did you live with Grandma and Grandpa?

Mrhappyface: right after we lost you. We left that colony and lived with them till I found this job that I still have now. Ai was really upset then, as was I, but I guess they felt I handled it well and could see that I was looking long and hard for a good job. So I earned their respect.

Suicideboy80: were things really that bad?

Mrhappyface: you know your mother, she's never upset long. She's a human rubber band, but that time, I didn't think she'd stretch back. She loves you kids. It almost killed her. But that doesn't matter now. =)

Suicideboy80: yahI guess not.

Mrhappyface: but what about you? You seen any nice girls this semester?

Suicideboy80: Nope. I really don't notice girls though. I'm too busy. And if I'm going to med school, what's the point? I don't want to drag someone through that with me.

Mrhappyface: or maybe she could help you through it. It's funny, but you get to a point where you don't really care about friends anymore. You want something more serious.

Suicideboy80: Well, if I meet someone that I'd like to have that with, I'll let you guys know. I just don't see it happening.

Mrhappyface: ever? Or just not for a long time?

Suicideboy80: ever, or rather, never.

Mrhappyface: I'm sure you'll change your mind.

Suicideboy80: I don't think it's a matter of me changing my mind. It's morefinding someone who can tolerate mytrials.

Mrhappyface: hmmdo you mean about the war?

Suicideboy80: Yah. It's such a big part of me. Anyone who doesn't understand war can't understand me and therefore, it would be a bad marriage. And most people who do know about the war are working somewhere to prevent another one, not at college. It's incredible. As widespread as it was, so many people were not involved and escaped unscathed.

Mrhappyface: I don't know. I think there must be some around. Besides, who says that you'll meet your wife at college? I didn't.

Suicideboy80: Yah, you cradle robber

Mrhappyface: HEY—I'm only ONE year older than your mother. Don't make me sound evil here.

Suicideboy80: but had you been older you still would have gone after her.

Mrhappyface: well, who could resist such a lovely, wonderful person?

Suicideboy80: she's reading over your shoulder again, isn't she?

Mrhappyface: maybe

Mrhappyface: I just got smacked againI think it's past your mother's bedtime. We'll talk some more about this later kiddo. Oyasumi.

Suicideboy80: Oyasumi.

Tai clicked off the screen and looked at the blank computer. _I better go to sleep before I start thinking too hard_

But sleep didn't come for a while. Tai tossed and turned for an hour. It was one of those times when so many thoughts are running through your head that it's quieter outside your head than in. And you can't turn your brain off. He didn't even know what he was thinking about.

Finally at about three he dozed off into a light sleep.

Tai woke but didn't open his eyes. He was exhausted. He guessed that it was sill pretty early in the morning because he didn't feel rested at allbut apparently _someone_ had had all he could take of Tai sleeping.

Huy was sitting on the end of Tai's bed swinging his legs out very quickly making the entire bed shake, and humming various cartoon theme songs.

"Huy?" Tai asked, again without opening his eyes.

"Yes?"

"What the heck are you doing?"

"Oh, come on. It's already six! Besides, you weren't out all night so you got lots of sleep. You should be up by now!!" Huy explained.

Tai groaned. "I take it she said yes," Tai said as he swung himself out of bed. He had learned a long time ago that if Huy wanted something, he was insanely annoying until he got it. And he had an incredible amount of endurance. So Tai just gave up now. It was the most painless way to handle the situation.

"Yup!" Huy beamed as Tai sat up in bed beside him. "Now I'm going to call mom and dad!"

"I talked to dad on Instant Messenger last night while you were gone. So he already knows."

"Oh" Huy looked slightly disappointed. "But they don't know she said yes yet!" and he continued on with his jovial little mood.

"So it went alright?"

"Basically. I was afraid she'd say no' there for a minute and we ended up screaming at each other for a little bit, but it was okay in the end."

Tai rolled his eyes. Only his brother could turn a screaming match into a proposal. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know the gruesome details.

"But now we are going to tell the world that I'm getting married to the love of my life!!" Huy yelled.

"We?"

"Yup."

Tai shook his head and got up to put some pants and shoes and a shirt on. Maybe he could get Huy to sit down long enough to eat breakfast.

"Oh come on Tai, don't be such a prickly pear!"

"I'm not being pricklyI just don't want to go out with Kieko's roommate! And just because you found a purpose for your silly life in that apartment doesn't mean that I will! So just drop it!"

"But she thinks you're cute"

"Huy, did Kieko recount this conversation to you?"

"Yes."

"And it didn't bother her that her roommate basically told her that she liked HER fiancée?"

Huy looked thoughtful for a minute. "You don't think Kieko made that part up? Surely not. But it would be awfully weird to have your roommate to comment on your fiancée's twin" Huy wondered aloud.

"Kieko and Julie are up ahead," Tai said quietly, and the conversation stopped quickly.

"Hey babe, what's up?" Huy yelled out happily as he walked toward Kieko.

"I said don't call me babe" she wasn't very happy. But Huy didn't look bothered in the least. He put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her forehead.

"Let's go get some lunch. I'm starving!" he decided for everyone.

Tai and Julie, Kieko's roommate, quietly followed in their wake. 

"Sohow's everything?" Julie started timidly.

There was really nothing wrong with Julie. Tai liked her. But not like that. She was just nice, and Tai felt nothing more for her than platonic friendship. "As well as things can be going when you live with an immature doofus permanently on a sugar high. How about you?" 

"Okay. I kind of miss just having Kieko to myself. We've roomed together for quite a few years now. But that's life. I bet it's nothing compared to how you feel about giving up Huy."

"I'm dealing. He's happy, so I'm happy."

"You are such a kind person Tai"

The conversation ended there as they reached the cafeteria line. But Tai continued to think about that. He couldn't understand why everyone always told him that. He always thought he was pretty standoffish and cold, but the most common compliment he received was, "you're so kind." What was kind anyway? Tai always figured it was a selfless person who always patiently listened and helped his friends and even people he didn't like. That wasn't Tai. He was never very good at talking. He was more of the type to do things with people or run away and leave them alone, and a fat lot of help that was. When people are upset they usually want to talk about it and not leave their room. But whatever "kind" was, he was pretty sure he wasn't it. That was someone more like Relena

"So I was thinking maybe we should rent a good movie this weekend," Kieko began the conversation, looking at Tai, not Huy.

"Oohand have lots of junk food!" Huy chimed in.

"Don't you guys think that'd be fun?" Kieko asked pointedly.

Tai narrowed his eyes at them. He knew exactly what they were trying to do. But not this time. "But Huy, don't you have to leave tomorrow for another scrimmage? You won't even be back till late Sunday."

"Aw crap," Huy slapped his forehead. "I totally forgot about that!"

"Wellit would be kind of odd to have a three-some, so why don't you two do something?" Kieko batted her eyes innocently. Tai glared at her again.

"I don't think I could anyway, Kieko. I've got a research paper due next week that I better work on," Julie said quietly. Tai could've hugged her, but Kieko gave her the "don't you see I'm trying to help you" look.

"Well maybe Tai could help you. He helps Huy a lot!"

Huy seemed to see where Kieko was going because he quickly agreed. "That's right. I always have Tai read my papers and he rips them to shreds, so then I fix them and get A's. It's great!" Huy added. They both were looking hopefully at their roommates. Apparently officially having a counterpart gave them the right to match everyone else up, or so they thought.

Tai's mind was turning quickly. On one hand it would be nice to have something to do with someone so he wouldn't be alone all weekend again, but on the other hand, this girl had a crush on him and the couple was hoping to spark romance between them which would not be happening.

Julie was looking down at her shoes and Tai felt a pang. _Poor girl. She must think I hate her._

Tai shrugged. "Do you think you'll need any help Julie?" 

Julie continued to look at her shoes, and Tai suspected she was blushing madly. "I'm not sure. I've been looking at my notes so much, my paper could be a total mess but I wouldn't notice. It would be helpful" her voice trailed off but then she added quickly, "but of course if you're busy with stuff of your own, getting ready for medical school and all, I understand." But Tai could see she looked hopeful.

Tai shrugged again. "Sure." Kieko and Huy looked triumphant, as if a romance had been instantly established. Tai felt like a creep. He was not interested at all, and she was practically falling over him, and he was going to be over at her apartment helping her. And of course, Kieko would conveniently not be home. What was he getting himself into?

Deirdre was doing her "cool-down" in the aerobics room when Pablo walked in. She rested her head on her leg to hide her groan of dread. He was a nice boy. He was smart, friendly, and not bad looking.

But then she stopped herself from lying anymore. Who was she kiddinghe annoyed her to no end. Always bragging about some new job offer that had come in, or the game he had just won for the school. Of course, men's soccer wasn't in season right now and scrimmages didn't start till spring so she had been spared that for a little while. But he could not take no for an answer and would not leave her alone. And now she had missed her gym class so she had to make it up since they took role and docked points for lack of attendance, and she was not going to get a B in a weeny class like this. But unfortunately it gave a certain person a perfect opportunity to talk to her alone. And so "Mister Perfect" had come in. Could it get any worse?

Suddenly the air smelled strongly of rose and she heard something fall softly by her head. Yup, it could get worse. He had come armed with flowers this time.

Sitting up to face him, she jumped when she found herself looking straight into his eyes. "Don't do that! You scared me!"

"Exercising does give you such a pleasant flush"

"Pablo"

"Yes?"

"No. No, no, and no. I went out with you once, okay?! I'm not going again. I'm sorry that you like me so much, but I'm afraid that I can't go with you again. You are a nice person, but no." Deirdre had been saying this to the mirror for a couple days. It was hard to be mean to people like that. Usually she just meekly tried to distract him and run, or not answer him clearly, or just plain make up an excuse. But she knew that she had to be honest and give him the truth. She had never thought of the saying "Truth hurts" as being applicable to the truth-teller, but she'd been learning that a lot lately.

Pablo looked a little startled. Deirdre had never said something like that to him before. "Are you interested in someone else?"

Deirdre sighed and looked down at her windbreaker pants. Deirdre was not the most popular girl. She was average looking and nice to people and fairly friendly, but she was no beauty and she didn't have a million boys running after her all the time. She'd dated a little, but not every weekend or anything. She figured if she had her natural blond hair and blue eye's she'd look nicer and maybe catch a little more attention, but she didn't want attention. And there was sort of someone else, if a dead guy counted

"No Pablo, there isn't anyone else. I'm just not interested in" she was about to say "a relationship" but that was a lie. She wasn't interested in him. "I'm just not interested, okay? Please don't push me."

Pablo fidgeted and stared at the floor for a minute while trying to decide what to say. "Is there anything that I did?" he asked.

Deirdre shook her head. "No. I'm just not interested. You are a nice boy, but you would be much better for someone else. Please just leave it at that." She started to feel like she was almost begging.

But it seemed that Pablo wasn't finished. As Deirdre got up to leave, he called after her, "You'll never get a better offer, you know!"

She paused, looked back, and said calmly, "You are talented and affectionate, but what good does that do me if I can't reciprocate? I'm sorry." And she walked off. 

She felt surprisingly calm as she strolled home that night. She'd been worrying about that for some time and now it was over and she could go home, enjoy her weekend, and never have to worry about him calling. He was too insulted.

It probably wasn't the kindest parting note she could have given him, but he didn't take subtlety so she had to spell it out for him. She had to make him understand and quit hoping for something that would never happen. Deirdre had a policy that she would never say no to a first date but was very selective about second dates. In fact, she had never gone on a second date with anyone, at least that she could think of at the moment. But some boys just could not take no for an answer.

As she walked into her apartment, she could smell burning meat and a wave of smoke poured out of the door. Amada was cooking again.

Deirdre coughed loudly as she passed the kitchen and Amada, decked out in her apron, glared at her as she scraped out the contents of a blackened frying pan. "That's not funny, Deir!"

But she didn't argue with Amada. She just went to dump her stuff in her room. As she opened the door her roommate Kiki snapped, "Don't go making a ton of noise. I've got to study for this final!"

"I won't," Deirdre said patiently. She was used to Kiki now. They had been rooming for a couple months and Deirdre knew that Kiki wasn't mad at her per se, just the world and everyone in it. But that was actually easier to handle than other types, she had realized last week.

After a near nervous breakdown and a somewhat tearful email to her sister-in-law (She'd never email Zechs about these problems. She wanted him to think she was perfectly happy), Noin very rightly pointed out that Deirdre had been dealing with people like this her entire life. Everyone around her seemed to be angry and upset at the world. Several of the Gundam Pilots and most of the soldiers and Politicians she had worked with were like that. So she just needed to treat her roommate as she did all of them. This wasn't anything Deirdre hadn't been through before.

And since then, things had been so much easier. When Kiki snapped at her, she just ignored it and went on her way. If she was especially bad, Deirdre went to the library or called a friend and stayed out of her way. She just wished that she could help her roommate. Despite everything, she really cared about Kiki.

Deirdre put her bag carefully on her bed so that Kiki couldn't complain about her taking up _her_ side of the room and pulled out a change of clothes. She was all sweaty from aerobics.

"Ug. You smell like a dog," Kiki said wrinkling her nose.

"I know, that's why I'm taking a shower," Deirdre said good-naturedly and went off to the bathroom.

The hot shower felt wonderful. She didn't have to worry about Pablo. She had just taken her last mid-term. Noin had helped her learn how to deal with Kiki. Everything was good again. And to think, last week she had nearly given up! Now she was in complete control again and felt fine. She was proud of herself.

After her shower she headed for the kitchen, where Ianthe was chasing after Maryanne, Amada was attempting to cook again, and Celes was at the table with large eyes eating her fat-free yogurt. Everything was normal and in it's place again.

She grabbed her loaf of bread from the fridge and some cheese, sugar, and cinnamon to make her dinner--two pieces of bread, one with melted cheese on it, the other with sugar and cinnamon. As she turned on the oven, a newspaper went flying over her head. Deirdre quickly slimmed herself against the cupboards as Ianthe went flying after Maryanne.

"You get back here you scrawny little rat!!" Ianthe was screaming.

Maryanne giggled and held onto the newspaper harder. "Nanny-nanny boo boo, you can't catch me!"

"What's so important about the paper?" Deirdre asked Amada as she turned the heat down for Amada's soup and gave it a stir so it didn't scald on the bottom. Amada had even burned soup before.

Amada shrugged. "I think it has a funny picture of Ianthe from her last scrimmage in it."

"She was slam-dunking and her face is all scrunched up. Maryanne wants to scan it and post it on the school website," Celes filled in for the girls as she came in to throw her empty yogurt container away. "Well, I'm full! That was good. I need to go do my nails now" she said as she hummed her way to her bedroom.

Amada snorted. 

"What's so funny?" Deirdre asked.

"I just don't get how someone can get full off of a container of yogurt."

Deirdre just shrugged. "Well, we'll just be healthy sized girls together," and she winked. 

Amada smiled.

"Arggerroff!!"

"Notgive meTHAT PAPER!!" Ianthe had Maryanne in a headlock in the living room. 

"Oh, oh! I'll help!" Amada yelled as she sprang into the room and started tickling Maryanne's ribs.

"Okay! OKAY!! I'll give you the dumb paper!" Maryanne sat up, panting heavily, and handed the paper to Ianthe, who promptly folded it under her arm.

"Thank you."

Maryanne sighed, and fell onto her back on the carpet. "I'm pooped. Do I have to go to that game with you now?"

"Yes."

"What game?" Deirdre asked from the kitchen.

"We have a basket ball scrimmage with that big-shot school in the western colony—Swinson. We played earlier today, and won, I might add," she smirked at Amada who was always saying no one could win with a big oaf like Ianthe on the team. "Boys are playing tonight. Maryanne and Amada wanted to go, but Celes has a date and Kiki just insulted me, so they aren't going. But we got a ticket for you, figured you'd want to come."

"Okay. That'll be fun," Deirdre smiled. "What time is it?"

"Um, I don't remember"

"I'll go get the tickets!" Amada yelled as she scampered off to their room. The apartment had three bedrooms, each with two girls in it. Deirdre and Kiki in one, Amada and Ianthe in the next, and Maryanne and Celes were in the third. Maryanne and Deirdre had been in the same apartment since their freshman year, but both agreed that they couldn't stand to share a room. Maryanne was way too messy and stayed up at all hours of the night and Deirdre was way too clean and liked to get to bed early and get up early. It just didn't work. They met Ianthe and Amada, childhood friends, their sophomore year and all four agreed to room together the next year. They had been in this apartment since then, about a year and a half now. Celes and Kiki were random girls who moved in with them just this semester. But they all got along fairly well, except Kiki that is.

Amada came back with the tickets. "It's at 7:30! You coming?"

"Sure."

"Um guys" Maryanne piped up again.

"Huh?" the other three asked.

"It's seven right now."

"Eek!" and in a whirl wind three of the girls sprinted to their rooms, threw on clothes, fixed make-up, and grabbed purses.

Deirdre calmly dried her hair as she watched the others primp. "What on earth are you guys doing that for? It's just a ball game."

"Yah, but we set each other up on blind dates. The guys should be here at 7:20," Amada told her.

"Oh," she said and went back to drying. Then she froze, turned and glared at Amada. "You didn't set ME up with anyone, did you?" she asked dangerously.

"Heehee" Amada laughed nervously.

"Why you." And Amada took off running for her bedroom while Deirdre came after her with a round brush.

Amada beat Deirdre to her room and tried to slam the door, but Deirdre got there in time to push on it, and a little tug-o-war began.

"AmadaI just barely got rid of Pablo! Arg!!"

"But he's nice and funny andNORMAL! You'll like him!" Amada was slipping a little. Deirdre was a lot stronger now because of her gym classes that she'd been taking.

"That's not the point. Boys are complicated. My life is complicated. Therefore, I don't want a boy to make it even more complicated!! Arg!!!" she yelled as she shoved it open and pounded on Amada with her brush.

"Leggo!!!"

"Not till you say I'm sorry, I'll never set you up without your permission again!!'" Deirdre said as she held her roommate by the hair, brush poised to inflict great pain upon her scalp.

"Gee, I didn't think that I'd be that repulsive to you Deirdre," a very male voice said behind her.

Okay, so Deirdre had never said yes to a second date except one, but then he'd gone off to work on Earth for a while and she'd tried to forget about him. Call it a school girl crush, call it silly, but he was just one of those boys she couldn't NOT like. _Drat him._

She turned and looked up at him and laughed uneasily. "Ahehi. How was Earth?"

He grabbed her hand and pulled her off Amada. "Beautiful, but I still missed the coloniesand the people on them." He paused and smiled at her thus ensuring that she did not misunderstand his indirect compliment. "I guess you've been doing some working out," he said motioning to Amada laying on the floor with large, blank, almost "swirly" eyes.

Deirdre blushed a little standing there under the gaze of the older, tall, dark, Latin boy. "Umnot really." For some reason this boy made her feel like a blushing thirteen-year old again. Not a good feeling. "I'm gonna finish getting ready. I'll be back." And she fled to her room.

_What was she thinking, that Amada! Why didn't she tell me that Marcus was back! ARG!! She knows that I like him. Not fair!! And he looks even better than before! I just hope he doesn't recognize me. The one boy who had a father in the committees who I've even had meetings with, the one boy who's been running for public offices and is very active in political spheres, and I have to have a crush on him! Arg! I thought I was rid of him a year ago when he graduated! What is he doing back here?_

Her mind was turning a mile a minute as she threw on clothes and shook out her hair. "Will you quit tromping around like an elephant. Some people actually WORK at college, instead of gallivanting off with people."

Deirdre's nerves were shot, but she held them in check before blowing up. "Well, I hope you get the good grades you deserve. Call us on Ianthe's cell phone if you get lonely and we'll come get you!" she said cheerfully and walked out.

The other girls were chatting nervously with their not-so-blind-dates. _This was a totally planned/canned excursion_, Deirdre realized. Marcus had probably emailed Maryanne and told her he was coming. Deirdre had changed her email since then so he wouldn't have been able to contact her.

"You look wonderful, Deirdre," Marcus smiled at her.

"Uh" she glowered internally. Why did she have to be such a ditz around him?

"Well, let's go!" Ianthe said happily hanging onto her date's hand. She'd been chasing him for the past six months.

Marcus was definitely a politician, Deirdre decided. He was smooth, well-dressed, charismatic, and could carry a one-sided conversation without even seeming to notice. But Deirdre was content to listen to him. This way, she found out what was going on in the political world besides what her brother and Noin thought of things and besides what was in the papers. It would be useful to store all that information away for when she entered the political world again. And it was her major anyway, so he wouldn't be suspicious that that's what she wanted to hear about.

The basketball arena was only a fifteen-minute walk from the girl's apartment and that way they were only about five minutes late. No big deal for a basketball game.

Marcus was a perfect gentleman. He opened all doors for her and hung on her every word. She just wished she could get him out of her head.

It took a little doing, but they found their seats in the mass of screaming fans and settled in, all eight of them. That's when Deirdre saw him.

He was right there, on the court. Playing. Playing for the other side, no less. He was quite a bit shorter than everyone else and he had the definite Japanese look and messy dark hair. His deep dark eyes were scrunched in concentration as he stole a rebound and sprinted across the court. He was fast. Agile. And totally _Heero_.

Suddenly, Marcus was the furthest thing from her mind.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N Thanks for all the reviews guys!! I'm so glad that you are still checking and reading(purrs of contentment). And to Cynthiait's just because you're that smart! ^_~ Thanks for reading!! Toodles, Tygerlilee =^;^=


	3. Resurrection

Chapter Three

Resurrection

When Tai knocked Kieko answered with a large Cheshire cat smile. "Hi Tai," she said with a superfluous amount of enthusiasm. Tai groaned inwardly. "Julie's in her room. You can go on back. I'm actually leaving right now, but I should be back later. Have fun." Then she winked and squeezed his shoulder and walked out. Tai banged his head against the door frame. _What have I gotten myself into?_

But then he put his usual placid face back on and walked in. He could hear Julie typing away in her bedroom, stopping, swearing, then starting again, punch something random Tai had a hunch that Julie needed a break--not help. She'd probably be so irritable that she'd bite his head off if he said a word.

"Julie..." he called softly as he knocked at her open bedroom door, alerting her of his presence. Huy had told him on numerous occasions that he made no noise when he walked and it was just eerie. So naturally he continued to "sneak" up on Huy but let everyone else know when he was around so he didn't startle them.

Julie jumped slightly and let out a small squeak. She turned to Tai with a surprised, but worn smile. "You scared me!"

"Sorry."

"Kieko just left so we're on our own," she told him.

"I know. I ran into her as I came in."

"Oh." Julie looked shyly down at her hands that were gripping the back of her chair at the computer desk. There was an uncomfortable silence.

"So how's your paper going?" Tai asked.

Julie looked up and shrugged. "Okay I guess.'

"So that wasn't you swearing that I heard?" Tai asked half jokingly.

Julie blushed a mild Fuchsia and bit her lip. "Okayso maybe not that great," she said slowly. "But there's really nothing you can do. Besides, it's boring."

"But that's why I'm here. To help." Tai immediately regretted his last comment. He knew that she liked him and that she was probably hoping they'd do something fun together. But then again, wasn't it worse to allow someone false hopes? Tai rationalized that he was just letting her know right here and now what was going on. It sounded okay in his head, so why did he feel like such a jerk?

Julie looked a little abashed. "Right." And she turned back to her computer and scooted the chair back. Then she got up and disappeared for a moment bringing back another chair. "Here," she said softly. 

Tai felt even worse. But he wasn't sure what to do to salvage the situation. "Okay," he began, "umcan I just look at your paper to begin with to see what you're writing about?"

Julie nodded and scrolled her paper to the top. "Here." Then she sat back to let him read.

"After Colony 195: A History of the Gundam Pilots and Their Exploits by Julie Hawbaker" the title page reported. Tai just about choked. _First I get weaseled into this, second I insult this perfectly nice girl, and thirdshe writing about my LIFE! ACK!!_ Tai began to go in panic mode but kept his eyes firmly on the computer screen hoping that Julie wouldn't notice anything strange while he frantically tried to decide what to do. After a couple minutes he calmed down and decided it was best just to read it and help, but keep his face as passive as possible and prepare himself for many insults to himself and his friends. He must stay calm.

"Uh, Tai, you've been staring at the title page for three minutes. Are you okay?" Julie suddenly interrupted his racing thoughts.

Tai's eyes focused suddenly so that he could see the computer screen clearly. "I'm fine. Just zoned out there for a minute. Sorry."

Julie looked at him strangely. "Okay"

Tai shook himself and began to read. He was about half way through the ten pages of what Julie had already written when he began to think that he'd escape alive. It was fairly well written, but naturally it had lots of little things that needed to be tweaked. Mostly it was okay, much better than Huy's writing anyway. Most of the time he just pointed out a little mistake to her and she fixed it right then. Only two paragraphs needed to be entirely rebuilt. The facts were solid, and she was sticking to history book ideas and perceptions. But then she began personal profiles of each pilot, beginning with pilot 01. Tai kept calm as he began to read what the world knew and thought of him.

Heero Yuyunknown parentagepresumed age 15computer hacker.yadda, yadda, yadda _WhewI'm saved_ Tai thought. Then he read about the "skilled, very focused and driven Duo Maxwell". 

"That's a load of crap!" Tai said loudly before he realized what he'd said.

"What is?" Julie asked. She sounded offended. Again.

_Crapwhy couldn't I have kept my mouth shut?!?!?!_ Tai continued to silently curse the stork that brought him as he studdered an answer.

"N-nothing. I meanI was just reading about Maxwell the other day and someone said that he was a goofball," he told her pointing to the sentence he had exclaimed about. "Sorryit just came out. But nobody really knows, do they? I mean, no one knows where this Maxwell is any more to talk to him and find out, right?" Tai hoped he sounded convincing.

Julie looked thoughtful. "Aaaactually, what I wrote wasn't in any book. It's just the conclusion I came too after reading about him. 02 is the most interesting one to me. I mean, I understand 01 and 05, being soldiers and all. One disappears, one works for the Preventors. And 04 makes sense too, he had to take care of his inheritance. But 03 is a little odd–he switched off between a circus and fighting and now he's settled on the circus. Those things just don't go together. But the strangest is 02. He's the most friendly and readily agrees to TV interviews, and he's so funny. He could almost do stand-up. But at the same time, he's the least likely to talk about the war and how things were done. Actually none of them talk, but you'd think HE would. But he doesn't. He's just really skilled at evading questions so he makes you think that he's answered them. But he never really does. Also it makes him less mysterious so the media leaves him alone, but none of the others. Especially not 01. Media is always talking about him. And I think that's because he's the MOST mysterious. No one even knows what he looks like and the few who do know aren't talking. But in light of all this, I think 02 must be very intelligent."

Tai shrugged. "That makes sense," he agreed. And it did. Unfortunately, being out in the open wasn't a choice for everyone

"I just wonder WHY 01 disappeared. He could have had anything and been anything. He was the leader, the most skilled–heck, he even beat Zechs Marquis! And then he runs. Why would he do that?" Julie asked.

Tai shrugged. "Sometimes people just want to escape their past and the easiest way is to disappear."

Julie scrutinized Tai's face. "You sound as if you know from experience."

Tai raised an eyebrow. _Does she suspect?_ Then he looked at her suspicious face. _No way. She suspects something, but not that. Not in a million years_.

"Doesn't everybody?"

"How so?" Julie asked.

"Well, aren't there things you wish that you'd never done, never even thought about? So you try to fix them but just dig yourself in deeper. Finally, the only thing you can do is just drop everything, don't think about anything. Just let yourself go blank and forget about it. And it becomes a type of repressed memory. It's always there, but most of the time you don't think about it. That way you can go on living," Tai explained. Julie looked a little blank. "You haven't ever experienced what I'm talking about?"

Julie shook her head. "I've never experienced or done anything THAT bad."

"Then you are very lucky," Tai said, slight disbelief evident in his voice.

"But that still doesn't account for his disappearance!" 

"Yes it does. What he did was so bad that he dropped his entire life and gave himself a new one."

"But what could he have done that was THAT bad? Tons of other people fought and killed during the war. What was so different about him?" Julie asked, more to herself than to Tai. She seemed to have accepted his explanation.

Tai shrugged again and went on reading. But then he stopped. He was tired. It was too difficult to read and fear that he'd get caught. "Why don't we take a little break. My eyes are going in circles now," Tai said decisively.

Julie smiled. "Okay. I've been doing this since this morning so I could use a break."

Tai nodded and they both got up. Julie threw on some shoes and a jacket and they left.

They walked through campus until they got to the play ground outside of a local school. It was away from the road and very peaceful. Tai sat down on a swing and began to pump himself up high. He hadn't done this sincethis past summer with Yachi. Okay, so it hadn't been that long since he'd swung.

Julie kept closer to the ground, playing with the dirt under her shoes. She was very quiet.

"Hey, what's on your mind?" Tai called down from his swing.

Julie looked up at him and smiled, but then looked shyly down again. Tai slowed his swing down to a stop to look at her on eye level. "Come one, what's go you so serious?"

Julie was fiddling with her hands. "I can't stop thinking about 01 and everything we talked about. AndI was just wondering somethingbut I don't think that I should askit's kind ofintrusive."

"If it's something that I don't want to answer, I'll tell you so. What are you wondering?" Tai wondered if he'd regret telling her that.

"Don't get mad," she began, and Tai groaned. She hesitated.

"Go ahead and askI can take it" Tai said with dramatic emphasis.

Julie giggled. "Okay then. It's justKieko was telling me something Huy told her about you."

"Oh, I think I know where this is going," Tai said.

"She said that you werewell, she worded it really funny, but basically you were lost then you were three and found again when you were 17. I was just wondering whatyou don't have to answer if you don't want to!" It looked as if Julie had been thinking about this for some time.

"When did Kieko tell you about this?"

"I don't really remember. A couple months ago, maybe. Something like that anyway."

Tai nodded. "It was during a colony uprising and I managed to escape from my mom's grasp and was lost in the crowd. And my senior year in high school, I was transferred to a new school and Huy was there. That's how I found out who I was."

Julie looked as him with large eyes. "That's so sad."

Tai shrugged. "It doesn't bother me. I found my family. That's all that really matters to me. I'm happy and safe."

"Safe?" 

Tai wished he'd chosen another word. "YahI wasn't exactly living...the usual lifestyle of a child."

Julie was staring at her shoes again. "Sowhat happened during those years? Could youremember your old family?"

Tai looked carefully at the open sky. "I have vague memories, they feel more like a dream and I didn't know they were real until just a little while ago. But it doesn't really matter what happened to me between then and now."

"It must have been hard, growing up not knowing who you really were," Julie said sadly.

"As I said, I'm fine. And your past doesn't really determine who you are. Your personality and how you carry yourself and how you act determine how you are. Family just helps you along. I never worried about who I was. I justlived."

"Sorry. I probably shouldn't have asked that."

"It's okay. I don't mind."

"You are such a strong, kind person, Tai."

"Not nearly as much as some" Tai said thoughtfully. Then he sighed and stood up. "We better get going on that paper of yours. Maybe we can get it finished."

Julie was busily fiddling with her coat sleeve, hiding her face. _She's crying._

"Okay, I'm coming." Julie's voice was shaky.

"What's the matter?" Tai asked.

"Huh?" Julie said with false ignorance.

"You're crying. What's wrong?"

"I was just imagining how I'd feel if my sister was lost for that longI'm sorry, I can't help but think about it. It seems so sad"

"It's very happy to me. I learned a lot," Tai said firmly. "Now lets work on that paper."

_Heero. It has to be him.!_ Deirdre couldn't believe what she was seeing. He was playing basketball at her school. He was supposed to be dead.

The cheering crowd was only a shadow in the back of her mind, in a deafening quiet. She felt her throat grow dry and her stomach began to churn.

Deirdre turned and climbed over everyone, ignoring the annoyed protests of the people she was climbing over for the second time. Then she raced up the concrete stairs of the arena to the nearest girls' bathroom. She threw open a stalldoor and locked it with a resounding click and turned to the toilet. Everything in her stomach promptly deposited itself into the toilet.

She continued to vomit until it was just dry hieves. She felt numb and dead inside. _Get a hold of yourself, girl! It can't be him. It just looks like him. You are fine. Heero is dead and you have moved on with your life. Everything is okay. You are okay. Now get UP!!_ Deirdre continued to fight with herself, trying to get her limp body to move and go back to her friends so that they wouldn't be worried. But all that she could manage was to flush the toilet and rest her head against the cool porcelain.

"Deirdre, you in there?" Amada was knocking at the stall door.

She tried to answer but all that came out was, "Amarugg"

"That didn't sound too good" Ianthe said, also right outside her door.

"Maybe it was something she ate," Maryanne suggested.

Greatall three had come. Finally she forced herself to answer in clear words. "I'm fine."

All three girls laughed sardonically. "Yah right Deir. A person doesn't just take off running and upchuck for five minutes straight if she's fine!" Amada yelled. "Now open that door and let us in!"

Amada began to pound of the door. It gave Deirdre a horrible headache. "Don'tplease don'tthat hurtsmy head." Her voice was so weak she even surprised herself. Her head was swimming forcefully.

"Okay, forget this. I'm climbing over," Maryanne said. Deirdre just clutched at her camode and groaned.

Marryanne landed softly behind Deirdre and unlocked the stall. Then she picked up Deirdre from behind under her arms and dragged her away. Deirdre was too weak to protest.

She felt a cold, wet paper towel pressed against her forehead as she laid on the cold concrete floor. She hoped it had been mopped it recently.

"Deirdre, what happened? Do you know?"

Deirdre just shook her head feverishly. "I don't knowI don't knowI was fine until just a couple minutes agoIt's not possibleI don't understand" She began to rant feverishly and her three roommates just looked on. They had no idea what to do for a delirious girl. 

Suddenly Deirdre shook herself, rolled over, reached up with shaky hands, and pulled herself up by the water faucet. Ianthe ran to support her little body as she splashed cold water on her face.

"I'm sorry I scared you guys. I'm okay now. I just need to find a water fountain. I'll just get a drink." She stepped unsteadily away from Ianthe to the door. 

The moment she opened it she felt strong arms around her, supporting her. "Are you okay Deirdre? You look like you're about to break," Marcus told her.

_MarcusI'd forgottenhow funny._ Deirdre laughed softly to herself. "I'm fine. I just need a drink of water"

"And don't let her go, Marcus. She ran off on us, but she shouldn't be left alone," Amada told him firmly.

Deirdre tried to ignore them and carefully took a drink from the fountain. Her head was till spinning and her throat was on fire.

"Well, what should we do now?" Maryanne asked.

"I'm taking her home!" Amada said.

"That sounds like a good idea," Marcus agreed.

Deirdre leaned up from drinking. "No." They gave her the you-must-think-we-are-all-high look. "I'm serious. Just let me sit down and I'll be perfectly fine in a bit. Just let me sit."

"Okay, but I'm taking you to first-aid," Marcus insisted. They all walked down to the first-aid station and had her sit on a bed. A nurse checked her eyes and throat and gave her some advil. Deirdre leaned back against the pillows and let herself relax but she insisted that everyone else go and watch the game. They all refused, naturally, argued a little and finally she got the girls to go and Marcus stayed with her.

They sat there quietly. Deirdre, trying to think and calm herself, and Marcus just the quiet shadow protecting her. Shortly after the half-time buzzer Deirdre got up. Marcus looked at her, surprised, and started to force her back down. Deirdre looked at him with steady clear eyes. "I'm fine now. I want to go and watch the game."

Marcus knew her well enough to realize that it was no use to fight her. And she did look much better. So they went back to their seats and all the girls looked extremely relieved, except Ianthe, who was practically on her date's lap and looking at him dreamily and hadn't noticed that Deirdre was even back.

"How do you feel?" Marcus asked her for the twentieth time during the fourth quarter.

"I'm fineand if you ask me one more time I'll sucker-punch you," Deirdre threatened. She was focusing on the Heero look alike. She had figured out that his last name was Iwasato and apparently one of the best players on the other team. But Deirdre HAD to find a way to talk to him. He just looked too much like Heero to ignore it. Maybe he was Heero. Maybe Heero had given himself a new identity. She had to be sure.

Just before the game ended Deirdre got up. "I'm going to the bathroom before it gets packed with everyone leaving. I'll be right back." And before anyone could protest she was sprinting up the stairs. She ran around the concourse that circled the arena and threw open the back stairway door. There were six flights of stairs to the bottom and she ran the entire way. She exited the stairway confidently so that no one would be suspicious and walked around the carpeted concourse that circled the arena floor. Then she saw a door labeled "Swinson Locker Room." She passed it up and stood about six feet away and waited.

About five minutes later the buzzer rang, people began running through the hall and tall, sweaty players started filling up the room. Deirdre kept her eyes peeled for the Heero imposter. All the players were now in the dressing room and she still hadn't seen him. She was getting worried. She couldn't figure out where he would have gone. She was about to run amuck, panicking when she saw him coming down the hall slowly, talking on a cell phone.

"Hey, I told you I'm sorry! They just changed it! I couldn't help it Kieko YES, I remember. Well, it doesn't really matter does it because Tai's gonna kill me when I get home!" His voice was almost exactly like Heero's too. Just a little higher pitched, but Deirdre wondered if it was because he seemed to be a bouncy, up-beat person, not apathetic like Heero.

Deirdre shyly grabbed at his shoulder as he passed and he turned to look at her, eyebrows raised. "I need to talk to you," she said softly so that the person on the other line wouldn't be able to hear her.

He nodded and held up one finger to signal that he'd talk to her in a minute.

"Yeshey, babe, I've got to go." Then he held the phone away from his ear as shouting came from the earpiece. He gave Deirdre a goofy look and said, "Oops. She doesn't like me calling her babe."

Deirdre nodded and pretended to understand what he was talking about.

"Yah, okay" He had the phone to his ear again. "I'll talk to you laterLove you toobye." Then he turned toward Deirdre and rested his hands on his knees and pretended to pant with exhaustion. "My fianceeshe likes to get carried away sometimes." Then he stood up and looked at Deirdre's less-than-amused face. "So" he began. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

Deirdre decided the best thing to do was ask her question quickly and get it out. "Do you know Heero Yuy?" She figured that he must because his face grew serious and he looked at her suspiciously.

"How do you know Heero?"

"He'san old friend. You're not him then?"

"No. I." He looked as if he wasn't sure what he should say.

"Please. I need to talk to him. Can you tell me how to reach him?"

Then the young man got a sly look on his face. "You aren't an old girlfriend are you?"

_That was random_Deirdre thought. "No," she said a little too forcefully. She wasn't going to talk about her feelings to this stranger. "Look. I'm a friend. I'm not trying to get him to kill anyone for me or blow anything up. I promise. Can you just have him contact me? I can give you my name and number."

Iwasato looked thoughtful. "No, I think it would be better if you contacted him. Give me one second." Then he ran into the locker room. A few minutes later he was back with a piece of paper and a pen. He put it against the wall and jotted a few things down. "If you want to talk to Heero call this number and ask for Tai. He'll be able to help you. I've got to go so the other guys don't beat me out of here. Hope it goes well!" He winked and left her in the hall.

As Deirdre walked back up to the top level to meet her roommates and their dates, her mind began to swirl again, but not from being ill. This boy looked just like Heero, but he was nothing like Heero. He knew Heero and gave her a way to contact him. Why was she so scared?

Huy cackled to himself as he climbed to stairs to his dorm room. He'd had TONS of people mistake him for Tai over the past few years, but it had never been a beautiful girl whom he didn't know before. He was going to tease Tai to no end

As he opened the door, he was greeted by an angry glare about two feet from his own face. "Hi Tai! Did you miss me?"

"Terribly." _He's normal_ Huy thought. "But I can't help but think of evil things to do to you and Kieko, I don't know why," Tai said sarcastically.

Huy grinned uneasily. Maybe now wasn't the time to tease Tai about that girl

"I take it a night with Julie didn't go too well."

Tai glared again. "You know I'm not interested in her. But you guys forced me into it anyway."

"Oh come on! She's not that bad! She really is a nice girl," Huy said as he walked over to his side of the room and began to put things away.

"I didn't say that she wasn't a nice girl. But I'm not interested, she is. That's not fair to her. And do you know what her paper was about?"

Huy suddenly got very worried. "No I don't. What was it about?" His voice was almost trembling.

Tai turned to the opposite wall and spread out his hands as he quoted. "After Colony 195: A History of the Gundam Pilots and Their Exploits." Then he turned and glared at his brother. "Do you have any idea how awkward that was!?!?!?!"

Huy laughed uneasily. "But you survived didn't you?" Tai glared. "Hey, listen. I'm really sorry. And I had no idea what her paper was about. I promise. I wouldn't have gone along with Kieko's plan if I'd known. You've got to believe that!"

Tai breathed in heavily. "Yes, I believe you. Justdon't try and force me into a relationship with someone. If I want one and need help I'll let you know. Just don't try and make me do these things," Tai pleaded. Tai sat down on his bed and let his arms fall limply down. "I felt like such a jerk going to see her."

Huy looked thoughtfully at the dirty shorts he was holding. "I'm sorry Tai. I justit's just that I'm so happy and I want you to have that too. I feelkind of guilty for leaving you alone like this"

Tai looked up at his brother. "Huy, I'm a big boy. I can handle myself."

"But if I leave, I'm afraid that you'll never get out to meet anyone and just bealone all the time. I guess I just want to make sure that you're happy and safemaybe I feel responsible for you in a way."

"Why?"

"Well, I was the one who first ran into you, and you are my twinmy younger twin," Huy said with a slight grin.

"I hardly think that counts enough to make you my elder brother who needs to look out for his innocent, naïve little brother."

"Yahit should probably be the other way around. But stillI can't help but worry. What if you grow old and never meet people--just some old codger in your room cursing the noisy children downstairs. I don't want to see that happen to my brother."

Tai smiled at his brother. "Thank you for thinking of me, Huy. But, as I said before, I'm a big boy. And I'm not as antisocial as you think. And about girls, I honestly haven't met one that I like enough to pursue. Don't worry about me."

"You've never liked a girl enough?" Huy asked slyly.

Tai narrowed his eyes. "What are you getting at?"

"You never liked a petite girl with red hair and green eyes? Very pretty in a quiet, elegant type of way?" he asked mischievously.

"Huh? What are you going on about, Huy? I don't know anyone like that, or if I do, I sure don't remember them."

"Really?" Huy looked disappointed. "I ran into a girl at the game who thought I was "Heero Yuy." She looked like that."

"That's odd.how old was she?"

"About our age I'd say. You really can't think of anyone like that?"

"Nope."

"Weird. Well, I gave her your name and our number so if she was serious about wanting to talk to you she'll call."

"Yahthat's juststrange." 

Later on Huy went to dinner with Kieko and Tai stayed at home combing his brain for a small girl with red hair and green eyes. The only red-head he knew was Trowa's sister Cathy, but she had gray eyes and she was older. _How odd_

Zechs marched down the hall of the Preventor headquarters. His stomach was in a bit of a mess. Half of him was furious with Heero Yuy and the other half was, surprisingly, happy. It was some how comforting to know that leukemia hadn't defeated the Gundam Pilot. Besides, maybe they could have another duel sometime. It was nice to practice his skills with a worthy opponent. But now he had to tell everyone else the truth. It could be messy. He was suddenly wishing that he could have brought Heero so that everyone could maul him as he so deserved instead of yell at him as he expected.

He opened the conference room door and several people inside stood up as he entered.

Lady Une was the first to speak. "Zechs, what's going on? You called all the Gundam Pilots? And it's something I don't know about? This isn't about anything you've been doing on the side is it?" she asked suspiciously.

"It's nothing like that. Don't worry yourself Lady Une. We just need to wait for the rest to arrive. I only want to explain this once." Zechs took a seat at the end of the table facing everyone who was already there. Trowa and Quatre were sitting across from Lady Une. Sally and Wufei still were not there. "We'll wait a few more minutes and if they aren't here I'll have them paged." The others nodded.

Suddenly muffled yells started advancing down the hall, and they grew louder. Then the door opened as Sally yelled, "Oh, don't be such a pain Wufei. It was only a little joke. Don't take everything so seriously! They didn't mean it!"

"Seriously? Don't take things so seriously, she tells me! Those stupid little beginners think they got the best of me Hah!"

"Oh, it's just your pride they hurt?"

"If you two would take a seat, I'd like to begin," Zechs said loudly so that they could hear him.

They looked up and quietly sat down, Wufei fuming and Sally laughing slightly. _Still the mature one, Sally is_ Zechs observed silently.

"Well, I don't mean to worry you all by calling you but there is something that Duo told me not too long ago that I felt you should be aware of," Zechs began. 

"I was wondering why Duo wasn't here" Wufei muttered.

Then Noin came running through the door carrying a file folder. "Sorry that I'm late. I got tied up."

Zechs smiled at his wife. "Thanks." Then he cleared his throat and began again. "Heero's alive."

The entire room went into an uproar.

"ALIVE!"

"That JERK! Why didn't he tell us!"

"And I was so worried!"

"That JERK!"

"Didn't he have the decency to tell any of us!"

"Why did he only tell Duo? And how on earth did Duo keep it quiet? How long has he known?"

"That JERK!"

"Everyone please calm down and I'll tell you what I know," Zechs said over the ranting. Everyone calmed down and looked at him impatiently. "About four years ago there was the incident with a boy who looked just like Heero."

"Yes, we all know about that so get on with it!" Wufei said angrily.

"I'm getting there. As I was saying, the incident. Lady Une, you went to the colony to get help from Heero about the case and you found that he was dying of leukemia, am I correct?"

"Yes. And I now recall the Duo Maxwell was also there," Lady Une told him. "But I didn't stay too long. He was very ill, near the end the doctors said. I had to leave and shortly thereafter I received report that he died."

"Yes, that's about what I'd heard," Quatre said. "So what did happen?"

"I think Heero managed to recover, somehow, and changed his name. Gave himself a new identity. In order to complete that transfer however, he would have to give Heero Yuy a death certificate so that no one would look for him and he could live quietly with his new identity. I think that Duo stayed with him the entire time and that's how he knew that Heero had not died."

"Wow" Sally said softly. "But he'd have to have a bone marrow transplant or something to live"

"I'm not sure about this, but I think that the boy who looked like Heero was his identical twin brother. I think that that's where he got the bone marrow. But I don't have any information to confirm these suspicions."

Noin coughed and everyone looked at her as she opened her file. "I decided that I should do a little research on that boy who looks like Heero and I found some very interesting things. He's apparently a senior at the Swinson University on one of the colonies. He's on a basketball scholarship and majoring in History teaching. His name is Huy Iwasato. And he's rooming with his twin brother, Tai Iwasato, a neurological science major. Sounds suspicious, doesn't it?"

"Neuro-science, huh?" Sally whistled. "I always knew that he was a smart kid."

"So now what do we do?" Trowa spoke up for the first time. "Does Relena know?"

"I don't plan on telling her. If Heero wants her to know he's alive, I figure that he can do it himself and face her anger himself. Duo defends Heero saying that Heero didn't even know that we knew about his illness. Thus, Heero's been assuming that well all thought he was fine all this time," Zechs explained. "Personally I find that a little hard to believe. And despite everything, Heero should have been in contact with us."

"Maybe he figured Duo knowing that he was alive was enough to keep us all informed," Quatre suggested.

"Which means that he might have asked Duo not to speak about it as Duo managed to keep quiet for four years," Trowa put in.

"Which means he deserves a good butt-kicking and head bashing" Wufei muttered.

"Okay, so maybe it was rude of him to do that, but do you all really think that Heero is that cold?" Noin asked. Everyone gave her a dumb look. "Oh come on! Heero's not that bad! I'm sure that he just wanted to get out of our lives and let us alone. I'm positive that he wouldn't be that rude and inconsiderate on purpose. He probably wasn't thinking"

"Heero Yuy? Are we talking about the same cold, calculated Heero here? The one who doesn't do ANYTHING unless he's thought about it first?" Wufei asked.

"I agree with Noin. Give him a break. I'm sure there's an explanation for it," Sally said.

"I too think that perhaps there is more to this than meets the eye," Trowa agreed.

"Well, how are we going to find out?" Lady Une asked.

"I think that I'll e-mail Duo and see if he'll tell me how to contact Heero and just say hi," Quatre offered. "Then I'll get back to you all."

"That sounds good to me," Noin answered. "Zechs?"

"Okay. That's okay with me," he said grudgingly.

Wufei managed a cough that sounded suspiciously like "prick."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N Shini, the 80 in Heero's "name" is for his birth year. Too many other people had that name so he used the number on the end. It's just easy to remember. Nothing else to say really. Just hope that you are till liking it! And thanks sooooooooooooooooooooo much for the reveiws!!! Toodles, Tygerlilee =^,^=


	4. A little phone call

Chapter Four

A little phone call

"You are not going to the play in that!" Kieko told Huy.

"But it's comfortable!" Huy whined back.

"What's that got to do with you not wearing this?" she asked brandishing some khakis, a button up shirt, and a tie.

"Well, that's NOT comfortable!" Huy said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Besides, I feel like a little preppy boy in that"

"Huyyou are impossible" Kieko said rubbing her temples. "Please just put it on"

"No. I don't want to. I'm twenty-one, I think I can dress myself!"

Tai sat on the bed listening to their banter and wondered if maybe he wanted something a little different from Huy and Kieko after all. Then the computer beeped indicating an incoming video message. He sighed and sat down, clicking open the mail. Duo's cheerful face grinned back at him.

"Heeeeeeeello!! Which are you?" he asked. Tai glared at him. "Okay, you're Heero. What's up?"

In the background Kieko had stopped yelling at Huy, and looked to her fiancé curiously. Huy looked uncomfortable and started to herd her out of the room. "NoI don't want to gowhat's going on? Why did that guy call him Heero?"

"Ohthere's a GIRL in Heero's room!" Duo yelled in surprise, then he started to laugh madly. "Hey there cutie! What's your name?"

Kieko came towards the computer. "I'm Kieko, Huy's fiancée. Who are you?"

"And now this conversation ends," Huy said cutting in and grabbed Kieko by the shoulders.

"No! What's going on?"

"Kieko, don't worry about it. I'll explain it later to you," Tai promised.

"Oh come on! Let me introduce myself to her! That will help!"

"Noshe doesn't know a thing about my pastand she's not finding out unless I tell her," Tai said. He could feel Kieko looking down at him. "Now why are you calling me? This better be important"

Huy quickly grabbed Kieko's wrist and pulled her out of the room.

"Huy, is that the name Tai used to go by?" she asked.

Huy nodded. "It's pretty confusing and I was planning on telling you about it since you are going to be part of my family soon. But I like it better this way. II'm not sure what or how much Tai would like shared. I think there are a lot of things that he's still kept from me"

"Then it wasn't a good childhood where he was?"

Huy shook his head darkly. "No. Not at all. If I were Tai, I'd probably have committed suicide by now. He's been through more than I can even fathom. More than Toshi can fathomand he fought in the war too."

"That's so sad"

"Every now and then I wake up in the middle of the night and Tai's thrashing in bed. He's even talked a little in his sleep before. It's scary"

Kieko bit her lip uncomfortably. "That's so sad" she just kept saying.

"I know. And the worst part is, I can't do a thing to help him."

Back in the room, Tai sat in the desk chair with his arms folded across his chest. "So what's up?"

"Well, for one, Hilde's pregnant!"

Tai smiled. So it wasn't anything serious. "That's great Duo. You'll be good parents. Is it a boy or girl? Do you know?"

"Well, we hope so too. And we don't know if it's a boy or girl yet. But we were wondering if you'd be our baby's godfather" Duo said happily.

"I think that'd be okayI don't really know what a godfather does"

"Well, basically you just are the baby's special friend, send birthday and Christmas presents and stuff. And if anything happens to us you get to take care of him or her. So will you do it? There really is nothing to it unless we die," Duo told him.

Tai shrugged. "Sure. But you better make sure that the kid knows to call me Tai. I'd like to keep the number of people who call me Heero to a minimum."

"I got you man. You do seem to have it the hardest with all that stuff. You're just too good I guess!"

Tai smiled. He knew what it took for Duo to say something like that to him. Duo, despite everything, had a lot of pride. "Thanks."

Duo grinned again. "Also"

"Here it comes"

"I talked to Zechs the other day. I found out that everyone thinks you're dead, and I kind ofcorrected that false assumption."

"Duoit would be better if you just let things gobesides, if I die and come back too many times, people will start getting medical conditions. This is the second time now for me."

"Well, Zechs certainly blew a fuse. It sounds like Relena was pretty upset by your death'. I tried to get a hold of her, but I still can't find her. I thought maybe it'd be nice if you found her and told her the truth herself. I don't think Zechs is going to tell her. Then maybe she can stop hurting so much."

"I don't think that's such a good idea. I don't want to cause her any more pain."

"Oh come on Heero! That girl's totally in love with you! She'll be ecstatic to see you alive! What pain could you possibly cause?"

"If she sees me again, things could get complicated. Number one, she'll realize that I caused her all that pain unnecessarily, and two, I don't think we could ever work out. A pacifist leader and a Gundam pilot? I don't think that would look too good."

"But you aren't a Gundam pilotyou are Tai Iwasato, a neurological science major about to go to medical school. You have a clean record, no federal offences. You were kidnapped as a child, tragically, but you were found and are totally sound of mind and body. What's bad or suspicious about that?" Duo said with a quirk in his mouth.

Tai sighed as he rubbed his face. "Duolife would gettoo complicated. I think it's better if I just let sleeping dogs lie, you understand?"

"I think you're just being stupid and insecure. I think you like Relena a lot more than you let on and you're making a mistake if you let a girl that classy get away from you," Duo told him.

"Okaydo you know where she is?"

"All I know is that about three and half years ago she took off and no one's been able to find her since. Zechs keeps in contact with her by e-mail and he said that this is her last year at some college. I'd guess that she's majoring in political science or something along those lines."

"Do you have any idea what name she'd be living under?"

"None. But I figure if anyone can find her, you can. I mean, she didn't graduate from high school, right? And she'd probably pick one of the best schools for political scienceso look in the best schools for a twenty-one year-old senior with a GED. Right?"

"Oh right. It's just that easy" Tai said sarcastically.

"What's wrong with that?"

"Duo, do you have any idea how many different schools there are? Heck, she could be on Earth or on any one of the many, many colonies. Where would I start?"

"Then maybe you should call Zechs," Duo suggested. But Tai gave him such a look that he amended with, "Or maybe not."

"Or maybe not," Tai repeated.

"Okay. But I'm just trying to help. Anyway, I've got to run. Hilde's not in too great of a mood so I better attend to her. Pregnant women are even more emotional than normal ones, if you can believe that. Talk to you later!"

"Bye." And Tai turned off the screen. Then he went over to the door and opened it very quickly. Huy and Kieko were both across the hallway talking to the wall. 

"What fine weather we're having," Huy said casually.'

"Huyyou're looking out a cinderblock wall," Tai said behind them. Kieko smacked Huy on the arm. Then they both laughed uneasily.

"E-heHave a good talk?" Huy asked innocently.

"Wonderful. Now get in here if you want an explanation, Kieko."

The abashed college students nodded and hurried into the room while Tai closed the door behind them. Kieko and Huy sat side by side on Huy's bed and Tai seated himself across from them on his bed.

"I'm not sure where to begin from so I guess I'll just be very blunt and simple. I used to be known as Heero Yuy, Gundam Pilot 01."

Kieko's eyes grew round and surprised. "What?"

"I fought in the eve wars and during 195. I Self-detonatedall that stuff that Julie's paper said"

"Oh my goshand you helped her revise that paper that night I"

"That night you forced me over there. Yes, and it was mighty awkward, let me tell you. Especially when she commented on Duo."

"What did she say about him?" Huy asked.

"She said he was very focused and skilled and dedicated." Huy snorted. "That's about what I said, and I had a time getting out of answering for it too," Tai explained

"What's so wrong about that?" Kieko asked.

"You know that guy I was just talking to?" Tai asked.

"Yes"

"That was Duo."

"OhI see He's a goofball!" Kieko said.

"That's what most people think. But I will concede that he's a good pilot. We usually ended up working together, whether we wanted to or not. I think he's still cursing me for the first few times we ran into each other."

Huy began to chuckle. "What's so funny?" Kieko asked.

"You've never seen those two fight. I'm amazed that either of you came out alive!"

"Well, we almost didn't. I wasn'tvery nice to him. But he did shoot metwice."

"He SHOT you? I never heard this story!" Huy said laughing. "What happened?"

"I had some girl at gun-point because she was trying to stop me from stealing a couple war-heads. He didn't seem to like thatand at that point none us knew of each others existence," Tai explained.

"Wait, wait! Hold the train! I thought that you guys all worked together and were a coordinated team!" Kieko interjected.

"Sometimes we were. Most of the time we all just did what we thought was right and many times those thoughts coincided so we worked together. But at first we all thought we were on separate sides. Duo was the first other Gundam Pilot I met, and vice versa. Then Trowa and Quatre found each other and there was a huge battle that all five of us went to. That's when we figured it out."

"Figured what out?" Kieko asked.

"That the engineers who had trained us and built our Gundams had worked together and each built their own part of the plan. But then a few things changed at the last minute and so we were never told about each other. The need to fight was too great. So we were sent out," Tai told her.

"Wow" Kieko said in awe.

"Hey, I just want to hear about this girl that you were going to shoot. What happened?" Huy asked.

"What if I don't want to tell?"

"I'll pester you until you do and accuse you of being in love with her!"

"You dork"

"That I am!" Huy beamed.

"Okay, okay. Duo shot me and I lost my gun. I went after it and he shot me again. He was about to shoot me a third time when the girl jumped in front and insisted on tying up my gunshot wounds. Then I managed to get myself blown up and carted off to a hospital. Duo broke me out of it and I stayed with him to fix my Gundam. Then I left and he wasn't too happy with me so we had a bit of a fight the next time we met–or at least he interrupted my mission and I made him think I was going to shoot him down. He nearly wet himself."

"Why wasn't he happy with you?" Huy wondered.

"I repaired my Gundam with parts from his Deathscythe."

Huy laughed and Kieko looked horrified. "TAI!! You're awful!"

"All's fair in love and war." Tai said with a shrug. Huy laughed more.

"So did you ever see that girl again?" Huy asked.

"A few times"

"What's her na-ame?" Huy said in a sing-song voice.

Tai rolled his eyes. "You can just forget about finding some old love in my past. I was fifteen. Nothing ever happens romantically when you are fifteen." Then Tai got up. "I've got to go turn in a paper before five." He grabbed his backpack and opened the door to leave but stopped. "And her name was Relena Peacecraft. See ya."

Huy and Kieko just sat there with their mouths open, almost to the floor.

Deirdre circled her room for the fiftieth time, holding a torn off little piece of paper. _Heero's numberI think_. She couldn't understandwhy would Heero fake his own death and not tell anyone? The only people who cared or knew him didn't even know, otherwise he would have told her. How could he be soso much like a _guy_? Was he not thinking? Did he not care? Did he think no one else cared about him?

Or maybe he was just running from everyone. Maybe he didn't want to be found. He had run from her during the wars, hidden from her. But she didn't think he genuinely hated her. Should she call? Why on earth would Heero not tell anyone he was alive?

When Kiki came in, Deirdre was so preoccupied that she didn't even notice. She just kept pacing. 

Kiki dumped her bag on the floor beside her bed and pulled out some books, pencil in her mouth, began to read and scratch in notes here and there as she sat on her bed.

*Thump* Deirdre ran into the side of her own bed, but kept pacing without even breaking eye-contact with the paper.

Kiki looked at her roommate curiously. She had only known Deirdre a few months, but she had lived with her and seen her more than anyone else. She had seen her at all hours of the day, seen her happy, seen that when she was sad she locked herself in the bathroom so no one would see even though everyone knew that she was upset, and even heard her whimper in her sleep once or twice. But that was very rare. And she had NEVER seen her like this. Her face was blank and she was totally focused in on her other world inside her mind. And for some reason, Kiki was actually a little concerned about her roommate.

_Why should I care about her? Who gives a flip anyway. No one cares about me_ And Kiki turned back to her book.

*Thump* This time Deirdre had run into the closet door–which was closed. Again she didn't break her gaze.

With exaggerated annoyance Kiki yelled, "Will you stop that infernal pacing and sit down! I can't study with you going on like that!"

"Um" Deirdre said dreamily as she sat down, straight-backed on the very edge of her bed.

Kiki scrunched her face in disgust. "If you're going on about that Marcus kid I'm gonna have to slap you out of it. It's disgusting!"

"Marcus?" Deirdre looked up and asked blankly. Her eyebrows crunched slightly in concentration. Who was Marcus _Oh! I rememberthat nice guy I went out with the night I sawthat boy_ And she was back to her paper, not moving, not blinking. Just looking.

Kiki got up and sat next to Deirdre and looked over her shoulder to read the paper. It just had some foreign name and a number on it. She shook Deirdre's shoulder a little. "Hey, what's wrong? Someone die or something?" Kiki asked, a little concern actually showing in her voice.

Deirdre's head snapped up and she stared across at Kiki's empty wall. A sob escaped her lips, and she clapped her hand over her mouth, dropped the paper, and sprinted to the bathroom. Kiki could hear the bathroom door slam shut and water run. Deirdre would sometimes run water if she cried loudly so that no one would hear. Deirdre thought she was being inconspicuous.

Kiki stood up and took a look around her room. The side by the door was Deirdre's and covered in posters, colorful trinkets, and only evidence of a happy, carefree girl. Things were arranged at angles and bright smiles of past friends and perhaps family looked down on the pink and green flowered bedspread. A floppy fish pillow decorated the end of the bed. Kiki's side under the window, opposite the door was empty. There were no framed pictures of friends or family. There were no little trinkets. There was only an alarm clock on the desk next to a lamp. School books, dictionaries, and thesauruses were on the shelf above her bed. The olive green blanket was folded on the bed to military perfection. Square. Everything was perfectly straight, up and down. Organized. Almost unlived in.

She sank down on her bed and thought over her entire life in an instant. She could see her father coming home in his pressed military suit, her mother strained from a job at the school. Her father yelling, her mother grabbing her and running. Now they were living on just her mother's teaching salary and child-support. Everything was done as her father had taught her, or rather, barked at her. Her mother was so tired of life, Kiki had never even heard an "I love you." Not once in her short life had anyone ever told her that or showed that they even cared. She'd run around with friends at school. That's when she started getting high and slitting her wrists. Who cared anyway? But then she got arrested for breaking an entry into a convenience store to get money for crack. Rehabshe never wanted to go back there again, and now she always wore long sleeves so that no one would see the scars. She learned to survive, got herself into college. And now she threw herself into her studies so that she wouldn't have to remember that no one cared about her. If she died tomorrow, not a soul would cry. She could forget everything when she focused and studied. She forgot that she was on anti-depressants and couldn't live without them. She forgot that her mom was a worn out empty shell at home. She forgot that her father was a high ranking military man who'd remarried a Barbie doll and emailed her on her birthday to say, "Join the army. Protect the colonies." What kind of life was that?

But she had never considered that anyone else had problems too. It was so weird seeing this seemingly perfect girl so upset. She was beautiful, smart, friendly. Many people would cry if she died. So what was so likeable about Deirdre? What did Deirdre have that Kiki didn't?

Kiki looked down at her small, coarse hands. 

She remembered that first day she had come into this apartment

_"Hi! I'm Amada!"_

Kiki snorted at the girl. "Which is room number one?"

Amada looked confused by the snort but answered nicely, "That one on the left. You'll be rooming with Deirdre. But don't worry. She's really nice."

Kiki ignored her and opened her door, dragging a suitcase behind her. She looked around at the very decorated, colorful side of the room and then and the empty one. There was a little, fuzzy teddy bear and a card sitting on its legs against the wall. Kiki walked over and opened the card. It had some cheesy, girly saying on the front about "Happy you're here!" Inside it read, 

"Hi! I'm Deirdre, your roommate. If you're reading this it means I'm not home right now. Sorry I couldn't be here to meet you and help you move in. But I can't wait to meet you and I hope that we can be great friends. With much future affection, your roommate, Deirdre."

Kiki snorted at the letter and bear and stuffed them into the closet. Then she dragged all her luggage up to her room, with no family or friends to help. Deirdre had come home that night full of energy and enthusiasm..

She walked over to her closet and pulled out the little bear and held it to her. Kiki never thanked Deirdre for it. No one had ever treated her like Deirdre did either. Everyday Deirdre asked her how her day had gone and when she snapped at Deirdre, Deirdre never minded. Once when she had failed a test, Deirdre had some how figured out that it was an extra bad day and made her cookies and a cute note. No one had even noticed that she was having a bad day before. And now Deirdre was upset, really, really, REALLY upset and she couldn't help her. But Kiki wasn't going to let her mope around in the bathroom!

Kiki put the bear away and marched to the bathroom door and banged on it. "Deirdre, you in there? Open this door right now!"

Deirdre turned off the water and said a little shakily, "Don't worry about me. I'm fine."

"You are not fine. You're acting like a zombie and I won't let you do it. What gives you the right to help me out on a bad day but not vice versa? I'm coming in." But the door was locked so Kiki went and got her keys and opened it. 

Deirdre sat on the floor with her head against the toilet, face turned up to look at the furious Kiki coming in. "Get up and get into that bedroom. We are having a talk!" Kiki ordered and grabbed the surprised girl by the arm.

She didn't notice as she dragged Deirdre into their room that Amada and Ianthe were standing and watching the entire episode with large eyes.

Kiki threw Deirdre onto her bed and shut the door firmly. Then she turned, hands on hips, and glared at her roommate.

"What is going on? Why are you so upset? I've seen you upset before, but not like this. What is it?" she demanded.

Deirdre looked meekly down at her hands, then her brain seemed to kick back in and she looked up angrily at Kiki with a hardness that Kiki had never seen before. It scared Kiki.

"I don't think," Deirdre began with a voice of steel, "that you have any right to question me like this."

"I'm your roommate!"

"That never mattered before! Why is it that now you care?"

Kiki had to admit that Deirdre had a point, but she wasn't backing down. "Listen, this is unnatural for you. It's natural for me to be a pain in the neck and poky all the time. This is weird for you. And I'm worried. What's going on? You aren't talking to anyone!"

"I never talk to anyone," Deirdre said in her slow, calm voice. Kiki began to understand that tempers weren't always manifested as flaring screaming and yelling. And after facing this cold, calculated version, she thought that she preferred the yelling. At least then you can yell back.

"Well, you are going to talk now!" Kiki wasn't about to let Deirdre know that she actually had Kiki scared.

"It's none of your business. Leave me be."

"It is too my business! I have to live in this room with you."

"I still don't see how that matters. You don't care about me. All you worry about is studying."

And then it hit Kiki. That's why people liked Deirdre and not her. That's why she was so unhappy. All she ever worried about what herself. Her studying. Her problems. She never had even asked anyone how their day was. And Deirdre was right, she didn't careor at least she thought she didn't care until about ten minutes ago. And in that moment Kiki realized that if she died tomorrow, she knew that Deirdre would cry.

"That's not true. I'm worrying about you now," Kiki said softly. "You're the only person who's ever been honestly worried about me or cared about me. And now I'm worried about you."

Deirdre's mouth dropped a little. Then she snapped it shut. "That's very nice of you" she said slowly, as if she'd never been faced with this situation before. 

_And she probably hasn't_, Kiki thought. _She's probably never actually melted a stone before._

"So are you going to tell me who died?" Kiki asked.

Deirdre's eyes grew full of tears again and she sighed heavily at her own lap. "A very good friend of mine died four years agoor so I thought."

"So you thought?" Kiki asked incredulously.

Deirdre nodded. "Last week at the gamesaw someone who looked just like my friend. So I followed the person and they gave me a name and number to call and said that that person could tell me where my friend is. So now I don't know if it's a joke or if I should call. I'm just so confused and hurt."

Kiki sat on the bed next to Deirdre and looked at her hands. Now she remembered why she had quit caring about people. It hurt so much.

"I'm sorry about your friend. But that's really odd. How can that happen?" Kiki asked. "How did he supposedly die?"

"Leukemia. I never even saw or talked to him before he died."

Kiki bit her lip thoughtfully. "I think the best thing to do would be to call that number, fully realizing that it might be a hoax, and find out the truth. Ask questions that only your friend could answer. That type of thing. And if it is a hoax, I'll personally go over there and kill someone."

Deirdre smiled. "Thanks Kiki, but I don't think violence will be necessary in this instance. But it's just so hard to let the feelings go."

"You really loved this girl, didn't you?"

"It was a boy actually."

"Was hewere you two." Kiki wasn't sure how to ask her question, but Deirdre seemed to have understood what she was trying to ask.

"We were never together in any way, but, I did care for him a lot in that way. II don't think that he ever thought of me as more than athan a marionette in some ways."

"A marionette?"

"It's complicated. Maybe I'll tell you some day." Then she looked at Kiki and smiled, a little of her normal self showing through. "You know, it's kind of nice having someone know about this now. I've never told anyone about my friend before. It's always been too painful. But now that you know, I feel as if I don't have to be quite so strong on my own anymore. Thank you."

Kiki stuttered. What was she supposed to say to something like that? But Deirdre laughed a light little laugh and put an arm around Kiki. "You don't have to say anything. Just maybe a You're welcome.'" And then she gave Kiki a little squeeze and walked out the door.

"Hey, where are you going?" Kiki called after her.

"I think I need to take a little walk and think things through. I've got to figure out what I'm going to say. If I don't, as soon as I hear his voice I'll break down. I'll see you in a little while. Thanks again." And then she left. And Kiki sat in the room alone with a little fuzzy feeling keeping her company while her friend was gone. If she felt like this more often, she probably wouldn't need those anti-depressants any more.

Quatre picked up the phone and dialed three numbers, then he slammed it down again. Duo had given him the number to contact Heero, but he was really unsure of what to say to him. "Hi, you jerk. What have you been doing all these years?!?!" or, "Hi Heero. I just heard that actually, you're alive and I was just wondering why you've been making us worry all this time." Or maybe the classic "Heero!! You're _alive?!?!_ We missed you sooooooooo much!" with plenty of dramatic moves to accompany the words. If Wufei was calling he'd probably actually GO to Heero's apartment and give a couple death threats with that cold voice of his, and then wave his sword around a little bit. Trowa would talk peacefully but be very reserved. Zechs would scoff at him. Noin and Sally might slap him and tell him he was a jerk, but then hug him. But none of those reactions were Quatre. 

For the seventieth time, Quatre picked up the phone and dialed. A Japanese girl answered the phone. "Iwasato residence. Can I help you?"

Her face was blocking most of the back ground, but what Quatre could make out looked like a typical college dorm room. "HiI need to talk to H-uh-Tai. Is he around?"

The girl smiled and nodded. Then she kicked someone to the left of her. "Tai, it's for you," she told the side of the screen.

A door in the background opened and the girl went over to the boy who'd entered. Just before Heero sat himself in front of the screen, Quatre saw the girl put her arms around the new comer's neck and say something in his ear softly.

"Quatre" Heero greeted him.

"Hi. Zechs told us aboutyou." _That was a brilliant way to startwho-ho, go Quatre_ Quatre was even sarcastic in his thoughts.

Heero looked uncomfortable. Then the man in the back said something a little blurred and Heero said, "See ya!" and waved as the girl and boy left. "Sorry about that" Heero said meekly. "That was my brother and his fiancée."

"Oh," Quatre said. And then there was silence again.

"QuatreI'm really sorry about all this. II didn't know thatthat you guys would care so much. Care enough to find out about me and worry. I can't say that if I'd known I wouldn't have still done it, butbut I can say that it would have at least made me feel guilty for doing it. I'm really sorry. Especially about Relena. I had no idea anyone cared that much."

Quatre smiled. "Of course we cared! What are friends for!"

Heero smiled. "Yahit's taken me a while to understand that. But now that I do, life's a lot better."

Quatre smiled broadly. "So when can we all get together? We all have a lot of questions for you."

"I get out for Christmas break December 20th. Maybe I could fly out to one of your places for a couple days before Christmas or just before school starts again. We could just see how everyone else's schedule works out."

"Okay. I can ask around and find a good time. I justI just have a few questions for you that I'm sure everyone will want to ask first."

"Go ahead."

"Is the Iwasato family really your family?"

"Yes. We were running during a colony uprising when I was three and I got lost in the crowd. Then I ran into Huy in high school and we did a little blood work. I've been with them ever since."

"You seem"

Heero smiled. "I am. Also, everyone knows me as Tai. In fact, only my family and Kieko, Huy's fiancée, know that I used to be Heero Yuy. I'd prefer to keep it that way. That's why I allowed for an official death certificate to be made. It's illegal to get into those records, but in case anyone does break in, Heero Yuy officially died."

"I understand. I'll tell everyone. And, uh, Taiit's great to see you again. We all missed you. And just as a warning, Zechs and Wufei will probably throttle you when they see you. And Noin and Sally might have a few unpleasant words for you as well," Quatre warned.

"I wouldn't expect anything less. I deserve it."

"You really have changed. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye."

Tai couldn't help but feel happy that he had managed to get everyone so upset. That meant that they really cared. But then he mentally slapped himself. He had been a jerk to them, and he was never going to do that again. Never.

Relena finally decided. She was going to call now. Most everyone was gone at the moment. It had been two weeks since she had been given the number and it was time to see if Heero was alive, or not.

She picked up the phone and dialed the number. A lot of places had video phones now, but they were expensive and most college apartments and dorms were so old that they only had a regular phone. Besides, she wasn't sure if she wanted to see Heero right now. Listening would be a trial enough.

The phone rang a couple times and a very familiar voice picked up. "Hello. Iwasato residence."

"Heero?" she asked timidly _Darn it! That's not what I wanted to start out with!_

"Who is this?" His voice was harsh and suspicious.

"Heeroit's Relena."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N SorryI couldn't help it. I know I'm evil. But now you'll read the next chapter, right? Toodles! Tygerlilee =^;^=


	5. Realizations

Chapter Five

Realizations

"Relena?" Tai nearly dropped the phone. He felt very shaky and yet very calm. Tai sat down on his bed slowly and listened for every word, every breath. 

For the past week and a half or so he'd been looking for her. He hadn't found anything either. Where could he start? He had no idea where she was, or what she was pretending to be. It was near impossible and would take years of looking. And despite that Duo had talked him into it, he found himself working harder than he meant to, throwing himself into the search for this girl who'd had such an impact on his life. And now she had called him.

"Relena? Is that really you?"

"Yes" she sounded very happy, almost tearful. "But you are a brainless twit, aren't you? Didn't you think I'd worry about you? You can't justdie like that!"

"I know. I'm sorry. Icannot offer you an excuse. I should have known that you'd hear about my illness and I should have contacted you. I think that I just wanted to dissolve what I was and be a normal person. So I didn't contact anyone who'd make me conspicuous. That was selfish of me and I'm sorry."

It was very silent on the other end and Tai worried that he'd angered her. He was very confused where Relena was concerned. He knew that he respected her for her conviction and strength of will and character, even if he didn't completely agree with her. And to some degree, he admired her. But any more than that, he did not know, nor did he understand. All he knew is that he felt horrible for making her hurt so much and he wanted to make it better. If she cared that much for him, so be it. He'd let her know that he was okay, but that would be as far as it goes. Any more, any further, and he did not know how he would react, how he would handle those types of human relations. And he did not want to screw around with her mind. She didn't need that. 

And romantic feelings were so far from anything he'd ever experienced before; he was sure that he would not be able to do anything correctly. He was just barely beginning to understand family love and friendly love, forget anything else. But despite all this, he could not pretend to be so stupid and blind at to no see how she cared for him. She'd chased him all around space and Earth during the wars. She'd trusted him whole-heartedly when her life fell apart—she found she was not who she'd always thought herself to be. She found a brother who was not really a brother at all. She became a ruler of nations then made a single nation. And the entire time she'd looked to him. And he could not ignore that.

Finally, Relena spoke up. "HeeroI'm so glad that you're alive. II still believe in youjust as muchjust as much as I ever did." She sounded shy and but still held her firm, solid voice. She was continually growing stronger.

Tai wasn't sure what to say to Relena about that. He had been so self-confident during the war, but it was living in peace that was the challenge. He could handle war, and her belief in him was we well founded at that time. Heck, he had asked her to believe in him. But now this peace time with civilian living was another matter. He was completely inexperienced and lived by example. He really had no idea what he was doing.

But he just simply said, "Thanks." There was an uncomfortable silence and Tai broke it by turning the conversation's focus away from himself. He never liked talking about himself much. "How are you doing now?"

"Much better that I know you're alive!" Tai could almost hear her smiling at him. How could someone be _so_ forgiving? And so happy? And optimistic? 

"Are you going to school then?" Tai knew he was asking leading questions, but he had to get her off of him or else the conversation would end very abruptly and coldly.

"Yes. I'll be graduating after this winter semester. But I'm not sure if work will be any better. I'll still be dealing with annoying old men who think they know everything!" Relena's voice was upbeat despite the confidence she was sharing. Tai was surprised at her insult to her fellow politicians, but did not dwell on it. He had grown softer over the years, so maybe she had grown harder.

Suddenly Tai heard several noises on the other end of the phone and Relena greeted someone who'd walked into the room, then she started talking to him again. "Heero, I'm going to have to go soon—my roommates are coming home, and that makes things a little awkward." She was talking in a quiet voice. "But I mostly wanted to tell you that I really would like to see you again. I was hoping that I could visit you during my fall break. It starts in a week. But if that would be too hard on you, I completely understand. School is pretty rough."

"No" Tai stammered a little. "That would be okay. My fall break is next week too. I could give you my email and you could tell me when you'll be arriving and I'll pick you up. And I think I can find you a place to stay."

"Okay!" Relena sounded happy, if not a little surprised at his quick compliance. Tai gave her the address, but then he realized something.

"Relena, how did you get this number?"

"Oh, a couple weeks ago I ran into a boy who looked just like you and he gave it to me. Is heis he your brother?" 

"Yes" Tai was straining to not grit his teeth audibly. "I have a twin brother. I'll explain my family and what happened when you come to visit. I will talk to you later."

"Bye!" Relena hung up sounding as cheerful as ever.

Tai hung up the phone and glared at the wall. Huy had seen Relenaand he hadn't told himhe had spent all that time he could have been studying instead of doing useless searchesand that ditz of a brother had forgotten to tell him that he'd run into Relena. Surely that pea-brain would have recognized and remembered Relena Darlian. _That little_ And he flew out the door.

The dorm building had ten floors. Each floor was arranged as a large box with the bathroom and a "common" room in the middle. There were several of these buildings all bunched together. Some were girls' dorms and others were boys. On the other side of campus were actually apartments with their own kitchens, like where Julie and Kieko lived. But Ai was worried that the boys would be too lazy to cook so she insisted that they live in dorms where food was provided. She argued that as she was paying for their education, they would have to do what she said, despite that they were both on scholarship. But where cafeteria food is concerned, it is always in great quantities but utterly inedible and devoid of any nutritional value besides starch and fat. Huy just used it as an excuse to work out more so that he didn't turn into a scary "white, fat, and utterly unrecognizable humanoid blob." Tai had just grunted and shrugged the entire matter off. He didn't care.

Earlier Huy and Kieko had been studying in the room but got so annoying with their jabbering that Tai had booted them out into the common room. He just hoped that Huy was still there now, because he was going to kill him.

Tai skidded to a halt in the common room. Kieko and Huy were sprawled on a couch with books everywhere and Julie had joined them on the floor. "Hey Tai, what's u.." Huy's voice dropped off as he saw Tai's face. "Uh-oh"

"What?" Kieko looked from Huy to Tai and back again with a perplexed look on her face. Then Huy jumped up and began to run.

"Oh no you don't!" Tai yelled and chased after him.

Huy ran in circles around the back of the couches with Tai right on his heals. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!" Huy pleaded one couch length away from Tai. They were playing ring-around-the-rosies with the furniture. "I swear I won't flour your laundry again!"

"My laundry? What are you talking about?" Tai yelled as he leaped over the couch at Huy. Huy shrieked and sprinted across the room. Tai rolled on the floor and jumped after him.

"NothingI don't know about any laundry!" Tai growled. Huy gulped loudly. Julie and Kieko sat in the corner staring. Neither girl had seen the boys like this before. They had especially never seen Tai this active or full of emotion, any emotion.

"Oh yah? Well then what are you apologizing for?"

"Thethe uhfrog I put in your shoe" Huy picked up a lamp to block a flying couch cushion.

"What frog?"

"You mean you didn't find that either?!? Man, you never let me get any fun!!" Huy yelled, panting heavily from the end of another couch.

"What do you want me to do? Run into your traps and scream like a little girl? Ha!" And Tai jumped at him. 

Huy rolled out of his way and threw a pillow at his brother, who promptly threw it back so hard that it knocked Huy over. And in less than a second, Tai had him pinned to the floor, straddling his stomach, hands around his throat. "Why didn't you tell me," he growled.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Huy looked panicky.

"You sure were ready to apologize for all that other stuffcan't you remember?" He shook Huy a little.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT BUT YOU ARE STRANGLING ME SO LEAVE OFF A LITTLE, WON'T YOU?!?!?!" Huy yelled.

Tai grimaced evilly and suddenly Huy had visions of what it must have been like to face Heero Yuy, the Gundam Pilot. He was glad he hadn't had to fight in that war. "I just got a phone call." Tai paused to see if any sign of a sudden revelation popped onto Huy's face. "A girl. That I used to know a long time ago." Huy still looked confused. "She said that she ran into you and you gave her our number."

Suddenly Huy's mouth formed a large "O". 

"So you're remembering now?" Tai asked.

Huy nodded. "I did tell you about her! Remember? I was teasing you about her and you couldn't remember her? The red-head with green eyes? I met her at a game a couple weeks ago?"

Tai rolled off of his brother and landed in Indian-style, eyes crunched as he remembered Huy telling him about it. "Are you sure that that was the only person you've run into who you gave our number too?"

"Positive. Why? Does that still not fit her description?" Huy asked.

"No. Unless she dyed her hair and got colored contactswhich would actually make sense That girl didn't tell you her name then, did she?"

"No. I would've told you the first time if she had," Huy told him

"Uhdo you guys care to explain what's going on?" Kieko asked from the couch. Julie was still sitting quietly on the floor with her large, hazel puppy-dog eyes staring at them.

"I ran into someone who thought I was Tai, AGAIN. And I gave her our number because I didn't have too much time to talk to her and that way she could contact Tai herself. But when I mentioned it, Tai couldn't remember her." Huy stopped and directed a sinister smirk at Tai. "But now it seems he does. Who was she?"

Tai looked very preoccupied. "Just an old friend. We met in high school."

"You actually WENT to high school?" Huy asked, incredulous. Tai shot him a death glare.

Julie looked even more confused and Kieko looked uncomfortable. "You didn't go to high school, Tai? I thought that's how you two found each other"

"I went intermittently. Whenever I wasn'tmoving around." Tai was off in what appeared to be a rather painful dream-land again.

"Hey, you okay? You look a little constipated," Huy commented.

"You know who won't be okay in about half a second?" Tai threatened. Huy grinned.

Then Tai got up to leave, but turned suddenly. "Would it be too much trouble if a friend slept on your couch for a week or so during spring break?" he asked the girls. "I totally understand if you don't want to—being an invasion of privacy and all."

Kieko looked down at Julie who shrugged. "No, we don't mind. Is that girl coming?"

"Yahshe wanted to see me. We'vegot a lot ofcatching up to do." And Tai walked off.

"Wellhe didn't even say thank you!" Kieko said crossly. "Does he act like that often?" she asked Huy.

"Actually he used to be like that minus about every social grace known to man when I met him. His vocabulary consisted of grunts and nods and you can forget thank you' or you're welcome.' He was a ROCK."

"Really? That's interesting. He's so nice now, in a quiet, reserved kind of way. He's kind of like the constant shadow that you know you can count on any time. Like he'd go to Jupiter and back for you if you needed it, but never asks for anything back."

"That was something I figured out too, when I first knew him and before I was sure he was my brother. Most people just thought he was a jerk but were nice to him because he was my roommate and I dragged him everywhere with me. But then he started to change as the year went on and mellowed out a bit. And then there was when he seriously save my rear." Huy's voice trailed off as he took a little detour down memory lane.

"Saved you? What happened?" Kieko asked.

Huy snapped out of it and realized the hole he'd dug himself into. "I, uh, was just being my stupid self. Don't worry about it. Let's get back to studying." And Huy settled himself back down on the couch beside Kieko. She looked at him curiously as if she wanted to question him further, but didn't.

No one noticed Julie starting intently down at her text book, hands shaking slightly.

After Deirdre hung up the phone she was greeted by Ianthe's "sneaky" glare as she leaned up against the wall, looking at her. "What?" Deirdre asked innocently.

"You were talking to a boy. And he wasn't Marcus," she said with a touch of smart-alec in her voice.

"So? What's you're point?" Deirdre said in mock annoyance.

"You're cheating on him."

"WHAT?" Deirdre was genuinely annoyed now. "Marcus and I aren't a couple! We never were! So I can do whatever I want with whomever I choose."

"Marcus sure seems to think he's got his hooks in you. And you have been going out with him a lot. Are you just using him?" Ianthe asked.

Deirdre's mouth fell open. "Don't you know me at all?! I'd never do something as low as that. Ianthe, who's been feeding you this stuff?"

"No one's been feeding me anything. You said you were going to go visit this guy over fall break. That sounds like something to me. And you should have the decency to tell Marcus about it, just so he doesn't get led on. Whether YOU think you're leading him on or not is irrelevant. But he thinks you guys are getting along fine. I don't think it's fair not to tell him about this guy."

Deirdre was furious that Ianthe was interfering, and even more angry that she had a valid point. But she hadn't done it on purpose. She hadn't even considered that Marcus might be forming emotional attachments to her. "I didn't even notice that Marcus cared so much! But that doesn't even matter. That guy is just a friend. I haven't seen him since I was sixteen. I thought he was dead, all truth be told. I just found out a little while ago that he's alive and so I wanted to see him. What's so wrong about that?"

"You thought he was dead?" Ianthe asked, her voice dripping with cynicism.

"He had leukemia and I heard through the grape vine that he died, okay?" Deirdre could feel tears rising up. Just talking about it still hurt, and she even surprised herself with how forgiving she was about it all. "Just leave me alone!" 

Deirdre ran into her room and grabbed her coat, then headed for the front door.

"Hey, where are you going?" Ianthe grabbed at her shoulder as she passed.

"For a walk. I don't have to listen to you with your bits of speculation and assumptions." And she walked out.

Ianthe just stood in the kitchen, mouth open. Deirdre had never acted like that before, and she'd known her a couple years now. 

Amada came out of their room with a confused looked on her face. "What was that all about?"

"I'm not entirely sure. I accused Deirdre of playing the field"

"IANTHE! Deirdre's not that kind of girl! She'd never do that!"

"But it sounded like she was and she mentioned some old friend she thought had died and then she got all choked up and left. Had she ever mentioned a friend who died from leukemia to you before?" Ianthe looked worried.

Amada shook her head. "No"

"She looked like she was going to start crying."

"I guess you guys aren't as good of friends of hers as you thought." Kiki's voice from behind made both girls jump. They hadn't realized that she was home.

"Has she talked to you about this?" Amada demanded.

"Only when I forced her too. She was really upset so I pestered her till she talked," Kiki said simply.

"What happened then?" Ianthe asked.

"I don't have the right to tell you. You'll have to ask her yourself." And Kiki went back to here room.

"What a pain in the"

"She's right. She doesn't have the right to tell us what Deirdre told her in strictest confidence," Amada interrupted Ianthe's swearing.

Deirdre ran down the street, panting slightly. She just wanted to get away as soon as possible, and as far away as possible. She loved her roommates, but sometimes they were harsh. Especially Ianthe. She was the most masculine of any of the girls, the most aggressive and forceful with ideas and actions. Whatever she did, she did all the way and with a lot of force. Subtlety was a lost art with her. If she liked you, you knew it. If she thought you were the biggest moron on the face of the COLONYyou knew it. Sometimes those were valuable traits. But she was out of line just now. She didn't understand the situation. She didn't even bother to find out the situation. She just assumed that Deirdre was just like every other person in the world. And that hurt coming from someone who knew her so well.

Deirdre ran all the way to the little petting zoo that was down the street from the school. It was closed this time of night, but there was a little play-ground out front. Sometimes Deirdre would go and watch children play or swing and let herself be five years-old again, cared for and unconcerned in pink-ribboned pig-tails and matching corduroy overalls. It was a little scary to go to at night but she wasn't thinking about that right now. She wanted to be away from the apartment. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to cry.

Today had been such an emotional day. Finally deciding to call Heero and finding him was bad enough. She had been a little angry when she first realized that he truly was alive, but it had melted away as soon as he said he was sorry. Heero had changed into an openly kind person. And that had made her happier than anything else had in years. But it was also draining because her brain had to adjust to him being alive again. And then Marcus pursuing her, and Ianthe's accusation. And school stress was a constant. It never went away. 

She sat against a tree and buried her face in her hands and cried. She couldn't do this any more. All this human relation stuffwhat was she thinking going back into politicsshe must be suicidal. She was tired of doing this on her own, of not trusting anyone, not being able to tell the truth. Hiding her identity, walking around in crowded places only to go home to people who didn't really know who she was, people she had been lying to. She loved them, but things felt so shallow sometimes. She just wanted a peaceful place with someone who would never question her. They'd understand her and accept her for what she was, just take it all in stride, and love her for it. There would be no accusations or hateful words, just peace and understanding. She wanted Heero.

After a little while, Deirdre got up and found the public restroom. She washed her face and took a drink from the water fountain, then started home again. Maybe she couldn't have that little haven she so desired right now, but at least she could be alone for a bit and cry. That would have to do for the moment.

Deirdre started the walk home. She decided to take the long way and walked up and down every little street she could find. She wasn't getting anywhere in her life, so it felt good to at least be moving physically. 

"Now what would such a pretty girl be doing walking alone in the dark like this?"

Deirdre jumped and turned to find Marcus' friendly face smiling down at her. "You startled me"

"I seem to be very adept at that. But seriously, what's wrong? You've got your worried, thinking lines working over-time between your eyes."

"It's nothing for you to worry about. I just needed some fresh air," Deirdre said cheerfully.

"You know, it kind of hurts when you don't talk like this. You're so friendly to everyone, but you never let them do the same for you."

Deirdre looked uncomfortably down at her hands. "That's just because no one can help me with my problems. They're a bitunusual."

Marcus made a face. "Do you honestly think your problems are so unique that no one else has ever suffered them? Don't you think that someone could help you?"

"Marcus, don't be cross. That's not it at all. Okay, so some of my problems are like that, but they stem from other ones, which I just can't talk about! I wish I could explain, but I can't. I justI'm so sorry." Deirdre started to take off running again but Marcus grabbed her by the arm and spun her around to look at him.

"Deirdre, I care about you. A lot. And you can tell me anything. Please believe that! I want to help you"

Deirdre shoved a hand over his mouth to stop him talking. "Oh please don't talk like that! I wish you wouldn't like me so much! I wish you weren't such a wonderful person because then it wouldn't be so hard to hurt you!"

"Deirdreyou don't care for me at all like that, do you?"

"I'm so sorry."

"So I've just been fooling myself all this time?"

"Not exactly." Deirdre felt like a slug. A big, fat, slimly, ugly, green and brown spotted slug sliming up someone's nice, clean arm.

"Not exactly, she says. I went away to Earth thinking I was hurting this poor little girl, breaking her heart. And then I realized how much I really did like her and howhow she was such an elegant person compared to everyone else. But I guess I blew my chance then. I should have realized what was here, huh? Now you've found someone else. Can you tell him what you won't tell me?"

"Marcus!" Deirdre forced herself out of his grasp and turned his face to look at her. "That's not how it happened! I did like you then, a lot! But I don't think it was in the way that could turn into anything serious. It was more of a little school girl's crush!"

"So you couldn't take me seriously?" he said bitterly.

"No, I"

"You don't honestly expect me to believe that there isn't anyone else, do you?"

"I already told you, I."

"You shouldn't lie. It's not becoming."

"Marcus! Quit being a pratt and quit interrupting me!" Deirdre burst out, or at least as close as Deirdre ever got to bursting. Marcus looked at her in surprise, but didn't say anything. "I do like someone quite a lot but he doesn't like me at all."

"Then he's a fool just like I was"

"I said don't interrupt," she told him sternly. "As I was saying, if you really must know, I've known this boy since I was fifteen. I met him in high school and he helped me though some very hard times. But he's never liked me like that. I always chased him. Then I lost track of him and heard that he had died of leukemia. I didn't even see him before that. I was miserable, heartbroken, and all that other dumb stuff. I've never suffered like that before and I had already suffered the loss of a parent. And this boy dying was a million times more painful to me. I've been struggling with this for four years. Not long ago I found out that he's alive, that he didn't die. That I had been suffering all this time for nothing and that he had survived. I called him today and I'm going to see him during spring break. He still doesn't care for me like that, but we are friends and I want to talk to him. I haven't seen him in years. So, I don't really have anyone. Marcus, you are a wonderful guy. But I'm sorry."

Marcus turned away. "This guy sounds like a real winner," he said sarcastically.

"You don't know him, thus you cannot judge."

"I do understand that if a jerk like that hurts you like that, he doesn't deserve even another thought from you!"

"Things were complicated, confused. He was confused. He didn't even know that I knew about his illness."

"If he was even ill at all"

"Marcus, I won't have you slander him like that. I won't listen to it. I'm sorry that I'm not overly keen on you any more and I'm sorry that you are fond of me. And I'm sorry that you have to be jealous of a dear friend of mine." Deirdre gasped at her own words and quickly bit back. "I'm sorryI didn't mean to be so harsh."

Marcus shrugged. "What does it matter anyway. I'll walk you home now."

"I was walking just fine on my own before. You don't have to do that."

Marcus forced a smile. "You really are an amazing person, Relena Darlian." Deirdre gasped, eyes as big as watermelons. Marcus laughed at her reaction. "Come on. You know who my father is. And you know where I work. Did you honestly think that I wouldn't recognize you? You still have the same little pretty face."

"No one else has. When did you realize it?" Deirdre asked slowly.

"Well, when I very first met you, I had a very strong case of deja vous, between your appearance and how you held yourself, even how you spoke. It took me about a week to place you, but I decided that what you were doing was good. You were only a high school student when you were working. That's too young. Now you are older, more mature, more experienced, and you actually have a degree in what you will be doing. Before you were just spouting ideas that made sense to you and telling everyone else in such a pretty way with that pretty face so they believed you." Marcus smiled. "I thought you were such a little girl when I met you. I couldn't believe that such a person could rule a world nation. But now I see why. You were just hiding your true self, as was necessary."

Deirdre was concentrating on her shoes. "Have youhave you"

"I haven't shared my revelation with anyone, nor will I. I just wish that I hadn't been so stupid when you did like me."

Deirdre shook her head. "You are a nice person, but it would never have worked."

"So can you tell me this boy's name?"

"It wouldn't mean anything to you. He's just a normal civilian."

"He can hardly be normal if he's captured someone like you."

"Well, I would hardly call it a capture." Deirdre sighed.

"If he showed any interest at all though, you would"

"I would be at his side in a heart beat. I've never known anyone like him before or since."

Marcus nodded sadly. "Let me walk you home." Deirdre nodded and walked quietly at his side. Marcus was a truly good person.

Trowa lay on his back in the black on the bed, legs dangling down, in the trailer room. He threw a blue rubber ball into the air and then caught it, over and over. He watched it spinning, turning, the single white stripe around it twirling.

_Heero_ thump. He caught the all and held it for a second. _You confuse me so much, Heero. Why do this? I want to believe that you had everyone's best interests in mind, but this has me over for a loop_

He began to throw the ball again, images of Heero's self-detonation in his mind. He remembered carrying the pilot in his Gundam's hand to the circus. Cathy had helped care for him and it had taken a full month for Heero to regain consciousness. Then Trowa had tried to follow Heero's example.

_How can something be so right for someone, and work, but be so wrong for someone else? How could it have been the best thing for Heero to self-detonate, but not for me?_

Thump. Thump. He caught the ball over and over again. He never missed.

_Cathy stopped mebut there was no one to stop Heero. Is that why it was okay? Because people cared about me, but Heero didn't have anyone?_

Thump. Thump. 

_Nothat's not true. Sally was worried about him. Relena cared. Relena has always cared. Duo cared too, and Zechs, in an odd sort of way. But maybemaybe his duty and mission ruled over any love he may have had for them, any thought of their love for him. Cathy's tears stopped me, but no one's tears stopped Heero. They cared, but not visibly, not so that Heero could see. Is that why Heero didn't bother contacting us? Did he think that no one cared, still? Could he not see anybody's tears?_

Thump. Thump. Thump. Trowa caught the ball again, the constant beat ceasing allowing the silence to seep into his bones.

_That's so sad. I hope he can understand love. Life is not life where there is no love_

Trowa smirked to the dark ceiling. 

_WellI guess I don't need Heero as my example anymore._

There was a beep of his laptop and Trowa sat up and pulled it out from under the bed. He had an incoming video message.

"Hello Trowa. How are you?" Quatre's bright blond hair and the light from the screen suddenly illuminating the darkness blinded him for a moment.

"Fine. Did you get Heero?"

Quatre smiled and nodded. "Yes I did and he agreed to a meeting at Christmas with all of us. He's too busy with classes right now. It would cost him his grades, which I understand. Either right before Christmas or right after would work for him. He'll be with his family on Christmas."

"Family?"

"Yes. He has a family, but he didn't go into the details. He said that he'd tell all of us together at Christmas. So which is better for you? Before or after?"

"I think before would be better. We get a few days off. After is too hectic, with New Years so soon."

"Okay. I've been taking a poll and trying to coordinate times."

"How's it looking so far?"

"Several I don't cares.' Only you have had a personal preference. I just wish that we could get Miss Relena to come. But Zechs won't tell me how to contact her. In fact, I don't think even he knows what school she's at."

"I agree with Zechs on that one. She should just be left out of it," Trowa said solemnly.

"But surly she should know the truth. It's just not fair to her to not know."

"I think it's worse for her to know he'd hurt her in such a way."

"But they were never together. Heero had no real reason to think that she'd care any more than a friend," Quatre said.

"Isn't that enough?" Trowa asked, his voice had an edge to it.

"I thought that you disagreed with Zechs and Wufei about this."

"To a certain extent I agree with them. I feel Heero should be told what he has done and I hope that he feels remorse, but I don't feel that he should be black-listed either as they seem to think."

Quatre shrugged. "We do all have our own opinions. I prefer not to worry about it too much. Everything's okay now. He will never do it again, I'm sure."

"Yahsee you." Trowa decided not to argue with his friend.

"Good bye, Trowa!" And Quatre's still childish face blipped into the darkness.

_Well, Quatre can have his determined optimism. But, Heero should at least know what he's done_

Kieko came home late that night from the library. It was so hard to concentrate on school when you wanted to spend time somewhere else. She pulled some left-over stew from that weekend out and heated up in the microwave. Then she got an apple and leaned against the kitchen cupboards cutting thin slices for her to eat while she waited for the microwave to finish. 

She paused and looked around the small room. Half of it was a miniscule kitchen with the basic appliances plus Julie's toaster and Kieko's juicer filling up the cupboard space. A small table and four chairs sat in the middle of the floor. The other half was a carpeted area with a couch and love seat cutting it off from the kitchen. A television was in the corner in front of the large wall-sized window. Off to the side were two bedrooms, a linen closet of sorts, and the bathroom. It was tiny, but comfortable. 

It was just so strange thinking of sharing a place with Huy instead of Julie. She'd been with Julie for so long and now she'd be moving. Part of her was sad, and part was excited. She'd have this new partner for life. It was intimidating—the idea of being completely on your own, making all the decisions, and being a parent. Not to mention making sure that your own personal hang-ups didn't affect the other people you love so dearly, handling all the little quirks of your spouse, and handling even a few bigger ones because you love the person more than you hate them. Love really was only a hairs- breadth away from hate at times. They were both such strong emotions.

She was a little worried for Tai. After finding out his identity, she could see how much he truly needed Huy. And now she was taking Huy way from him. But he was so nice about it. Maybe Tai was more stable than she was giving him credit for. It would be interesting to see this girl who would be visiting. Maybe Huy was right and Tai did have a thing for this girl.

The microwave beeped and interrupted Kieko's thoughts. She stopped and pulled the dish out of the microwave and seated herself at the table.

Julie walked into the room silently and pulled her cup out of her personal cupboard and filled it with tap water. "Hey Julie. How's the studying coming," Kieko asked companionably.

Julie turned and shrugged. "Okay." Then she downed the water and turned to go.

"Hey, you don't mind that girl staying here, right?" she called after her roommate.

"It's fine!" Julie's voice called back shortly. Kieko's senses perked up and she chased after Julie and shoved her hand in the doorway before it could be shut all the way. Julie looked at her smaller, Japanese roommate in shock as Kieko stormed in.

"Are you sure that you're okay?" Kieko demanded in a very dubious tone.

Julie ran to Kieko and started crying. 

The two girls sank to the floor and Kieko stroked her friends hair as she sobbed into her lap. "It's okay. Everything's okay" Kieko chanted softly.

Julie hiccuped back another sob and looked up at Kieko. "I don't understand! Why can't I quit liking him! He's nice to me, and he seems to like meI don't know what's wrong! And you'd think that since I do know that he doesn't like me like that, I could just let go. But I can't!"

"Julieyou always get attached like this. And Tai does like you, as a friend. He likes you very much. He thinks that you are a very nice girl but"

"The nice guys and girls ALWAYS finish lastI bet this girl is a total wrench and just chases him!"

"Julie, I'm sure that Tai would never be attracted to someone like that."

"Is that why he doesn't like me?"

"Oh, quit that! That's an entirely different matter! Besides, who's to say who likes who and why? Things just happen, okay? We don't know why or how, they just do. I personally consider any relationship a miracle. That two people can like each other enough to trust despite all the hardships and reasons they have to not trust each other. You will meet lots of people you like but won't like you, and others will like you but you won't like them. Only a few are mutual, and that's when you get married. But even then, sometimes it doesn't happen. Just try not to let it worry you so. And if it will bother you to have this girl here, then we can tell Tai sorry, find her some other place to stay.' He'll understand."

"No" Julie sat up and shook her head, her light brown hair shaking slightly. "I can handle it. And you are right. I just need to get over itsome how."

"It's not going to happen over night, butbut maybe we'll even see that they ARE only friends. Maybe Tai's not just embarrassed over a girl so he's not admitting it. Maybe they really are only friends. Just keep an open mind. And Tai's not the only boy in the world. He's a nice one and you have good taste, but he's obviously not the right one."

"Kieko"

"Yes?"

"This is why you're the one getting married and not me. I'd just screw my husband up with all my insecurities if I got married."

Kieko just laughed. "I still have mine. I just keep them in checksuccessfully!" Then she winked and playfully punched her roommate in the arm. "I'd better eat my goolosh before it cools."

The next morning Deirdre's alarms rang obnoxiously. She sighed and got up.

"What in tarnation are you setting your alarm for on a Saturday?" Kiki groaned from the other side of the room.

"Sorry. I have to really get studying. I'm going to be gone all during spring break."

Kiki sat up in her starched, overly long white T-shirt. "Where are you going?"

"He is alive. I'm going to see him."

Kiki smiled. She understood what Deirdre was talking about. "No hoax then?"

"No hoax."

Then Kiki glared and swore colorfully. "Well, that pain in the rear could have had thecommon courtesy to call you and tell you he's alive! I'm not so sure I think too much of this boy."

"Wellthings are complicated. And I'm willing to let it go. I know he had his reasons."

"I hope you plan on questioning the pooh out of him when you see him," Kiki said humorlessly.

Deirdre smothered a giggled. Kiki was so weird. "I'll be questioning the pooh out of him' about a lot of things." Then she got up to get dressed.

"Ianthe doesn't really think that you're a slut," Kiki said from her dark corner.

"I know. That doesn't have me upset any more."

Kiki nodded. "Good. You're going to have to develop a tough shell if you're going to be in politics. Everyone's going to be feeding you crap and sending around rumors. You're going to have to ignore them and not let anything bother you."

"I know. And most things don't bother me. It was justit was just that she knows me so well on such a personal level that it hurt. But as I said, I'm fine now. And I talked to Marcus anyway. So now he knows about my friend."

Kiki smiled. "Good." And then she curled back into bed. Deirdre smiled at her twisted roommate and suppressed a sudden urge to give Kiki a huge hug. She hoped that Kiki could find the happiness that she'd been missing her entire life.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N Hello! It's you're friendly-not-really-in-your-neighborhood Gundam Wing fanatic! I just wanted to thank you guys for reviewing me. It's really hard for me to write because I'm always working and really tired (I work two different jobs so I can pay for college). And what's more, because I know how my story ends, it's not like I'm driven to finish it, so it's very, very easy to just let go and quit working on it. But getting on line and seeing how much you guys are enjoying this really keeps me going. I didn't feel like writing at all and then I saw my reviews, and I could write. It wasn't very much because my sister decided to grace me with her presence as she succeeded in thoroughly distracting me with her cheerful jabbering, but it still was SOMETHING. Anyway, thank you SO MUUUUUUUUUCH!!! Any questions, comments, or outbursts are welcome (but please have mercy with the outburst part! ^_~.). Toodles for now, Tygerlilee =^,^=


	6. Fears

Chapter Six

Fears

Huy was walking home from practice when he saw Tai just ahead of him. He ran softly, attempting to sneak up on his brother. Just when he got behind him, he jumped up, wrapped his arms around Tai's neck in a headlock, pull him over his knee. "Haha! Got you!" But in less than two seconds Huy found himself gazing up at a slowly darkening sky and his brother's smirking face.

"You sure did. See how I'm struggling to escape?" he retorted sarcastically.

"Awshut up. Don't you think you could at least _pretend _to let me win for once?"

"I've got too much pride for that," Tai said simply. Huy grinned as Tai grabbed his hand and yanked him to his feet. "Huy, do you think that Julie is bothered by me any more?"

"That was random"

"It's just kind of been on my mind. Especially with my friend coming."

"So there is something going on!"

"No, but that won't stop her from thinking that there is and getting her feelings hurt."

Huy sighed. "Well, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I think she and Kieko are going on an exercising kick right now, and are pretty distracted. You're probably ancient history in her mind."

"And exercising kick?" Tai asked standing behind his brother as he unlocked the dorm building and let them both in.

"Yah–they both suddenly are concerned about their weight. I don't get it. How can they think they're fat! I mean, if you call that fatI'd hate to see what you call those monstrous women you see around!"

Tai shrugged as he followed his brother inside and up the stairs. "That's just a common thing with women–worrying about appearance. And it's something you have to remember to NEVER joke about with them."

"YahI don't get it. Even Yachi's starting to get like that! Did you read her last email? She sounded like alike a TEENAGER! Isn't that disturbing?"

"Not really. She's twelve already. She can't be the baby forever, no matter what the rest of us may want."

They walked into their dorm room and simultaneously threw down their backpacks, sighed, and flopped onto their respective beds. "You knowI think Kieko might be frightened if she ever saw us do that," Huy noted.

"Perhaps. I think she'd just giggle till she was blue in the face." 

Huy cackled at his brother's comment. "Maybe we should make sure that she sees it at least once."

Tai sat up and turned to the computer. Huy got up too and dragged a massive history book from his backpack. "Time to hit the books. You got an essay due?"

"No" Tai said slowly. He was distracted by an email he was reading. "My friend just emailed. She's coming in about two o'clock on Monday."

"Okay. I won't be using the car or anything. You want me to come with?"

"No. I think it would be better if I went alone. Then I can explain everything. If you came, Kieko would probably want to come too and then things could getsticky."

"I don't get why you don't want her to know anything more. You've already told her the big stuff. And why are you so secretive about this girl? Who is she anyway?" Huy was a little worried about his brother lately. Tai had been quiet about things before, but he hadn't even told him this girl's name. And any time Huy asked about it, Tai clamed up and changed the subject. Of course, Tai didn't know that Huy could tell when Tai was avoiding something. "I'm going to be meeting her. Don't you think you should tell your twin at least something about her?"

"Aren't there some things that you just don't feel like sharing? Even with Kieko?" Tai asked, turning to his brother.

"Tai, this is different." Tai stared at the keyboard as his brother lectured him. "Tai, you're worrying me. I've never seen you so preoccupied before. It's justweird. You're always quiet, but not like this."

"I'mvery confused. I'll work it out."

"It's about that girl, isn't it."

Tai didn't answer him.

"Oh come on! Tai! Don't be so weird! Who is she?"

"Huy" Tai turned to his brother, "I'm sorry. I can't tell you anything about her. Maybe some time I can, but not now. Normally in a situation like this, I'd just ignore your question and rudely walk out, but you are my brother and I thought you deserved at least this much of an explanation. I can't tell you. So please don't question me because you'll only get angry at my silence."

Huy just stared at his brother. "Was she some kind of spy in the war or something?"

Tai just typed his answer to the nameless friend.

"Arg!" Huy flopped angrily and firmly down onto his bed. Then he glared over at his brother. "Can't you at least tell me her name? She's going to have to have a name when I meet her," Huy said in a strained, angry voice.

"Her name" Tai said slowly, as if it was the first time he'd said the name, hesitantly, as if he was afraid of mispronunciation.

"That's not her real name, is it?" Huy concluded instantaneously.

Tai didn't answer.

Deirdre straightened her spine against the back of the swivel chair in front of the computer. She wasn't sure what to think. She had been so excited to see Heero again, but now, doubt and fear began to creep into her.

Heero had emailed her back after she told him when she was flying in–two in the afternoon Monday and she would be leaving Friday at ten in the morning. But after this messageand remembering his voice over the phone, she realized that she did not know this Heero. She knew and understood the old Heero, but the new one she did not understand how to treat.

Her eyes went back to the screen as she re-read the short message.

"Deirdre,

Thanks for the email. I'll come and pick you up at two. After you get off the shuttle, go to the escalators. There will be several moving up and down, but just stay at the bottom. I will meet you there. Good luck on your exams and I hope you have a nice flight.

Tai"

He sounded sofriendly. Well, friendly for him. Heero was a kind person, that she had always understood, but he never showed it so openly. Perhaps he was just allowing his true feelings to show more; maybe he was breaking out of the apathy he'd been living in. But then again, Heero had never been that apathetic, just quiet. Trowa was the apathetic one.

Deirdre nervously bit her lower lip as she tried to decide what to do. It was already Wednesday. And she would see Heero in less than a week. She supposed that "Tai" was the name he was using now. He had told her over the phone that he'd explain everything. It would take some getting used to--to remember to call him "Tai" and not "Heero".

"Tai" she whispered. She liked the way "Heero" rolled off of her tongue better, but Tai wasn't bad. It was like Heero–short and to the point with a soft sound.

She knew that many of her friends believed her infatuated with Heero. She had followed him around during her teen years, and still thought of him often, but it was not like that. Heero had always made her feel safe, somehow. It was odd thinking of that considering he was an assassin, but he created a sense of security. It was the self-confidence and efficiency in which he did everything. He never bumbled around with indecision; he always made a choice and executed it. And it was always the right choice, at least it seemed that way. They only mistake she'd ever known him to make was assassinating the pacifists. But even after that, he kept his confidence and traveled around to offer the families of those murdered a form of retribution. Some people called it cocky, some arrogant. But it drew Deirdre to him during her time of uncertainty–when she found out that her life was not as she'd always thought it was. She found out that her father was not really her father at all, then he died, leaving her in her confused teenage state. She loved her mother dearly, but she had never been able to talk to her, she didn't need to. She had never spoken to her father either, but she had never had anything to talk about in the first place. As she did not know how to approach her mother in her time of need, the first time she'd ever needed her, she leaned towards an outside source instead. Heero. And that was why she had chased him. And her belief that he could help her with anything, keep her safe through everything never proved misplaced.

It wasn't until the Marimeia incident that she had begun to realizeother feelings for him were present.

After she heard about his leukemia, then his supposed death, it was as if her security blanket had been shredded, leaving her naked and abandoned in a storm. That was why she longed to see him again. That was why she was going to him. He would be her protector, always. He had said so.

Her mind flew back to the time he'd found her in the White Fang headquarters and been hurt in an explosion. But then he got into his mobile suit to fight. She had tried to stop him, but then he spoke to her. She'd never forget what he told her. 

__

I'll defeat Zechs, and then I'll get Treize. Then the war will be over. Afterward, if you survive, there will finally be peace. This is the only thing I can do for youI promised to protect you. But to protect you and the Earth Sphere I have no choice but to fightLet me fightTrust me. 

And there was peace, but only because he had protected it, protected her, protected the Earth Sphere. 

A single tear settled itself on her cheek. She remembered the look in his eyes as he said that. His eyes were always so vivid and bright, so kind. She longed to have him with her this moment, among her stresses and confusion. She didn't need to speak of her problems, just sit with him and know that everything would come out in the end. That was his special quality, what made him Heeroor nowTai. She hoped that she wouldn't slip up and call him Heero while she visited.

Deirdre shrugged her feelings off and signed out of the computer. She was using a computer lab. She did not have a computer in her apartment, mostly because it was a pain to move them around and she could just use one of the many on campus. 

She exited the library and walked slowly home, her mind working hard. She tried to visualize what Heero must be like now. Then she corrected herselfshe had to think Tai. She already knew what he looked like now–quite a bit the same as he had before, just taller with a thinner face. She wondered if he'd still be wearing that same green tank top and the denim jacket he had adopted shortly before the Marimeia incident. 

Her apartment was loud and full as usual. Each year she lived in a different apartment with different girls, each time her home had had it's own unique personality. This year it happened to be "boisterous." It was a constant for this year and was comforting. Everything was normal and happy. 

In her bedroom, she sat down with a sigh. Kiki was in the kitchen getting dinner for herself so Deirdre had a few moments alone. She took in several large breaths to clear her mind. She would take it as it came. Just like she did with dealing with Pablo and Marcus and Ianthe and everything else. 

Kiki walked into the room, surprisingly heavy footed for such a tiny girl, as usual, and sat on her bad across from Deirdre. "What's wrong? You look upset again."

Deirdre gave her soft smile and quiet laugh. "You're getting dangerous to be around Kiki. You seem to know everything that goes through my mind now!" she joked gently.

Kiki snorted and folded her arms. "What happened?"

"I'm just a little confused. My friend doesn't seem the same as he was when I last saw him. I'm just thinking of how I'm going to have to get used to so many changes in him."

"Changed how? For the worse?"

Deirdre smiled againKiki was very negative, but how could she help it? She'd only ever seen people go downhill in life. "No, I think it's for the better, but I can't be sure. I haven't seen him."

"How different?" Kiki repeated.

"More friendly, perhaps more open. I can't quite put my finger on it." Deirdre laughed and brushed off the conversation. "I'll know soon enough though! How was your day?"

Kiki rolled her eyes. "I'm about to kill my professor in calculus." Kiki was a physics major and all of her teachers got on her nerves. Deirdre had once suggested it was too many radioactive fumes from uranium and radium. She had been rewarded by a typical Kiki glare.

"What happened this time?"

"He made a crack on Filipinos"

Deirdre nodded in understanding. It was hard to hold your tongue when someone cracked on something or someone very important to you. She had nearly blown up when someone said something about Milliardo. Kiki was half Filipino. Her mother had come from the islands on Earth. Her father was a colonist who had been stationed there, fallen for Kiki's mother, and married her. But it had not ended happily and Kiki cynicism, anger, and moody countenance was the result. Although Kiki would never say it, Deirdre could see how she loved her mother, despite everything. And she was very sensitive about her heritage. Once Deirdre had asked where Kiki would go if she could go anywhere. She had said she'd take her mother home–to the Philippines.

"What does that old hag know anyway? She's probably never even _been_ to Earth!" Kiki fumed.

"Probably not," Deirdre agreed calmly. "And that's why you should ignore her. She's not physically hurting anything so just ignore it."

"How can you be so placid and calm after everything? Huh? How can you let people walk all over you like this? Can't you fight back?" Kiki asked angrily, abruptly changing the topic.

"I can and do fight back, but in my own way. And I do have quite a temper–it's just that no one here knows how to trigger it!" Deirdre smiled. Kiki laughed in derision. 

"You still let people walk all over youthat Pablo stuff went on for monthsand this guyand Ianthe"

"But I did end Pablo, and Ianthe just misunderstood the situation. And as for Tai, you'd have to know him to understand."

"So his name's Tai, is it? What is he, Korean?"

Deirdre had carefully avoided giving a name to Heero until she learned what he was going by now. She was glad he'd emailed it to her. It created some awkward sentences and suspicious looks. "No. Japanese. But I do know that all Japanese people have at least some Korean blood in them. Maybe his parents just like that name."

"Hey Deir, Kiki! We've got some pizza out of the oven. You want any?" Maryanne asked through the door.

"Sure. We're coming!" As Deirdre got up to leave, Kiki grabbed her arm quickly.

"Just promise me something Deirdre. Don't let this Tai walk all over you. I still don't like this andI don't want you to get into trouble with all this stuff. I worry about you," Kiki told her quietly.

Deirdre smiled again. "Thank you for the concern, but I'm perfectly safe with Tai. But I will watch out for myself as you ask." Deirdre gave Kiki a quick hug and the two girls went out of the room.

"Amada, don't you dare take that seat!" they could hear Ianthe yelling. 

"Finders keepers, losers weepers!"

"Not if the other person can hit harder!"

Amada gave a yelp of pain and Maryanne sat giggling while Celes looked at the pizza with big eyes. "It's so fatty and greasy" she moaned softly.

Tai finished his fifth rep and continued to push himself. His arms were starting to ache a little–he'd been at the gym for forty-five minutes now. But he needed to work off his frustrations left over from an aggravating study session with his friend Kade and their group, his worries about Huy from yesterday, and confusions about Relena. These past two days had been a mess. If there was one thing that annoyed Tai, it was people who never studied or prepared for class and then expected everyone to give them the answers. Well, not Tai. And it hurt him that he was hurting his brother by not speaking about this. But he just couldn't, not while Relena was hiding herself. But, as soon as she went public again, he was telling Huy everything. This was almost more trouble than it was worth.

Another good reason for this was he could use this time for his class. Tai always took one gym class a semester to help him stay in shape. He just had to reach a certain goal by the end of the semester and spend a certain number of hours in the on campus gym every week. He had a little card that he punched into each machine so that at the end of the semester he could have a printout sheet of his progress.

It felt good to exercise too. He could forget about his stresses and just work, mindless work. And after all his studying, mindless is all he cared about. Some people may like to talk about their problems; he just worked until he forgot them. But then there were the select few who did both

"And then, you know at this point I was getting kinda' ticked, she had the nerve to yell at me and bring up this thing that happened three years ago! Can you believe that–the woman never lets go! I was so ticked. But then, like I was telling you, I just said, no way, no how. I don't have to take this,' so I just walked myself right out of there. And I didn't even look back. And she, oh man, she was so mad at me for that. I bet she's just longing for me to come back! Hahah!"

"Good for you," Tai grunted as he pushed harder. He usually just ran into random people at the gym and paired up with one so that they could spot each other. You never work out without a spot. And people were generally pretty nice. One guy had snorted at Tai once, saying that he was too weak to be any help to him at all. But Tai could lift more than a good 90% of the people who came to the gym, so it hadn't bothered him. And there were plenty regulars, so by about half way through the semester, he knew just about everyone. This particular guy was a chronic womanizer with an IQ of about 82. Tai couldn't figure out how the guy had gotten into Swinson for about the first month, then he found out he was on a wrestling scholarship. Scholarship athletes were always morons, or mostly morons in Tai's experience. Obviously they couldn't all be idiots. Huy was one example of a semi-intelligent life form, but at times Tai still had his doubts about even Huy.

His arms started to shake a little and Tai wondered if Godfrey was even looking at him. Tai looked up at him and saw Godfrey eyeing some girls walking over, as he ranted about his long-term girlfriend. Tai could not understand some people, these guys who were so driven by something other than their brains. Maybe he just didn't have enough hormones or somethingbut none of his family or even his friends were like that. 

He turned himself back to his work when he heard someone call out his name. He stopped, put the bar back and sat up to see Kieko, Julie, and a girl with shockingly vivid red hair that he didn't know standing around him with Godfrey grinning stupidly.

"Hi. What's going on?" he asked.

"We were just working out!" Kieko said proudly.

"She's just started to think about getting married and now she's all nervous about being flabby," Julie said softly. Kieko swatted her. Tai raised an eyebrow.

Kieko looked back to Tai, blushing now. "I'm not really _that_ nervous"

"You'll just have to excuse the little virgin," the third girl Tai didn't know said. "I guess they're always nervous about the first time." She winked at Tai.

He shrugged. "I wouldn't know." The redhead's eyes widened a little at the implication. He smiled at Kieko. "I wouldn't be so worried if I were you. Huy's completely in love with you. He won't notice, and he wouldn't have room to talk anyway. Besides, you can't be that flabby–you're too thin," he told her frankly. "Huy may even have to fatten you up."

Julie allowed herself a smile and the unknown girl outright snorted. Kieko still looked embarrassed. "I know. I guess it's just one of those irrational fears of mine"

"Well, rationalize it away. There's nothing wrong with exercising, just don't get the typical fat-phobia' that many women seem to have."

Kieko smiled, but then jumped. "I'm sorry! I forgot to introduce you! This is Tessa. Tessa, this is Tai, Huy's brother."

"Hi," Tessa wiggled a few fingers as a wave to him. 

Tai nodded. "Pleasure," he said shortly.

"How much do you lift anyway?" she asked, eyeing the bar above him. 

"Only 240. I do 260." Godfrey had decided to jump in the conversation. "And that's only when I'm not pushing myself."

"That's nice" Tessa said sarcastically. Apparently large, sweaty, bragging men were not her type.

Kieko caught Tai's eye and nodded over to a corner. Tai got up and followed Kieko a little ways away while Godfrey tried to no avail to impress Tessa. Julie just looked shyly around. She seemed very out of place.

"I wanted to ask you something about Huy. Is he okay? He's been acting really weird lately. I was wondering if you knew anything."

"How's he acting?" Tai asked curiously.

"He's just really quiet and snappish. He's never like that, especially to me. I just don't understand!"

Tai rested a hand on Kieko's shoulder. "Don't worry. I'm sure it has nothing to do with you. I'll see if I can figure anything out."

Kieko smiled at him. "Thank you." Then she laughed in Godfrey's direction. "Tessa can take care of herself, but I think I'd better rescue Julie."

"Sorry about himhe's nothing but walking viagra."

Kieko snorted. "Tai, you are so weird sometimes. You are so quiet and calm, but every now and then you surprise me!" She patted his head as if he were a lovable mutt as they walked back to the group.

"What do you expect. I'm always hanging around Huy."

Kieko's eyes twinkled, then saddened at the thought of her fiancé's behavior.

Tai caught her look. "Don't worry. I'll take care of it." Kieko nodded hesitantly.

Duo sat up in bed suddenly. He looked over at the clock. It was three in the morning. He stifled a groan. Duo had to be up for work at seven and at this rate he wasn't going to be getting any sleep. Hilde was sleeping away beside him, one arm around his waist, head on his chest.

He wrapped an arm back around her shoulders and tried not to move too much and wake her. He was so restless!

Slithering quietly out of bed, Duo padded to the kitchen in his socks. He fumbled for the light switch and got a cup off water. Sitting at the dining room table, Duo sipped at his water, trying to analyze his mind, why he couldn't sleep. Flopping his head down on the table, face down, Duo groaned softly. Why couldn't he sleep!

He turned his head to the side and looked around the small apartment. It was tiny, but home. And with a baby coming and running a business, they had to live as cheaply as possible. Maybe after a few years they'd be doing well enough that they could make a down payment on a house or something. 

A metal stick seemingly pointing straight up from a chair across from Duo caught his attention. _Odd._ He sat up and grabbed it, and pulled up a knitting project with it.

Duo held a tiny sleeper in his hands. Hilde had been trying to learn to knit and crochet so that she could make blankets and clothes for the baby. The stitches were large and uneven, but it looked much better than her last effort. He could at least figure out what this was supposed to be. He rubbed the soft yarn and his mouth tightened. 

Make no mistake, Duo was ecstatic over having a baby. But that didn't mean he wasn't nervous as a rattlesnake. He was surprised he wasn't shaking all the time. Hilde would be a good mother. She was the oldest child in her family and had taken care of siblings before, but all Duo knew of family is what he had learned at the Maxwell church. Love. And so maybe he was worrying over nothing. He just hoped he could live up to his new title–father.

"Hey, what are you doing up?" Hilde asked, rubbing sleep from her eyes and yawning. Duo put the knitting on the table and smiled as she settled her flannel-clad body onto his lap.

"I couldn't sleep," he told her, running his fingers through her short hair.

She patted him on the arm. "There really is no reason to be so nervous. It is a big deal, but everything will work out. Don't worry."

"What are you talking about?" Duo asked, confused.

Hilde rolled her sleep-filled eyes at her husband. "Don't play innocent with me, mister. You know what I'm talking about. The baby!"

"OhI'm not worried about that. Don't be silly!" Duo was trying to convince himself as much as her.

But his wife laughed. He couldn't fool her. "Duo," she said, sitting up and holding his face in both of her hands. "I thought you said you never tell a lie."

Duo grinned and his cheeks mashed into a goofy smile in her hands. She started to giggle and fell back onto him, laughing. "I think someone needs to go back to bed," Duo told her, now laughing too.

"It's lonely. I need company," Hilde said slyly, walking her fingers up his chest to pull his chin down to her level. 

Duo rolled his eyes. "And such a big girl too!" But Duo put his cup down and slung Hilde over his shoulder. "Off to bed!"

"Hey! You put me down now!" she yelled, laughing.

"I thought you wanted me to take you to bed," he said in mock confusion.

"You know what I meant, Duo Maxwell!"

"But I don't," he maintained innocently. As he left the kitchen, Hilde still over shoulder, he turned to look at the knitting on the table as he turned out the light. He sincerely hoped for his child's sake that he would be a good father.

"Duo! I'm serious! Don't make me hurt you!"

Duo snapped out of his reverie to concentrate on the important matter immediately on hand--tickling his wife while keeping her dangling feet at a safe distance.

Tai unlocked the car door in the student parking lot. He'd left a book in it the other day when he'd gone to the public library. As he opened the door a horrible combination of hot, stale air, BO, and moldy food nearly knocked him over. 

Crinkling his nose, he surveyed the car. It was full of dirty socks, sweaty basketball shorts, several pairs of worn shoes, crinkled fast food papers, greasy napkins, and random sheets of wadded up paper and receipts.

Tai folded his arms and glared at it. There was no way he was taking the car like this to pick up Relenahe quickly corrected himself. Reluctantly he climbed in the car are drove to he and Huy's dorm. There was no parking, but there were places to leave your car while you moved in and out of your dorms. He'd just leave the car here or a bit.

Picking up a few small pieces of gravel, Tai took aim and threw them at he and Huy's window. After a few shots, an angry head stuck itself out. "Tai!" Huy yelled in surprise. "What are you doing?!?!"

"Come and get your smelly junk out of the car! And then you're going to help me clean it out! It nearly wiped me out!"

Huy grumbled and slammed the window shut. He was testy, Tai observed, reminding him of his promise to Kieko.

Tai went into their building and borrowed a vacuum cleaner, a mop bucket, a mop, several sponges, and several towels from the custodial closet while Huy cleaned his stuff out.

"I can't believe that I had this much junk in there!" Huy said in wonderment, scratching his head. He had a large garbage bag full of trash and his duffel bag was stuffed full of clothes and shoes.

Tai picked up a moldy sock from the floor of the car that Huy had missed. "You might consider just throwing some of this away–it's not worth cleaning, if possible."

Huy grinned evilly. "I might actually have a use for some of this"

"Who are you planning on?" Tai asked.

"I don't knowI'm thinking the boys down the hall have been pretty noisy with their girlfriends lately. Maybe I should force them to relocate"

Tai nodded. "I kind of like that idea."

Huy grinned and grabbed the mop. Tai was scrubbing the bumper with a sponge when he felt his back grow very wet. "Huy"

"Ye-es?" Huy asked in his singsong oh-so-innocent voice.

Tai turned around to see Huy behind him, mop resting across the back of his shoulder. Tai grabbed the wet towel that had lain beside him and twisted it tightly, and did a very good imitation of his brother's evil laugh.

Huy laughed madly and took off, Tai on his heels. 

Turning so sharply that he skidded to a stop, Huy concealed himself be hind a tree. "I know you're out there Tai! But I won't let you get me!" He felt a sharp smack on his forehead. Huy slid to the ground and stood up on the other side of the tree to face Tai in a full lunge ready to flip his weapon. "EEK!!!"

Kieko, Julie, and Tessa were walking over to the dorms when they saw Huy holding a dripping mop above his head and running for his dear life, angry red splotches dotted his face, Tai after him, his front completely dry and his back soaking wet, winding a towel tightly.

"Not again" Kieko groaned. "You'd think after so many years Huy would learn that he can never get the best of Tai. He's just so much stronger and faster," she said, exasperated as Tai pinned Huy to the grass, holding the mop handle to his neck.

"Well, its no wonder that they are so thin" Tessa said softly. But she was grinning at the soaking boys.

Kieko snorted and marched over to them, Julie and Tessa following. And she wasn't sure that she appreciated the way Tessa was eyeing her fiancé and friend. "If you two children can stop trying to kill each other for about five minutes, can you explain what you are doing? You BOTH should be studying!" Her hands were firmly on her hips and her eyes were narrowed.

"Well thank you mother for your intervention. I never would have realized it was wrong to murder my brother," Tai said innocently.

Huy howled as all three girls stared at Tai, mouths dragging. "Nice one," he chuckled. Tai shrugged and climbed off his brother, offering a hand and pulling Huy to his feet.

"We better finish that car" Tai reminded.

"Yah. You guys can help us if you want too!" Huy said hopefully.

"Help with what?" Julie asked.

"We're cleaning the car. I opened the door and the smell knocked the breath out of me," Tai explained. Huy whistled happily, mop across his shoulders, as they sidled back to the car.

Tessa laughed. "And you're admitting that you made it smell that bad?"

"No. I'm admitting that he," and Tai pointed to Huy, who was currently concentrating on mopping the top of the car, "made it smell that bad. I never go out for fast food and I certainly don't own any school paraphernalia."

Tessa dissolved into giggles and Tai returned to cleaning the car, concealing his rolling eyes. Julie picked up some glass cleaner and washed the windows while Kieko attempted to help Huy, but ended up getting kissed a couple times instead.

After they finished the car they all piled in and drove it back to it's parking spot then went to Julie and Kieko's apartment to make dinner. They all pitched in so it didn't take long. But Tai began to get suspicious about Kieko and her matchmaker attempts again–Tessa was following him around and asking him millions of questions.

When they finally sat down to eat, Julie interrupted with her quiet question. "Tai, when exactly is your friend going to be here?"

"Oh yah! I almost forgot!" Kieko jumped in. Tessa looked confused.

"She'll be flying in at two on Monday. She emailed me Wednesday about it. She'll be leaving Friday morning. I hope this isn't too much trouble."

"Oh no. We'll have tons of girly fun when you drop her off at night!" Kieko grinned.

"Who are we talking about?" Tessa interrupted.

"Oh, an old friend of Tai's is coming to visit next week. She's going to park it on our couch for the nights. Incidentally Tai, exactly how involved are you and this girl?" Kieko looked at Tai's confused face. "Oh come on! Quit playing innocent with me. We need to know so we don't end up with an uncomfortable situation because we misunderstand you two. What's going on? Heck, you haven't even told us this girl's name!"

"Yahhe hasn't told me either." The undisguised annoyance in Huy's voice caused a momentary silence.

Tai sighed deeply. "I told you. There is nothing between us. I haven't seen her since I was sixteen. We were friends at school. We have a lot of mutual friends as well. And her name is Deirdre. She's a political science and economics double major. That's all there is to tell."

"To be meeting an old friend like this after so much time, I have a hard time buying that, Tai," Kieko told him sarcastically. Huy snorted into his plate. Julie and Tessa quickly noticed the tension in the air.

Tai shrugged. "Then you'll just have to keep saying that and ask Deirdre yourself when she comes, because I have nothing else to tell."

"What kinds of things does she like? Maybe we could make sure and have food that she'd like," Julie quickly filled the silence up.

"Don't worry about any of that. I'm taking care of everything."

"So you plan on taking her out to dinner a lot?" Kieko asked, provokingly. 

"Kieko! No. I don't think she'd enjoy that."

"She sounds like an interesting girl," Kieko said.

"You have no idea," Tai told her.

That night Tai stared up at the ceiling. He knew that Huy was awake on the other side of the room, his breathing wasn't deep enough for sleep. Huy was hurt and disturbed by his silent behavior. He hadn't acted like this since that first year they'd met. But he had no choice. Relena was hiding herself and he did not have the right to reveal her identity to anyone, not even his own brother.

But this wasn't the only time he'd not spoken to his brother. Some nights when he woke in a cold sweat, Huy was beside him, talking quietly. And Tai was glad of the support, but it was awkward as well. To let someone help him like that took a lot of strength on Tai's part. No one had ever helped him in such a way. But even at those times, even when he was most frightened, so much so that he couldn't hide it from Huy or himself, he never told Huy what he dreamed. He never spoke of the dreams of the dead screaming or Relena's golden glow. He never told of the little girl and her dog, nor of the pilots and all they'd suffered. He did not speak of Treize, Wufei, Zechs, or Dorothy. He didn't speak of Trowa, Quatre, or even Duo. Huy knew Duo of course, but he never heard stories about the war. Duo had told a few stories to Huy himself, and Tai had told him one or two, but they were always vague and simplified.

Maybe a little while from now he'd tell Huy about everything and everyone he'd met as a Gundam Pilot, but he just couldn't right now. Number one, he wanted to stay a nonentity, and two, he needed to protect his friends, protect Relena, as he promised all those years ago. Once a promise, always a promise. Tai may have committed many a heinous crime, but he never went back on his word. And he was always sure of his work. Never doubting. Much like Relena.

Tai wondered why Relena chose such an odd nameDeirdre. If had fallen off his tongue with an odd twist. It just felt strange. But it wouldn't be too difficult to remember to call her that. But what was he getting himself into? Was it worth it to see her, after all the trouble it was causing! She was the one who wanted to see him anyway.

"Tai?" Huy whispered loudly.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry I got so angry earlier. It's just aggravating to see you so upset all the time, like when you have those dreams. And you never talk about it. I guess I just keep thinking that maybe if you speak about it you'll get over it faster and be happy sooner."

"But I am happy." And Tai didn't want to admit that he'd told their father about his years as a pilot, but wouldn't tell his brother.

"Maybe," Huy said slowly. "At least more so than you used to be. I justI just keep sensing some other sadness inside of you. Iyou're my brother. I don't want you to be hurting at allthat's all. And I think this girl is hurting you."

Tai struggled a little. What was he supposed to say? But he did know what he should say; he just couldn't say it. Why was it so difficult to tell someone that you care, or that you're happy, or that they made you happy? Why could he not tell his family to their faces that he loved them, even though he knew with every fiber inside of him that he did love them? Why was it so difficult? He'd learned to be happy and to love, but now he needed to express it. 

But it had already been several minutes and Tai still hadn't answered his brother. "Tai, you go to sleep on me?"

"No. I was just"

Tai heard Huy shift and turn over on his back. He wanted to apologize, but he just couldn't make his mouth form the words. "Taijust let me know if you do ever need to talk. Please, please promise me that."

Tai turned over to look at his brother's large eyes, reflecting the moonlight that slipped into their room. "I promise."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N [authoress slips behind a trash can, lifts up the edge and lets it fall over her, then she arches her back and slowly waddles off the stage–someone yells "There she is!!" and suddenly she becomes very grateful that she chose something metal to hide under, despite the loud clanging] Hehe-eh[she laugh trails off] Sorry about thatI've been really, really, really, REALLY excited about Harry Potter 5 [I'm a fanatic–I know waaaaaaay too much about those books than is healthy, and I don't even want to know how many times I've read them] and I've been kind of side-tracked.like yelling at my manager at work because he was being a doofus. Well, okay, so I wasn't yelling, but I was pretty ticked. But then again, I don't get very mad. For example, when I glare at my sister, she laughs. [makes very pathetic face and sweatdrops] AND I'M OLDER!! I should be scaring her!!!! 

Anyway, I'm very sorry about not updating, and I'm going to try and start pumping more of this fic out. But I'm afraid that it shows–my editing jobs haven't been the best. It is FALL break that Relena will be visiting Heero. And I'm going to try really hard to explain the character's thoughts well. It's so hard to balance them all and some are REALLY hard to write! Let me tell you. I personally think Relena is the most difficult character–I think that's why she seems a little weird in my fic. Also, I'm altering a few things. I'm trying to go back and to the editing necessary and I know this is a big no-no but this is what I get for not finishing the entire story first and then posting it. I was re-reading some GW manga and I forgot about this, but they say in Blind Target that info on the pilots was banned from the Internet. SO earlier when Julie does the report on the Gundam pilots, it's changing. And in Blood Bonds when Ryuzou and Ai find out about Heero, all it really means to them is that he was a soldier and that the colonies hated the GW boys for a while. Sorry, it might take a little while to find all references to this stuff and fix it. Anyway, thank you sooooooooooooooooooooooo much for reading and reviewing!!!! I was so happy when I got on and found I had so many!! Now I will have the strength to go to work for 10 hours today and not yell at my manager as he acts like the blithering idiot that I think he is!! ^-~ Anyway, Toodles and thanks!!! Tygerlilee =^,^=


	7. Introductions

Chapter Seven

Introductions

The morning of her flight, Deirdre woke up in a panic. Her alarm hadn't gone off (she blamed it on herself having gone to bed at 3 a.m. and was too sleepy to turn it on). Celes had gently shaken her awake and now Deirdre was running around frantically, pulling on her clothes and doing her final packing.

"Have some breakfast. You need your strength!" Celes told her kindly as Deirdre sped into the kitchen, flopping her bag onto the floor.

"I don't have time! I still have to"

"Just sit down and eat something," Marcus interrupted her. She looked at him in surprise–she hadn't known that he was here.

She sat down meekly and started to eat the toast, eggs, and bacon that Celes had prepared for her. "What are you doing here?" she asked, trying to sound polite and not agitated, as she actually was.

Marcus sighed and shrugged. "I just wanted to see you off–give you a bit of last minute advice that were I your brother, I would wish to share." Then he threw a glance up at the oblivious Celes, who was bent over the sink, long blond hair down her back with an apron tied around her tiny waist. The dim light illuminated the soft curve of her roommate's face. She looked very pretty and very innocent, yet mysterious. Deirdre looked at Marcus and decided that he'd probably already noticed.

Deirdre nodded politely and concentrated on her plate. Her stomach was a little upset and nervous from worrying about meeting "Tai" for the first timesort of. She was still having a little trouble remembering to call him Tai. Should she introduce herself to him again, or just pretend that nothing had happened? And he seemed so different. How should she treat him? Would he treat her the same?

When it was time to leave, Deirdre started to pick up her bag, but Marcus beat her too it and carried it to the car for her. She smiled at him appreciatively as he climbed into the back seat. 

The ride to the shuttle port was filled with Celes' happy chatter and Marcus' assuring, deep voice. The soft, friendly tones of the car and the pretty music that Celes was playing helped to sooth Deirdre's thrashing stomach. She didn't normally like to eat before traveling because she always felt ill. Or maybe it was because the only times that she traveled were caused by stressful situations of one type or another. She'd never traveled for fun before, and this case didn't count because she was nervous about meeting Tai again.

Celes pulled into a parking spot and the three walked into the shuttle port. Deirdre looked around at the many people walking quickly in their pressed business suits, brief cases, and cappuccinos. There were some families and a few teenagers. But mostly business people who reminded Deirdre of herself three and a half years ago. And now, one of the many things which had helped her to decided to leave that life for a while and go to school–she was going to see him.

"Well, have fun! Take lots of pictures!" Celes gave Deirdre a big hug and smiled at her, her large blues eyes dancing with excitement. 

Deirdre nodded and gulped as she hugged her roommate back. "Thank you for the ride. I'm sorry if it's a bother at all"

"Oh, don't worry so much! I'm happy to take you!" Celes waved off the apology with a pretty little wave. "Just have fun. I'll be here to pick you up when you come back."

"And don't let this guy walk all over you. I don't know much about him besides his very major lie, which had caused you a lot of pain. I'm not sure I think much of a man would do such a thing. But then again, as I said, I don't know him. If you need to come back early, just give me a call. I'll be here," Marcus told her solemnly as he handed her the bag he was carrying.

"Thank you for your offer and concern, Marcus, but Tai will take very good care of me. And you are right, you don't know him. Maybe you should meet him sometime. I think that it would help settle your worries greatly," Deirdre told him quietly. "I'll see you in a few days." She waved to them and walked off.

Marcus narrowed his eyes at her back. Some times she seemed like a normal college student, happy and busy and some times even a little silly. But every now and then, she was so quiet, reserved. A lady, delicate and proper, yet steely and firm. It was then that Marcus could not read her emotions yet it was also this version of the girl that he'd grown to care so much about, the version that must have been Relena Peacecraft, Queen of the World Nation, now Relena Darlian, Vice-Foreign Minister. He wondered who this Tai person was. If they'd known each other since they were fifteen, he may have known her before the wars of 195 had begun. Or else they'd met during the war, and if that were the case, he probably played a big role to have met Relena, or maybe he'd just been a lowly guard. Who knew? Deirdre certainly wasn't telling.

Deirdre slid into her seat, thankful that her neighbor was not the talkative type. He was an older man and fell asleep quickly, letting Deirdre alone to her thoughts.

She gazed out the window just in time to see a shooting star. Deirdre smiled. It was her omen. Big things always happened when she saw a shooting star. The only question was, would it be good or bad. Normally, Deirdre would chose to think it good, but with her stomach in its state of turmoil, she was leaning towards bad.

The flight was 5 hours long and Deirdre longed to stand up and stretch. Her legs were cramping up after she had listened to the few CD's she brought two times each. She could never read on a shuttle so the books she'd brought had stayed in her bag undisturbed. 

As the shuttle touched down, Deirdre closed her eyes tightly, gripping the armrest. She wanted to puke. What if he wasn't there? What if Marcus was right about him? What if this was all a dream? A scam? Some sick joke to pull at her heart strings by this boy who looked like Heero Yuyher head swam as the shuttle jerked to a stop.

The man beside her got up and out of the shuttle quickly, but Deirdre let everyone pass her by before she got out. She couldn't help but be a little melodramatic thinking, as she walked to the terminal, that fate was spinning fast towards her. Heero had played such a huge role in her life. It seemed to make sense that he would continue to do so.

She walked through the busy halls wondering how on earth she was going to find Heero in this mess. Then she was at the escalators. Nervously she climbed on one and it took her down several floors. Deirdre felt as if she'd left her stomach on the floor above. What would she do if he wasn't there? What if everyone was right? She almost groaned audibly.

Hesitantly, she stepped off and stood amongst the great hustle and bustle of the people around her. She felt tiny, lost, and most of all, invisible in this huge crowd. As she frantically looked around, she saw him. Deirdre couldn't believe that she'd missed him when she first got down there. He was standing, looking up at the various escalators, watching for her descent. His back was too her, but she recognized the denim jacket and messy, uncared-for hair. She swallowed hard and took a step.

Just then he turned and saw her. And he smiled. Deirdre felt the dread, and the fright, melt away. Everything would be fine. This was Heero. He would protect her. She was safe.

"You sure you don't want me coming with you?" Huy asked as Tai threw on his jacket and grabbed the car keys.

"I'll be fine. And as I said before, We'll have a lot to talk about. But thanks. Have fun with Kieko."

As Tai left his brother there, he still could feel the hurt and tension in the air. He could feel his stomach in knots over the distrust he was cultivating in his brother. Tai hadn't expected to be affected in such a way, but he was. It was probably hurting him more than it did Huy when he did not talk.

But he just couldn't tell Huy, not yet. Even though Huy was a blabbermouth, he did keep secrets when it truly mattered, so it wasn't that Tai couldn't trust Huy. It was more, Tai didn't trust himself. Everything was jumbled together. He just did not want to risk Relena's safety. 

He walked calmly to the car in the student parking and popped open the lock. As he turned the ignition, Huy's loud, banging music rocketed from the speakers. Tai quickly switched it off. He didn't feel like having the bass rocket his stomach around. Why couldn't he just forget about protecting her five minutes and tell Huy, and quit worrying about all this crap!

Tai shook his head visibly, trying to empty his mind out and put in a new CD. The softer, quieter music helped to sooth him, but he wouldn't feel better until he could explain things to Huy. That wouldn't be for a while though.

He parked at the shuttle port and walked calmly in. He hoped that Relena hadn't changed too much. Then he smirked. No, he'd be able to recognize her no matter what.

He arrived at their scheduled meeting place, but he didn't see her coming down the escalators. Tai meandered around a little, he was ten minutes early after all. When he cycled back around, and glanced up at the top of the escalators, he turned and noticed a girl standing alone, looking around blankly.

She had shoulder length deep red, almost auburn hair tied back in low pony-tail, a few whisps falling out, and large green eyes giving her a dark, owlish, very little girlish look against her pale face. She looked very lost and innocent standing there. Tai turned too the escalators again when he felt the girl's eyes on him. He turned and she took a step towards him.

Tai smirked at his own blindness and smiled at the petite girl. Her pale face flushed in response. He walked over to meet her and he noticed some of the fright and aloofness in her eyes seemed to have disappeared. "Deirdre. You look well," he told her as he took her bag from her surprised hands.

"Thank you" she said softly, looking shyly at her shoes. She laughed nervously then smiled at him boldly. It was a familiar series of little mannerisms when she was acting as a civilian. But put her in an office, and she'd never seem the meek little girl.

"I'm parked this way," Tai told her, motioning her to follow him. She skipped quickly to get in step with him. "How was your flight?" he asked conversationally.

"Oh, fine. My neighbors were all quiet so I got lots of sleep in." She smiled at him. "How are you?"

"Fine. Just finished a test a few hours ago. How did yours go?"

"Okay"

He unlocked the car and put Deirdre's bag into the back seat and turned to unlock her door for her. As soon as they climbed in he stopped and laughed. Deirdre looked at him with her deer eyes. "What's so funny?"

He shook his head in amusement. "Just thisthis entire situation." He climbed in and continued, "Both of us political refugees hiding away in a normal life under pseudonyms. It's justfunny."

"I see what you mean. Very ironic," Deirdre agreed. "But your name is real, isn't it?"

Tai nodded as he started the car and back out, taking them to the freeway.

"So, are you going to tell me what's going on with you now that you aren't Heero Yuy, while we're alone so I don't make a mistake?" Deirdre pressed.

"Yah. I already told you part of the reason why I didn't tell anyone that I was alive."

"Only part?" Deirdre queried.

"Yah."

"So what's the other part' that you haven't told me?"

"Family."

Deirdre cocked an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't have a past," she told him.

"I don't, didn't. After the war I decided I should try to be normal. I went to the most logical place–a colony for war orphans. But it fell apart and all the students were shipped out. I was taken to the high school where I roomed with Huy Iwasato. We got in some pretty big messes and in the end I was diagnosed with leukemia and needed a bone marrow transplant. That's when Huy was tested, found to be a positive match, and so I lived. I also found out that, years ago, the Iwasato family were escaping from a colony uprising and lost one of their children in the crowd–Huy's identical twin Tai. A DNA match was done, and now I have a mother, father, two sisters and two brothers." Here Tai paused to turn onto the busy freeway and used the break in conversation reorganize his thoughts. He wanted to explain this correctly. Deirdre just sat politely listening, waiting for him to continue.

"That, family, created a new problem. If I retained any part of Heero Yuy they may have been endangered. So I just let everyone believe I was dead and moved on with my life. Since then I've been with my family and going to school." He paused again to glance at her face. She looked mildly surprised, but not extremely so. 

"I'm sorry Deirdre that I hurt you all so much, but I knew that you all would be fine, and I honestly did not realize that anyone cared that much. But I made a choice to be normal and have a family and a life, so I had to shed Heero Yuy and everything that was connected to him."

At first she looked at him sternly, but then broke into a large smile. "Taiyou are kind."

Tai wasn't sure how to respond so he didn't. Instead he continued to explain the situation. "No one knows who you really are. I haven't told Huy anything. I wasn't sure what you'd want told. I'm not even sure of what you are doing or why."

Deirdre smiled at him again. "I guess it's my turn for confessions now. I started to go crazy. It's as simple as that. Between everything that was going on, I started to come unscrewed. Noin suggested that I go to college, get a degree and training for my job instead of figuring it out as I go. She also implied that I could have time to grow up and mature while away. So I did. And I'm very happy. Some times I almost dread going back. But then I see the stupid decisions people make and realize that I could still do a lot of good, helping to preserve peace."

"You are still sure of total pacifism, huh?"

"Yes. In fact, more so than ever. People argue all the time but they only fight when they are out of control. And if you only fight when you are not in control, then it's no wonder so many innocents get hurt. No, it's just better to abstain from all fights."

Tai smiled. He was glad. This was exactly as she should be, and she'd need all that conviction and more to carry on this path she'd chosen for herself. But to the important question at hand "So what shall I tell my brother?"

"Tell him I'm an old friend that you used to go to school with. That's all."

Tai nodded. "That's about what I've told him thus far anyway."

Deirdre smiled but then felt a strange silence settle. It wasn't exactly uncomfortable, but just odd. She looked out the window at the cosmopolitan area, lots of skyscrapers and ghetto housing subdivisions–typical. 

It dawned on Deirdre that she and "Tai" had never really _talked_ before. They had spoken, but never like friends would. It was always about the war, peace, or just another of Tai's death threats. And now she realized, she did not know how to talk to him, not as a normal, friendly person. He had changed so much and friendly conversation seemed to be possible with him now, whereas was inconceivable before. But at the same time, where to begin? Soyou remember that time you tried to kill me and Duo shot you? Or how about, what was your childhood like–being trained as an assassin and all? Wonderful, just beautiful conversation starters. That would be a perfect way to start a friendship. 

Yet, Deirdre couldn't just sit here in silence–they couldn't spend these few days in silence. And surely he had noticed this little issue–did it bother him even a little?

She watched him quietly. His eyes were focused on the road and his strong jaw set. It was a facial posture that gave nothing away, so she could not venture to guess what he was thinking right now. But she allowed herself to remember him as a teenager–he had lost some roundness to his face. And he looked stronger, not so tiny and almost scrawny as he'd been before. Before, she'd always harbored a secret worry that he'd break. He was always so thin, and he'd lost some of the haunted look in his eyes. Had he been sick that entire time? When had the mutated cells begun to eat him away from inside out? Would it ever come back? Was he safe? 

Deirdre had a sudden urge to hug him. She didn't want him to die. He'd lived such a hard life, and had lost so much, but had also done so much for peace, for the people. It wasn't fair to say that she had brought about peace, it was really people like Tai and her brother who could see so far ahead. He deserved to reap the benefits of his hard work. He deserved to be happy. She hoped that nothing that horrible would happen. But there would be nothing she could do to stop it if it did.

Finally, she decided on a topic. "So what are you majoring in?"

"Neuroscience. I'm applying to medical schools now."

Deirdre was a little surprised. "Why did you decided to be a doctor?"

Tai shrugged. "I figure I've spent enough time destroying lives. It's about time I start trying to repair them."

"Oh." Well, this was a little awkwardbut she continued on. "What kind of doctor do you want to be?" Deirdre wasn't sure she liked the way this conversation was going.

"I don't know." There was a moment of silence but then Tai returned the question.

"Double major of political science and economics, minor in modern history. I thought it the most useful," Deirdre explained.

Tai nodded, but then the conversation ended again. Deirdre decided it was his turn to speak first.

They turned up a little street and drove through a sub-division until they reached a place lined with apartment buildings and neat little rows of trees. "This is where Huy's fiancée, Kieko, lives with her roommate Julie. I thought we'd drop your stuff off there first. I'm guessing that everyone will be over there right now anyway so you can meet them," Tai told her as he parked in front of one building.

Deirdre leaned over to look more carefully around. The buildings were newer than the ones at her college, but they were smaller. The buildings were all flat and square, red brick in the front, but around the back, Deirdre could see that they were lined with railings and numbered doors. Some had hanging potted plants in front; others had "Welcome" doormats. 

Tai turned off the car and grabbed Deirdre's bag from the back seat, locked his door, then came around and locked hers after she got out. They walked quietly up a set of stairs to a door on the opposite corner, and knocked.

"Julie!! Julie!!" Kieko was screaming frantically.

"What, what! I'm here!" Julie came sprinting in.

"Did you say you cleaned the bathroom?" Kieko asked meekly.

Julie rolled her eyes heavily. "YES," she said emphatically. "YES. And I cleaned my room, and I scraped the little bit of hard water from between my toothbrush bristles too, as I'm so SURE that this girl will be mortally offended if we, who are doing HER the FAVOR, are not perfectly clean." Julie was getting very testy. Kieko reminded her of her mother whenever visitors came.

"But Tai did say that she was really clean and organized and"

"He was saying that to assure us that she wouldn't be a bother! Not that she'd be annoyed by us!"

"She's right babe. Just chill out! I'm sure if this girl can put up with Tai, heck, even _likes_ him, that she'll be fine with this place," Huy butted in. He didn't think it would be good to have any cat-fights right now.

"DON"T call me BABE!!!" Kieko yelled as she grabbed Huy by his collar.

Huy just laughed and patted her on the head. Kieko glared at him again. Then, simultaneously, they tried to fling each other out the door–the apartment was too small to fight in.

The front door flew open and in a moment Huy was flat on his back with Kieko straddling his stomach and shaking him. They were both laughing. "You moron! Don't call me babe!!!" but she was choking on her words between the laughs.

"But it's so cu-ute!" Huy whined.

"You two are frightening me," a monotone voice from a ways above them said flatly.

The both stopped and looked up abruptly. "TAI!" Kieko clumsily slid off of Huy and they both stood up. 

"Hey-ey! So you ARE the girl I ran into that night! How's it hangin'! I'm Huy." Huy held his hand out to the small redhead standing meekly beside Tai.

She smiled softly. "I'm very well. And you?"

Kieko looked over this girl carefully, then at Tai. This was not the girl she'd pictured. Kieko had thought she might be very strong, if not loud and obnoxious because she would have had to put up with all of Tai's frustrating behavior. Well, at least how he used to act. Now he was very easy to be with and an all around nice guy, despite how hard it was to actually get close to him, but from what Huy had told her, he used to be a pain. And if this girl had known him before Huy had met him

She was so tiny and quiet. Well, not exactly quiet, morereserved. She was pretty in a little girl type of way but somehow something about her appearance was unnatural. Kieko supposed that Deirdre dyed her hair–a lot of people did. That had to be it. Her eyes were large and gave the impression of openness, but even so, they looked so guarded to Kieko.

Kieko watched as the unmoved, ever cheerful and goofy numbskull she often claimed as her own walked the quiet girl into the apartment, chatting like a chipmunk. Tai was politely waiting for her to walk in before him. They walked in and Kieko called Julie, who came sidling out. Her ferocious temper had dissolved and she was looking shyly at Deirdre–her competition. Julie still liked Tai, A LOT, but she was doing well to hide it. However, just now, it was more apparent than ever. Kieko felt her heart bleeding for Julie.

Deirdre was polite and unobtrusive. They all cooked dinner together and the entire time, Deirdre was the model of poise and elegance. She thanked the girls profusely for allowing her to stay with them. Of course they shook it off and said, make nothing of it.

But every time Kieko looked at Julie, she wanted to cry. That was because it was obvious how Tai felt about this demure girl. Every move she made, he watched. When she walked out of the room, his eyes followed. When she laughed, he was smiling. When she began to look around for something, it was already in his hand for her, as if he'd read her mind and knew what she needed.

Kieko sent a significant look at her fiancé, and she could tell that he'd noticed too. And Huy did not know what to make of it. The entire week before Tai had insisted that there was nothing between he and Deirdre, but even in the first hour, it was painfully apparent. It was too bad that Julie had to see it.

It was odd, though. Deirdre and Tai never spoke to each other. They smiled and looked at each other, but they seemed incapable of speaking. The conversations were around the two, but not between them. Kieko was determined to understand who this girl was and what really was going on, because this entire time, she felt as if they were in another world, playing one role or another, but not really allowing the human in them out. Deirdre and Tai were just little dolls doing a little play, acting until the curtain fell and they could wipe off the make-up. Kieko shivered involuntarily and Huy rubbed her shoulder. He could feel it too.

Deirdre felt suddenly very shy around these people, good friends of Tai's. And it felt so awkward. Tai was polite, but he never spoke to her, but then, he didn't look angry that she was there. He was very helpful. And she couldn't help but notice the other girl, Julie, and the looks she gave Tai under her eyelashes. But Julie seemed unaware of her behavior.

Huy was a goofball–more so than Duo. Would Tai have been like that if not for the war?

But then Huy and Tai had to go home and so they all said goodnight. 

"Deidre," Kieko called to her. "Here's a pillow and blanket, and this couch folds out. You can just leave any toiletries in the bathroom. We cleaned off a shelf for you, and if you like, you can leave your bag in my room."

"Thank you." Deirdre felt like a porcelain doll.

Kieko smiled and Julie looked shy. Deirdre waited for the girls to go to bed and then shut herself in the bathroom. A shower felt nice and it soothed her. Tai had changed so much. Deirdre got along with him, but she couldn't figure out how to just be friends with him. It was all so confusing. The worst part was, she actually liked him. 

Before the trip, she acknowledged her feelings for him, but had hoped that meeting him again, they would hadlessened somehow. But it wasn't the case.

Deirdre had needed his support before, now she was...she couldn't even afford to let herself THINK the words. She sank to her knees and wept.

Kieko tossed and turned, but she couldn't get to sleep. She could hear Deirdre in the shower. Then the water stopped for a while. Teeth were brushed. The usual. Then the shower went back on.

Kieko shot up from her bed. She knew what that meant. She'd pulled that same trick for years as a teenager. Kieko sat up, wide-awake now, waiting for Deirdre to leave the bathroom. After a short while she did, and Kieko forced herself to wait a little longer. Then she got up to go to the kitchen, quickly forming an excuse in her head.

"Deirdre! You're still up!" Kieko said cheerfully as she got a glass of water.

Deirdre sat bundled up in the sofa-bed with a large book on some political stuff that would undoubtedly bore Kieko to death. "I can't sleep. I never can in a new place, but I'll sleep too well tomorrow!" Deirdre smiled.

"Mind if I join you?"

Deirdre shook her head and scooted over a little bit.

Kieko sipped at her water. "So what are you and Tai going to do tomorrow?"

"I'm not sure. We haven't talked at all about this week's activities."

"Well, I do have to say one thing. You've got that boy wrapped around your pinky finger. I don't know how you did it. I've known Tai two years and I've never seen anyone get him like you've got him," Kieko told her. And she nearly choked when she saw Deirdre's shocked face.

"Wha-what are you talking about? Tai doesn't think of me like that!" Deirdre's eyes were huge.

This was not the reaction Kieko had anticipated. "But it's so obvious! How could you not see! That boy cares so much for you, it's crazy! And, at least I thought, it was obvious that you felt the same to him." And to Kieko's surprise, Deirdre shook her head sadly.

"I'm afraid that you've got us all wrong. Tai and I aren't together. We never have been. We are justvery good friends. He has helped me very much in several ways. He gave me a reason tokeep trying."

"Bull. I don't buy that for a second. I can't believe that you can either. Are you honestly convincing yourself of that?" Kieko demanded. And so her surprise, the tiny girl smiled.

"You are right. Maybe friends' is not the proper way to describe us. I've always cared for Tai, but, all truth be told, I don't think that we were ever really friends in the conventional way. It was morethat we looked out for each other. I guess we still look out for each other, but its not needed in the same way. Now I'm not sure what to do."

"I'm still not buying it. I think that you are in love with Tai and that you need to admit it. And that retarded boy needs to admit that he's head over heels for you!" Kieko insisted.

Deirdre seemed to be reacting a little more violently now, her voice rock hard. "Don't put words in my mouth. You don't know what I'm feeling. You don't know who I am or anything about me. You have no right to pass judgement on us." Kieko's eyes grew huge and Deirdre gasped and slapped a hand over her mouth. "I'm so sorry! That just came out. I keep trying to control my tongue, but it just won't stop! I always get myself in troubleI'm so sorry! It's just that everyone's been giving me advice, and putting their two-cents worth in. I'm so tired of people thinking they understand the situation. But you weren't attacking us. I shouldn't have exploded."

Kieko's eyes relaxed into their normal position and she smiled, then laughed. "You know, when I first saw you I thought, there is no way that Tai would ever be attracted to this weak, meek, washed-out little girl. I can see that I was right, he wouldn't. You are no weak, meek, washed-out little girl after all. I hope we get to be good friends, especially if we're to be sisters-in-law some day," Kieko beamed at the dazed Deirdre. "Good night." And she went off to bed.

Deirdre sat up for a long time after Kieko had gone to bed. What was going on! This girl was accusing her of being in love with Tai, which she had no business doing as she'd just met the woman! And, not only that, she insists that Tai feels the same way, which was utterly ludicrous. Tai protected her, protected peace, and she in turn did her best to ensure that Tai would never have to kill again. That was her goal; that was the ideal she strove for up until now, and the ideal she would continue to strive for. She fought verbally so that Tai didn't have to fight physically. 

But there was just one problem in all of this. Kieko was right about one thing, Deirdre DID care some for Tai. As a teenager it had come in flashes, little bits and pieces, but once she recognized it for what it was, she could not deny it. Yet, she'd never dared call it full-blown love. But after meshing her thoughts together tonight and cranking out a logical conclusion, she wondered if it might just be love.

Deirdre mentally slapped herself. This did not change anything because Kieko's thoughts about him liking where were false. They had to be. Tai was simply protecting her; that's why he was attentive. And everyone was interpreting it as attraction. If only she could make them understandit hurt so much to have them thinking the one thing she honestly wished for.

She flopped down heavily on the pillows. But this just made things more difficult. How was she going to face him this entire week now that she did not have strictly platonic feelings for him? What was she going to do?

Deirdre could feel the gray hairs sprouting from her head this very minute. 

"Stupid boys" Deirdre whispered to no one in particular, and buried her face in her very large text book.

But several other people lay awake that night. Julie stared up at her ceiling, trying to rationalize her feelings away. And Huy cursed his brother's silence. Tai was just plain confused and sad and aggravated. He wasn't giving Deirdre a second thought–just upset about his brother.

Tai clenched his fist under his pillow. This entire situation was utterly moronic. This little thing was totally screwing up he and Huy's relationship, and family mattered more than anything else in the world–right? But more than peace? 

That was when a very troubling and totally new, random thought pranced through his head. Why was he allowing this girl to come between he and his brother? If his brother was the most important thing in the world to him, the most precious, how come this simple little thing could separate them? He could just send Deirdre away or break her confidence if Huy was truly more important. So why couldn't he do it?

Peace. Tai remembered now. Political unrest was beginning to resurface. And Relena would be needed to help. But as long as she was parading around as Deirdre, she could be in danger and she must survive to come back and help guide the Earth Sphere and Colonies to normalcy. So how to make his brother realized this? There was no waynot until she went public. It was just too dangerous for her otherwise. He could risk himself, risk giving himself away because it was his life, but he could not do that with hers. So Huy would just have to trust him until then. 

Why did she have to be a girl though? Why couldn't she be some guy? Then he wouldn't have Huy accusing him of acting like a silly love-struck boy. ARG!

"Stupid girls" Tai whispered into his pillow.

"Did you say something?" Huy asked softly from across the room.

"No. I was justmuttering to myself."

Huy grunted and turned over in the dark.

Tai flopped impatiently on his back and glared at the blackness above him. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N 

//Author sits down, pen in hand, and begins to writing frantically. But there is one problem. Her characters cannot speak to each other. Author bangs Deirdre over the head. "_Speak woman!! Do your thing!"_

Deirdre: But what do I talk about? All he ever finds interesting is politics, and that's boring for a fictional story written by an uneducated and lazy author!

Author: I don't care! (puffs smoke out her ears, face very red, and beats her chest like Tarzan and ignores the insult to her own character) JustTALK!! (rubs now throbbing chestbad ideaa lot) Okay, Tai, meet Deirdre; Deirdre, meet Tai. Now you makes dumb small talk until you find a topic you both enjoy speaking about and carry on from there.

Deirdre: My name is Deirdre. I'm happy to meet you. What's yours?

Tai: (gives dumb stare/glare to both author and Deirdre) This is stupid.

Deirdre: No it's not. We are just starting over with our new identities. Be a good boy and play along.

Tai: Okay. I'm Tai. Pleasure.

(Deirdre and Tai stare blankly at each other.) 

Tai: What exactly was it we were supposed to do now?

(Author slams face into hands.)

Author: I can't believe this

But seriously, do you have any idea how difficult it is to make Relena and Heero talk?!?!?!?!?! Like normal people do? I mean, what do they talk about in the series? Peace, and peace, and umwell, more peace. Oh! A death threats! I forgot about all the "I will kill you"s. And Relena did a lot of yelling his name out to the wind. Arg.. How can you make people fall in love if they can't even talk to each other! And this is supposed to be a romance so it's not like I can just avoid it like last time! I meanI wasn't exactly AVOIDING romance so much as just(author blushes at the admittance of her own incompetence) Anyway! I'm having a lot of trouble with these chapters, so this could take a while. But I'm working on it!! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. And boy do I love them reviews!! Toodles for now, Tygerlilee


	8. Making Memories

Chapter Eight

Making Memories

"You know, she's not at all like I remember her, Tai. She was so bold andconfident and just different when I met her before. Maybe first impressions are always screwed up. It's just so weird that you'd be such good friends with a girl who's so meek. She's just asking to be run over!" Huy was randomly kicking rocks to the side of the path as he and Tai walked back to Kieko and Julie's apartment.

"She's not as passive and meek as she seemed to be. I think she was just a little shy. But you'll see soon enough that compared to her, I'm nothing." Tai breathed in the fresh morning air. It was a pretty, crisp morning. And nice day to be walking.

"What do you mean?" Huy cocked an eyebrow.

"Deirdre isstrong. She is the strong one, stronger than anyone." Huy was getting the feeling that Tai was talking about something else that had nothing to do with the conversation. But as they knocked on the door and Huy lost his opportunity to ask.

Julie's solemn face answered the door and let them in. Kieko was talking a mile a minute to anyone who happened to be listening while she blended what appeared to be all the leftovers in the fridge. Deirdre was glued to the television, watching a live viewing of some World Nation meeting.

"Huy!" Kieko threw her arms around his neck. He grinned sheepishly as she dragged him over to the messy kitchen to help her with breakfast. The sink was piled high with dishes and orange, green, and brown splattered the cupboards and microwave oven.

"I best be going now," Julie said softly as she left the room.

"Have a good day!" Kieko sang over Huy's shoulder. They were rather engrossed in each other at the moment.

Tai sat down silently beside Deirdre who hardly noticed she was so involved.

"WHAT!" she shrieked, jumping up. Huy and Kieko both looked over in surprise, but Tai hardly flinched. "What is the moron doing!! After all the work I did to get that stupid thing passed! And if allows weapons, mobile suits won't be far behind, and then we'll be back to square one! ARG!! This can't happen!" She buried her face in a couch pillow with an expression of utmost despair.

"Maybe that goes to show that if people want to fight, they will. The people have to bring about peace on their own. You cannot make them do it," Tai reasoned softly.

"But it's what the people want! And he should be representing the people, not his own prerogatives."

"He was elected because the people believed he most closely represented their ideas and would help them to gain what they want. So he is, in fact, fighting for what the people want."

"But how can they change so fast? That man is nothing but a power-hungry thief. Heero, I'm going to fight this. I'm going to stop it."

"Deirdre"

"Maybe I am delusional. Maybe I am a silly little girl. But I know what I believe and I am NOT backing down. Do you still disagree with me on this?" She looked to Tai with large, distressed eyes.

"I never disagreed with you. You may not do what I would do, but that doesn't mean that I don't agree. You are exactly as you should be, and I am as I should be. You are the one who dares to dream and act upon such ideals. You have good thoughts and act for the betterment of the people and their living conditions. But at the same time you are a little naïve about the means to your preferred end." Tai was looking directly at her now, into her eyes. It unnerved Deirdre a little when he looked at her like that, as if he could see her doubt and worries, straight to her soul. And if anyone knew those thoughts, they would lose faith in herto see her weaknesses. But at the same time it was comforting. She liked knowing the he knew about her. That she was human. But only him.

"Then what do you propose I do?" 

"Keep trying and working for what you believe. You have convinced so many people to go along with it, with you. You must keep the faith and move on, keep convincing more people so that they will follow you and act on those beliefs. Until the day comes when the majority of the world puts down weapons of their own accord, there will bedisturbances."

Deirdre laughed. "I guess that's what I do. That's all I do."

"No, you do much more than you can ever know," Tai said quietly. "And I think it would be better if you tried to remember to call me Tai, not Heero."

Deirdre gasped and slapped a hand over her mouth. "Did I call you Heero?" She looked over to see Kieko and Huy standing there, watching the exchange with amusement. Deirdre bit her lip nervously.

"It's fine here. They know what I was, but Julie does not," Tai comforted. Deirdre nodded. "Well then, I think we have a busy week ahead of us."

Duo yawned widely at the computer screen. Hilde was shopping with friends so Duo thought he'd work a little over time on the company's budget. It was a mess of receipts and scratch paper and order forms. The in-box was near falling over, completely hiding the sadly empty out-box. He'd been working steadily for two hoursbut he hadn't even made a dent in all the paper work.

Grabbing a bundle of papers, he hit his head on the desk, swore passionately, shook a mass of papers, and rather quickly found himself flat on the floor covered with papers and random data CDs. Then his computer beeped. A message.

"Grr" He propped himself up on his elbows and scooted out from under the mess. Flopping into the chair he clicked the screen open. "If you're a tax-man, selling anything, or a friend of Hilde's attempting to steal her away from me again I don't wanna talk!" Duo declared desperately.

"Well, as I'm none of those, so I guess I'm allowed!"

Duo blinked. The blond hair was almost blinding him. "Hey Quatre! How's it hangin'?" He started thinking fastQuatre was a businessman, maybe he could help with this dumb tax auditing.

"I'm well. And you? And Hilde?"

"Fine."

"Well, I just wanted to ask you a few questions about Heero."

Duo couldn't help but inwardly groan. Everyone and his dog had been calling him to ask about Heero and his alleged death as no one knew his number, but Duo had given it to Quatrewhy was he calling? 

"What da' ya' wanna know?" he sighed good-naturedly. At least Quatre was polite, not screaming at him as Wufei tended to. Actually, he hadn't screamed, just talked very slowly and loudly. Hilde had thought a helicopter was landing near by when he called.

"Well, I don't really want to know anything about him exactly. I just wanted to tell you we are meeting at Christmas. Mostly so that we can all see Heero again. We were thinking maybe the weekend before Christmas on L-4. I can arrange a private place so that we don't all attract too much attention."

"Hm. Sounds good. Heero can stand up for himself then. Who all's coming?" Duo asked, scratching an itchy spot on his nose.

"So far, Trowa, Wufei, Zechs and Noin, Sally, and myself. Hopefully you too. I wanted to bring Relena as well so that she'd know about everything, but Zechs is pretty adamant that she be left out of this, at least until she resumes her position as Vice-Foreign Minister."

Duo laughed. "Well, he's a little late for that"

"What do you mean?"

"Uh" Crap! He always got himself into these messes. "I was just thinking that Relena would probably find out through the grapevine. It always happens!" Duo said as cheerfully as he could to mask his nervous laughter. Quatre nodded in agreement. Duo breathed again, he hadn't noticed. Heero probably wouldn't want everyone to know about he and Relena's little visit this week.

"Hey, man, do you think you can get Wufei to chill with his whole justice' routine. He's been yelling at me about Heero for a month now!"

Quatre sighed. "That's because I'm the only other one with his number and Wufei knows I won't give it to him. He probably thinks you'll be easier to manipulate into giving it to him."

"Man, I ought to give it to him. I shouldn't take all this crap for Heero. I'm about deaf from it all" Duo muttered as he wiggled a finger in his ear for emphasis.

"Well, I don't think he should have to worry about this while he's in school. I think that if Wufei needs to speak with him, he can wait till Christmas. I just think he's angry because Heero acted selfishly and injured Relena. Despite everything, Wufei has great respect for Relena, albeit her sex. He has nearly admitted that she's a strong person."

"Wow." Duo sat forward towards his screen. Then he switched the subject back to Christmas. "So we meet at L-4?"

"I'll send you the address once it's finalized."

"Do you think Zechs will murder Heero?"

"No." Quatre's voice was light as ever. They could have been talking about picking flowers, never mind an extremely messy situation. He was always calm and cheerful. "I think that Zechs respects Heero for his skills and wishes dearly for a logical explanation from him. Everyone wants to believe that he didn't do this for selfish reasons. Everyone wants to believe that it was necessary–nobody likes to lose respect for a friend. That's why Wufei yells at you for his number. He wants to see that his respect and trust has not been misplaced."

Duo nodded. "That's a first--Wufei makes some sense. Okay then. I'll wait for your email!"

"Okay. Good-bye Duo. Take care of Hilde!"

"I will!" And the screen went blank. Duo sighed and rubbed his face. He figured he'd have to stand up for Heero at Christmas too. But man, it would be so much more difficult having to face everyone then. He hoped, for Heero's sake, that he had a good explanation ready by that time.

Tai sat silently on a bench in the mall next to his brother. Kieko and Deirdre were in the dressing room with about ten out-fits each to try on. Kieko would come prancing out to model confidently in front of her fiancé, dragging the shy, blushing red-head behind her.

"What do you think?" Kieko asked, attempting a pose of grace, batting her eyes, hoping she looked alluring. Huy stifled a giggle. Tai smirked. She had failed. Kieko supposed red leather pedal pushers with a gothic, fish net shirt, orange boa and pink heels just didn't cut it. "You know, I'm going to make you laugh, Tai Iwasato, if it's the last thing I do." She punctuated each word with a little jab of a stuffed snake she'd picked up from the shelf behind the boys. 

"What about making me laugh?" Huy whined, sticking out his lower lip.

"I could look at YOU cross-eyed and you'd giggle yourself breathless. You don't need it. Tai, on the other hand, needs steroids pumped into his facial muscles, as they seemed to have atrophied. Either that or have the rod surgically removed from his rear!" If Kieko was anything, she was fearless.

Deirdre stood behind her, blushing furiously in her pink baggy T-shirt, orange denim bell-bottoms, and fuzzy slippers. "Come on, Deirdre! We have a mission!" Kieko announced loudly and dragged the girl back into the dressing rooms. "He will laugh!"

As soon as the girls disappeared, Huy caught Tai's eye and they both let out a little snort. "Man, I was starting to think Kieko couldn't surprise me any more! But something about Deirdre just seems to make her even more goofy."

"I don't see how."

"Deirdre's pretty bold, especially around you. She's one of the few people I've met who dare to argue with you. It encourages Kieko. Except Deirdre doesn't seem to like this too much."

"She's bold in many ways, but not this one. She's notsilly," Tai said slowly, mulling it over in his mind, attempting to put the appropriate words where they belonged.

"And so you think Kieko is silly?" Huy asked, a note of offence hanging in the air.

"She's marrying you. That should be proof enough."

Before Huy could answer Kieko jumped out in a fuzzy, leopard spotted tank-top and denim shorts with neon green and yellow striped thigh highs and pink, plastic platform shoes, and a large gold chain tied around her waist. "What do you think?" she asked enthusiastically.

"Beautiful. Just beautiful," Huy said, smoothing his laughter.

"Like a twelve-year old slut on acid," Tai told her, a slight grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Wait till you see Deirdre!" Kieko seemed pleased with Tai's reaction. Deirdre gave yelp behind the door as the Japanese girl tried to pull her out. "Come on! Don't be shy!"

The boys could see Deirdre's hands around the edge of the wall fighting. "I'm not coming out in _this_!" Her voice was soft and utterly mortified. 

"Don't be silly!" Kieko gave a final push and Deirdre stumbled out, nearly toppling over Huy's lap. She struggled for balance and looked down at her feet. Huy raised an eyebrow at her red sneakers tied with white lace, knee-length purple and blue striped skirt, white and red polka dotted shirt with full sweeping sleeves, and three pounds of Mardis Gras jewelry.

"The colors are okay, but not exactly your style, huh?" Huy joked.

But Deirdre wasn't listening to him. She was trying to figure out how to get past Kieko to change.

Everyone was laughing as they walked out of the store, the attendants giving them odd stares and customers rolling their eyes. "So what are we gonna do for dinner?" Huy asked enthusiastically.

"Can't you keep your mind off of food for ten minutes Huy?" Kieko asked, affectionately clinging to his hand. Tai and Deirdre walked comfortably side by side.

"Oh come one. I didn't ask once while we were in that store."

"That's because he was too busy laughing at you two prancing around," Tai said dryly.

"But you thought it was funny too, didn't you?" Kieko asked eagerly.

"Not particularly. But whatever keeps you busy and entertained"

"But you did smile once or twice," Deirdre added timidly. She was starting to shake off the embarrassment. She could get up and give impromptu speeches in front of millions and on camera, she could stand up to her brother in the face of war, argue debates, analyze situations and decide the best course of action within seconds during a political crisis. But she could not act like a silly, fluffy girl, she could not boldly play act or pretend to be a silly little girl. She just couldn't. It was totally out of character for her to be silly. She had a sense of humor, but it was very dry. And she was very serious. Probably too serious for her age. 

"I'm hungry!" Huy declared again for all the world to know.

"Okay, okay. I say we make something," Kieko decided. "It's more fun than going out." 

Huy and Tai looked nervously at each other, but told her that sounded fine. "What's with the faces?" Deirdre asked Tai quietly, surprised at their hesitancy.

"Kieko's determined to learn to cook before they get married. It can beinteresting," he warned her.

"Surely it can't be that bad" Deirdre said thoughtfully.

Three hours later Deirdre was fanning smoke out the door, Huy was attempting to turn off the fire alarm, Tai was pouring baking soda on the small grease fire, and Kieko was shrieking like a banshee. Tai had once thought Kieko was a claming force for Huy's exuberance. Now he was beginning to wonder if it was the other way around. Or else she was being extra goofy to put Deirdre at ease. He hoped it was the latter and not the former.

They worked on scrubbing the messy kitchen and sat down for a "peaceful dinner", followed by a massive operation to do the dishes, consisting of Tai washing, Huy rinsing, Deirdre drying, and Kieko putting away. Somewhere in the mass chaos, Huy managed to get the sink attachment and squirted Tai down, who countered with soap suds, in which Kieko fell in the line of fire and got the full brunt of it. She stole Deirdre's wet towel and chased after Tai, who hid behind Deirdre, laughing as if he did it all the time.

As Deirdre stood still among the laughing and chasing of the brothers and Kieko, she stared at Tai's laughing smiling face. And tears started to form.

She wiped hastily at her face and sat on the cupboard out of harm's way, watching. And her heart was warmed as it hadn't been for years, since she caught Heero–Tai–in her arms as he attempted to shoot Marimeia. He could laugh. 

Perhaps renting a romance wasn't the best idea, Huy thought as he looked over at his brother who seemed to be drifting off to sleep. What surprised him was that Deirdre also appeared to be zoning out while Kieko was practically breathless with excitement, she was so involved. Weren't girls supposed to love these types of movies? Keiko did. All his sisters and mother did. What was with this girl anyway? She defied all sets of feminine rules! She couldn't do that. It wasn't fair. It confused him.

But Tai wasn't as asleep as he appeared. He was zoning out–romances weren't exactly his genre, but Kieko had insisted that it was a wonderful movie and Deirdre seemed up for the idea so he had gone along with it. Huy didn't count anymore. He might as well have been an extension of Kieko, sprouting from her hip. They were sprawled all over each other leaning against the floor with pillows and blankets. The funniest part was, albeit the position they were in and the assumptions one would make, they were behaving perfectly. But that was probably just because of Kieko's engrossment in the movie. Huy, on the other hand, was looking around like a five year-old that was sick of sitting still for way too long.

The annoying, whiny girl in the movie started moaning about some tragic star-crossed love-er-other. Tai wasn't paying attention. He'd been dragged to the mall, to the grocery store, the ordeal at dinner, and now this. He just wanted to sleep. It was supposed to be a break for him. But it was already Wednesday.

Deirdre made a little noise beside him and her head flopped onto his shoulder. She seemed almost asleep. Tai looked over at her nervously. He felt like he was having an out-of-body experience. A girl, a very nice girl, was dozing on his shoulder. She looked so innocent and fragile with her pale face and long lashes flush against her skin, eyes closed. The overwhelming urge to wrap her in a protective hug appeared unbidden from the abyss of his mind. She was a tiny girl–how could she have helped to lead the fate of the world and all who lived? This slip of human girl, how did she do it? But then, how could he kill and fight as he had? They both defied expectations of teenagers. And they lived to see this day.

Somehow he couldn't help but watch her sleeping face. Memories unbidden which usually only haunted him in his dreams flooded in. So muchtoo much had happened, destroyed their childhoods. He had never played or romped as a child should and she had learned all to quickly the pain of betrayal and loss. He often wondered if he couldn't kill her all those years ago at that stupid dance because she seemedhe hesitated to think such a thing, but perhaps it was because she seemed so like him. Life was full of twists and turns, and this girl who should have been dancing down a sunlit path through life found herself instead alone and scared. She lost her father to a cruel assassination and at the same time discovered her life had always been a lie.

True, she still had her adoptive mother, but at the same time, she'd never be so innocent again. Then she had boldly walked into her fate, arms open. Vulnerable. And that's why he chose to protect her.

A strand of hair fell across her face and he delicately pushed it back. She smiled in her sleep as his hand brushed her face, and a strange shock of feeling penetrated his chest, a constriction of breath, which he'd never felt before. It was almost painful to watch her porcelain face. How could she stand to lay her by his side when she knew better than any other person who he was, what he'd done, and what he was still capable of. How? She who seemed almost ethereal lying there, with a perfect love of her people, and the gift of forgiveness, yet so annoyingly stubborn. But it wasn't stubbornness, it was more, conviction and strength. Tai cursed himself. He couldn't think of a single bad thing about her, and he needed to think of something so he could stop this tumult of thoughts drowning out all of his senses. What was this?

She snuggled a little closer on his shoulder and started to fall forward. Tai didn't mean to do it. It was automatic. He didn't think at all about it and he knew that he couldn't have prevented it if he were in this same position again.

Her little body started to fall forward, so he gently held her shoulder from behind, pulling her head forward onto his chest, where she rested. She sighed softly and curled her legs up behind her on the couch, his arm still around her shoulders.

Tai looked up, horrified to see Huy looking at him and grinning ear-to-ear. Tai could feel his stomach churning. He knew exactly what this looked like to his brother. He did the only think he could think of. Glare back and hope to pull together what little dignity he might still have when Deirdre woke up.

So he sat there, as far over on the end of the couch as he could get, a beautiful girl leaning on his chest, arm around her shoulder, watching a chick-flick. Perfect. Just perfect.

He looked over at his brother again. He had a camera. Tai felt his heart drop. He looked down at Deirdre, then at his brother again. There was no way he could get out of this without flinging the girl to the ground and running. 

He sat down to flip through the manila folders of his recent cases that needed to be filed away. A couple confiscations, a few high-jackings. Nothing really unusual at work as of late. Between all the new laws and guidelines and Lady Une's work, things were more peaceful than usual. But with the political unrest developing, Wufei figured that he'd better enjoy his respite while he still could.

Then he picked up an older folder. The stained, lined manila card-stock was stuffed full and he sat down to lay them neatly back into it, so that it would be easier to file. He flipped through several pictures, but then one made him stop. A boy, a teenager, with an innocent, pale face. He was terrified. He had never known war or death. A child still. And yet he looked just like his antithesis–the Gundam pilot. 

__

Is this what you would have been like, Heero, if not for the war? Wufei wondered. The boy had severe bleeding wounds, but the worst were seen in his large, dark eyes. They shouldn't have had to see all of this, innocents who knew nothing of fighting. They were weak, but only because they never had to be strong, and they could not be faulted for that.

But during the Marimeia incident, Wufei had grudgingly admitted the Heero was strong. He'd begun to have faith in his fellow pilot. But then it fell apart. This man showed himself to be weak just like everyone else, even though he should have been strong. He'd been forced to become strong. But he fell. He couldn't take life as it was and ended it. He was too weak to admit that a disease had nearly killed him, and hidden away. He was too weak to keep on as the Gundam Pilot he'd been and attempt to atone for his wrongs. He was a coward. And he would have to answer for it. Justice was always satisfied.

"Darn it, Yuy. I wanted to fight you again. But you aren't worth it anymore if you can't even face the consequences of your past actions," he whispered to the photo of the boy who was not Heero. There were few people worth having as idols, in Wufei's opinion. Few people to follow, that you could trust to make good decisions. Few people who changed your life and taught you ways to live. His long past wife had been the second of such people, second after his teacher and mentor of his childhood who'd instilled his desire for learning. After that, Treize, in a twisted back-wards sort of way. Then as much as he hated to admit it, Relena Darlian and Heero Yuy. Relena was the strongest person he had seen. She had declared her ideals and never swayed from them. She had hidden herself away, but everyone knew she was coming back. She hadn't left anything uncared for before her departure into the world, where God only knew she'd gotten too. Yuy had shown him many things as well–his fight with Zechs, defeating the White Fang, and during the Marimeia incident. Yuy's words had lodged themselves deep within him. 

And now he had fallen from grace. And that hurt worse than anything. Yuy would pay for that loss of faith. He would pay.

Sally walked in and Wufei pretended not to notice as he finished putting the file in order. 

She sat down heavily in front of him. "We have another mission. A maniac in L-8 is trying to build a warhead production plant."

Wufei nodded. It would be beginning again. He hoped that Relena would be ready to stop all this the moment she came back. They would need all her strength. Too many whispers, too many arguments. The government head was weakening without a uniting force and small, money grabbing and power-hungry factions were forming. The Preventors were working hard against them, but still, it was difficult to locate them all and stamp them out before they could start to fight. 

Wufei could see the pattern. Weakened government unable to control things, greedy people form factions. They fight against each other, absorbing each other's power and money as they defeat another until finally there are two or three very strong ones. And then those have to power to start a war. Wufei never wanted to see a war again. It was ugly. They needed Relena Darlian, and soon. Couldn't she graduate a semester early and come back?

Well, if he had too, he'd become the devil himself once more to show the people how stupid they were. The only problem was, it was futile because he'd just have to do it again a few years later. And when he was gone, someone else would have to fill the role. History and human nature were cruel things.

Deirdre settled herself into her shuttle seat with a sigh. She was tired, achy. She hadn't had a good nights sleep in a week! The woman beside her was chatting away, and Deirdre pretended to be interested. But then the stewards passed around drinks and the woman knocked herself out with about ten gallons of liquor. And Deirdre could quietly watch the stars out the window. She was not nearly so nervous about this departure, not as she had been coming.

It had been such a strange week. First she'd been terrified, then comforted when she saw the young man who'd been confused for so long, but now was much happier. What she saw in him now was what she'd seen only in his eyes on a few occasions several years ago. And Deirdre rejoiced in it. His kindness and strength shone forth. His knowledge of people and how they operate, his wisdom and reserve. There were so many things in him Deirdre admired and respected, things that she'd barely seen before, but now were abundantly clear to any who met him. He'd made much progress. 

Before it wasn't that he was silent, but rather hostile, en gaurde. He presented one face to protect himself. And when he had something to say, he said it how he felt like saying it to whomever he wanted to. It didn't matter if he was yelling at Treize, gun in hand, or a crazed Quatre in his Gundam. He spoke his mind if he wanted to.

Deirdre supposed she was like that too–okay, she was like that a lot, but some how different. And now he was different. He was morefriendly. That was the only way to describe it. He was kind and friendly.

Involuntarily, a smile played across her lips as she gazed into the blackness. Huy and Kieko were so goofy. Mostly the four of them, she, Tai, Huy, and Kieko had hung out together, going places, watching movies. She'd fallen asleep on Tai's shoulder and Huy took a picture. Tai about killed him. She remembered being so sleepy and comfortable, she couldn't help it. She just dozed on his shoulder, then she woke up to seeing him glaring at an evilly cackling Huy, camera in hand. But then, he'd had his arm securely around her shoulders, even then. That made her smile.

And playing two on two laser tag or spades and hearts. It had been very relaxed acting as a normal twenty-one year old would. Then she remembered their last conversation. It flooded back into her mind.

Tai had shown up at Kieko's apartment and asked her to take a walk with him. Alone. She'd been confused because never before had the tried to be alone with her. Kieko and Huy had tried to force them into a situation where they'd be alone, but Tai had never made any move toward it. But she'd gone with him, without question. His face was so serious, but then again, it usually was. 

They had walked side by side quietly down the street, past some housing subdivisions and little stores randomly situated among the houses. That was the way with them, she and Tai. They did not need to speak. It was enough for her to just be by his side. That's all she wanted, just like Noin. Noin had told her once, years ago, that she just wanted to by her brother's side. Nothing more. It was enough to see him succeed and help him along the way, even if he never showed he cared.

But as they walked together that night, Deirdre felt something was different. Once or twice she thought that he'd allowed his hand to brush hers, but it had more than likely been just her fanciful imagination reacting to her recently realized longing.

It still frightened Deirdre to admit how much she found herself caring about him. She'd needed him before as a friend, and motivation to move on. She fought for peace so he wouldn't have to fight again, so innocent people would not have to bloody their hands. And seeing the result gave her much joy. But now, strange things stirred within her that she did not understand, too deep and too special...too secret. And to air them, to speak of them was certain to ruin such feelings. It would be to defile them.

"Deirdre," Tai spoke suddenly, breaking the quiet. She felt as if their pace was slowing a bit. "I justI wanted to say that I am happy that things have worked out for you."

"What do you mean?" He sounded a little strange, as if he was straining against himself, keeping inside his feelings.

"I fought in those wars for the people, in order to allow them happiness and peace. But I could not give them peace, I merely protected she who could give them peace, she who was strong enough to provide peace. And I am happy that you succeeded and are happy yourself." He was silent again. And Deirdre snorted.

"Maybe. I just wish that it wasn't so difficult to maintain."

"But anything that is so special and important must be maintained. A house, once built initially, does not stay strong and firm for eternity. It must be repaired, cleaned and sometimes complete renovations are necessary."

Deirdre smiled in contentment. He always pulled such things out of a seemingly empty void. He sounded sagacious, ancient almost, and all at once, like a lost little boy. Both feelings drew him to her. The one, created respect and admiration, the other, and endearing feeling of compassion. She responded to his thoughtfulness and wisdom.

"That is very true. But sometimes people move completely don't they? Or else the house is remodeled so that it does not resemble its original form. That is what I must work to prevent. But everyone seems so determined to move."

"As long as it is worth it."

She smiled down at the ground. "It is worth it." And some how, she almost felt as if they were talking about something that had nothing to do with peace and politics. Something entirely different. But that was the forbidden topic. He was her friend and she'd never broach such a topic, never risk losing him.

Deirdre suddenly came back to herself, and she was flying back to school on a shuttle. She could remember the tender look in his eyes as he'd watched her, and their quiet talks. He was informed, and had solid opinions. It was good to speak with one such as him, and one who kept his temper in check so well. But did she dare to believe that he might feel something for her? Years ago it would have been laughable. He would not have been capable of such feelings. But nowit seemedalmost natural.

Remembering his face as he said goodbye gave her hope. It was a sad look, longing in his eyes, like when he'd said goodbye to her in Peacemillion. Huy had come with them. She remembered they stood awkwardly in front of each other, like timid teenagers. Huy had slapped Tai on the back. "Well, give her a big hug you stupid oaf!"

Tai had awkwardly put his arms around Deirdre in a timid hug, as if he wasn't sure he was doing it correctly. But she couldn't help but return it, and with her response, he had relaxed and held her back. It had been brief, but sweet and genuine. Deirdre would give anything to know if he'd ever hug her like that again. She'd longed to wrap her arms around his neck and tell him that she didn't want to leave him, not when things were going so well. She longed to stay with him, by his side always. She would allow him to heal her heart, to enter parts she'd never let anyone else see. And she in turn would keep him safe and love him. She could do it. There was pain in him still, and she wanted to protect him from his own thoughts. If only she could make him see that she would help him. Comfort him. 

But she had left. And she would meet Celes at the shuttleport. She dearly hoped that Marcus had decided to go back to Earth. That's where his job was, where he belonged, not pestering and confusing her.

After landing, she carried her bag down the lonely hallway and had to keep reminding herself that she could see him again. This parting wouldn't be forever. But stillknowing he was alive and knowing that she wasn't sharing this time with him hurt somehow. 

It didn't matter, she thought firmly. It didn't matter. He was alive and well. He supported her ideals. As long as she had those three things, his safety, happiness and support, she could have the stamina to fight and endure. She would not cry anymore. Everything was all right and as it should be now.

Celes' smiling face greeted her at the exit, Ianthe standing by her, looked a little awkward. They hadn't spoken since her accusation several weeks ago. "How was it?" Celes asked cheerfully, guiding everyone to the parked car.

"Nice. I had a lot of fun," Deirdre told her in her ladylike, pleasant voice.

"Well, you'll have to tell us all about it as we drive home!" She grinned and unlocked the car.

_Homewhy is it that no where but where Tai is seems like home anymore._ Deirdre smiled and nodded at her roommate. _No one's ever told me it hurt to be in love._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N Panthow was that? Has school started up for anyone yet?

And can I say "wow" about fifty times? I've never received reviews like the ones from the last chapter! Thanks for such an over-whelming response! It made me laugh a lot! Anyway, I hope I'm doing a good job and I'm trying to pump out some more chapters. Currently, I'm cursing myself for dreaming up such a long and complicated story. Yet again, like with Blood Bonds, at chapter 8, this story hasn't even gotten started yet. It's very depressing. Anyway, Enjoy!! Toodles for now, Tygerlilee


	9. Unrest

Chapter Nine

Unrest

"She's really a nice girl, Tai. I liked her a lot," Kieko told Tai one day as they were walking together to a lab. They usually ran into each other outside the gym building and walked together to the physics lab. Kieko was a clinical laboratory science major so they had a lot of classes together, organic and biochemistry, physics, microbiology, and so on. That was how they'd met in the first place. 

To this day she did not understand why she'd been drawn to him. She had seen the quiet, serious boy sitting alone in a sea of unfamiliar faces two years ago and sat by him. He had been nice enough, but never gave any clue that he wanted her friendship. But she'd stayed by his side, just following him, talking as he listened. That led to study partners and later a very advantageous friendship. He'd acted as a big brother to her, helping her shed a very persistent ex-boyfriend and proved a good shoulder to cry on. 

She still remembered that day, when Tai Iwasato saved her life. Perhaps not entirely in the physical, bodily sense, for most likely she would have survived regardless, but he had most definitely save her in the emotional sense. He'd put her on the path leading her to self-confidence and independence. It had been a very rainy night and _he_ had been angry, again. _He _always hit hard when _he_ was like that. And _he_ hadn't done well on an exam so _he'd_ been doing some drinking, and _he_ was a violent drinker. It was usual for her to be struck by the males in her life. True, her father had never hit her, but he had stood by as her mother shrieked and threw things. Kieko had dodged many a wayward vase or plate or shoe. Actually he was her stepfather. Her real father had died when she was six. She barely remembered him, but what she did recall told her he'd been a strong, kind, good man, and was a wonderful at keeping her mother's temper in check. His death had greatly affected her entire family. Her elder brother left home when he was fifteen, never to return, not even a call. That was twelve years ago. And her mother had remarried this puny, wimp of a man. 

When she began to date, every boyfriend she'd ever had had hit her. It was normal, it's what they did. Her step-father was a wimpy and completely unreliable for anything except to act as a human rug on which her mother regularly wiped her feet on, so some how her twisted mind turned these violent men into strong, secure people on whom she could depend. When they struck her, she felt she deserved the treatment. It was a twisted half-existence. And it happened again and again, but this time she was frightened that he might inflict permanent damage, so she ran.

The rain poured down heavily and she slipped and fell on the hard concrete bruising her backside and rolling over to skin a knee. But then she just sank down and cried bitterly, she didn't have the strength to stand. Kieko was one who always put on a happy, confident face, but she was dying inside. She had felt so weak, so tired. At that time, the only time ever in her short life, she'd considered finding an exceptionally large puddle to drown herself in. A plan had half-formed itself in her mind, but then it happened. She'd never forget it, anything about it. The dim street light, in front of the fountain at the edge of campus, the tiny gravel and broken glass digging into her hands, white fingers clutching at the black top. She'd looked up at the sound of a voice, quiet and gentle. A soft hand on her shoulder, a coat dropped around her shoulders. And she found herself looking into those infinitely deep eyes. The unusual friend she followed around. He had seen her and come to her. And she flew to his arms and wept.

Shortly after that, _he_ had had an accident that hospitalized _him_. Broken ribs, badly damaged hand. His knee had to be completely rebuilt. He told everyone that he'd been in car accident—hit while crossing the street. But as she told Tai of it, he nodded simply and something told her he knew more than he was telling. Besides, that kind of thing would have been in the newspaper, and it hadn't even been mentioned. It gave her a cold chill to think of it—so eerie. 

But now, she mostly banished those memories away. Yet she always remembered that when she'd needed him most, he had been there, albeit her own nervousness and suspicions about the circumstances of _his_ injuries. She never dreamed that it would be Tai who would save her, save her from her own weaknesses and mistakes. Her family certainly didn't care much. Well, maybe that wasn't exactly fair. They did love her, but they were weak. Tai showed her how she should be treated, and that she did not have to settle for anything less. That it wasn't her fault and that she was worth while and deserved to be cherished and loved. He wouldn't be the one for her, but he did show her there was another way. She in turn kept him company and provided an outlet from his dark thoughts, a cheerful spirit to light his way, even though he never spoke of it. She'd seen a very kind boy that first day. His eyes were so dark and deep, full of secrets. Only now she was beginning to realize how deep things went. He was so silent about his feelings and past, yet very talkative and opinionated on everything else. She'd longed to get him to open up, to heal the death she read in his eyes. It frightened her. She'd grown used to it over the years, realized that if someone were to help him, it would not be her. But then one day she'd knocked on his door to return a borrowed textbook and Huy had answered. The rest was history. Of course, Huy didn't know any of this, and she preferred to keep it that way. 

But now she was talking to him, trying to find out exactly what was up with Deirdre. And he was being evasive as usual, drat him. 

"I like her too," he replied simply.

"Soare you going to keep in touch? Call her or anything?" she prompted, probing cautiously. She kicked a wayward rock from the path and nodded at a passing friend.

"Kieko, we've known each other long enough. Don't play games. What are you hinting at?"

Kieko snorted. It was so like him to cut to the chase. She sighed heavily and shifted her backpack. "I was wondering if you and she have anything going." As if he'd really answer her.

"No," said firmly. "We are friends. That's all." Kieko thought she sensed a hint of warning in his voice, as if she was on dangerous ground. She looked up at his eyes. They were dark as usual. However they had that shadow she sometimes saw in them, the frightening sadness and emptiness. She'd never seen eyes like that before she'd met him. But she remembered the hope and happiness in them when Deirdre visited. It was the first time she'd ever seen such expressions in his eyes, the first time such things had overpowered the terrible pain he felt. Her anger was rising. He was being stupid. He had the chance of a lifetime, and he was going to let it, or rather her, walk away, literally.

"COME ON! You don't treat any girl like you do her! You must like her, and vice versa. Why not take the plunge! Be daring for once in your life." For some reason Tai had seemed to think that statement incredibly funny and burst out laughing, one of the few times she'd seen him like that, but it didn't exactly count because it was more of a sardonic, ironic laugh than a happy, mirthful laugh. Then she remembered what he'd told her. He used to be a Gundam pilot. Be daring she'd told him.

"Okay, so maybe that was a retarded statement"

"Kieko, why are you so determined to match me off?" Tai asked suddenly. He glanced down as a poky bush snagged his shirt and he brushed it off. Everything was brown and dead around them. It was nearing November now, and so dark and depressing. Fall was a depressing time of year, the time when everything died. Kieko couldn't understand why they just didn't make it cheerful and happy year around.

She bit her lip. "I guess I feel like I should. I mean, I met you first, but fell for your brother, your twin. I think that's unfair and I want to see you happy."

To her surprise Tai laughed again, but it was a more cheerful laugh, not laced with derision. "Guilty? Kieko, no offence, but I wasn't interested in you either. I don't see where you have any responsibility. And I'm happy on my own."

"That's just what I'm afraid of," she said miserably. "I can just see you as some old hermit, workaholic with your millions in an empty house. You'd be lonely. And sad. Iyou're my friend. I don't want that to happen to you, I want you to have the kind of friendship and companionship I've found with Huy. It'sthe most amazing feeling in the world. I can't figure out how I ever lived without it. And you like her, a lot."

Tai shook his head. "That's very sweet of you Kieko," he told her. He was being genuine in his expressions of thanks, but she could see such a melancholy deep in his eyes. "That's sweet of you. But I'm afraid you've got it all wrong. We don't have feelings for each other. And I won't enjoy such a life as you and Huy will."

"But you can and you will!" she burst out. A few passers by glanced at her strangely, but she didn't care.

"No, Kieko. I don't deserve such a life. I've done things, horrible things. I don't deserve such a life so I doubt it will ever be granted me." He seemed so pathetic talking like this.

"That's just stupid Tai. Can't you see it? You can have that kind of love, and life. It's standing and facing you, looking straight at you, right in the face. And yet you ignore it and say that you are fated to be lonely and sad. You sound like you enjoy being depressed, a tragic little hero. You sound like a little spoiled boy! You need to grow up. Deirdre loves you! I don't know how you could miss such a thing, but she does. And you must care for her. I've seen how you look out for her and listen to her. I saw you."

"Kieko"

But Kieko ignored his protest and went on at breakneck speed. "Tai, it's not fate that's preventing you from finding happiness. It's just your own mind!"

"If only it were that simple" He was struggling for words.

"What do you mean?"

"Kiekothere are situations, complications which make it very difficult foranything to happen. And though she has the capability to love and forgive, despite the knowledge she has of my past, she deserves better. Besides, you may know that I love her, but I don't know that." He laughed again, softly. "The only thing I'm worrying about now is trying to find a way to both keep Deirdre safe and remain friends with my brother. I haven't even considered my feelings for her, so I doubt that I love her—love should be all consuming. I want to protect her, but it's not love. It's very different. I can't explain it to you now because I would betray Deirdre, but a little while from now, I will tell you everything, you and Huy both. For now, please be content with what I can tell you."

At first Kieko looked as if she didn't know what to say. But then her mouth opened. "I still say you are punishing yourself unnecessarily. You are being silly. I don't understand it at all. And you' are in love with her. That look you have on your face when you look at her--that's love. Maybe you haven't thought about it yet, maybe Huy and school and everything else distract you. But when a few things settle down, you'll see. You'll find that you can't help but think of her. You'll see that you do love her, that it is an all consuming feeling." Oh, she wanted to slap him up side the head so bad she was clutching her hands till they were purple.

Tai stopped walking and turned to look at her. "Kieko, thank you for your faith and friendship. Iif you knew what I've done, I don't think that you'd be able to"

"Stop it!" Kieko cut him off. "Don't be silly. It was war. Crap happens!"

Tai chuckled. "That's why I'm so happy Huy will have you. You make so much sense."

"Then why won't you listen to me?" she pleaded.

"You'll find out some time, but just not yet."

Keiko growled in frustration. "You make no sense."

But Tai didn't react. He just smiled his secret, sad smile that made Kieko's heart want to break. Surely no one deserved such a pathetic life.

"I think you read me incorrectly anyway. I have no intention of living alone and sad, not caring for anyone," Tai almost whispered as they entered the physics building.

"What are you talking about?" Kieko was so annoyed with him right now; she wasn't sure she wanted to talk to him anymore. Strangling him on the other hand. If only he'd quit being so secretive. He reminded her of a druid of ancient times-sometimes he looked old enough to be one.

"Why do you think I'm becoming a physician?" he asked her, looking straight back at her.

She stopped still in the hall and he went a few steps more before he realized that she had been left behind. "What are you doing back there? Come one," he called, waving a hand at her, motioning for her to follow.

Her jaw dropped slightly and she looked at him in shock. Why _was_ he becoming a doctor? She'd been so blind. She'd never even seen it. Her mind was quickly putting the pieces together as she stared at his open eyes, and out-stretched hand. It took all of a second to click but she hardly even understood her own thoughts.

He was atoning for his crimes. He'd killed, assassinated, murdered. Now he was going to heal people. He wasn't just moping around forever, he was dedicating himself to the repairing of what he done. He would be a workaholic, but it wouldn't be to drown out his pain, he was too strong to fall to such traps. He was living to repair things; there would be no moping around for him. 

"Tai?"

"Yes?" he asked, still looking back at her.

"Youwho taught you that this is what you should do? Who taught you what path you should follow?"

Tai smiled his tragic smile. "A long time ago my mentor told me that the only way to live a life without regret would be live by my emotions. So that's what I've done. And he's been right, except that I've made a few mistakes and was tricked a few times. Those things are what I regret. I also hurt those on the sidelines. I would do what I've done over again, but now some one else can do. I'm no longer needed. So I've chosen this path. This is what I feel is right."

"And you don't feel Deirdre is right?" she asked sadly.

"That's an entirely different case. She can't possibly love me and I certainly don't feel like that about her. But if my feelings ever change, you can be sure I'll act on them, for better or worse."

Kieko wasn't sure if he'd chosen those words on purpose or not. They were very ironic.

"Tai." It was all she could do to keep from hugging him. Maybe she was bipolar, all this wanting to murder him, then hug him business. It gave her a little bit of a headache.

"Kieko, come on. We need to get to class." She nodded and breathed in. There was so much more to him than she had ever guessed. How could anyone be this strong?

Deirdre sat at the table playing with her bowl of cold cereal, pushing the increasingly more soggy corn flakes around in little ripples of circles. She'd found it difficult to concentrate on schoolwork since she'd been back. And it wasn't just because she was thinking of Tai. True, Marcus had left, but Celes seemed odd now for some reason. And speaking to Ianthe still felt a little awkward. The strangest was Kiki. Kiki was NICE to her now. Maybe it was because Deirdre talked to her about Tai when she hadn't spoken to anyone else. It made Kiki feel special, needed. That always helped. 

But things were settling a bit, but they'd never be the same again. She smiled as Maryanne and Amada chased after each other around the apartment. At least two of them remained unaltered. Kiki snapped at the girls telling them to be quiet as she studied—okay, so maybe Kiki was still normal. Strange how comforting it was to have such a routine, expected behaviors, a little ritual day after day. It wasn't mundane as one would expect, but safe, and comfortable. Like Tai

She shook herself and drank down the rest of her soggy cereal and milk. She wouldn't let herself think such things. It was stupid. He would never know how she felt for him. They would remain friends. Period.

Back in her bedroom, her pack was open and books spilled out everywhere. She bundled them all together and zipped her pack, getting ready to go on campus, where she would force herself to study all night. She couldn't afford to flunk out the second to the last semester before she graduated.

As she walked toward the door, Kiki yelled after her and threw her own bag over her shoulders. "Wait for me. I'll walk with you!" she called and sprinted over. Deirdre waited for her frazzled roommate and the two girls left together.

They walked silently till they reached the street. Then Kiki spewed with words. That's how she was. She was so full of feelings and emotions that they just spilled out. That was why she seemed so harsh. She just couldn't keep her bitterness and annoyance at her entire existence inside of herself, nor could she keep her comments to herself about topics or people she cared about. Deirdre now qualified as one of those people she cared about.

"Are you okay?" she asked sharply.

"Hmm, I'm fine," Deirdre replied demurely.

Kiki tightened the straps on her bag and looked hard at her friend. "You're too quiet. It's weird."

Deirdre looked sadly down at the ground. "I've been thinking a lot lately."

"What about? You've been so weird since you got back from fall break. What happened?" she asked.

"Nothing."

"Hmmthat's the problem then?" Kiki mused.

Deirdre sighed. "You won't leave me alone until I tell you about everything will you?" But Kiki didn't really need to answer. Her hard expression answered for her. "I realized my first day back thatthat I really care for Tai as more than a friend. But it's difficult because I realize the impossibility that he might care back. I'm too afraid to find out that I'm right, to risk losing such a good friend."

Kiki looked surprised, then sympathetic. She patted Deirdre's shoulder. "I think I see your problem. I mean, I understand it. That's difficult. So he was still a cool guy? I thought you were worried that you wouldn't know how to act around him—you thought he might have changed and all."

"I was worried, but then I saw him. He has changed, but how he's just more open. He has always acted out what I've always seen in his eyes, but now it's more obvious. Does that make sense?"

Kiki nodded. "Well, I don't think I can help you at all though. Fat lot of help I am," she said glaring at the concrete.

"Oh Kiki," Deirdre said laughing as she awkwardly hugged her friend. "You have helped, by noticing and talking to me. It always helps to lessen a burden when one can share it with a close friend."

Kiki shoved Deirdre off, embarrassed, but she smiled shortly after. "I try"

"And you do very well," Deirdre encouraged. "Now have a wonderful day!"

And they separated for their respective classes.

"Zechs," Lady Une acknowledged, looking at the tall blond man standing before her desk, his hands clasped behind his back, his long hair tied neatly back.

"You wanted to see me?" he queried, his face devoid of any curiosity or nervousness.

"Do you have those files on the groups in the southern quadrant yet?"

Zechs nodded sharply. "My source came through. I will have the reports to you shortly."

"Was it good new, or bad?"

"Good."

Lady Une sighed with relief. "Well, that's one less danger for us to worry about." Zechs just nodded. "That one had me concerned."

"We _did_ take care of it."

"But I can foresee a time when we may not able to prevent such groups growing. It seems as if these incidents are becoming more dangerous, larger, more organized, and more frequent. Soon we will not be able to hide them from the public. And I hate to see the chaos that may be unleashed," Lady Une confided, darkly. "I'm afraid that things are starting all over again."

"That may be, but we are organized and prepared this time. And Relena is still a surprisingly strong uniting force. And despite all these recent disturbances, none were strong enough to cause much damage. "

"Maybe not yet. But they could grow. I see history repeating itself, and slowly war is building again. We will not have to worry for several years yet, but still. Perhaps we can fight fate this time. But I fear for Relena. I'm afraid of another Heero Yuy, another great leader assassinated." She looked very distracted for a moment, eyes clouding over, but then snapped back to reality. "I think that perhaps it would be wise to make sure she is aware of thesedisturbances."

"I agree, but I thought there was no point of telling her quite yet when she cannot act on anything. It would merely distract her, and for no clear purpose. However, as soon as she has graduated and prepares to come back, I will inform her." Zechs still stood stiffly in front of his superior.

Lady Une nodded. She respected Zechs thoughts and ideas. He was a cautious, deliberate man, and a first rate soldier. He made no move without carefully considering it first. He was steady. But Lady Une was not sure she always agreed with his methods. At times he was all together too unorthodox for her tastes. His way of stopping the war had worked, but she had thought perhaps there could have been another way besides pitting himself against Treize and attempting to destroy Earth. And that brought her to another point.

"What about this entire mess with Heero Yuy? Has it been resolved?" she asked sharply.

"Nearly so."

"Does Relena know?"

"No. I thought to spare her of that to for a bit more," he unflinchingly told her.

"Hmm. I think that perhaps it might be advantageous to attempt recruiting him to the Preventors. His skills are considerable and could be put to good use," she said thoughtfully.

"I don't think he'd agree to that," was the slow reply. His voice showed doubt, but his face revealed nothing, as usual.

"Don't you? He fought for peace before. He'll feel the need to do so once again. He is a warrior, much like you. You'll never be at peace, never rest. There may be a calm for a time, but then you grow restless and rather than stay out of the fight, you itch to lend your strength. That is your way, and his. You two are rather a lot a like."

"Hn" Zechs grunted deeply. "Perhaps to some degree."

"Oh, I think so in many degrees. You seemed to understand each other well enough during the war—the only two to completely master the Zero and Epyon systems. You read each other's moves well enough to see the necessity for that final battle. And you yourself played dead for a year. I see many commonalties." Lady Une smiled slowly, letting her words sink into his head, so see if he'd react in any way.

But he didn't. She honestly had expected no less from such as him.

"You may be right" he told her slowly. 

"I know I'm right. I'm always right. I personally think you are the least justified in your anger towards him. You did the same thing."

"But not as long a time."

"You only showed yourself because you were needed in battle—the call of bloodshed to the warrior."

"I did it to protect Relena, to allow her to work and help create peace. Had I been there, her progress would have been very slow," Zechs reasoned calmly.

Lady Une arched an eyebrow at him. "To protect Relena? Now there's a thought."

Zechs smirked. He'd caught her message and was digesting it. She could read that much on his face. Leaning back in her chair, she smiled at him. "You may go now. That's all."

Zechs nodded, turned heel and left. 

Lady Une turned to look out the large window behind her, a city of gleaming lights below her. It was dark already. She'd been putting in too many hours. Marimeia deserved a more motherly caretaker, but Une did love her little charge. And she would continue to protect her. But now she could see fate spinning her wheels again. 

Heero Yuy was alive. That was comforting. He'd been a pain in her side during the wars, but now that they were fighting on the same side, he could be a great help. True, she'd manipulated Zechs Marquis into releasing a little anger so perhaps they could work together. With the signs she was reading, they'd need all the help they could get. All the Gundam pilots would be needed. And she'd start recruiting promising young pilots to have them trained and ready in case they were needed. But getting the funding necessary for such things would be a trick without having to answer too many questions.

"Mr. Treize.what would you do?" Her fingers tapped lightly against to cool glass. She was reading the signs, Zechs had read the signs. But it seemed that no one else had. How could she take on such a daunting task? How could she possibly prevent such horrendous events from reoccurring--the blood, the pain, and the tears--all of it. All over again, and again, and again. There had to be a way to stop this from happening. "What would you do?" she whispered to the ghost in her mind. He had been so good at this. That was why he was such a powerful leader. True, he was an excellent pilot, but his true strength was his ability as a strategist. He used it in the political realm as well as on the battlefield. That was why he was so powerful. He could read people's movements, judge their character, and determine what paths they'd take. He was a master manipulator, convincing Zechs to take the position he had to end the war was proof of that. "If only you were here, Mr. Treize. You'd know what to do."

Ai stood over the cake with a frosting bag, carefully drawing the roses on. Her hand shook slightly and the letter swayed. She scrunched up her face in concentration. 

"Hey mom!!" Yachi yelled shrilly. "Mom!! What are ya doing?!!?!?"

Ai jumped in the air, cutting off her delicate frosting line. "Yachi! Don't do that! You startled me!" she lectured sharply.

Yachi grinned, unconcerned. She came and sat by her mother, sweating over the three-layer chocolate frosted cake. As of late, Ai had had too much spare time so she'd taken up a cake business. This one was for a wedding anniversary and had way too much writing on it for Ai's taste. But she did as she was told.

Yachi rested her head on her hands and watch her mother. She loved to watch. The cakes always turned into a work of art, the delicate sugar lines drawn together, just like a picture. They made no sense at first, merely a sketch of soft lines, but when finished, everything fit together beautifully. She sighed with contentment. 

"You want to make me some roses?" Ai asked her daughter suddenly.

Yachi jumped up happily. Her mother had taught her to make them a few weeks ago and she'd been practicing constantly. She wanted to be as good as her mother at this some day. "Yah!"

Ai smiled. "You can use that bag over there," she said, motioning towards a pink bag of frosting by the roll of wax paper. "I need about fifteen."

"Okay!" Yachi happily set to work, her tongue between her teeth, a perfect imitation of her mother bending over her work in concentration. Ai smiled lovingly. Her daughter was growing into a beautiful young lady. She was nearing Ai's height, not that she herself was very tall, but still. Her dark hair was often braided down her back now, her large dark eyes framed by "permanent bangs" as Gina dubbed them. 

"Mom," Yachi asked as she refilled her bag.

"Hmm." She was concentrating on the basket weaving on her own project.

"What day are Huy and Tai flying home again?"

"Well, actually, they won't be coming together this year. Tai'll be coming a little later."

"WHAT!" Yachi stared up at her mother, eyes startled. "Why not?" Disappointment was dripping from her voice.

"Well, school ends on the eighteenth. Huy will come home then, but Tai said he wanted to visit some friends that first weekend, so he'll be here on the twenty-second."

"But I want him home sooner," Yachi whined.

"I'm afraid you'll have to take that up with him."

Yachi grumbled under her breath. "This is the first Christmas in two years we'll ALL be together! Toshi's been going to his in-lawsI want them all here!"

Ai went over to hug her daughter. "But I'm afraid that's what happens when people grow up. They get married, have families of their own. We can't see them as often, but we still love them just as much. And no matter the length of time we are apart, we can always be together again some day, and we will always be family."

"I don't like it. Now Huy's getting married. Doesn't that mean Tai has to too? Then I'll be the only one!!"

Ai laughed. "Why would you think such a thing? He'd have to act awfully quickly wouldn't he? Tai hasn't even been dating anyone."

"Yah, but he and Huy are twins. They have to get married on the same day!" Yachi reasoned. Ai couldn't suppress her giggles. Yachi was twelve now, but she still seemed such a tiny girl at times. Her innocent ideas were refreshing and amusing.

"No dear. They can do different things. Just because they are twins doesn't mean they are two of the same person! Huy's going to be a history professor and go to graduate school for a Ph.D. and Tai's going to medical school. That show's how different they are right there!"

Yachi's lower lip popped out, trembling. "I don't want them to grow up. I don't want anyone to leave." Then she sprung at her mother and buried her face in Ai's shoulder, clinging tightly. "Why can't things go back to how they used to be with all of us home again! Why do things have to change?"

"Oh, my little sweet dove. Growing up isn't all bad"

"Yes it is! It takes your family away!"

"That's not true. You just have to learn how to make your heart bigger, so that more people can fit in it."

Yachi sniffled. "I don't like it. It hurts to stretch."

Ai laughed again at her youngest child. "It does dear, so it does. But would you take Gina and Toshi's spouses and children from them?"

"No."

"Well then, you just have to learn to grow and love them all," Ai reasoned.

"I still don't like it. And why is Tai visiting friends now? He never has before!"

"Well, maybe he just felt like it this time."

"He better come home early on the twenty-second."

Ai just patted her youngest child's head. Privately she somewhat agreed with Yachi. She longed to have all her babies back, safe, where she could watch over them. On the other hand, she rejoiced in their successes and her grandchildren. Her children had grown wise, and strong. They were making good choices and that was more than could be said for many families. But she did worry most about Tai. He was still such a solemn child, or rather man. He could hardly be called a child any more. If only he'd find someone too, then maybe she could wipe the despondent, apathetic gaze from his eyes. Most of the time he was happy and friendly now, but still, it was there, deep down. And what was the worst to Ai was that it probably would never go away, and if it did, it would not be her to dissipate it.

Julie snapped up from the table in the library where she'd dozed off. Finals were killers and she'd been studying day and night. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and glared down at her notes that she'd been poring over. But she was tired of studying. She just wanted to go home and see everyone. And she was having problems with that dumb paper of hers. She just couldn't make it sound right. 

Then she remembered Tai helping her before. She'd aced that paper, the only one she'd ever aced. But it was finals week. He'd never find time to help her.

Dejected and sullen, Julie packed up her things. She was getting nothing accomplished so she obviously needed a break. No point in forcing what would not stick in her brain.

The library was silent as she left it, and outside the sky was a sea of white. As she started home, she looked up at the sky. She could almost see the fragile water-crystals clumping together, soft flakes falling on her nose. It was so beautiful. Like sugar covered trees and buildings. It made her feel warm and safe. 

She shuffled down the sidewalk, wrapping her coat tightly against the cold. Campus was unusually empty. Everyone was inside, keeping warm. Probably sitting by stoves, drinking hot chocolate wrapped in fluffy blankets and watching the snowfall. If only she could. But the apartment was so depressing now. Kieko was always running around, trying to plan this or that for the wedding. It wouldn't be a large wedding, but all weddings are ordeals. That was life. But it still reminded Julie of things she'd rather not think of. Tai would never notice her. Even up until Deirdre's visit, she'd had a slim, desperate hope that he'd change his mind. But as soon as she saw the way he looked at the pretty little redhead, she knew she didn't have a chance. 

That was another weird thing. He didn't seem to be trying to be with her at all. He obviously liked her, but he wasn't working on a relationship. They emailed each other, and talked every once in a while on the phone, but that was it. Julie shook her head in disbelief. Perhaps it was better that weird boy didn't like her. He might have been more trouble than he was worth.

And so she shuffled along the sidewalk to her little home. As she unlocked the door, she could hear Kieko and Huy muttering over something. She saw them briefly leaning over some papers on the table as she kicked snow off of her shoes and went to her room. It was the only private place around, and she would have stayed there, except her stomach had decided to remind her of its presence.

Grumbling, she shuffled back to the kitchen to rummage the fridge.

"AIIIII!!! I can't take it any more!" Huy whaled. Julie didn't even blink. She was used to Huy's random outbursts of frustration. "There's soo-oo much to do! Scheduling, ordering flowers, food, reserving a place for a reception, pictures, invitation listit ne-ver e-ends!!" Huy whined in a yodeling voice.

"Oh, quit complaining. I'm the one who has to choose all the colors and actual items—if I leave it to you everything will be plain white!" Kieko said sharply.

"What's wrong with simple white?"

"It's boring! That's what! Besides, the sooner we get this stuff over with, the sooner we can work on planning the honeymoon—ugh. That's going to be a pain toomore reservations, but that's only when we figure out where we want to go." There was a loud slapping noise of skin on wood as Kieko flopped onto the table, her face flat down on it.

"But at least that part's going to be fun" Huy muttered.

Kieko looked up at Julie standing by the stove and rolled her eyes. "Typical male."

"Well, it's true isn't it? Which do you look forward to? Slapping a smile on your faces as your great-aunt three times removed pinches your cheeks and reminds you of the days when they'd sewn up sheets to protect young ladies from rouge men? Or a relaxing time at a place of your choosing with just one other person, the one you're spending the rest of your life with," Huy asked resolutely. "Uhare you okay?"

Her lower lip was trembling furiously and her eyes were huge and watery. Suddenly she burst into tears and flung her arms around Huy's neck. "Ororoyou think you can give me some air" Kieko backed off a little. "Barking mad, you are!"

"I can't help it," she sobbed pathetically. "I'm just so happy that you're going to be my husband!!" she whaled.

Huy tried to look annoyed, but all he managed was slightly embarrassed pleasure. "Quit cryingyou're just being silly."

Kieko nodded violently and wiped her tears away. Then she smiled and flung her arms around his neck again. "Just as soon as I give you a big kiss!"

"No objections here" Huy managed to get out before Kieko silenced him.

Julie rolled her eyes and stormed out of the room. The two lovebirds had hardly even noticed her. Kieko was all but taken away and that left Julie alone. She hated it. She'd been spending more and more time with that hormone-ridden girl, Tessa. Things just weren't the same any more. And with Kieko and Huy everywhere, it was driving her mad.

As she stomped down the snow-covered steps, she hit an icy spot. Julie saw stars and went flying down the stairs, back end first. As she hit the end of the first flight, she managed to grab the corner handrail and held on for dear life. 

Panting, she rested her head against the cold metal, her pants getting soaked from her body heat melting the snow around her. She breathed in hard and tried to calm her nerves. This week had been horrible. Nothing was going right. It wasn't fair.

"Hey, you okay down there?" as voice from above queried.

Julie jumped suddenly and looked up to see a concerned face, surrounded by a black beanie with green eyes.

"UhI think so" Julie leaned forward cautiously, stretching her legs to make sure they still worked properly.

"Let me help you up," said the voice and strong hands gripped her from behind and lifted her to her wobbly feet. Within three seconds she was falling again and the arms caught her again. "Man, you must have taken a serious fall! You need me to walk you to where you're going? I wouldn't mind at all."

Julie reached out and grabbed the handrail beside her and stood on her own to look at the person who'd helped her. She found herself gaping in a very unflattering way at a torso, covered in navy blue cloth. She blinked and looked up at the tall man's face. 

"What are you doing out here without a coat anyway? You'll freeze! Come one, where do you belong?"

Why was it that he made her feel like a lost puppy?

"I, uh, I just live up there," she told him, pointing. "But I justjust realized I forgot something and needed to get it," she lied.

"Well, at least get a coat. It's so cold, and you'll be even colder when the snow melts on you," he said with a soft laugh and brushed the flakes that had accumulated on the top of her head off.

She nodded mutely. Somewhere between the slipping and the cold air and the shock of this boy, her fiery temper had been thoroughly stomped out. Shakily she climbed back up the stairs to her apartment. 

"You live here?" he asked behind her.

She nodded. Then said quietly, "Thank you."

"Sure. Don't mention it. Do you want me to help you get what you forgot?"

What she forgot? Oh, yeah! She'd already forgotten her own excuse. "NoI think I can manage."

"Okay!" then he turned to leave, but stopped. "I'm Jordan, by the way."

Julie smiled. She couldn't help it. He was infectious. "I'm Julie."

He reached out his hand and Julie looked down at it for a minute before she realized she was supposed to shake it. "Nice to meet you Julie. I guess I'll see you around!"

Then he smiled again and walked off. What was that supposed to mean? He'd see her again?

And all of a sudden she could feel the cold and the wet and fled inside to find a dry towel and to enjoy that cup of hot chocolate with her bedroom door firmly shut.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N _Sorry!!_ I'm so sorry this took forever and a day!!!! 

And I only mentioned school last time because that's all I've been thinking of. I'm trying to make it so that while I'm at school there will be an update at least once a month. I think I can do it. Then hopefully there will be an influx of chapters at Christmas, then once a month again until summer, then an influx. And so on until I get this thing done. But thank you for your patience! Sorry again!!! And thank you for reading--I hope you enjoy it. Toodles for now, Tygerlilee =^,^=


	10. Noncat Fights

Chapter Ten

Non-cat Fights

"Is that batch of gingerbread out yet?" Amada asked from the table.

"Almost!" Celes called out, smiling. 

"Hmwell, you need to hurry. Maryanne's eating all the candy," Amada explained.

"I am not!" Maryanne yelled defensively as she put back a handful in the bowl.

"This is so dumb. Only little kids do this kind of stuff," Kiki complained.

Ianthe draped her heavy form over Kiki's shoulders to push her into a chair at the table. "And what's so wrong with that? Besides, you and Deirdre need to have some cheerful decorations while we're all gone! It'll be fun."

Deirdre sat with her face in her hands focusing on the small Christmas Tree in the corner. There were six presents under it and small imitation icicles clung to the branches among candy canes and little gingerbread men. All the decorations were homemade. Today was the last day before everyone started going home. So they were making a gingerbread house and opening presents--they had drawn names the week before.

She imagined Tai would packing to go home with Huy soon. He'd seemed pretty excited in his last email. If only she could go home too, to see Mother. She and Milliardo had never lived as siblings really, but their relationship was deeper than most simply because of the knowledge of their blood ties. But she had lived with Mother. Normally they would be making cookies for the neighbors, or going to local parties. She missed Mother. 

"Is it cool enough?" Amada asked impatiently.

Celes sighed, hands on hips, very reminiscent of a little mother and homemaker. "I guess it's cool enough. But if it crumbles, don't blame me!" 

The thick frosting was spread on the foil-covered card board and pieces placed on it very quickly. It took a matter of minutes to finish building the house with six pairs of hands.

"What next?" Maryanne asked excitedly. She'd never made a gingerbread house before and apparently was not above such childish pursuits like Kiki was.

"It has to dry."

"What! First we have to wait for it to bake, then wait for it to cool, now we wait for it to dry? What's next?" She pouted.

Ianthe laughed. "Well, you want it to be pretty don't you?"

"I want it to be yummy!" Maryanne said, grinning.

Lazily, Deirdre played with the candy in the bowl, picking up a handful, dropping it back in the bowl. If what's-his-bucket was fighting to allow weapons againmaybe she could find a way to halt his bill, or override it if it passed. She'd written the first disarmament bill and gotten it passed years ago. She could find a way around his surely. Otherwise, all the Preventor's work could be counted as illegal, they could be disbanned, and that would be the end of it. She had to stop it.

"Hey! I was going to use that!"

"Don't shove!"

"This is supposed to be a season of love and sharing and giving. So why the heck are you stealing everything!"

"Ack! If this frosting dries and my nose peels off I'll haunt you till the day I die."

"Oh, just wipe it off. It's no biggy."

"That was my side you just elbowed."

Deirdre grinned to herself. They were so funny to listen too, assuming you we not in the middle of that mess of elbows and flying feet.

She wondered if Milliardo was working against all these problems. Of course no one in the general population would have noticed yet, it was all too subtle and slow. For those with this as a career, the signs would be popping up. They were small, very quiet. Just one man speaking out about re-arming the world and building up the military, arsonal and all. He did have some small amount of political clout, but not much, and it was still only in the bill stage. And she was sure the Preventors always had little fires to put out, but those were not up to public notice. Maybe she was worrying too much about this bill. But still, if someone could override her disarmamentit wouldn't be too much longer before some other things began to fall apart, all her safeguards and hard work would be gone.

There was something cold down her back. Deirdre shot up out of her seat to turn around and face Maryanne's mischievious grin. "Hi!"

"What was that for?" Deirdre asked, noting the ice cubes in Maryanne's hands.

"You were just so quiet. I had to wake you up. I'm sure you've just been studying too much!"

But Deirdre just shrugged the ice out of her shirt and smiled, sitting down. And waited for Maryanne to react.

"What!! You know, I'm going to find something really, really mean, and then you'll attack me! I'll get you to some time!"

"Come one, Maryanne. You know Deirdre never gets riled up about anything. You can't make her chase you," Ianthe said languidly from her corner. Her words came out a little muffled as she spoke around the muffin she was chewing.

"You just wait. I'll find something to make her come after me!!"

Deirdre smiled at her roommates, but quietly drifted back into her dream world. How could she find out from Milliardo without seeming too obvious, what was going on.

"I'm goin' home! Yiiiiiiiiipeeeeeeeeee!!!" Huy yodlled. "Man, aren't you excited!"

Tai nodded as he packed up his own duffel bag. "I've missed everyone. You'll have to tell them I'm sorry I won't be home as soon as you."

"Awe, it'll be no big deal. It's just a few days later. You have fun with your friends. Who are they anyway? I thought I knew all of your friends," Huy queried. Actually, Huy wasn't sure he believed the Tai was going it "visit friends." He just didn't do stuff like that. And he'd been so quiet about it. True, Tai wasn't one to jump around with happiness when something good was happening, but you could still tell. The intensity of his presence decreased, and he seemed more relaxed when he looked forward to something. But right now, if anything, he seemed MORE stressed to Huy.

"These are some more people frombefore," Tai explained.

"That's nice. Wait" And it clicked. "Did these people think you were dead all this time?"

Tai nodded.

"Well," Huy said as he sat on the edge of his bed, eyeing his brother. "This will be awkward."

"Yes. It will. And Deirdre's brother will be there too."

Huy was surprised the Tai would tell him Deirdre even HAD a brother, as he _was_ so secretive. But maybe Tai felt this bit of information wasn't dangerous. "Is she coming? Is that why you're going?"

"No. She doesn't even know about it."

"Really? You guys have been emailing and all that, I figured it would have come out. Why isn't she going? If they are mutual friends" he trailed off, trying to get Tai to volunteer more information.

"I don't think that they know she knows I'm alive."

"Uh-huh. I don't suppose it would be a bad thing if they found out?" Huy asked.

"Honestly, I don't know. However, they will know soon, one way or another."

"IS anyone I know going to be there?"

Tai leaned back on his heels as he zipped up his bag. They were leaving tomorrow morning, on different shuttles, but they departed with about a half-hour between. Huy would leave first, for the small botanical colony, then Tai for one of the larger, main colonies. L-4. "Duo. And his wife Hilde. You ran into Trowa once, and I think you met Wufei and Sally very briefly a while ago."

"A Gundam pilot reunion, huh? L-4.isn't that where the Winner estates and business are?"

Tai nodded.

"None of them are Deirdre's brother, are they?" Huy asked quickly.

"No. You've never met him."

"How many other people will be there?"

"Just a few more. There are three that I can think of off hand."

"All important military or political figures, I take it? Anyone you knew before seems to be one or the other," Huy observed dryly.

Tai shrugged. "I knew them during the wars. Many of them ended climbing up the ladder, so to speak."

"Except you."

"No. Trowa still works at the circus with his sister, and Duo owns his little business."

"That's true," Huy conceded. "So maybe you aren't the only one who longed for a quiet life."

"It's why we foughtfor peace, and happiness. Not just for us but for everyone."

Huy watched his serious brother's face staring off, eyes unfocused on a random corner of the room. It was usually a pretty safe bet when he zoned out like that, he was remembering something, something that he'd never share with anyone. 

"Well, I'll say hi' to everyone for you and hope you survive this visit. If you need to come home sooner, just give us a ring. You know Mom and Dad will help you out."

"Yah." He was still staring off in space. Huy wouldn't be able to talk to him normally for a couple minutes, so he just went on with his packing. Then he picked up a note Kieko had written him a few day's previous. It was nothing special, just a random note she'd pinned to his door with some information about planning the wedding. It was going to be in early May, as soon as school got out. They'd both go home to spend time with their families for a couple weeks, then see each other again at the wedding. It was going to be on L-3, where Kieko's family lived, and many of the Iwasato relatives too. But still, it hit Huy that he'd have to say goodbye to her for a couple weeks. He bit his lip, and felt a little guilty for suddenly not being so excited to go home. Kieko was coming out for a few days at the end of the break to meet his family. Huy had already met Kieko's family as they lived on this colony, but still.

Huy felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked up to see his brother's face, back to normal and looking intently down at him. "You're going to miss her," he said softly. It wasn't exactly an observation, more of a basic asserting the obvious type of statement.

He looked miserably down at the note-book paper in his had. "It's weird. I can't even fathom what I'm going to do, not seeing her everyday for a couple weeks."

"Then it's a good thing you decided to marry her."

"It's like, I can't imagine lifewithout her any more. I can't imagine how I lived without her until this point."

Tai smiled. "Remember that when you've been married for fifteen years and you're getting older, and more wrinkled and all you ever do is fight."

"All we ever do is fight now," Huy reminded. Then he smiled at his brother. "Do you miss Deirdre?"

"Not this again" Tai rolled his eyes.

"No, I'm serious. Do you miss her? I didn't ask, are you in love with her?'."

"II think so. I haven't really thought about it. Do I miss Donny or Duo? Or any of our friends we've said goodbye to over the years? Not really. I know we'll see them again, sooner or later," Tai answered his own question.

"But she's different. She makes you smile. Surely that means she's at least a little special, not just one of the guys."

Tai looked curiously at his brother, and sat down beside him. Then looked down at his hands. "I will admit that she means more to me than any other friend I've ever had. She'shelped me through a lot of things, even though she doesn't know it. I many times, when I've had those dreams, and I wake upit's not because I'm scared of the horrifying images, not usually. It's because she appears and tries to drag me out of them. Normally I end up pulling her down with me, and that's when I wake up. But lately, I've seen myself pulling _her_ out. It doesn't make sense to me, but because she's safe, I don't get so worried, and I don't wake up. But I _always_ dream it."

Huy looked at his brother, scarcely breathing, afraid that if he made a loud noise, his brother's sudden openness would cease. He'd never known, Tai had never breathed a word. He dreamed of Deirdre EVERY NIGHT? What had she done?

Tai continued to stare at his hands, relaxed and flat on the floor. He closed his eyes, as if trying to keep some feeling from spilling out of them. "II can't say that she's anything but a friend because I just don't knowbut I."

"But you what? What is it Tai," Huy asked as quietly as he could, and still be heard.

"I to can't imagine a life withoutwhere she's not there, alive. Not necessarily with me, just a life where she's dead or never existed."

It was deathly silent.

"I" he struggled for words as Huy had never seen him do. "Maybe it's not like you and Kieko, being in love and marrying, but it's no less powerful. I want to protect her as I did before. I never expected to protect her during the war, but so much depended on her, so I did. And now, I see that life would have little meaning for me if she died. I can't let anything ever happen to her. And that's why I must stay out of her life as much as possible." His eyes were still closed, andhe trembled slightly, but stopped almost as soon as he started so that Huy wondered if he'd imagined it, for a second.

But Huy knew that he had seen it. He reached forward and hugged his brother tightly. "I don't know who she is or what's really going on in your mind, or hers. I don't understand the situation, but from listening to your words, I think you are wrong. I think you must he hurting her many, many times more by NOT going to her, by not being with her. How I see it, if you want to protect her, the best way is to be with her, by her side, always. You are not a Gundam Pilot, and no one has come after you since we were in high school. Quit looking around corners waiting to be attacked! Do you think I don't notice how your hand still flies to your belt when you feel threatened? That's no way to live. Let it golet it all go and talk to Deirdre. Tell her your fears, tell her how you careI think thatI daresay that you will regret this one thing most of all if you don't act now. You should act on your emotions."

Tai blinked at the wall, feeling his brother's support and love seeping through his arms. "I always act on my emotions."

"Then why are you here? Why aren't you with Deirdre? Let yourself enjoy the peace you helped create!"

"But I didn't do it."

"Yes, you did. You helped, you fought, just like Toshi and every other nameless young soldier who risked their life for it. You deserve to be free and happy," Huy insisted. But then Tai broke away suddenly.

"It's noon. I've got to go take my last exam." And he was gone.

Huy stared at where his brother had been before. He'd been so close, _so close_, to getting Tai to open up to him. The way Tai talked, it really didn't sound like there was much to question with regard to his feelings for Deirdre. So why did Tai act so unsure? And it was true, no one had bothered him since that momentous evening in high school. Huy shook his head. He didn't understand. And he felt his annoyance continue and anger grow.

Kiki and Deirdre waved goodbye as the last of their roommates, Maryanne, left. Everyone had finished with exams the day before and were going home for Christmas. But Kiki hated to go home and Deirdre, well, she couldn't go home. Not yet. Every other Christmas before, she'd allowed herself to call Zechs and Noin and her mother on a vid-phone, but that was only because she had been alone and there was no risk of getting caught. This year Kiki was with her, and Deirdre wasn't sure if she should call or not.

However, she fully intended to have a nice Christmas with Kiki. Years ago she'd laughed by a fire-side on her father's lap with a large, strongly scented tree and her mother cooking away in the kitchen. Also, thanks to Celes, they had a very festive apartment. The gingerbread house they'd made earlier made a very pretty centerpiece for the table, despite the somewhat tacky hodgepodge of candy forming incongruous stripes of mints and gummy rings. A small, four-foot tree stood in the corner, a small box from Kiki's mother lay under it. Lights were strung up in the windows and mistletoe in every doorway. They'd had a lot of fun decorating.

As the door closed behind Maryanne, Kiki sighed with what sounded like relief. "What's wrong?" Deirdre asked her.

"I'm just glad to have some peace and quiet. My head was reverberating with all the tramping around of packing and exams. I can't wait to relax!"

Deirdre nodded and smiled. "It will be nice."

"You going to see Tai at all?" Kiki asked curiously.

She shrugged. "I really don't know. Probably not. He'll be busy at home."

Kiki nodded. "Hey, it's snowing!" she yelled and sprinted to the door. 

"Maybe we'll get enough snow to make a snowman!" Deirdre chimed in as she leaned against the window, eyes dancing like a small child's. "Oh, Kiki! This is going to be a great Christmas! Let's make hot chocolate, and popcorn trees, and turkey, and clam chowder, and cinnamon rolls!"

Kiki made a face. "Can you cook all that? Cause I certainly can't," she commented skeptically.

Deirdre grinned. "I'll teach you! I used to cook all the time with my mom!"

"You've never mentioned your family before. Why don't you ever visit them?"

"Well, they live on Earth so it's pretty tough to get down there." Deirdre had decided long ago that that would be her excuse. It could get expensive to fly there and back all the time, and it was hard on the body, traveling though the atmosphere so much and the extremes in gravity change. So she kept this simple explanation for everyone. When attempting to lie, the best way was always the simplest way--especially if you were a terrible liar. "I always call them at Christmas though!" She didn't return the question to Kiki. Deirdre didn't know Kiki's situation, but she did know that her roommate got very touchy if you asked her about it. When the package from her mother came in, she grumbled and was completely impossible to live with for two days. 

"I wish I could be excited to talk to my family, or visit them," she said wistfully to the snow.

"Well, one day you can make a family and be happy to be with them," Deirdre said unaffectedly. 

"Maybe." Her voice trailed off and she concentrated on the flakes falling outside. "Hey, so you've seen real snow then? Living on Earth and all, right?"

"Uh-huh. Have you never been to Earth?"

"No."

"But I thought you grew up in the Philippines"

"No. Wellyes. I was born there and we lived there till I was five. But then we moved back to the colonies because of my father's work. I don't really remember Earth at all."

"That's sad. You should go back. It's where we all came from in the beginning, and most especially you since you were born there! You should go and see where you came from. It gives you a very secure sense of knowing who you are and where you belong." Deirdre had a funny dreamy look in her eyes that make Kiki a little nervous.

"So it's as pretty as everyone says?"

"Oh, so much more. Especially the moon. It's breathtaking from Earth." Deirdre's eyes danced with happiness as she described her homeland. "I miss it." Kiki tried to smile. Deirdre caught the look and patted her on the shoulder. "Happiness and peace is a decision. If you want to be happy, you decide to be happy."

"You make it sound so simple."

"You make it seem so difficult," Deirdre countered.

Quatre was seated in a room by the front door when he heard the doorbell ring the first time. His office was in the back of the huge house and he'd never hear the doorbell from back there, so he had relocated to a room closer to the door. Everyone would start to arrive today. Zechs and Noin were expected first, so this would probably be them. Zechs had decided that on purpose–apparently he had something to discuss with Quatre. It didn't really worry him though. Zechs didn't sound too serious. After that, Trowa, Duo and Hilde, and Wufei and Sally, in that order, supposedly. Zechs had Wufei and Sally out on a mission right now so they could be late. Heero would be the last to arrive. 

The large estate hidden in a far corner of the colony would serve as their meeting place. There would be a butler, two maids, and two cooks servicing the place. It would be impossible to keep it up on their own and still have time to relax. But all of Quatre's employee's knew to not speak to anyone of this meeting. If any leak got out to the press, people might start suspecting things. Two highly ranked Preventors, two lower ranked Preventors, a multi-billionaire, the owners of a salvaging company, and a couple nonentities. It could be made to look pretty bad when viewing it from that angle. 

The doorbell rang again and Quatre cheerfully opened to door to admit Zechs and his wife. It was odd. Noin had officially changed her last name to match Zechs', but it was still habit for everyone to call her by her old surname, even Zechs.

"I'm glad that you made it. How was your flight?" he queried as the two walked in, small duffels in hand.

"It was fine. Thank you for asking," Noin replied politely.

But Zechs went straight to business. "Is anyone else here yet?"

"No. The next person scheduled to arrive is Trowa, but he won't be here till late tonight. We have quite a few hours to talk until he is here. Would you like to put your things down and have something to eat or drink before we talk?" 

Zechs looked as if he were going to decline but Noin answered before he could. "Thank you, Quatre. That sounds wonderful."

Quatre nodded. "This way," and he motioned for them to follow him up the spiral stairs. Down a hall, up another flight, and to the left, Quatre pointed to their room. "You'll be staying here. Everyone else will also be along this hallway. Just meet me downstairs when you're ready. I'll be in the room to the right of the main door."

"Thank you," Noin said and Quatre closed the door behind him, completely unconcerned. Noin sighted. "I still say you are too jumpy, Zechs."

"One can never be too cautious. We need to be prepared, and when else will we have such an opportunity to speak with them all at once?" Zechs asked gruffly. "They should know of my worries, and be prepared."

"So you're all ready to forgive Heero? You certainly had a change of heart rather quickly."

"Lady Une was good enough to remind me that I did the same thing. I think perhaps I haven't given Heero a proper chance after all. I do believe that he is an intelligent young man, and I have much respect for him. I keep hoping that he wasn't acting as foolishly and selfishly as I first believed."

Noin flopped down on the bed and looked up at the vast ceiling. "This is a very nice place"

"Naturally. Quatre is a very attentive caretaker."

"I still say they were all too young, too pure."

Zechs looked down at his wife. He knew she was talking about all the pilots, not just Quatre. But he disagreed with Noin on some of these things. She strove to protect all of her men, every one that she ever trained. However, Zechs took the more realistic view that they made the choice to fight and knew the danger of death. Thus, he would not worry about them. They knew what could happen, they were old enough, hence it was unreasonable to feel responsible for their welfare. She believed that the pilots shouldn't have had to fight, that it was unfair. Zechs believed that because of their considerable skills, it was necessary for them to fight and, though young, they were still old enough to decide for themselves what they believed in, what they were willing to fight for.

"Let's go find Quatre," was his only reply.

Noin nodded and pulled herself up. It took a little while, but eventually they found Quatre settled among masses of paper work. Zechs felt a twinge of sympathy looking on this mess. He was a doer, not an office man.

"Hi!" Quatre stood up cheerfully as they came in. "Have a seat over there, if you like."

"Thank you," Noin smiled back. She was the one with social graces, Zechs could put them on if he desired, but he would quietly follow her lead the majority of the time. He was perfectly content with that.

"You said you wanted to speak with me about something before the others came?" the blond man prompted.

"I'll be very brief. We're getting a little worried about the political situation. We're starting to see a few signs of...turmoil," Zechs told him quickly.

Quatre nodded with full attention. 

"I plan on mentioning this to the others, just as a quiet warning. I don't think we'll go straight into a war very soon, however, we cannot be too careful. I want the others to just be en guarde. But I need you to do something for me."

"Name it. As long as it's not illegal!"

"I need you to watch the economic realm. We've got the political and military areas covered. But we don't have anyone reliable to watch the stock markets, who's buying what, which businesses are growing fastest, and so on. If we will have a war, the signs will be all over the place and the sooner we see where the problem will be and with whom, the better. Again, I don't think it will be any time soon, but I think it best if we keep our eyes peeled."

Quatre nodded. "I understand. Don't worry. I'll take care of everything."

"Thank you."

"Keys?"

"This is so stupid. Honestly! You aren't my mother!"

Kieko looked at Huy, startled. "Don't you talk to me like that!"

Huy just shut his mouth and glared at her.

"You know how terrible you are with remembering to pack things. I'm only doing what I do every time you leave! And it's saved you more than a few times!" Her voice was a bit sharper than she'd meant it to be.

"Well maybe I've never appreciated it, and this is the first time I've let you know!" he retorted.

Kieko looked as if she'd swallowed something very large and nasty. "Do you want me to drive you to the shuttleport or not?"

Huy said nothing, but looked very hard at her.

That was when Tai walked in. He saw the way they were looking at each other and knew immediately that this wasn't the usual cat fight. He very quietly left the room again.

Kieko continued to stare at Huy, willing an answer from him. "If this is about Tai and him not telling you about that girl, then don't take it out on me. He said he'd tell you about it as soon as he could. Why can't you just trust him? He's never lied to you before. He must have a good reason for not telling you."

But Huy continued his stony glare. "Fine. Be that way. I don't know what's gotten into you lately, but you are not acting like the man I agreed to marry. I'll drive the two of you in and pick you up, but if you are still acting like this after Christmas, that drive will be our last together," she told him in a deathly whisper. "And I don't think I'll be visiting either."

Huy's mouth firmed up into a hard, ragged line. He still wasn't saying anything.

"All right then. I'll go find Tai. I'm sure he's been packed for the past week." And she stormed off.

Huy watched her back then turned to his bag and started violently shoving clothes and books into it. 

What did she know anywaywhy did she even matterhe got along fine without her before, and he would now_._

His anger was powerfully beating against his chest. He would not let this get to him. She did not matter. He didn't want to marry his mother anyway. Stupid.

"Huy"

"WHAT!" he flew at the intruder. Tai looked calmly at his brother. Huy could feel his lower jaw jutting out in fury. "What do you want?"

"We need to leave in about ten minutes if we're to get you there in time."

"Hah! We'll be getting there forty-five minutes early! That's more than enough time!" Huy yelled. "Stupid mother-hen" he muttered.

But a strong hand grabbed his shoulder and fiercely turned him. "What now?" Huy glared again. And Huy was on the floor, clutching at his stomach. After a moment of thinking, he realized that the culprit must have been his brother's fist. "Wh-ywhat did y-you do tha-that for?" he stuttered, struggling for breath.

"Don't you ever, EVER call Kieko any type of name. That is the number one rule with someone you love that much. No matter how angry you are, you NEVER call her by any name but her own or one of endearment."

Huy looked up at his brother with large eyes. He'd never seen such a furious look in his brother's eyes. He'd seen murder in them when he'd been kidnapped and Tai got him out, he'd seen anguish and sadness, but he'd never seen such unadulterated fury. 

Tai spoke again in the careful, firm voice. He wasn't yelling, it would have been a million times less frightening if he had. Tai reminded Huy of Ryuzou. "Don't you DARE move a hand to strike her in anger. Don't you ever dishonor her name by speaking ill of her to any person. Do not stoop to childish silences because of injured pride or temporary hate, because it is temporary and in a day or two you'll have completely forgotten this. It's not worth it to sacrifice your friendship. And if you think it is, then you are not mature enough to be married. You will never get along perfectly with any person, so you must love them enough to get through it."

Huy felt the waning anger rise up again, but this time directed at Tai AND Kieko. "If-if you like her so much, if things are so great," Huy whispered harshly, "then why didn't you marry her? You knew her long before I did. Why didn't _you?_"

"Because she's not for me. Period. But she is for you. But if you treat her so ill, then you don't deserve her."

Huy flew up to face Tai. "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY _BROTHER!_ WHY ARE YOU DEFENDING HER? HUH? WHY ARE YOU SIDING WITH JUST A FRIEND INSTEAD OF ME?"

"Huy."

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO THIS! I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS!" His eyes were unfocused in a completely irrational anger. "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!"

"Then pack your bag. We need to go." 

Huy glared at his unflinching brother.

They loaded their things in the car and Kieko climbed into the driver's seat. Huy, very obviously, climbed into the back. Tai gave no sign that he was disturbed by anything and sat in the back with Huy. The car was deathly silent. Huy was furious at both of them, Kieko was furious with Huy, and Tai, so it appeared, was completely unconcerned with anything at all. That just made Huy even more angry.

Kieko flipped on the radio to cover up the tension, but it only made things worse. 

"Turn it off" Huy growled.

"Why? Do you have something to say to me?" Kieko demanded, looking sharply at him through the rear-view mirror.

"No. I just hate this music."

"It never bothered you before," she retorted, not doing a very good job of disguising her snarl.

"Well, I just never complained about it before!"

"Fine." And she flicked it off. The car was silent again. Huy glared out the window, Kieko fumed at the road, and Tai just leaned back and closed his eyes.

They unloaded at the port, then. "That everything?" Kieko asked.

"Yes. Thank you," Tai answered her. Huy was looking anywhere but them. "Have a good Christmas," he said and picked up his bag. Huy was already dancing around ready to spring away.

Kieko glared at Huy's wiggling figure. "Whatever" And she climbed back into the car and was gone.

"Give me my ticket," Huy held out his hand the second Kieko had disappeared. 

Tai looked hard at his brother as he fished around for it. Huy grabbed it from Tai's hand as soon as he had it out. Without a word, he stormed off to check in.

Tightening his grip on his own bag, Tai grit his teeth and went into the port. There were already two families between he and Huy for the line, but maybe that was best. Give Huy a few days to cool off, then maybe he could get a little information out of his brother. They play fought all the time, but never like this. It worried him. How could such a relationship go bad so quickly? But Tai knew on thing for certain, if Huy ever wanted Kieko again, he could never, ever call her any name or strike her in anyway. She'd been hurt by just about every other man she'd ever known and Huy could not do it either. It disturbed Tai that his brother could act in such a way. He was full of emotion, but this was ridiculous.

By the time Tai got through all the lines, Huy was long gone. So Tai slouched up to his port and pulled out a text book for next semester. He only had one more semester then he'd be in medical school. The applications were murder and he imagined the schools were even worse.

He put the book away. Who was he kidding? He couldn't concentrate on anything. There was too much else in his mind. Huythis visit. He wasn't worried about the explanation. He knew he had a valid one. He'd explain it and if they did not accept it, oh well. He did not much care. 

Propping his elbows on his knees, Tai rested his chin in his hands. _Why didn't he just tell Huy who Deirdre was and stop this entire mess! _It was obvious that was why Huy was so edgy, so it could be said that Tai was the root of this problem.

But he couldn't tell, not when she was so close to coming back. He could not endanger her in any way. He could not let anything happen. So why couldn't Huy just trust him? He'd trusted him with so much else. Was it just because this was a girl they were talking about?

Tai rubbed his temples furiously. 

"Well, hello. I didn't expect to find you here, Heero Yuy," a silky woman's voice sounded above Tai's head.

Tai looked up to a very blond girl desperately in need of an eyebrow plucking. "I'm not Heero Yuy. I'm Tai Iwasato."

"Oh, of course," she said meekly and folded herself gracefully into the seat next to him.

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I heard about a little party through the grape vine on L-4, so I thought I'd go. My journey was a bit long though, so I have a switch-over here. My lay-over was about an hour. How about you?" 

Tai gave her a dumb look.

She grinned, then laughed her delicate lady laugh. "Oh course! So the rumors are true? You're going to defend your honor."

"You could say that. And you are still obsessed with battles."

She laughed again. "Come now, we're not teenagers any more. Give me more credit than that! No, actually, I wanted to see Quatre. His sister, one of them anyway, told me that he'd be there. So I'm going."

Tai nodded. _Great,_ he thought. _I just hope she's grown out of some of her dementia too_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N I really wish I had more time to write, but I need to pass my classes so I can get into my desired post-grad programs. Ug. Anyway, I hope you are all still keeping with me! I'm trying! Pinky-swear!! Enjoy and feel free to email me with any questions/comments/outbursts/etc. I love feed back! Toodles for now, Tygerlilee


	11. Wreckage

Chapter Eleven

Wreckage

Duo turned over and stretched his hands out behind his head and toes the opposite direction and far as he could. His spine cracked its entire length. Hilde groaned beside him. "You're awake" she mumbled.

"Hehewhat gave that away?"

"Oh, something about that bone-rattling routine of yours." Then she sat up and rubbed her eyes. The baby kicked. "And good morning to you too," she told her swollen stomach.

Duo grinned. "Well, no point sitting around here! I want breakfast! Let's go!" he cheered.

Hilde sighed and pulled herself out of bed. "Okay, but I'm getting dressed first. I'm not prancing around Quatre's home in my sleep-ware."

"But I like your sleep-ware very much," Duo told her earnestly.

"Maybe. But you love me any way you can get me." She patted his cheek. "Okay, where is that stupid shirtI had it yesterday."

Her husband sighed and lay back down, popping every bone he could without the use of his hands. He guessed he was up to around a hundred of them. 

"Well, I'm ready!" Hilde announced. Duo grinned again and hopped out of bed, still in his boxers and baggy T-shirt. "You aren't going to get dressed, are you?" Hilde half asked. Duo shook his head vigorously with a large grin. She sighed. After several years of marriage, she'd learned to pick her battles, and this was one she would never win and certainly wasn't worth the effort. "Okay. Let's go feed the bottomless pit," she told her belly in a baby-talk voice.

In the kitchen Trowa, Zechs, and Noin were already seated. "Mornin' all!" Duo called.

Trowa nodded, Zechs didn't say anything, and Noin returned the greeting.

Duo looked around and decided that something was a little odd with the picture. Three people gathered around a table eating in a house that wasn't theirs. "Where's Quatre? Shouldn't the perfect host be here?"

"He's answering the door. I think Wufei and Sally are here." Zechs said.

"Hmm." Duo folded his arms across his chest thoughtfully.

"What?" Noin asked.

"He's just debating on whether or not he wants to see Wufei. He's been calling and pestering Duo for a couple months now," Hilde explained, taking a seat and helping herself to an orange that was in the bowl in the center of the table.

"You won't have to worry about that too much longer. Heero should be here this evening," Zechs told them.

"As long as he doesn't wimp out of this," Wufei said harshly as he entered, followed by their smiling host and Sally.

"Wufei, just promise you won't attack him until AFTER he's given his explanation," Sally pleaded, kneading her forehead.

Zechs cleared his throat. "Wufei, Sally, take a seat."

Wufei snorted. "You telling me what to do?"

"I am your superior."

"Hah! I'm off duty!"

"Wufei, just sit down," Sally said as she pushed him down. "Are you going to finally tell us what you've been so worried about?"

Zechs started to speak, but Noin interrupted. "I thought you were going to wait for everyone to get here!"

"Everyone is herewell, except Heero."

"Don't you want him to hear?"

"If my suspicions are correct, he won't want to hear what I've got to say." Noin wasn't sure what he meant by that, but she decided to let it slide. Zechs could just repeat himself when Heero came if necessary. "Anyway, I just wanted toissue a little warning," Zechs began.

Trowa sat up straighter and Hilde looked worried. "Warning?" Her voice was nervous.

"Yes. I, we, the Preventors have been watching the signs. We're starting to fear another...serious political situation which could lead to violence," He explained. "We're all working hard against it and it's only in the most infant of stages, but I'm just saying, keep your eyes and ears open. That's really all I have to say, other than I might need your help later on if things do get serious. You can expect a call from me then."

"How will we know when you'll call us?" Trowa asked.

"Easy. You'll start hearing about various situations on the news," Zechs said simply.

"THAT'S what you were so serious about?" Duo groaned.

"THAT'S all? I think that's a pretty big that's all', Duo. After everything we've all done to fight this, we'll probably have another war on our hands!" Noin looked exasperated with his attitude.

Duo folded his arms and rolled his eyes at everyone. "Yah, but it's not as if we didn't already know that! There's always a threat to peace, as long as humans breathe and have freewill, there's a danger and we've always got to be fighting it. It's not like one day we win a war and never have to fight again! It doesn't happen like that. And if you think it will, you're just deluding yourself."

"He's right. The only real question here is when will we be required to actually get our hands dirty," Trowa agreed.

Zechs smiled. "I'd almost forgotten who I was dealing with. Then I suggest we cease our worry for now and relax until Yuy gets his butt here and explains his death to us."

"I think you guys are all taking this too lightly" Noin said, almost to herself.

"But Miss Noin, what else can we do? There is no definitive group to fight, no battles, not yet. All we can do is prepare ourselves," Quatre reminded her, very reasonably. "Just try to enjoy yourself here! This is vacation!"

"Exactly! So now its time for breakfast!" came Duo's very emphatic remark from behind a plate.

Huy still felt furious when he got off the shuttle, but decided it best to disguise his anger when in his family's presence. Yachi gave him her usual neck-breaking greeting. He returned with his usual "Gerroofff!!" which made her very happy.

His father, his mother, and Yachi had come to pick him up. Toshi was with his wife and two children at the house already. Gina would be arriving tomorrow. They piled into the car, all the while Yachi chatted happily about everything from Christmas presents to babies to algebra.

"So, how's Tai? Was he tired after those exams? Or excited to see his friends?" Ai interrupted Yachi's stream of words and Huy wished that she hadn't. 

"He was same as always," told her stiffly.

She smiled. "That's good. How about Kieko? How is she doing?"

To Huy's surprise, he didn't blow up but was able to answer reasonably that she was tired of school and anxious for the break. His words felt a little constricted, his chest heavy. The drive seemed to last forever and Huy breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the house. 

When they opened the door, two little people pounced upon Huy. "Uwlcle! Uwlcle!" a tiny boy called as he pulled at Huy's hair, the little round face grinning with his tiny baby teeth.

"It's not uwlcle'," the other little person informed the other. "It's ucle'!"

"Uwlcle," the other insisted.

"Ucle!" Umiko was shaking her tiny fists in anger, dark pig-tales flying as she moved her head.

"Uwlcle." The rather large infant plopped down heavily on the floor, his diaper easily padding his fall. It appeared he'd been having either apricots or carrots for lunch judging from the color of his blue T-shirt.

"Ucle!!"

Huy just grinned and picked them under his arms. "Well, I have a surprise for you two!"

They both quit talking and stared at him with large eyes. "What?" Umiko asked eagerly. She now held her hands behind her back, looking intently at her ucle,' playing with the hem of her purple and pink paisley dress.

"A great, bigbear hug!!"

The two children shrieked with glee and tore down the hall, one on all fours and the other stumbling on two, Huy hot on their heels. They landed in the living room, Huy held one child under each arm and began his torture. 

"Huy Iwasato! What are you doing to my children?" as sharp voice yelled down the hall.

Huy grinned at the kids. _Enter momma-bear_. "We're just spending a little quality time together!"

"Right," Hanako, Toshi's wife, said sarcastically from the doorway, hands on hips. Toshi came to stand behind her and wrapped his arms around her neck and shoulders. Huy held the baby upside down as he blew obscene noises on his stomach, the little girl clung onto his neck from behind calling "Piggy-back! Piggy-back!"

"Oh come on. He won't hurt them. Look, they're laughing!" Toshi insisted. "He's just playing with them like I used to play with him!"

"That's what I'm afraid of" Toshi grinned and rested his head on her shoulder for a second then left. But Hanako leaned against the doorframe, her tall, thin frame presenting a fairly imposing picture--Toshi was the tall one in the family and Hanako was just a little shorter than Toshi. 

But she didn't seem too afraid for her children's safety because shortly after that she disappeared. 

After a few more minutes little Kitutukitti got bored and crawled away to find something else to amuse himself, his oversized diaper crinkling with each movement, mumbling his baby talk down the hall. But Umiko kept herself firmly attached to Huy.

He scooted her up onto his back and bounced up and down the hall. She giggled madly. "Umiko, why don't you come with me," Ai suddenly appeared. "Uncle Huy's very tired and needs to rest. He's been traveling all day!"

"Oh I'm fine, Mom." He grinned at her. She looked doubtful. 

"Okay. But stick close. Dinner will be in about ten minutes."

He nodded and went bouncing up and down the stairs. At least Umiko still loved him He couldn't help but let his thoughts drift. He walked down the hall, but then he stopped suddenly and picked up a picture book that was sitting on an end table in the living room. It fell open to a group picture, the family just after Tai had joined them. Everyone was gathered around the kitchen table, and Tai was sitting, looking very thin and white. Huy had almost forgotten how ill he'd been then–so thin, wasting away like that.

"Tha's Daddy," Umiko informed him, pointing one sticky finger at Toshi's smiling face. It was odd to think that only four years ago Toshi had been alone and between school and working. Now he was married with two children, the very precocious ten-month-old and very active two and a half-year-old. Huy privately suspected that Hanako had gotten pregnant on their honeymoon, and they'd told everyone they wanted to wait a little while on having a family.

Huy put the book down but Umiko clambered over to sit beside him and demanded "More pic-ichures!" Her little fingers had trouble gripping the pages so Huy took over and turned them for her to reveal many memories frozen in film.

"DINNER!" Toshi belted out from the kitchen.

Huy grinned at the living memory. Ai always asked Toshi to call people to dinner, he always yelled, and she would scold him for yelling. It was tradition. 

"We better go, time for dinner," he told a disappointed Umiko.

So they hopped off the couch and joined the rest of the family. Huy grinned his usual grin all through the messy dinner. It was all so familiar, the spilled drink, flying napkins, pounding little silverware, the horrendous dishes after. As the little ones were sent to bed, Huy felt himself yawning and Ai was practically pushing him into bed.

He admitted that sleeping would feel good. So he went to his room and shut the door, shut out the world. He realized he was alone for the first time all day and his plastered grin fell as he looked at the two empty beds. _Tai_

It had been a long time since he had cried, really cried. But now, as he stood their looking at his brother's vacant bed, they rolled down his face, and sob rose up in his chest. Huy ran to a bed and grabbed a pillow, stuffing it hard over his mouth to smother the noise. He couldn't stop it. He felt so lost.

He screwed his eyes shut tight and envisioned that morning. Kieko's furious gaze, Tai's impassive one. _What have I done? _Kieko's words flew back to haunt him. _How could I have been so STUPID!!! I should trust Tai! She was trying to help me see that! And I had to get like that! What do I DO?_

Then he lowered the pillow and looked at the wall hopelessly. _What if Kieko really won't come back to me? What if she sticks to this and won't come back?_

Huy flung himself onto the bottom buck, Tai's bed, too tired to climb up, and buried himself in the sheets, tears flowing freely. He didn't dare turn off the light–then he really would be all alone.

Tai stood on the corner of the street with his bag waiting for a cab to stop for him. He heard a tut-tuting behind him. "What's wrong Dorothy?"

"You'll never get anyone's attention just STANDING there!" She walked to the corner and waved very obviously at the oncoming cars, her skirt riding up a she waved her arm. She was wearing a rather short skirt-suit, sleek and black, as usual. A yellow cab screeched to a stop beside her. Her hair fanned out behind her as she turned to flash a smile at Tai. "Well, what are you waiting for? Open the door for me!" 

Tai jumped a little in surprise, but obeyed. She gracefully folded herself into the car and Tai followed. Dorothy leaned forward to give the address and the driver nodded, then she relaxed against the seat and smiled up at Tai again.

"We're almost there! So tell me, Mr. Iwasato, are you going to reveal your resurrection potion to us all? I'm sure it could come in veryhandy."

He wasn't sure if he should dignify that with an answer, so he shrugged and stared out the window.

But his silence didn't seem to bother her because she kept chatting about this and that–mostly recent press conferences and parties, things that did not interest him in the least. Well, the press conferences could have been interesting had she not been repeating things he'd already known. Relena followed them as well.

The cab pulled in front of a huge, white building. It's looked a bit like a department store from the outside, but that was how things on the colonies were built. There was so little space, things had to be crammed together. This place actually was very unusual–it had a bit of a yard and local parks were situated around it giving the impression of isolation and with the recent snow-fall and chilly temperature, the area was virtually deserted. But it still wasn't anything compared to what people built on Earth.

Dorothy walked up to the door and rung the bell, beckoning Tai to hurry. He'd been spending too much time taking in his surroundings for her taste. 

"Heero! You're finally here!" Quatre smiled out the door but then it was very apparent that he had not expected Dorothy. "And Miss Dorothyhow nice!"

"Oh, don't be so formal Quatre. We're all friends!" She smiled prettily and kissed his cheek. "Why don't you show us where we are to be staying." She linked one arm around his and half guided him up the stairs. It seemed she was very familiar with the house already.

Tai watched Quatre's face carefully. He looked as if he was torn between a foolish grin and disappointment. They certainly had an odd relationship. Tai wasn't sure he understood them at all.

At the end of the Eve wars, Quatre and Trowa had left Dorothy with some memorable parting words, and it had affected her for a while. Or at least kept her alive. But then she reverted back to her sly self. No one knew what she really wanted, what she was shooting for. All they knew was that she involved herself in everyone's lives and had dug up more dirt about more people than every other politician combined. Tabloids would love to have her on their staff. But she would not agree to work. She was having too much fun spending her inheritance and bouncing around to every main event. Tai suspected that she was looking out for battles to go watch. 

There was no real evidence of a relationship between Dorothy and Quatre that extended beyond the platonic, but it was obvious that they were fairly close. And the few times Dorothy had been out of control, only Quatre could stop her. As far as Tai could tell, they were just very good friends.

He sighed from behind them and braced himself for a long, drawn out argument.

Wufei leaned down on his hands and breathed in slowly, trying to decide his next move. He was getting restless. After working over-time with the Preventors for so long, sitting, and doing nothing was a struggle. Many people would get tired doing the work he did, but he could not stand being home–there was nothing for him at home. So he might as well be at work. He lived for it, and lived for new battles and aligning things with his sense of justice, fixing the world in a manner of speaking. 

And so Heero had fallen into the ranks of the weak. Wufei couldn't wait to hear his explanation. It popped a huge hole in his ideals having him fall–he wanted answers. But in the meantime, he would sit here, playing chess with Trowa.

"Ya' know, we're really going to have to find something to do. We're only going to be here a couple days, but we can't just sit around. It's vacation time! We should be clubbing or something!" Duo whined.

Hilde lowered the magazine she was reading and glared at him. "Do you honestly think that _I_ would go clubbing in this state? And you are not leaving me alone either!"

"It was just one suggestion" he said meekly. Wufei smirked at the little spat and turned back to the game. It was moving painfully slowly.

"Duo, quite frankly, I'm enjoying doing absolutely nothing. It's the first time I've been able to in a while," Sally joined in, looking up from her laptop. Zechs was dozing on the couch with Noin, who nodded in agreement, leaning against him. 

Duo shrugged again. "Well, I was just expecting a little more lively of a group. But if hangin' is good with everyone else."

"The only thing I need is for you to shut your mouth," Wufei mumbled. "You've been reading all day, Sally. What the heck is that anyway? No work." He leaned over to see what she was reading, but she raised it above her head so that he couldn't see it.

"None of your." But footsteps echoing through the hall stopped her mid-sentence. 

"Hey, Quatre–what'da'ya say we livin' things up a bit eh?" Duo asked without turning around.

"I think things are going to be plenty livened up now. Heero's here," he explained cheerfully.

Sally snapped up into the upright position from her leaning chair and Zechs opened one eye to look over at his host. "Where is he?"

Dorothy swayed into the room to answer. "He'll be coming soon. He was just putting his bag down."

"You're not here with him are you?" Wufei asked bluntly. Not that womanshe was nothing but trouble.

Dorothy laughed. "Heavens no! We met on the shuttle. I heard about this little gathering and thought it might be interesting." Wufei snorted obviously.

But then they all stopped talking as Heero walked in. There was a short silence as they all seized him up which was broken quickly by Duo. "Take a seat! I think it's story-telling time."

Heero nodded and took and empty chair from the table Trowa and Wufei were sitting at in the corner. They looked at him expectantly but Heero just looked at them blankly for a moment. To Wufei, he looked just as he'd expected. Taller, over-all just looked a little older. But the small, dark shadows under his eyes and the fine line between his eyes betrayed worry, and stress that he'd never shown before. 

Then suddenly words flowed out of Heero. He explained about finding his family, wanting to protect them, wanting to be normal. He apologized for worrying them and lying to them but maintained the he would make the same decision again if given the chance. Then he looked down at his hands but did not look ashamed, only boldly facing the consequences of his deliberate decision. He was not attempting to lessen the magnitude of what he'd done, nor was he making excuses. He looked more as if he were facing a jury, and was awaiting the verdict.

"That was wonderful, Mr. Iwasato!" Dorothy clapped merrily.

Anger swelled up in Wufei. If Heero wanted such a thing in life, he should have chosen a different path. But he hadn't. He'd chosen to protect the colonies and he could not just stop that now because he had all these mushy feelings. Yet an odd lump that would not dissolve filled his stomach.

"You're mad woman," Wufei snapped. "And you!" he turned on Heero. "You are just as much of a weakling as I thought! You let silly feelings get in the way of justice! You could have been helping maintain peace. The Preventors could have been using you. You have beliefs but no conviction! Such ideals are pointless unless you act upon them and never stop."

"I find that the best way for me to help maintain peace is by upholding Relena's ideals in my everyday behavior, not in battle as I once did. I am no longer useful as a soldier; I will never kill again."

"And how pray-tell are you upholding her ideals?" Zechs asked quietly from the couch before Wufei could manage an angry retort.

Heero turned at looked directly as Zechs. "During the Barton incident we all realized that peace was not brought about by fighting but by convincing the people to live peacefully. It might take fighting to convince them, but it's not the only way. By living my own life peacefully, I can become one more person who refuses to fight. And hopefully I can influence a few around me. That is my contribution and as a single person among billions, it is the most I can do."

Noin, Sally, and Quatre all smiled broadly at him. Trowa nodded and Duo grinned. Dorothy looked fit to sing. Wufei could feel eyes upon him and looked over at Zechs. "We'll see if justice will allow you to live such a way, taking the weak and easy way" Wufei said ominously. But Zechs smirked with a disgustingly satisfied, smug look. And Tai nodded back.

Wufei flung himself back into his seat, glaring at the chessboard. The others were eagerly asking Heero entirely too many questions, while he answered calmly. But he felt his frustration and anger burn. Finally he couldn't stand the friendly chatter any more and excused himself curtly, striding up to his room.

It was starting to grow dark outside, and cast cold shadows around the room of the large, four-poster and dresser. He had to do something, anything, to distract himself. He was getting jittery. He plugged his laptop into the wall and sat stiffly at a large, dark cherry wood desk in the corner. As he sped through several files, he noticed a file name he didn't recognize, or couldn't remember. 

Wufei was many things. Stubborn, careless, inconsiderate some called him–okay, many called him. But one thing he was was organized and deliberate. And he could not remember this file. Clicking it open he found gasped softly. Meiran's death certificate.

Closing his eyes, Wufei shut the computer's top and held his face steady, devoid of all emotion. He never proved himself worthy of herworthy to be called her husband.

She had been so strong, and had done what she wished. The flowers had survived. He almost laughed at her silly feminine nature. What would she want him to dowhat would make her proud of him?

He thought of Heero's decision, his love of his family etched into his now softened features. He allowed lines and thoughts to imprint themselves on him. But feeling did not necessarily make one weak, only if it prevented one from what they needed to do. And apparently Heero had changed his mind. But was it because of his family that he had given up? Or had he ever even started? Was he, Wufei, merely willing himself to believe his path to be correct for everyone. Heero chose a different path–so did that make Heero weak, or Wufei? Or were both ways correct?

Wufei snapped open the computer again, staring at the evidence of his wife's death, willing her name, typed into the form's blank, to answer him. She was the one who'd proved herself worthy. She alone had the right to determine this. But nothing came, and Wufei sat in the dark room laughing at himself attempting to catch clairvoyant vibes.

Kieko opened the apartment door and flung the car keys on the counter. It was dark and cold in the little room. Julie had already gone home, and in high spirits. Exams were over; who wouldn't be cheerful? It was Christmas, the time for family and love and giving.

But now she felt pure acid eating away at her. He was everywhere. She could not escape him. Just like every other bastard who'd rammed into her life, he flung himself in and the disappeared having marked his territory. A pair of shoes he'd left, a textbook, the Christmas cookies they'd made together.

Slamming her bedroom door behind her, Kieko turned to her room, but he followed her in. A picture on the wall, his T-shirt she'd borrowed on the floor, the ring on her hand. She growled at it and yanked it off, flinging it to the ground, then she grabbed her coat and sprinted from the apartment. He wouldn't own her. No one would, ever.

The streets were cold and dark, and lonely. Snow swirled around her and all she could see was his face. _Why? Everything had been so perfect.what happened?_

She sat down on a corner by the fountain. Then ironic laughter spilled from her lips. This was where he'd saved her life, where Tai had come and picked her up, and taken care of her. If only he was here now.he was on the shuttle now, and she had no idea how to contact him.

And insane desire to talk to him welled within her. It consumed her. He'd answered all her questions once, saved her life once, if only he could again. If only he could pick up the pieces that were her meager existence and save her once more.

Deirdreshe might know. Kieko ran to the student center. It was closed, dark and empty just like the rest of campus. Everyone had gone home. A lone pay phone stood outside the brick building.

Kiki answered the phone and it was for Deirdre. As usual.

"Oh, hello Kieko! What's going on?" Kiki stalked off to the bedroom to study some more. Christmas was a horrible time of year. It always reminded her what she did not have and everything she hated about her life.

Deirdre's voiced faded a little as she shut the door, but it was still clear enough to understand.

"Tai's number? I don't know. I thought he was just going home.he went to visit some friends? He didn't leave you a numberwell, he probably left a number with his parents in case they needed to contact him. But I'd try emailing him–did he bring his laptop? He has a vid-phone on it. That would be your best betlet me get it for you!" There was a scratching of paper as Deirdre rummaged around the room.

Kiki turned on her radio, plugged in the earphones, turned over to face the wall, and stuck her nose in a book. It was a while later when Deirdre came into the room. Kiki hardly heard her come in she was so absorbed in her self-pity and her studies.

"Kiki, why do you think Tai didn't tell me he was visiting some friends? I probably know them."

Reluctantly, she pulled the earphones down enough to answer without shouting. "He probably didn't think of it. Probably didn't realize it would matter. That's how guys are." She did not feel like dealing with Deirdre's problems right now. The music pounded into her brain and she felt herself falling into an apathetic haze. All that existed now was her book. It was her world, her parameters.

She heard the bedroom door close softly as Deirdre gave up on conversation with her.

Kiki leaned on one elbow to look out the window. It was snowing again and the sky was dark and cold. She pressed her face against the glass and breathed a cloud onto it, her lips marking a hole in the center, a dot for her nose. A little girl walked by, and on each hand clung an adult, a man and a woman. They were laughing and the elder two swung the little girl up into the air, her black pig-tails streaming out behind her, white flakes framing her little peach head, tinged with a cheerful blush.

She flung herself away from the window and threw on the earphones again, turning the volume as high as it would go.

They were all arguing politics again. Listening to the Gundam pilots debate was always entertaining to her. They came from such different backgrounds, yet they had the commonality of tragedy. And none of them wanted pity. In truth, they became violent if someone offered pity. But Dorothy could understand that. It was demeaning and merely brought painful memories to the forefront of one's mind. If someone else told you how bad your life was, it was very easy to fall into a disgusting display of self-pity. That was the worst. No, it was better to avoid all of that unnecessary baggage.

"Well, I'd prefer not to talk about this anymore," Wufei was saying.

"Why not?" That was Sally. "It's better to discus this now while we're all here." Heero was looking slightly bored as he watched everyone. It was amazing how much more expressive he seemed.

"Because we have a walking Inquirer with us. Anything we say will be all over the place within five minutes. I'm not making any serious plans with her around!"

Dorothy snapped to attention. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, that while some of us work to establish and maintain peace, others just prance around with nothing better to do than cause trouble and spread discord for her own amusement."

"Not too unlike someone who plays Satan to manipulate others," she snapped acidly. Then she stood up abruptly and stalked out. What did he know anyway. He did not understand her. Did he think she did not realize how pointless her life was? Did he think she enjoyed that? Enjoyed that the only contribution she made to the world was spying? That man made her ill.

Her first instinct was to run to her bedroom, but that resembled a sulky child a bit too much for her taste. The billiard room would do much better.

She flipped on the light and seated herself on a leather couch, but quickly stood up again to pace. She was too angry. The floor-to-ceiling windows were covered with deep green and black striped curtains sealing off all natural light. If that's what it could be called.

A soft footstep startled her and she whirled around. Zechs. She'd expected Quatre, or perhaps Trowa. But not him.

"What do you want?"

Zechs looked sternly down at her, but then walked up to her and stared straight through her. But she would not quail under his gaze. She would not let him see her thoughts either.

"You need a purpose," he said simply.

"Beg your pardon?" she laughed out. "I don't think you are in the position to tell me anything, especially not like that!" Drat that manmust he understand her so well? It wasn't fair.

"Your reputation upsets you. You need something useful to do. What is worth your time? Or do you even know, Dorothy?" He was cool as ice, as usual. With a smirk, Dorothy wondered if Noin could even get some heat out of him. She was such a warm, kind person. He was a cool pickle. Interesting combination.

"You don't know anything about me. You have no right to tell me this." She felt like a teenager being instructed by a guidance councilor. She was not fond of this feeling.

"I understand you better than anyone, even Quatre."

Dorothy felt this was presumptuous of him. "Than what am I? If you understand me so well." The nerve of some men. 

But he smirked. "All right. You are a little girl. Your mother died before your memory began. Your father felt battle was more important than even his little daughter, and he lost his life to it. You grew up knowing your Grandfather, who was not much different. War had consumed all that you ever had, all that you are. It's understandable, your morbid fascination with it. You studied it, worked hard. Now you are a skilled pilot and fighter. Undeniably a bit shaky on strategy, but with a little work, could become brilliant. You are unsurpassed with gaining intelligence. These are not normal pursuits or achievements for a teenager. You are only alive during battle and war, and only feel the anger and hate and a little intrigue. If it was so important to your family, it must be to you.

"When you fight, when you watch from the ground, you feel unnatural exhilaration, for you see your life before you. Like an orphan longing to know of his parentage, you see them in the fight. You see yourself imprinted on every dying soldier's face, the blood and pain and hate and anger.You see the anger you feel for your loss there. But you are powerless because the thing, which robbed you, is but an undefined act, not a specific person. So you wander, fighting, trying to defy death itself, to avenge your childhood and innocence, to take revenge upon war itself.

"But there is no war currently. You were lost at the end of the Eve wars. Where would you go? What would you do? You attempted to become normal, Noin helped you. But that was not enough. After some time, you ran away and became what you are. But it's a lonely, pitiful, pointless existence. You despise yourself and all that you represent. You are another lost soldier who lives for that battle, the final battle which defines you, much like myself."

Dorothy stifled her gasp of surprise, but looked at him with large eyes. How could he know so much? It wasn't fair. No one should know, could know, that much about her. "It's not trueyou can't know" She stepped back involuntarily. Turning and running to the window, she felt a burning sensation in her eyes. But then she calmed herself, and breathed slowly again.

"Okay. You've got me. I've always lived in battle. I find peace tiresome and a little boring. Or at least I used to. You already know of my father and grandfatherwars, pain, deathit's all I've ever known, taking everything I ever valued away from me. II realized that as a teenager I must have seemed a littleunbalanced, but could you really blame me? I was the spawn of Mars himselfdespised by Venus and laughed at by Pluto. I won't say that life has been particularly unfair to me for it's unfair to everyone." She turned to face him once more. "You say you can help me? I've wanted revenge for the longest time. I wanted to show that I could live, that I could survive it, yet I've longed for death. Tell me, how do you solve that paradox? How can you possibly help me?"

Zechs looked down on her with his ice-blue eyes. "Destroy war."

She laughed sardonically. "Destroy war, he says. True, I would have my revenge then, but I do not pretend to be God. How do you expect to do that? To destroy war, as you say so simply?"

"I don't know if it can ever be finished, but it could be something to dedicate yourself to, to work on, give you a path to follow. Become a Preventor. We could use your skills. We could train you even more. Be with people like yourself, and expand your horizons by learning to understand those who are dissimilar. Join us and help us. I admit I used you when I lead the white Fang, but that was only because I could see your usefulness. You were a little girl, easily manipulated for my purposes. But you surprised me with strength and skills I did not expect. What do you think?"

She looked at him, feeling a little dazed. But all that she managed was a quiet, "I'll think about it"

He smiled and nodded. And was out the door. 

"Dorothy may be a horrible gossip, but she is a person, Wufei," Sally snapped angrily as Zechs got up and followed the blond girl out. Quatre stood with his mouth slightly open, looking pained. Trowa looked unmoved, as usual.

Wufei snorted. "Okay, give it to me. Let's hear how insensitive and uncouth I am. I'm waiting."

Sally turned up her nose. "I'm not dignifying that with an answer."

But Heero shrugged and got up, unfolding himself from the book he'd been flipping through. He'd had enough of this talk. He needed a nap.

No one objected as he left and his bedroom was in a nice secluded corner of the house. But when he opened the door, his laptop was blinking at him.

He put it down on his pillow, and lay down on his stomach, getting comfortable before opening the screen.

It was his vid-phone, and there were fifteen messages for him. All fromKieko. He buried his face in his hands. It was undoubtedly about Huy. He dialed and a little screen popped open. Kieko was laying face down on her keyboard. 

"Kieko. You there?" She snapped up and blinked at him. The bags under her eyes descended nearly down to her nose and red squares of the keypad dotted her face.

She rubbed her eyes blearily. "Huy" she said indistinctly.

"No. Tai. What's wrong Kieko?"

She sat up and bit her lip. It trembled a little, and Tai knew what was coming. She howled.

"_What do I do? Why'd Huy have to turn out like that! Everything was going s-s-so well!"_ She was stuttering now, hiccuping from the lack of air. "_I'm so lo-lo-lost! I can't t-talk to him and I-I-I don't want to talk to him-m! He's g-g-g-gone, but I miss him too! I just d-d-don't understand!!!!! He was so p-perfect, everything was perfect and" _She buried her face in her hands and wailed into them. "_Why'd it have to turn out like this"_

"Kieko, he hasn't tried to call you?"

The black blob of her hair shook back and forth.

"He will"

"I don't know if I want him too" she whispered.

"Kieko, you love him. That's why it's got you so upset. But do you honestly think that just because you love someone, everything will be a smooth ride? That you won't have any problems?"

"He called me names" then she gagged at herself. "I sound like a two-year old!"

"No, that is wrong. You should never call your spouse names in anger. And I'll be talking to him about that, believe you me."

"You think I should call him and try to make him come back?" she asked meekly.

"No. I think this is good for him. Give him a good scare, see what he's losing, and let him call you. I'll be home shortly and I'll give him a good kick in the pants for you, literally. Emotional abuse is completely intolerable. He lost his temper because of extenuating circumstances, but he has to know that it is inexcusable. Kieko, Huy loves you. Whatever else he may have said, he loves you and I promise you that he's just as miserable as you. Huy's never been violent, but he does resort to immature name-calling. It's a reflex. I'll talk to him and don't come over for Christmas. If you still want to marry Huy, you can visit during spring break. Just take some time away and I'll work on him. You'll see, everything will be okay. Unless you really don't want him back" 

At that Kieko howled again. "I don't know what I want! I'm just so scared now!!"

"It's going to be okay. I promise. Is Julie there with you?"

"No. She went home."

"And I'm guessing that you don't want to go home."

She shook her head violently.

"You can't stay there alone. You need a friend right now." Kieko sniffled. "Is there anyone you can be with?"

She shook her head again.

"I'll call Deirdre. I bet she would love to spend Christmas with you!"

"Do you think so?" she asked meekly.

"Sure. I'll give her a call."

"Taithank you"

"Sure. Everything will work out for the best in the end. You'll see. I'm going to call Deirdre now. Why don't you see if you can change your flight reservations."

She nodded and blipped out.

Tai rolled over on his bed and sighed. This was so screwed up. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N none currently. Just tired and wornI hope this is coming out okay for you. Toodles for now, Tygerlilee =^,^=


	12. Heart Attack!

Chapter Twelve

Heart Attack!

"Kieko!!"

It was the first smile that had passed her lips in several days. Seeing Deirdre there, cheerful, smiling, with open arms was the most wonderful feeling. Yet she still sprinted to her and started weeping on her shoulder. And here, she'd always thought herself so composed and reserved.

"I'm so sorry Kieko. Tai told me that you and Huy had had a horrible fight. But it will be okay." Deirdre hugging her tightly and spoke in a soft voice. She was such a nice girl. "Now come on. Let's go to my place and we'll find you spot to put your stuff, and then we can talk."

Kieko leaned out of Deirdre's arms and nodded, wiping her tears away. Then she noticed the little sullen faced, Asian girl glaring from behind Deirdre.

"This is my roommate Kiki," she told her cheerfully. Had Kieko the energy and emotion to spare, she would have gawked. Cheerful, happy Deirdre roomed with this malnourished, difficult girl? She had and expression which seemed to say, I dare you to come any closer. It seemed Deirdre had a talent for befriending the difficult–Tai, Kiki. 

"Did you check anything through?" Deirdre was asking.

"Huh? Oh–no. Just this, I mean, this is all I brought." She raised her arm, which was weighted down by her purple, blue, and green tie-dyed duffel bag.

"Then let's go! I'm sorry but we don't have a car right now so we have to use the bus. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all. I'm just glad that I can stay with you."

They left through the automatic double doors and followed a stream of people to a crosswalk. Not too much later, the bus stopped, they paid for their tokens, and hopped on, Deirdre in the lead claiming the back bench so that all three could sit together. Kiki was scowling silently out the window and Deirdre chatted happily. Keiko felt a smile tug at her lips. Deirdre had not been near this chatty during fall break. She must be trying to fill up the silence and make Kieko feel comfortable, which she appreciated. But it was funny. She typically was a quiet, reserved girl and this felt greatly out of character.

The bus finally reached their stop and paused on the South side of a college campus. The three girls and several other people piled off. "We live just a block or two this way," Deirdre told her gesticulating vaguely and they took off. It had stopped snowing and was very cold, but with her pack and moving quickly, and the numbness inside of her, Kieko did not mind.

It was a light gray apartment building with wooden stairs along the side, very simple and conservative, but Kieko felt as if it was the most beautiful building in the world. And the little three-bedroom apartment was cheery and warm. A Picaso-ish gingerbread house sat boldly in the middle of the kitchen table, sugar cones sprouting from it's roof like Viking horns, a little tree filled one corner of the living room. It was very neat and clean.

"Where"

Deirdre grabbed her bag from her and directed her to one of the bedrooms. It was a very colorful room filled with posters of various basketball players and wire-flower arrangements. A stained-glass mobile dangled from the light fixture scattering blue, magenta, and green shadows.

"This is Ianthe and Amada's room. I called Amada and she said she didn't mind you using her bed unless you have head-lice, which I informed her you didn't."

Kieko gave her a weak smile. 

"Would you like to rest a little? Shall I go?"

A lump stopped her cry but Kieko turned to her furiously. "I-I."

Deirdre smiled at her again. And wrapped her in a hug. "Let's sit down and you can tell me about it, that is if you want too"

Kieko's head was buried in her shoulder. It was odd. This girl was her age but acted more as a mother than her own ever had. She was secure and comforting. A good friend. Was this why Tai liked her so much, why he protected her despite everything else, even his own brother's anger? How could she tell Deirdre the truth? Shouldn't she be angry with her for causing it? Yet to fault her for her loss seemed impossible.

But she remembered Tai's face when Deirdre had been there. She would never take that away. Even if the dope didn't realize he was in love, she knew he was. 

"We had a fighthe's been in a horrible mood and was taking it out on me, and I snapped."

Kiki felt a little uncomfortable standing in the doorway watching Deirdre and Kieko, a girl she'd just met. So she turned back and sat in the living room, the Christmas tree lights twinkling at her. This was one screwed up Christmas. Stupid holidays.

She flipped the TV remote over in her hand a couple of times before switching the power button. But nothing good was on.

The phone rung again and Kiki groaned. It would be for Deirdre again. Ug.

"Hello," she answered gruffly.

"Is Kiki there?" her mother's voice asked from very far away.

"Mom?" She hadn't heard her mother's voice in several years.

"How are you? I got your package."

Kiki heard herself gasp. Every year she sent a Christmas present to her mother. On her birthday and Mother's Day she sent a card. She knew it was silly and pointless because her mother would never answer. She never tried a phone call, her mother would not have spoken. It would have been silent breathing one both sides. She was too washed-out, too tired, she lived in a haze and rarely left it long enough to do anything outside of her routine, get up, go to work at a local café, come home, and watch the soaps. This year she had sent a CD of Filipino music and a colorful scarf, the kind her mother had worn when Kiki was little and happy.

"Do you like it?" It was all she could say. Her brain had turned off.

"Very much. Thank you. I just wanted to hear your voice. Iyour father called. He wanted to know about you."

"WHAT!" She woke up at that. After the divorce her father had disappeared. No check. No visit. Now he was up and calling her mother, asking after her. He didn't have the right. "Did you tell that jerk were to stick it?"

"No"

So mother was still her usual self. If it had been Kiki she would have given him an earful, probably put a sailor to shame. That man who dared call himself her father had ruined her life, and her mother's life.

"I would've. Give him my number. I need someone to scream at right now!"

"So you aren't happy?" Something in the way her mother asked that awoke inside Kiki a feeling she hadn't felt in a very long time. It was a kind of simple, pure love and sadness. Despite everything, she loved her mother dearly, and the sadness in her voice, her mother worrying that she might not be happy, made her feel things she had forgotten existed.

"I." What could she say? Was she ever happy? She was happ_ier_ but would probably never be happy. "I'm doing well. I'm getting good grades and I have a very nice roommate."

"Why aren't you happy then?" Her mother was so simple, like a child. Why _wasn't_ she happy? What was she missing?

"I don't know. But it doesn't matter. How are you, Mom? Are you okay?"

"I'm the same as always. I was wondering if maybe you'd come visit me some time. Maybe we could talk, catch up. I'd like to see youespecially before your father takes you away."

"THAT MAN WILL NEVER TAKE ME FROM YOU, MOM!!! _NEVER!!_ I'LL NEVER CALL HIM FATHER AGAIN!" She wasn't yelling, but she was very forceful and expressive. "I'll come and see you mom. When would you like me to come?"

"SoonI'd like to see you soon."

"Well, I don't think I can get a shuttle now. Everyone's flying at Christmas. A friend just flew in and she had a lot of trouble changing her flight. But I'll have a spring break or maybe some three-day weekend? I could just skip some school if that's not soon enough."

"Oh no. Don't miss school. Nothing's more important than you getting through school. How about spring break? That should be soon enough."

"Mother, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Don't worry about me. I'm fine."

"No! Mom, what's wrong? Are you safe? Is that jerk hurting you?"

"No"

"Mom?"

"Kiki, darlingI've got cancer. They say that it's a curable type. I should live through it. The doctor's aren't very worried, but I still want to see you. Please."

"I'll make reservations today, Mom. I'll be there."

"Okay." There was a noise in the background. "I've got to go sweetheart. But I'll call you back, okay?"

"Okay"

"I love you."

"Love you too." And the phone clicked off. It wasn't until Kiki hung up the phone that realized she was crying.

She'd always planned on taking her mother home to the Philippines, but she didn't have the money too. Maybe she could take out a loanShe had to go home. Cancer? But she did say it wasn't serious. Still, her mother would not last forever. She had to get through school more quickly. She'd always planned on going to graduate school, but maybe she could get a job first, earn the money for the trip, then go to grad school–true they would pay her to go to grad school, but not enough. She had to figure something out. Maybe she could take more classes in the summer and graduate by next Christmas. Find a job in the first of the year.

Kiki curled up in a ball on the couch and wished that Deirdre and Kieko would come out of that bedroom. She didn't want to be alone right now.

"You aren't going to disappear on us again, are you?" Sally asked him.

"I don't think you'd let me if I wanted too. Have a good Christmas," Heero said with a little wave. He felt pretty silly standing in the foyer of Quatre's house, saying goodbye to everyone. Trowa was going back home for Christmas too, they were leaving on the same flight, then splitting for the second leg. But everyone else would be staying with Quatre.

"And say hi' Cathy for us, Trowa," Noin told the stoic young man.

"Yah."

"Let's go now," Hilde told them. And Hilde, Duo, Heero, and Trowa piled into one of Quatre's cars. They decided it wouldn't be wise to have someone well known show up at the shuttleport and Hilde and Duo were the least likely to be recognized.

With one last wave, they took off. "Well, that went pretty good, didn't it, Heero? Or Tai? I still never know which I should call you."

"You probably should stick to Tai."

"But no one else does!" Duo did a very good impression of a five-year-old with his lower lip protruding.

Heero shrugged. "I figure you all will call me whatever you want too. I'm not worrying about it."

"What will you do about Miss Relena?" Trowa asked quietly.

There was an awkward silence, but then Heero answered. "I'll tell her the truth."

"She was very upset when you died.' Do you think it's wise? Are you just going to show up and tell her the truth?"

"I thought I'd arrange a meeting with her" Heero said evasively. He looked down at his hands. It was still incredible to him that they all cared so much. Apparently risking your lives together makes you better friends than he'd thought.

They parked and checked in, and Heero and Trowa turned to the massive lines of people. Christmas was a hectic time.

"You're going to be there when Hilde has the baby, right? You're going to be the godfather after all!"

"I'll be there Duo. Don't worry."

"Okay, man." Duo gruffly wrapped Heero in a one-armed hug. Hilde smiled behind her husband and hugged Heero, then turned to Trowa.

"Have a good flight you two!" 

Just before they were out of sight, Heero turned to look back. Duo and Hilde were walking hand in hand back the way they'd came. He noticed Trowa had turned to watch them too.

"I'm glad that Duo's found happiness despite everything," Trowa commented.

"Yahbut isn't that what we all need to do?"

"That's much easier said than done."

Heero nodded. "Life actually seems more complicated now than before."

Trowa grinned and looked over at Heero from the corner of his eye. "Isn't it?"

Trowa was a very silent traveling partner, and they parted with simple 'See you later's. His family was much more enthusiastic.

"Oh, TAI! WE missed you so much!!" Ai yelled as she squished him into a hug.

Toshi was rolling his eyes as he held Yachi by twisting her arms back behind her. Gina had her usual haughty expression as she held her husband's hand, but looked very different. It wasn't until they started walking to the car that Tai realized it was because he was massively pregnant.

"You having quints, Gina?" he joked. The bonked him on the head with her very heavy purse. Tai strongly suspected that she was concealing some last minute Christmas shopping. "Where's Dad and Huy?" he asked as they squished into the car. "And your brood, Toshi?"

"Dad took Huy to his office to show him something. Hanako said she needed to do some things, and she took the kids." Toshi shrugged, obviously unconcerned. 

The house was a mass of clothes, toys, and various Christmas decorations. In the kitchen, the sink was piled high with dishes and various cooking projects were sprawled all over the place, half-finished. But for once, Ai didn't seem to care.

She had forced a sandwich, leftover casserole, and two cinnamon rolls down him before he got away clutching a cup of hot chocolate. He flopped into his room to breathe. Not everyone was even home yet, but he still felt a little stifled.

There was a knock on the door and he made for the air vent. It was probably Yachi preparing to tackle him with one of her new projects again. Last time she'd forced him to help her sew up a Barbie dress. But he stopped when he heard Toshi laughing behind him.

Tai paused mid un-screwing of the air vent to grin at his brother. Then slid down to the floor. "I always wondered how you hid so well from her when no one else could." He was grinning hugely. Tai shrugged and they plopped down together.

"It's crazy out there"

"Just wait till Hanako comes back with the kids. Then you will get to see what I live with every day!"

"Yah, but you go to work every day. Hanako stays home."

  
"Yahwork is my BREAK now." But Toshi was still grinning.

"I thought Hanako was going to go back to work again after your second," Tai was asking him as he rolled over to sip his hot-chocolate right-side up. He didn't want it to go up his nose.

"Well, she was going to and did for about a week. Then one day I came home and found her sleeping on the floor in the nursery crying in her sleep about not leaving her babies. So the next morning I hid her car keys so she couldn't go to work," Toshi admitted maliciously. "I'm not having my wife go crazy on me. It's bit tight money-wise now, but it's worth it. We can make sacrifices. Besides, I'm in for a promotion soon, and a 15% pay raise. We've been doing really well."

Tai nodded. It was nice to be around normal people with normal problems for once. Then he thought of Huy and Kieko again. "How's Huy been doing?"

Toshi leaned forward to rest his elbows on the carpet, face in hands. "Yah, I was going to ask you about him. He's been acting really weird. He's still all goofy and stuff, but any time he's not playing with one of the kids or Yachi, or making fun of Gina he gets this weird look in his face. What's going on?" 

"It's pretty complicated." Tai wasn't sure if he was up to explaining everything. "Basically we've had a little problem and he's been taking it out on Kieko, and she's had enough of it now."

"Uh-oh."

"It was pretty ugly. Kieko's really, really upset about it and I'm not even sure if she wants to get back with him or not."

Toshi whistled. "I didn't think it was _that_ bad. But you say it's because you two are fighting? What about?"

"I met up with an old friend, and I won't tell him about her."

"Her?"

"Yes, her."

Toshi looked thoughtful. "You mean you didn't tell him about her and he discovered you have a girlfriend?"

"No. I met up with her but I won't tell him how we met or how we got to be friends."

"Why on earth not? That seems pretty silly."

"Well.Deirdre's notDeirdre's involved in something right now and I can't tell anyone about her. The more people who know, the more dangerous it will be for her. I just don't want to see her get hurt. So I won't tell anyone anything about her. He's met her, she stayed with Kieko for a week and we visited during fall break. It's not like she's a mystery, I think it's just because I'm not telling him about stuff during the war. You know how touchy he is about that. He likes people to air all their deepest, darkest secrets."

Toshi nodded sagely. "I know what you mean. But the war isn't something you justtalk about. It just something you understand and live with." He shook his head. "Well, hopefully he'll get his head on straight. It sounds like Kieko is a really great girl. I don't think he should ruin it with this immature crap."

"I fully intend to kick him firmly in the pants when he comes home."

"I'll referee," Toshi grinned.

Suddenly the door flew open and a small person launched herself at Toshi, knocking him over. He raised his daughter above his head and tickled her while a crinkling mound of clothes rolled over his father.

He could spot trouble from a mile away. Not that it was very difficult to do in this case, but that didn't change the fact that he could see it. Thus he could escape.

A pillow soared through the air and landed squarely over Hilde's food at she sat innocently in the kitchen. She looked up, glared at her husband, and took off after him. 

Zechs got up quickly and relocated into the living room. It would be safer the further away from Duo he got. Duo was naturally very mischievous, but he had been getting restless and that only intensified the situation.

He pulled out his laptop and began to answer the many emails, which had built up on his hard-drive over the past day.

It was a peaceful little room, but Zechs realized quickly that that wasn't why he felt so content. It was Christmas and he had Noin to celebrate it with. Relena was safe and happy and, for a few days at least, he could pretend to be carefree and that all was right in the world. But he didn't fool himself so thoroughly that he forgot everything.

Mostly several of his fears had been put to rest. His fears about Heero. Lady Une had been correct in her assumptions. Zechs could accept Heero's excuse and could understand his desire to protect the family he'd just gained. After all, it's exactly how he felt about Relena. He would sacrifice all else to protect herexcept perhaps Noin, but that was not a fair comparison.

But he was not allowed to enjoy the peace for much longer. Dorothy swaggered in and seated herself across from him. 

"Hello Dorothy. How are you?"

She sat down across from him in a recliner. "What kind of position would you give me?" she asked bluntly.

"Well, we could use someone in intelligence. Or perhaps you could work with Lady Une as a public representative. She's been looking for a skilled person to work with. We are always looking for new instructors for the new recruits. We'd just have to pull out a few lists and look at your skills and options."

Dorothy just continued to look at him.

"What interests you the most? We could train you for something else too. Just tell me what you would like." Zechs wished she'd blink. It was starting to unnerve him.

"Lady Une, you say," she finally spoke. She crossed and uncrossed her legs, and leaned back looking much like a contented cat. "I think I would like public relations. Working with her would besatisfactory."

Zechs nodded in his usual curt manner. "I'll speak with her about it. I'm sure she'll be delighted to have you." He naturally thought of their common interest in Treize. It was actually a bit uncanny how Dorothy resembled the deceased man at times.

But they were cut off from any more conversation by Duo tearing through the room, Wufei hot on his heals, and Hilde limping behind them both, clutching at her stomach.

Huy yawned lazily in his father's reclining chair. The dim light was putting him to sleep. But considering the amount of sleep he'd had in the past few days, it was not surprising.

"Don't worry, kid-o. I'll be finished soon," his father told him from behind, observing his yawning.

"EhI don't care. It's nice and peaceful here anyway."

"Well, Christmas isn't exactly the time for privacy. And it'll only get worse. But family is nice too. We are all excited to meet your Kieko."

Huy blinked from the chair, his back to his father. His heart froze. "She won't be coming, after all," he said slowly. "Something came up."

There was quiet behind him, then his father spoke softly. "What happened?"

"I told you, something came up" Huy was getting irritated, but he couldn't quite figure out why. His father wasn't doing anything offensive, just asking innocent, very reasonable questions.

"Is the wedding still on?" 

Drat him, Huy thought angrily. Had he been that obvious that something was wrong? He'd been so sure his acting was excellent. He fiddled with the keyboard of his father's computer at the desk for a moment.

"Huy?" He felt a hand on his shoulder. "Huy? What's going on? Are you okay?"

Huy glared at the blank screen. Fumes filled him. "Just leave me alone," he said so low that it was nearly a growl. Then he jumped up and walked purposefully out.

The long dark halls seemed to be exactly what he was looking for. One foot in front of the other, his steps sounded with a metallic hollow clang. It was cold in the abandoned building, and Huy didn't really care. He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked faster and faster along the straight corridors. Every now and then he turned a corner and found himself enveloped in more blank hallways. But at least he was moving, getting somewhere.

Why did he even have to be here. These hallways were nice. Maybe he should get a sleeping bag and stay down here, and pace endlesslyhe wouldn't have to talk to anyone ever again.

And then the hall ended. Huy blinked at it and stared at the white, sterile double doors. Then he pushed them open. The room was perfectly circular with large machinery filling it entirely, and he recognized nothing.

He walked the perimeter of the room gazing in amazement at the huge mechanical wonders. _What were they building?_

A light flicked on and Huy jumped. "So you found your way down here?" he heard his father ask.

Huy sighed heavily. He didn't want to see anyone at all. It was so nice being alone in the halls, he could just walk and walk.

He had a tray of sample test tubes in one arm, which he sat precariously down on a desk. A touch-screen computer blipped to life as he punched in some instructions. "Some plants have amazing self-healing properties. For instance, you can take a jade leaf and make it grow into a new plant, or just simply having a rose root will produce a bush. So we thought maybe we could use the properties to heal humans."

"Tai's the one who'd be interested in this, not me."

"I just thought maybe you'd like to know what these machines are for. You looked interested." 

Huy shrugged and watched as a long robotic arm sprang to life and picked up one of the samples his father had set down. It clinked its pincher fingers around the little tube and carried it across to the other side of the room, setting it into a large cylindrical machine. "I don't care."

"Then I guess I was wrong. Let's go home now." Huy felt helpless and he just slugged out after his father. 

In the car, he leaned his face against the cool glass. He was empty. If he could just lay around in bed, maybe he'd dissolve eventually. 

Ryuzou wasn't speaking. Huy wished he would, or turn on the radio, anything to fill the silence. He wanted to be alone, but it was awkward to be with a person, and yet not at all.

As soon as they parked the car, Huy leapt out and sprinted up to his room. If he could get up there and stay there before anyone spoke to him, he'd be all right.

He slammed his bedroom door shut and sighed against it, sliding down, slumped at the bottom.

"Hard day?"

Huy groaned. "Can't I EVER be alone!!"

"You are a twin, one of five children with in-laws, and an uncle to boot. I don't think so." Tai said sagely.

Huy jumped up and clambered up to his bed. "Well, will you please leave me alone now?" He furiously turned to the wall and purposefully ignored his brother moving around below him. 

Suddenly he landed on the carpeted floor with a loud thump and it was a few seconds before he realized that Tai was glowering down at him, and he realized what had happened. Huy sat up and massaged his ankle.

"What was that for?" he whined.

Tai grabbed him by his shirt collar and held him so that his feet dangled in the air. "Take a wild guess," and slammed him down on his knee.

Huy fell to the ground again, grasping at his chest and struggling for breath. "What theTai, are you CRAZY?"

"No. I'm just snapping you out of your stupid mood. Toshi told me how you've been acting and I thought I would just help you a bit. And issue a warning."

Huy shakily pushed himself up on one hand and looked up at his brother through shaggy bangs. "Warning? For what?"

"Kieko."

Huy groaned again and felt a fist slam into his face. He bowled over backward and lay on his back, staring at the white ceiling, patterned with vague sunburst shapes.

"You're responsible for that groan." The Tai squatted down to peer into his brother's face. "Do you love her?"

What?"

"Do you love Kieko?"

"Leave me alone, she's not even any of your business." Huy swore loudly as he tried to get up, and Tai pounced on him again. But Huy was awake now. He caught his feet between them and pushed Tai off forcefully. But Tai was on him again. Huy swung around and landed a punch, but Tai had tightened his stomach muscles and it bounced off, and he counterattacked with tight headlock, Huy facing sideways, clamped under Tai's arm, his own arms pulled severely back behind him by Tai's other arm.

"Did you ever love Kieko?"

"This is none of your business!"

"Yes it is! She was my friend long before you two ever met. She's my responsibility as well as yours, and I'm treating you just like I would any other abusive boy. Now answer me, did you ever love her!"

"Since when," Huy panted struggling against his brother's arm, "did you become her surrogate brother! Leggo!!!"

"I've been doing it since she needed it two years ago when I found her crying in the rain after running away from her latest abusive relationship!"

"What the heck are you on about! She's never told me anything about that!"

"No, she wouldn't because it's not something you just blab about to anyone. But I will tell you. She's been hit, beaten, screamed at, and overall just been treated like dirt by every man she's ever met. And then she met you and thought you were different. And you were, until you stooped to that level with immature name-calling and temper-tantrum. Now answer me! Did you ever love her?"

Huy tried to pull his arms forward but was rewarded by Tai slamming his face into the bedpost. "Yes!! Of coarse I did! Do you think I was faking such a thing!"

"They why did you treat her like that? What changed? Why did you do that?" Tai growled.

"Because I lost my temper! I still love her but I just lost it! I've been annoyed and irritable and I just lost it!"

"Were you annoyed with her? Is that why?"

"NO I WASN'T!" Huy was yelling now, trying to keep back from screaming out in pain. "I WAS MAD ABOUT DEIRDRE AND I TOOK IT OUT ON HER!"

"Why? Why take it out on the person you care _most_ about?"

"I DON'T KNOW! I JUST DON'T KNOW!! BECAUSE I'M STUPID AND IMMATURE! I DON'T KNOW!"

"So it's you're fault! This mess is your fault, right?"

"YES, YES YES!! IT'S MY FAULT! IT'S ALL MY FAULT!" Huy could feel himself crying now. But that just made him even angrier. He was being beaten to a pulp by his brother, forced to think about Kieko, and being forced to admit aloud his own faults. "IT'S MY FAULT! SO JUST LET GO!"

"What are you going to do about it, huh? Kieko's been mistreated so much before. I don't know that she'll want you back now that you've betrayed her, and if you've done it once, how can she be sure you won't do it again? Think about it. What are you going to do?"

"II DON'T KNOW!!" Huy screamed, tears streaming down his face. "I don't know." He felt his arms and head being released and he slumped to the ground, sobbing. "I don't know what I'm going to do, Tai. I've lost her, I know itI just don't know what I'm gonna do without her."

Suddenly the bedroom door flew open and Toshi and Gina stood in the doorway with Ai screaming behind them, "What's happened! Are they okay!" But they took in Huy sobbing on the ground next to Tai looking stern and quickly shut the door again.

Hesitantly Tai put his hand on his brother's back and patted it timidly. He was never sure of what to do when someone was crying. He was getting better at this whole comforting' thing, but it was still awkward for him. 

Huy flung himself at Tai, crying on his knees, arms around his waist. "What do I do, Tai? I can't live without her! Can I get her back?"

Tai let him cry a little longer then began to talk slowly. "I'm no expert Huy, but it seems like the best thing is to just talk with her. Tell her it's your fault and why it's your fault. Tell her you won't do it again, but not only that, you have to prove that you truly won't do it again. She's been dealing with men her entire life who said they loved her and would never hurt her, but then they did it over and over again. You have to make sure that you truly never do take your anger out on her when she doesn't deserve it. And even if you are angry with her, you have to control it. No one should be treated like that. It's demeaning and painful. Show her you won't do it ever again. You have to if you want her."

Huy nodded through his tears. "Do you think she'll give me another chance?"

Tai sighed. "I don't know. You have to talk to her."

"Should I call her now? She'll be with her mom, should I call there? Should I go see her?"

"You won't find her there. She's with Deirdre. She didn't want to go home and deal with her mother in her mood. And I think maybe you should leave her be for a while. Let her think about things without you around. Deirdre will be a good influence on her as well. Just let her alone for a bit. Then after Christmas have a long talk. That's my opinion. It may not be the correct way, it's just what I would think. But I'm not any great shakes with relationships. Besides, I don't think it would be a good idea to talk to her when you've got such lovely black eyes."

"Tai, I'm sorry I've been a prat about Deirdre. I don't understand why you won't tell me about her but I'll trust you. I'm sorry" Huy said weakly.

"It's okay. Just trust me."

"I will, if you, if you can still believe in me, that I'm not worthless."

"I've never thought you were worthless and never will. Just clueless," Tai said patting his brother's head.

Huy chuckled. "Now to explain my injuries."

"I'll get some ice."

Tai got up and left quietly and Huy lay still on the carpet, twining it between his fingers. A fresh wave of tears overtook him and he curled up into fetal position. 

"I'm sorry Kieko. Can things go back? Ever?" Huy mumbled to no one. Why did everything hurt so much?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


	13. Crash

Chapter Thirteen

Crash

Sometimes Tai wondered about this entire Christmas thing. It was the same every year. You go to sleep, wake up with a little girl screaming in your face, blearily open some presents but quite honestly can't think or see straight so when people look at you to see your excitement, all they get is a vague "Mwahan." Then they pull out the cameras. Just what he always wanted–pictures of him with a near afro.

Then you stuffed your face and feel like a blob for a week because you've managed to gain ten pounds in one day. And there was the lack of privacy, and the silliness, and mushy couples.

Tai pushed his curtain of shaggy hair from his eyes and yawned widely and Yachi pat his cheeks from her sitting position on his legs. "Come on, just smile for the camera!"

"I need to be awake in order to instruct my face."

Yachi giggled and flung her arms around his neck. "You're so silly!"

Tai let his head flop against the couch and succumbed to the situation. He couldn't really fight against it. Yachi clinging to his chest, little Umiko was sitting on the couch he was leaning against, playing with his hair, and the baby had plopped himself at Tai's feet and proceeded to confuse his toes with his pacifier. It was a good thing Tai wasn't ticklishor at least not there.

"You need to shave," Yachi was saying as she rubbed her hands up his sandpapery five o'clock face.

"That would be because it's morning Yachi," Toshi said from the other end of the room. He was fiddling with some new gadget of his. Tai wasn't sure what it was for, but it beeped shrilly every few seconds.

Then Hanako came to his rescue. She pulled her little boy from his feet and scolded Umiko while Tai found the energy to shove Yachi off of him. But she kept skipping behind him.

"Mom, can I help you?" he asked, slouching into the kitchen.

She looked up from the counter where she was kneading raisins into a blob of dough. "No, I'm just fine!"

"Please?" he looked at her hopefully as Yachi dragged a chair behind him and attempted a flying leap onto his shoulders.

But mid jump Gina appeared and pulled the chair out from under Yachi, and she fell to the ground. "Oops!" she said with mock innocence. "I didn't notice you there!"

Yachi sat up and glared at her sister. "Mom! Gina's being mean again!!"

"Yachi, I think you are little over active. Maybe you should leave Tai alone for a little while," she said patiently. "And that wasn't very nice Gina." Gina shrugged her usual careless expression. Her latest excuse for abusing her siblings was "It's his fault!" as she pointed to her swollen belly.

But this was all the diversion Tai needed. He slipped out of the room and flew up the stairs for his vent. He had taken a pillow and blanket up there for this very situation. Incredible things, these archaic air vents. Modern ones were much too tight to fit in comfortably, but these older ones.

But he didn't get very far with his plans. Huy was lying on the top bunk, staring at the ceiling blankly. His eyes looked a bit glassy.

Tai pulled himself up and hung onto the bed by his elbows, feet dangling below. "You thinking about her again?"

Huy blinked and turned to look at his brother. His eyes had turned a nasty greenish-purple color that brought to mind either a severely hung-over druggy, or Igor of Frankenstein. "She was so excited to spend Christmas with us. I thought it would be nice to share Christmas with her, thought maybeI don't even know what I thought."

"You thought you'd spend the rest of your life with her. No more stupid playing games with women or lonely nights. You thought she was a constant in your life."

"Yah." Huy looked down at his hands, then looked wryly at his brother. "You sure sound like you know what you're talking about."

"Don't even get started. Stop thinking right now."

"So you admit that I do think!" he exclaimed triumphantly.

Tai couldn't let him get away with this. "From time to time, yes."

Huy grinned sheepishly. "Do you think that she'll take me back, Tai?"

"Definitely. Just don't act like a two-year old again. It'll be okay. She loves you."

"Do you ever wonder why we ended up together even though she met you first?" Huy asked.

"Not really. I know why so I don't need to wonder."

"Really? Why?"

"Because I wasn't interested in finding anyone and at the time we met, neither was she. She was scared and hurt. She would never trust someone with her heart again, at least that's what she thought then. I think somehow I gained her trust so when she met you, she had me in mind except all new, as if we'd met again and she was happy and healed. Only you were interested in finding someone. And it worked."

"You don't think it's because we are so different then?" Huy asked curiously.

"Partly. But I don't think we are really THAT different. We definitely are different, but we aren't totally alien from each other."

Huy grinned at his brother. "Thanks for not being interested."

"Anytime."

"And thanks for beating me over the head."

Tai smiled at him. "Sure thing."

"You and Deirdreso you honestly don't want her?" Huy changed the subject.

Tai sighed and rested his chin on his hands. "It's too complicated. But we are just friends. Nothing more."

Then Huy nodded and seemed to accept his brother's unwillingness to talk about it. Then he looked up at the air vent. "So that's how you escape herI was wondering how you did it."

"But you never needed to find a spot. She doesn't attack you guys as much as she does me!"

"Maybe be." Huy grinned again.

Kiki rolled over in bed. She could hear Kieko jabbering excitedly in the kitchen. That girl was way too lively. Deirdre was always happy and sweet, but never that talkative. And at first Kiki thought Kieko would just bawl the entire visit, but she was wrong. The two of them seemed to be a bit of a deadly combination. They'd been prancing around the apartment like they were five again and believed that Santa Clause came down the chimney, reindeer and all.

"Kiki!" Deirdre called cautiously into the room. "Come on! It's snowing outside! It's so pretty." Her face was gleaming with excitement. "Kieko and I are going to make a snowman. Come on!"

Kiki grumbled incoherently and flopped over. "Kiki!" Kieko had entered the room too. There was a groan of springs as the girls sat on the end of the bed. "It's Christmas. You can't waste away the day in bed. It'll be gone before you know it."

"I'll get her up," Deirdre was saying. "Why don't you go on, Kieko."

Kieko made a few noises of protest, but finally got up. "Kiki, you've been unusually quiet and cranky. What's happened? Is it because Kieko's around?" Deirdre said, with large imploring eyes that Kiki refused to look at.

Kiki snorted at Kieko's name. "What's with that girl anyway? I thought she was upset about her boyfriend."

"She is. She was crying again last night. I heard her," Deirdre told her quietly. "I think she's just trying very hard not to think about it. They were engaged after all."

"Not anymore then."

"Not necessarily." For some reason Kiki was feeling even more annoyed. What right did Kieko have being happy. If she loved this guy that much she should be much more upset. She slipped back into her moody silence.

Deirdre rested a hand delicately on her shoulder and shook her gently. "Kiki?"

"It doesn't matter, leave me alone. I'm just sleepy." Kiki blinked hard–her eyes were prickling and stinging slightly. But Deirdre continued to sit there quietly, a hand on her shoulder. Kiki could feel the kind eyes boring into her. Deirdre would probably sit there for hours, not speaking if she had to. Drat her. Kiki would have to say something to get rid of her.

"I was just wishing that I could take my mom to the Philippians," she said dully.

"Why can't you?" Deirdre did not seem surprised at her admission of this secret ambition.

"Because I'm a poor student with nothing to my name" Kiki wanted to add, "You ignorant, blind, dope," but decided that wasn't very kind and Deirdre was just trying to help.

Deirdre smiled softly. "But you'll be able to do it some day. You're very good at saving money." To her that seemed to settle the matter because she stood up and pulled the blanket off of her disgruntled roommate.

"Wha" Kiki started.

"Well, get up! If you aren't going to talk about it or work something out, then move," she said cheerfully. "There are mounds of snow waiting for us!"

Kiki sat up slowly and Deirdre thrust some clothes at her. Five minutes later they left the apartment to be hit full in the face by very cold, very wet snowballs. Kieko laughed merrily from below.

Just what Kiki needed right nowa good fight to work off her frustrations and worry. She grinned down at Kieko and narrowed her eyes evilly. Kieko seemed to sense the danger and took off, disappearing around the corner, dark hair whipping wildly behind her.

Deirdre sighed and leaned against the wooden railing of the apartment building. She'd stayed up all night with Kieko and was exhausted. The girl was putting up a good front around Kiki and the general public, everyone she didn't know, but around Deirdre, who she knew at least a little, she was a basket case crying inconsolably. Deirdre had half a mind to hide all sharp objects from her. Kieko didn't seem the type to do something like that, but it _was_ better to be safe than sorry.

Heero never asked her for anything, but when he'd called her about Kieko, she knew it must be serious. She never realized it was this serious. And the way Kieko looked as she spoke about Tai, even though he was her fiancé's twin, was of utmost respect. Deirdre wondered why she wasn't marrying Tai instead of Huy. She did meet Tai first after all. Maybe she'd ask him sometime. But in the meantime, she was very happy that Kieko had chosen Huy.

Julie sat down at the dinner table glared indignantly at the napkin in her glass of water, then across at her big brother, who was grinning at her daring her to retaliate. Great Aunt Lucy was rambling about some by who'd taken her on a sleigh ride when she was a girl, a VERY long time ago, and Grandpa McKinley was mumbling to his mashed potatoes. Her father was cutting up the turkey, oblivious to his surroundings and her mother was glaring daggers at her four children, daring them to disrupt Christmas dinner.

Sighing, Julie pulled the napkin out of her glass and rolled her beans around her plate with a fork. She's just have to get him after dinner when the elderly family members were out of harms way. Besides, she was in a very indulgent mood. The boy she'd met just before coming home had asked for her home number and called her just a few hours ago. He was really nice. Of course Tai was nicer. She quickly shook him out of her mind. She was being silly to even think of Tai. And there were more pressing matters at hand–the napkin war didn't seem to be enough for her brother.

Small green objects flew at her randomly. But every time she looked up her brother was gazing avidly at Great Aunt Lucy. Then one hit her squarely in the forehead. _This was war._

Julie stood up slowly from the table with her glass, to refill it at the sink, making a side trip to the freezer.

That evening her mother spent an hour yelling at her children for ruining, yet again, another Christmas dinner. But all Julie thought about was her phone call and the words just bounced off of her.

Kieko was dancing on the balls of her feet as she waited at the shuttleport. She was there just as promised, waiting for the twins. She still wasn't sure if she should forgive and forget or not. If someone had to ability to act a certain way once, they did it again because it was in their nature, and it's incredibly difficult to deny one's natural tendencies. But Tai was okaymaybe it was just a slip upmaybe everything was okay.

During the break, Kieko had stewed over that afternoon, playing it out over and over and over. Her anger had ebbed away and left her with hurt and great disappointment. If only.

But she would just have to see, and wait. She still hadn't told Julie or her own family about the fight, and she probably never would. There was no point to it. If they called of the wedding, it was nobody's business why, she told herself firmly.

Kieko then took to pacing up and down the blue and green tiles, following the patterns of colors like a child.

"Kieko!" Tai called to her. She could always tell the difference between their voices–Huy's was a little bit deeper and lighter. Tai's was only slightly higher pitched, but more solemn. 

She whirled around and met Tai in a one-armed hug. "Are you okay?" His eyes searched her face quickly, eyebrows knitting together forming God only knew what conclusion.

"Fine. Deirdre was such a sweetheart. I really owe her."

"No you don't. She was glad to help. She loves helping. If anyone owes her it's me because I requested that you stay with her." Tai released her and turned around. Huy had both of their bags slung around his shoulders and neck, panting heavily and glaring at his brother. "What the heck did you leave me there for with all _your _crap!" he sputtered.

Tai didn't seem bothered as his brother stopped short, and turned red, looking at Kieko. "What happened to your face?" she asked abruptly. He was covered in slowly healing, yellowish bruises. They looked fairly old, but not gone yet. He looked like he had a run in with a couple brick walls.

"Tai and I had a ratherenthusiastic conversation." Huy looked flustered as he tried to disentangle himself from the bags–it looked like the bags were winning the mini fight though. When he pulled one over his head, the other swung and hit him in the back, he winced and tried to push it away, dropping the first back down onto his shoulders. 

Kieko looked up at Tai and blinked. He shrugged. "I was just letting Huy know that he was acting like a little teenage brat."

It was a bit automatic. Had she stopped to think, she certainly wouldn't have helped him. She would have stood there and let Huy struggle and he would have deserved it. But she was a little shocked that Tai had beaten his brother. It seemed that the injuries had been rather one-sided.

She pulled the bags off of Huy and put both hands on his face. "They don't hurt now, do they? I mean, you look nearly healed."

Huy's eyes widened at her touch and she jerked her hands away quickly as if burned, or frozen one. He looked rather disappointed. "I'm fine."

They stood awkwardly staring at each other for a minute, then they both started rambling very quickly.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean."

"I shouldn't have been so harsh on you."

"I'm so sorry."

"Christmas was miserable without you."

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry."

"It was so lonely! I never expected to miss you so much!"

"I'm a jerk, and a moron, and I'm sorry, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really."

"Will you shut up already and kiss me!!"

Huy stopped talking, his mouth hanging open like a fish out of water, wordlessly mouthing into the air. Kieko glared at him with her hands on her hips, tapping a foot impatiently. He broke into a grin and grabbed her around the waist. Kieko let out a little startled yelp as he kissed her (Tai thought it looked a bit more like biting though), but quickly recovered and wrapped her arms around his neck, her feet now a couple inches off the floor, hanging on to him. Both were laughing and crying and hardly stopping to breathe. Tai was surprised neither had blacked out.

Tai smiled and picked up the bags and sat down in the nearest chair. He figured they'd be there a while judging from the way they were practically inhaling each other.

Wufei was sitting at his desk typing away. He was having trouble concentrating. Christmas break had been a bit too relaxing, and now that the Heero situation had been amended, he was feeling the stress. All the frustration and righteous indignation had flowed from him, leaving him empty and exhausted. But he prided himself upon his willpower.

Sally came into the room. She'd left just after Christmas to do a few things and arrived several days late. It was the first time he'd seen her since then.

"How was it at Quatre's after I left?" She asked cheerfully. She seemed happy.

"Fine. Normal."

"In other words, Duo and Hilde drove you batty, Zechs and Noin hid away, and Quatre looked politely frightened?"

"That sounds about right" he mumbled.

Sally rushed around the room for a minute or two, shuffling files and digging out her desk from beneath the in-box. She seemed more jittery than usual. Then she paused. "Wufei"

"Yes?" he asked curtly.

She walked up to him and shoved her hand under his nose. It was such close proximity that Wufei went a little cross-eyed and pulled her hand down so he could see what she was showing him.

"I'm engaged" she said softly, happiness positively leaking out of every pore.

Wufei blinked down at the hand. "Kind of sudden isn't? I've never seen you around with anyone." Wufei wasn't sure what was swirling around in him. It was acutely uncomfortable though.

"He works on another base–New Edwards. I met him on one of our missions. But we've been writing and calling and every time we're in the same area we meet. Then we sort of started planning meetings, and one thing just lead to another."

"How long has this been going on?"

"A yearmaybe a little less."

"Congratulations," he said and forced a smile up at her. Things like this always made him think of Meiran, made him wonder what life would be like if she had lived. They were only kids after all.

Sally grinned sheepishly and pranced out of the room. "I'm off to show Noin!" she told him in a singsong voice.

Wufei bent down to his typing again. He had mountains of paper work to catch up on. Glaring at the screen, Wufei stood up quickly and walked briskly to the break room. It was empty, being between lunch and breakfast. Someone had left a cup of steaming coffee sitting on the table. He sat down and stared at the swirling wisps rising from it.

Maybe Sally would be reassigned now that she was getting married. She was the only person he could stand to work with. He hoped that she wouldn't be going far, and maybe they'd have a long engagement. It had never occurred to him the he would lose her some day, and now it was glaring him in the face. He didn't want to think about a life without her. Suddenly he felt a surge of energy and got up, throwing himself furiously into his work again, drowning out his thoughts. Relationships were stupid. It would be so much easier if everyone needed no one then no one would care about anything. 

Huy rolled his pencil between his fingers, tapping on his paper as the professor droned on. His last semester. Just one lefthe grinned to himself. A girl next to him glared at his bouncing hand and he desisted, then rested his chin on his folded arms on the pullout-desk. Then the bell rang. 

Jumping up, Huy just heard someone shouting out his name. Turning, he waited for a girl who looked vaguely familiar bound up to him.

"Huy Iwasato! How're you doing?" she asked excitedly as they walked off.

"Erokay. How about you?" he asked her awkwardly. He searched his brain frantically, trying to place her face. He knew the bouncy, dark haired girl. Why couldn't he remember?

"I'm good. I'm just visiting a friend so I've been following her around in her classes. I've been thinking about coming her for grad school–they have a really good vet school!"

Huy nodded knowingly. "Of course." _Crapwhere did he know this girl from?_

"What are you doing? I haven't heard from you in forever! Or Heero! Or any of the other guys for that matter!!"

Huy winced at the name. "Well, could you keep your voice down with that? He goes by Tai now." He was thinking fast. He must have known her in high school.

"Why?"

"Well, you seeit's kind of complicated." He stopped and a dreamy expression came over his face. The girl grimaced at him and looked where he was looking. Kieko came over and linked arms with him. Huy blinked and noticed the girl did not look very happy. "Kieko."

"Huy, darling," she began, and Huy knew he was in trouble for something. She was using that falsely sweet voice of hers. "What did you do with that box of invitations?"

"Invitations?" he asked nervously biting his lip.

"The one's we sealed yesterday? Remember? For my side of the family?"

He scratched his head. "Ummaybe Tai knows."

Kieko rolled her eyes. The dark girl looked expectantly at Huy, and coughed loudly drawing his attention back to her.

"Oh yah! This is Kieko, my fiancée!" he said quickly, hoping that the girl would introduce herself. Then maybe he would remember her.

Keiko smiled. "And you are?"

"Etrea. I'm a friend from high school." She turned to Huy with an eyebrow cocked. "This is nice. Did you plan on telling any of us that you're getting married?"

Huy could've slapped himself in the face. But her hair looked totally different, and she was wearing make-up. "Of course! I'm sending you all invitations."

"Uh-uh," she said sarcastically, one hand on her hip. "So what's up with Heero? Or, Tai, did you say?"

Kieko bit her lip nervously. "She's not one ofshe's not."

"No. She was my friend in high school, not Tai's," Huy said quickly in an undertone. Etrea looked confused so Huy elaborated. "Tai has friends from before we met and they tend to be a bit"

"Okaynone of this makes any sense."

But Kieko was eyeing her fiancé with annoyance. "Listen, Etrea, I really have to go right now, but why don't you stop by my apartment. Tai and I should both be home and we can go and eat or something. What do you think?"

She grinned happily. "Okay. What time?"

"UmI guess around sevenKieko turn around for a minute" Huy said as he used Kieko's back as a hard surface write his address and phone number on a scratch sheet of paper. "Just give us a call there before you come to make sure we're there and come on over!" Etrea grinned and nodded before bouncing away. "I think that girl's bi-polar or something" Huy muttered.

"The invitations?" a disgruntled Kieko prompted, tapping her foot.

Tai sat at his desk when Huy bounded in, flapped around the room noisily, and flopped down on his bed.

"Guess what!" Huy said breathlessly. "You got three chances!"

Tai shrugged. "Let's just skip to the, I don't know' part. What's up?" He was feeling very impatient right now. He was right in the middle of a paper.

"I saw Etrea today. She's going to visit us for dinner!"

Much to Tai's annoyance, he was interested. Etrea had been an interesting friend. "How's she doing?"

"Don't know. I didn't get to ask her too much. Kieko came and started hounding me about the invitations again. Hey, do you think all girls are such nags? Or is it just Kieko?"

"Probably a good percentage of women are like that. What time is Etrea coming?"

"I told her around seven or so, but she said she'd call before she came." Huy was digging around in his bag now. "Hey, you seen any of my books laying around?"

"Only everywhere. Check the lobby."

"But I haven't been in there for a while."

Tai sighed at his brother's forgetfulness. "Last night, with Kieko."

"Yah but we weren't study-yahah." Huy grinned sheepishly at his brother as he stuttered to a stop. "Right. I'll go check."

Tai rolled his eyes as his brother ran out. But his concentration had already been destroyed. He hadn't answered his emails yet today, so Tai clicked open the link. Donny had just emailed him–he was still on Earth with his adoptive family. But he didn't really have any ambition so he had joined the preventor's two years ago, and was being trained as a radio technician. Tai smiled at Donny's usual choppy writing. He seemed pretty excited by his job. Anything that had wires was interesting to Donny, but he had no self-discipline to go to school on his own. He needed something to force him. Gina was complaining about being seven months pregnant, and Toshi was reporting another goofy story about Umiko. Yachi was uncontrollable as usual, Ai was worrying entirely too much. And his father hadn't emailed him yet, not that he expected it. He and his father still wrote, but it was much less often than the rest of the family. But Relena hadn't emailed yet. Tai sighed and began to type. 

But shortly after that, Huy re-appeared and bombarded his brother with questions as usual, then Etrea arrived with the expected exclamations. "What! Brothers!!!" Tai thought she looked about the same as usual, with her dark hair and large eyes. She eagerly asked if they knew anything about the vet school at Swinson but neither did, much to her dismay. Then she enthusiastically told them about past classmates and their "going on"s.

Tai didn't feel particularly interest, and felt a little guilty. But life did go on and he had only known these people for a year. But then again, he still kept in touch with Donny. But Huy still spoke to them all, he'd known them a lot longer.

Tai rolled his eyes and felt himself falling back to his usual gruff nature around her. He wasn't sure he liked acting like this, but it was automatic. But the evening was, overall, enjoyable. But the next morning brought on a wave of panic as he realized he still hadn't finished his paper.

Grimacing, he turned in one of the worst papers he'd ever written. He had to worry about the medical school applications. He'd already sent out two. Three more were going out in a week, and he had essays to write for all of them, and teacher recommendations. He could feel the gray hairs sprouting. 

As there were only twenty-four hours in the day, Tai felt he had to be very careful with his time. Huy had already yelled at him last night for pulling an all-nighter. But Tai was rapidly getting behind in his studies, which he was fighting against. He couldn't wait for this month to be over with.

"Deirdre! You ready to go yet?" Celes called.

"I'm coming!" Deirdre threw on her coat and, panic-stricken, flew out the door after her roommate. They were going to be late for Ianthe's scrimmage. And she'd been so excited about it. The other girls had already walked down earlier, but Celes and Deirdre had had the great misfortune to run into some very persistent males at the grocery store. Hence, it had become a double date.

"I'm here!" she panted, clutching at a stitch in her side. "I'm ready."

The boys smiled politely, tall and handsome, and led the girls to the car. They seemed gentlemanly enough, but she still hardly even knew her date. It would be very awkward, but at least the car ride would be quick. She heard herself asking him, automatically, what his major was.

Celes and her date climbed into the back, Deirdre sat in the front next to her date, who was driving. She buckled her seat belt, but as they pulled out, her shoe began to irritate her. Leaning forward, she couldn't quite get to it without looking incredibly stupid, so she unbuckled her seatbelt and bent to straiten the laces and shoe tongue.

Then her date swore very colorfully and Deirdre felt herself slam forcefully into the dashboard. There was a loud crunching noise that sounded a bit like a lot of aluminum foil being wadded up into a tight knot. A girl's voice behind her shrieked and a large object slammed into the back of her seat.

It was spinning and a horrible ripping noise. It was loud, too loud, but somehow silent to Deirdre's ears. And fast. She didn't have time to register what was happening. Deirdre felt herself retch as they slammed to a halt. Blinking at the sudden stillness, Deirdre attempted to sit up, but immediately felt her body scream out in pain. Something was over her back so she was trapped into a tight little cubbyhole, leaning with her face against the dashboard. She blinked down and her nostrils were filled with the putrid smell of sick everywhere. Her knees were burning something terrible, one arm was pinioned painfully behind her, and the other trapped between her chest and knees.

There was a crunching noise and male voices, but Deirdre's mind wasn't working properly. It all sounded like a TV with a very bad reception. Blood pounded in her ears and she felt a great darkness sweep over her.

"DeirdreDeirdre!! Get up Deirdre!!" Celes screamed, her tear streaked, attempting to climb into the front of the car, but her date and near stranger grabbed her around the waist.

"Come on. We've got to get you out of here Celes. We'll get some help for Deirdrethe sooner the better.."

Celes yelped in pain, her ankle was pined between the side of the crumpled car and Deirdre's seat. The dark-haired boy gently pushed the seat slightly and pulled her ankle out delicately. He alone seemed untouched. Deirdre and the boy in the front were silent. But Celes continued to fight him as he pulled her out.

"NO! She'll suuf-focate! We've g-g-got to help her!" Celes had completely lost control and she shrieked and struggled against him. She felt him yank her out and Celes landed hard on the concrete, leaned forward and rest her head between her knees breath hard to keep from hyperventilating. "He-elp her" she hiccuped. Through her tangled, blood filled hair Celes looked at the little green car, it's front end completely smashed into another car, the passenger side crunched against the guardrail, and the top smashed in from rolling over. Another car was stopped behind, the driver standing on the road open-mouthed.

Celes' ankle was burning painfully and her wrist was sticking out at an odd angle but the shock numbed most of the pain. Her body was wracked with powerful sobs.

"On highway 7," the boy's voice from above her said matter-of-factly as he spoke on the cell phone. Celes hardly noticed as someone held her around the shoulders and patted her back.

"It's okay dear." But Celes threw herself up again and ran to the car. Climbing on top of the crumple front, she attempted to climb through the broken windshield. Shards of glass wedged themselves deep into her hands, and blood flowed freely. But as she stared forward she paused and stared in horror. The roof of the car had been smashed in so that she could not see either passenger in the front seats. Sliding off, she scrambled to the driver's side–she couldn't reach the passenger side as it was smashed against the guardrail. The boy in the driver's seat had his head flung back against the seat, his hands still on the steering wheel, glass covering him, blood everywhere and the edge of the crumpled roof wedged against his wrists; where he leaned over, the gear shift stabbed into his side, literally. There was only a cloud of red hair from his side. The only other part of Deirdre she could see was a limp hand sticking out at an odd angle, fingers white with blood dripping.

She sat there, staring, mouthing like a fish out of water. She didn't even protest this time as strong arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her out. She didn't notice the boy had his face hidden in her arm, or the pallid, almost green tint to it. Nor did she hear him being sick across the highway shortly afterward. 

It was all a blaze of lights and shouting. Blue and red and violent white lights blinded her as many hands pushed her into a white van. She watched several men with hacksaws pass her as they shoved her in.

A woman with a soft kind voice spoke to Celes, but she hardly heard a word. The handless boy and Deirdre's dripping blood filled her eyes.

"It's okay dear. You're okay now. Can you tell us of someone to call? Anyone?"

Celes sobbed softly into her hands, shaking her head. She couldn't think, she didn't want to think. Gentle hands were touching her ankle and wrist, pulling her hands from her face.

"You've got to let us help you now" someone was saying. But she ignored the voice.

They forced her into a wheel chair, but Celes continued to sob silently now. She didn't have the energy to be noisy.

"Did you find an ID on her?"

The room was stark white and sterile. It was almost sickly with the smell of it. The leather bench was hard and cold under her hands, but she was burning inside, yet totally frozen. People, there were people everywhere. They kept trying to ask her questions. Where did she live? Who had she been with? Did she see what happened? 

The voices were telling her she was safe, that she would be okay. But Deirdre's bloody limp hand filled her mind. It's all she could see.

Suddenly she was alone, and Celes leaned forward on herself, sobbing loudly again.

The night was cold and long. Her roommates had appeared shortly afterward and took her home, but all she could do was cry. Nothing too bad–sprained ankle, strained wrist. She'd be sore tomorrow with a multitude of bruises, but her seat belt had saved her.

She was in a cloud and a haze. She didn't even notice as she got up and sat at the kitchen table, staring blankly forward. It was automatic. She didn't blink as she watched the closed door. Maybe Deirdre would walk in. Maybe this was a bad nightmarethat was it.

"Celes?" Maryanne asked. Celes blinked again in reply. Then she felt Maryanne hug her from behind, and not let go. Then she sobbed and didn't stop.

"It's okay. It's going to be okay. Deirdre will be fine, you'll see"

Celes hiccuped and cried more. "It's not fair. It's not fair."

Maryanne rocked her roommate in her arms. "You're okay and she'll be okay."

"You didn't see herthe cartha-that boy." She was starting to stutter again. She hated it when she stuttered so she quit talking and just cried some more.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N I'm actually home now and posting this myself! (I had my sister post my last couple chapters for me). I love being home! And I survived one more semester! Three semesters down and only seven to go! That sounds so sadanyway, I just wanted to thank everyone for sticking with this story and still reading it! I've tried to answer some of your reviews, especially the ones that were emailed directly to me, but I don't know if they made it or not. But thank you all for reading and I'm so glad that you are enjoying this. I'm going to try and get another chapter written before I go back to school. If I do, I'll post another one before I leave, but I'm not sure how likely that is. Sorry. And I know this is a horrible cliffhanger–sorry! But just stick with me please! Have a wonderful holiday and thanks again! If I didn't know that people still wanted to read this story, I'd probably quit writing it–since I know the ending and all. So quite honestly you guys keep me writing. Happy holidays! Toodles for now, Tygerlilee =^;^=


	14. Help Wanted

Chapter Fourteen

Help Wanted

            When Marcus flew into the hospital he met five young women parked outside of an operating room.  Two were staring blankly ahead, one was crying silently, one was sobbing loudly, and one just sat there with a stern look.

            A couple of the girls looked up and nodded at him as he stood in front of them.  "What happened?" he asked simply.  He could still feel his stomach lurching from the flight.  Stupid jet lag.

            Celes curled up into a ball, cradling her wrist and ankle, and her bawling subsided into soft tears, muffled by her knees.  "Celes and Deirdre were being driven to Ianthe's scrimmage," Maryanne said in a monotone.  Her eyes were dry.  "A truck barreled through and turned into the wrong lane pushing the car sideways.  If flipped completely over and slammed into the guardrail.  Deirdre and the driver were both severely injured.  Celes hurt her ankle and wrist and the other boy was perfectly fine.  The driver of the oncoming car has a minor concussion, but that's all."

            Marcus nodded and came over to Celes' crumpled figure.  He spoke softly as he pried for more information.  "How is the driver?"

            It was Amada, wiping her eyes, who spoke now.  "They had to amputate his hands.  They were basically cut off by the crumpled car-roof.  He has a severe concussion and his knees were shattered.  He also has a pretty bad gash in his side.  But the doctor's say he'll survive, and learn to cope without his hands…."  Her voice trailed off weakly.

            "And Deirdre?"  Marcus was fighting to keep his voice steady now.  He had to be strong and safe, to help these girls.  But his heart was pounding so hard he thought it would break through his ribcage.  Kiki had called him to tell him what had happened, that they needed his help if he could come, take a little time from work.  Coming from Kiki, he knew it must be serious.

            "She wasn't wearing her seatbelt.  She complained about her shoe hurting her so she was bending over to fix it when we were hit," Celes said in a strained voice.  It sounded as if it was costing her all her strength to suppress her sobs long enough to speak comprehensibly.

            Kiki took the narrative over.  "They had to cut her and that other guy out of the car.  She has at least one broken arm, several fractured ribs, and a bunch of other complicated things the doctor mentioned that I've never heard of that had to do with her legs.  I think basically she hit her head pretty hard and is suffering from some internal injuries and her bent knees rammed against the dashboard.  She's been in surgery for five hours now."

            Marcus swore softly.  Milliardo would have his head, as if he didn't feel bad enough already.  He liked Deirdre, a lot, to put it lightly.  But he surveyed the girls and made a quick decision.  "You all need some sleep.  Go home and I'll stay here if they need someone for her."

            "No." Kiki's eyes were flaring.  "We're staying here and waiting."  The other girls looked at him resolutely, daring him to say another word about them leaving.

            But a nurse came out of the O.R. looking grave and it stopped Marcus from his biting retort.  "We've done all we can do right now.   We need to watch her over-night and see if she continues to bleed.  The doctor will be out to speak with you in greater detail in a moment.  I'm just here to tell you that she's was semi-conscious for a few minutes…."

            Everyone jumped at that.  "That's a good sign, isn't it?" Maryanne asked.

            "Yes.  Especially since she spoke.  She asked for someone named Heero.  I thought maybe it would be nice if you brought him here to see her."  Then the nurse apologized and left quickly, tactfully ignoring the tear-streaked faces.

            "Who the heck is Heero?" Ianthe scrunched her face.  Her frank, unemotional voice broke the tension.

            "I've known her for nearly four years now.  I've never heard her mention a Heero, and if he's that important you'd think I'd have heard about him," Maryanne observed.

            "What's her brother's name?" Amada said quickly.

            Maryanne looked thoughtful for a moment.  "You know, after all the times she's mentioned him, I don't think she's ever said his name.  It's always been 'brother'.  Maybe that's who he is."

            "No."  Everyone looked at Marcus in surprise.

            "You know who Heero is?" Ianthe cocked an incredulous eyebrow.

            "No.  I haven't the foggiest idea who Heero is, but I do know that he's not her brother."

            "Maybe he'll know who he is.  If she can wake up and say his name, he must be pretty important."

            "Unless he's someone who died a long time ago but she cared about…." Amada suggested.

            Kiki snorted.  "You mean like that Tai jerk?"

            "That's it!  He's an old friend!  I bet he'd know!" Maryanne said excitedly.  "He knew her in high school, didn't he?  He'd be sure to know!  Do you know where Deirdre keeps his number?"

            Kiki shifted uneasily.  She really didn't trust this Tai guy.  It wasn't exactly her business if Deirdre wanted to get mixed up with him, but it was fishy the way she talked about him.  "Yes…"  

            "Well, let's go!"

            Five minutes later Marcus found himself chauffeuring five near hysterical girls around.  Kiki and Deirdre's room was completely unrecognizable after about ten minutes of frantic searching and flinging or objects.  Fortunately, Amada's wild flailing only resulted in a few slight bruises from flinging the large PS book at Ianthe's face.   

            When Maryanne triumphantly screamed, "I found it!" Marcus sank uneasily down into a chair.  What if Relena had died?  What would have happened?  Relena Darlian would have just vanished into thin air forever.  This was too close, and in reality, not over yet.

            He heard Amada chatting excitedly on the phone to someone.  She must have reached this Tai guy.

            The girls were chattering like a bunch of hyenas.  All they needed was something to distract them, to make them feel useful in helping Deirdre.  

            But something was missing.  

            Marcus sat up and watched the girls.  A certain blond was missing.  He got up and knocked softly on her bedroom door, but there was no answer.

            Unceremoniously waltzing in, he found her staring at the poster-plastered cinderblock wall with empty blue eyes in a red, tear stained face.  Celes was the most cheerful and enthusiastic of all the girls.  She was scary, acting like this.

            He sat down on the end of the pink blanket and rubbed her good ankle gently.  "Celes…"

            She blinked, but gave no other sign that she heard him.  "Celes, please look at me.  You're scaring me."  She blinked again but turned to him.  She tried to force a smile but it looked so painful that he winced.  Then he had her in his arms, stroking her hair and murmuring in her ear soft comforting words.  He hardly even knew what he was saying to her.

            She was thin, too thin.  It was like cradling Raggedy Anne with the floppy arms and legs.  Rocking her back and forth, he heard himself pleading with her, asking her to talk to him.  Maybe he couldn't take care of Deirdre, but he would take care of this girl.  He could do this, here and now.

            Tai looked up from his mound of books to Huy's voice calling him.  He was holding the phone with a bewildered look.  "It's a girl!" he was saying in an incredulous whisper.

            Snapping himself from la-la land, Tai propped himself up on his elbows and took the receiver from his brother.  "Hello," was his curt salutation.

            "Tai?" a female voice, which he did not recognize, hesitated.

            "Yes."

            "This is Amada, one of Deirdre's roommates," a girl told him in a rush.  She had a shrill little voice and sounded exceedingly relieved.  "I was just calling because I thought you should know that she was in a pretty bad car accident."

            Tai was glad that the girl hadn't asked him any questions as of yet because he felt his heart stop and throat clog up.  _Accident?_  He pushed his initial feeling out, mostly because he was confused by it and replaced it with a comfortable, familiar feeling.  Annoyance.  Wouldn't that be just grand, after all the hiding and careful planning and three and a half years of successful hiding, she got herself into a car wreck.  That was a safe emotion…but not very nice, he amended.

            The girl, what was her name?  Amanda?  Amada?  Something like that, but she was talking about surgery and Deirdre going to make it.  Tai felt his heart start again, and blamed it on worrying about peace and the colonies.

            "She was conscious for a little while, and she asked for someone named Heero.  We thought maybe you might know who she was talking about."

            Tai stared straight ahead for a moment before speaking.  He didn't trust his voice, he was sure it would crack as it hadn't since he was thirteen.  "I'll be right there, as soon as possible."  And he hung up.  He couldn't cope with questions.   Then he flew to the computer and began searching shuttle reservations.

            "Uh…earth to Tai…what's going on?" Huy asked, his voice just barely reaching his brother.

            "Deirdre was in a car wreck.  She was asking for 'Heero' during surgery.  I'm going there."

            "But you have midterms….remember?  You kind of need to pass them, you know?"

            Tai didn't say anything for a moment as he dialed a number and spoke to a travel agent, who wasn't very helpful, telling him all flights were full.  Then he answered Huy's question/statement.  "I guess I'll just have to fail," he told Huy as he pulled out an old duffel bag.

            "Hey, you don't think I'm going to let you go alone!" Huy yelled as Tai ran out of the room for a minute, presumably to arrange some things for the flight.

            Marcus paced up and down the hallway.  Deirdre was in surgery again, and she'd come to just long enough to ask for this Heero person again.  The girls all sat quietly with their school books and sightless eyes in the hall full of recovery rooms.  They would wheel Deirdre back here when they were done.

            "Let me get this straight--you said that when you told Tai about Heero, he said 'I'm coming?' correct?"

            Amada glared at him.  "Yes.  For the millionth time, yes, yes, and yes.  I don't understand it.  But that's what he said.  It was like he didn't even hear me.  He just said 'I'm coming' and hung up."  Amada was really getting sick of Marcus butting in.  He'd been a great help with Celes, but other than that he was just a pain, always jumping on everyone's cases and questioning every nurse that went in to check on Deirdre.  It was like had elected himself personal bodyguard for Deirdre.

            They all jumped as a resounding crash startled the silence of the hospital hall with it's soft beeping machines and air conditioners.  A dark headed boy bounded into the hallway, panting.  He looked around at them, wide-eyed so they saw he was of Asian descent.

            He swore loudly.  "You guys seen someone around here who looks just like me, only surly?"

            The girls shook their heads mutely.  Marcus glared as the boy looked frustrated and sat down next to Ianthe.  "What do you want?"

            "I'm trying to find my brother.  You see, we flew in and then he just dashed off and I couldn't find him, but I knew he'd want to come here eventually so I came.  But he's not here so now I guess I'll just wait."

            They all just blinked at his cheerful torrent of words.

            "Who are you?" Kiki asked scornfully.

            He grinned, completely unconcerned.  "I'm Huy Iwasato.  Who are you all waiting for?"

            "Our roommate…" Maryanne said slowly.

            "Deirdre?" Huy guessed.  They nodded.  "Great.  I'm glad I could meet you all.  Which one's which?  And who are you?" he asked lightly, turning to Marcus.  "I'm sure you're not a roommate."  Marcus didn't much like this boy.  He reminded him sharply of the unnaturally cheerful and annoyingly contagious Maxwell who hung around the Preventors sometimes.  He really wished Zechs would get rid of that Maxwell kid.  You couldn't trust cheerful people like that—only people that cheerful are selling something.

            "Of course not," he snapped impatiently.  Who the heck was this clown.  "I'm a friend."

            "Oh, I thought you just like to frequent the hospitals and visit complete strangers!" Huy winked.  Marcus reiterated in his mind that he did _not _like this boy.

            "What's your brother want with Deirdre," Marcus snapped.  It was all he could do to keep from yelling.  His nerves were short.

            "He's Tai's brother," Kiki told them.  They all looked at her in surprise.  "Huy's fiancee came and stayed with Deirdre and I over Christmas.  I take it you quit being a pig?" she asked, turning to him.

            He scratched his head.  "Yah…I'm a giant git.  I know that.  She knows that.  Don't ask me why she's still marrying me."

            Ten minutes later Kiki was sorry she'd asked him any question at all.  He could go on forever, and not take any visible breath.  But the other girls were giggling now.  Even Celes was starting to smile.  He was a clown.  But Marcus was looking more irritable than ever.

            "Is your brother like you?" Kiki asked suddenly.

            Huy laughed loudly.  "Heavens no.  We're complete opposites.  He's too serious, I'm too goofy.  Together we get along fine.  Kind of like our parents.  He's like dad, I'm like mom.  But we won't be getting married or anything," he winked mischievously.  

            "Incidentally," he went on, "does Deirdre talk much about Tai?"

            "No.  Just in passing," Amada told him.  

            "Hm.  I guess this could take some work after all," he said shifting into a mock Sherlock Holmes position.  He noted their confusion and paused to elaborate.  "You see, my incredibly stiff brother has never really shown much care for any girl, ever, except Deirdre.  And she seemed to like him a lot.  Naturally, I ask myself, why aren't they together when they obviously should be."

            "You're going to play match-maker between a guy who played dead and a sweet innocent girl?" Ianthe asked with obvious scorn.

            "Hey, she's friends with Tai.  She can't be _that naïve," he retorted flatly._

            "What's that supposed to mean?" Maryanne jumped up.  "What kind of person is this Tai anyway?  Getting Deirdre mixed up in things she shouldn't be?"

            "Absolutely nothing.  Huy's just jabbering nonsense as usual," a new voice said from the hallway, startling them all.

            Huy jumped up indignantly and everyone gaped at the slightly shorter elusive "Tai."  He had a stern face and a commanding presence.  You knew right away not to mess with him.  

            "Where in blue blazes did you run off to!  You can just leave me like that!!!" Huy was yelling, heedless of the O.R. and patients, presumably attempting to sleep. 

            Tai just looked at his brother calmly.  "You chose to follow me.  Thus, you proceed at your own risk.  I'm not going to waste any time babysitting."

            Huy narrowed his eyes.  "Hey, I'm covering your sorry rear!  I went and talked to all your professors and pleaded for a make-up date for all your exams!"

            "I took them before I left.  They probably knew you were pretending to be me."

            Huy balked at that.  "Oh yah, how did they know you had a twin?"

            "Huy, you don't exactly blend into a crowd.  Everyone knows you.  You make sure of it."  Marcus got the distinct impression that Tai wasn't even really listening to his brother.  He was watching everyone with unnerving frankness.

            "You make being social sound like a bad thing!" Huy shot back.

            "If that's how you choose to take my words."

            Huy jumped at his brother, but Tai smoothly dodged and pulled Deirdre's chart out of its clear plastic box outside the door.

            "Hey, you can't do that!" Marcus jumped up.  First, Huy was making a racket, and second, this Tai was just waltzing in like he owned the place and taking Deirdre's chart.  "That's illegal."

            "Talk to someone who cares," Tai said flatly.  Marcus' eyes widened.

            "Yah, it's not like it's the first time you've done something illegal."  Huy was pulling himself off the ground.  "You know, if anyone catches what you did with those shuttle tickets…"

            "No one ever has."

            "You hacked into a government computer system!" Huy said indignantly.  "You think people aren't going to catch you?"

            "Huy, I've been doing it since I was in grade school.  And I've yet to be caught."

            The girls looked like they had all had enough.  "Who are you?  There's no way the Deirdre would be attached to someone as deplorable as you!" Ianthe was yelling now.

            But Tai just shrugged.  Kiki couldn't believe than anyone could be so calm with people all around yelling.  "I don't claim to understand it.  And I'm not a common criminal.  I do what is necessary for the job.  Currently, my job is making sure that Deirdre lives.  If it involves hacking computer systems and checking charts, so be it."

            "I don't see how stealing hospital records can help Deirdre's position," Marcus spat irritably.

            "You're right.  It won't.  But at least I now know her state."

            "We could have told you that," Ianthe nearly shouted.

            "In a garbled third or forth hand account…" he said, his voice flat without a trace of sarcasm.  Before anyone else could explode he continued.  "I'll be back in a bit.  I need to take care of some things.  She won't be out for another several hours.  Huy, do me a favor he stay here."

            The brothers looked at each other and seemed to say something to each other without words.  Huy nodded gravely.  "Sure.  Hurry back.  And give Kieko a call for me.   I prefer to still be engaged when I come home.  I've already screwed up once and all.  She'll listen to you."

            Tai nodded, clapped his brother's shoulder and walked out.

            "What just happened?" Kiki was the first to ask.

            Huy sighed and sank back down to his seat facing six glaring sets of eyes.  "That was my brother, the sole human living completely devoid of tact, grace, or anything remotely resembling manners.  Actually, he's just extra bad right now because he worried about Deirdre.  I've never seen him so worried in my life.  He's usually pretty nice, actually."

            "What was this illegal stuff you guys were talking about?" Marcus demanded.  His temper was still up.

            "He hacked into the shuttle ports records because they said they didn't have room for us on a flight, but you know those shuttles, there's always room for one or two more.  He's amazing with machines of any kind and can hack into anything. I don't think there's anything he can't do."

            Marcus continued his barrage of questions.  "Where did he go now?"

            "Haven't a clue.  But you can bet he has his reasons and will be back.  He's pretty dependable.  I don't think he can lie.  He just states things as they are and goes with it.  If someone's in his way, he hits them.  If he needs something, he'll do what he has to get it.  He's not someone to mess with."  Huy was looking bored.

            "So he'll be back?"

            "Yes."

            "Does he know this 'Heero' Deirdre wants to see?"

            Huy hesitated for a second and looked a little surprised.  "What about Heero?"

            "You know him then?" Amada asked before Marcus could.

            "Yah.  I know him.  We both do.  What about him?" Huy was looking a little worried now and leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

            "She was calling out his name."  Marcus looked none too happy about this.

            Huy nodded gravely.  "I see…" was all he said.

            Everyone looked expectantly at him, but he ignored their eyes, stood up, and immediately broke into a hoard of stories which had them laughing and forgetting everything within ten minutes.  It was two hours before Tai came back, with several plastic bags.  "I brought provisions," he told them as he handed out sub sandwiches.  Huy was grinning ear to ear.  Marcus jumped at the word 'provisions.'

            He didn't want to admit that he was grateful to this rude, selfish boy but he was pretty hungry, and accepted his with a stiff nod.  As they sat down, he attempted to interrogate Tai again.  "Were you a soldier?"  The use of the word 'provisions' was just too odd to ignore.

            Huy choked on his food but Tai looked unconcerned as he sat down placidly.  He was a person with a completely unreadable face.  "Yes."

            "How old are you?" Maryanne asked, incredulous.

            "Nearly twenty-two."

            "But then…you would have been…"

            "Fifteen during the war.  Yes."

            Marcus let in some breath.  That explained a lot.  He'd met many soldiers and some people were affected more than others.  But something was bothering him.  "Didn't you fight, Huy?"

            "Me?" he looked surprised and pointed unconsciously to himself.  "No.  No, Tai and I were in different situations, you might say.  So they didn't call me.  I'm useless.  Tai here is amazing with everything."

            "Only because I was trained," Tai said, not with modesty, but with resentment, much to Marcus' surprise.

            "So how do you know Deirdre exactly?"  Tai sighed at Amada's questions and a couple girls giggled.  His expression was too funny.  Expectant and exasperated.

            It was all he could do to keep from massaging his temples.  The billion dollar question—how to explain how he and Deirdre had met without giving anything away?  He could feel everyone hanging on his every word and was not blind to the fact that they were judging him, and none to kindly.  "We met in high school," he decided lamely.  That was true.  They had gone to school together.  For a time, a very short time.

            He tried to concentrate on chewing, but his throat wasn't working properly.

            "That's what she told us.  Was it before or after the war?" Amada was looking a little interested, watching him warily.

            Tai tried not to look like he was doing quick thinking.  "Before," he decided.

            "So were you a prick before to war to, or just now?" Ianthe asked nastily.  Maryanne 'tut-tutted' her, but Ianthe didn't seem to care.

            Several years ago, Tai would not have cared if someone said that about him.  This was the one raunchy thing about living with his family and making friends.  These comments could sting.  But he supposed most of her opinion came from the 'dying' story.  

            Then a muted high-pitched clicking metallic sound echoes through the sterile hall.  Several nurses were wheeling a bed toward them.  They stopped in front of Deirdre's door and paused to swing it wide and clear space for Deirdre.  Her face was pale and her eyes sunken in.  She coughed softly and blinked.  Then her clouded eyes rested on Tai—he could feel his heart skip.  It was just relief, he told himself.  Just relieved.

            "Heero…" her voice was almost inaudible and everyone was staring at Tai again, he could feel the eyes on his back.  He had to shut her up before she said anything else in this delusional state.

            He strode over and peered down at her, the nurses looking at him happily.  "She's been asking for you constantly!"  She obviously assumed that he was Heero.

            Pushing the blankets aside, he found her hand.  "Deirdre," he told her firmly, reminding her of her own name.  "Deirdre, it's Tai.  Do you recognize me?"

            She smiled and whispered.  "I recognize you…Tai."  The nurses started to wheel her away but she started.  "Tai…" she said again.

            "It's okay, honey.  He'll be right here.  We just have to get you settled, then he can stay with you all you like, and maybe this Heero will come later," the motherly nurse comforted, patting her head delicately and looking sheepish for assuming he was Heero.

            Within five minutes, Tai had a chair set up beside her bed and was holding her hand carefully, while everyone else filled up the room.   Deirdre seemed more lucid the longer she was awake, but the nurses warned them not to tire her.

            She smiled at everyone, and looked flattered, or at least as much as she could under the circumstances.  "Huy…how's…Kieko?"

            He grinned.  "Beautiful as always.  And probably cursing me because she's found my note pinned to her door."

            They stayed with her a little while, but then her eyes began to close and they knew that they should be leaving her soon.  Tai was at the door when she suddenly woke again.  "Don't…don't tell…Milliardo.  Please….don't tell him…." Her voice was weak and she obviously had forgotten who she was with.  Tai decided the best course was to answer her and distract everyone who was looking curiously at him.  Especially Marcus.

            "He won't hear it from me.  He won't need to.  I'll take care of you, Deirdre," he promised.  She smiled, it looked a bit like a wilted daisy.  

            "Again?  It's all you seem to be doing…."  Her eyes closed again, dark lashes framing her sunken eyes.

            Huy was at the girls' apartment when Kieko informed him exactly what she thought of his note, which had come unstuck from the door and fall through the slats of the porch, down to the ground.  She had spent five sleepless days worrying when she stumbled across it while visiting a downstairs neighbor.  She informed him and everyone else within listening distance, which was about a three mile radius with the level of screaming she was doing.

            "You could fail all your classes, then you'll probably not even make it into grad school and then what will I be left with?  A lazy bum of a husband, that's what!!!"

            Huy was holding the phone three feet from his ear and grinning limply at everyone.  "I think she's PMSing," he mouthed.  When Kieko had paused for a breath he jumped in.  "You don't think I could let Tai come here alone!  And Deirdre is really bad off.  She needs him and Tai needs me.  It's a screwed up triangle!  We won't be gone much longer, I promise!" 

            "You've already been gone nearly a week!  And I've been sitting here worrying like mad about you and Tai!  I'd have thought at least HE would be responsible!"

            "We were resp—"

            But she cut him off again with more of her worries.  Finally he had to butt in.  "I'm sorry I worried you but would you please calm down and sound like a normal human for about five minutes!  I was trying to tell you that Deirdre's doing better and we'll be able to come home within a few days.  Tai's booked the flight and everything.  Please don't scream like that!"

            They could hear Kieko breathing heavily, like a hippo out-running a crocodile.  She muttered something curt that no one could catch and hung up.  Huy sighed and sank back to his chair.

            "Well, that was a lovely little call…." Maryanne grinned at him.  He smiled weakly.  The girls had all taken a great liking to the charismatic Huy, despite Marcus' surely looks.  But even Marcus had to admit that Tai wasn't so bad either.  He had practically lived at Deirdre's bedside, and he seemed to be all she wanted.  She'd quit calling for Heero, so it was plain to everyone that he WAS Heero, even though Huy tried to dodge all questions and Tai just wouldn't answer.  

            Tai helped feed her, talked with her, brought her newspapers and held them while she read.  He even snuck a TV in so that she could watch the news.  It was incredible the change wrought in him when he was around her, and vice versa.

            The phone rang again and Huy jumped five feet in the air.  Amada and Celes, who was much better now that Deirdre was out of danger, giggled.  Ianthe answered and looked wide-eyed at everyone as she spoke the usual "Uh-huh's" and "No's" to the person on the other end.  She hung up nervously.

            Marcus snapped sharply at her, and brought her back to reality.

            "Deirdre's missing.  She and Tai both.  They just up and disappeared.  The nurses can't find them anywhere.  The nurse at the information desk said that a Japanese boy wheeled a red-haired girl out of the hospital a couple hours ago, but they can't find her."

            "If he's hurt her…" Marcus snarled.

            Huy jumped up.  "Tai would die protecting her.  She's safe, where ever they are."

            "Why is it that I'm so doubtful…."

            "You don't even know Tai, so how can you say anything?"  Despite the first impression of hateful siblings, the twins had proved to be surprisingly close and friendly to each other.

            "That's exactly why I'm worried.  Who is this Tai, or Heero, or whoever the heck he is?  How can we trust him?"

            "He knew her WAY before you did!  Shouldn't it be the other way around?" Huy yelled.  Tai was always calm amid accusations, but Huy, on the other hand, screamed right back.  "You don't know what you're talking about, prep boy!"  Huy's back was arched and he strongly resembled a cat, hair on end and screeching.

            Marcus was on his feet in an instant when the door flew open.  Tai stood there, arms full of a smiling Deirdre, her red hair braided down her back with daisies woven through it.  Her jaw dropped slightly as she took in the scene before her.

            "Tai, come here and defend your honor!  I'm sick of seeing you take all this crap from this…this…." He never determined what Marcus was, but continued to stutter.

            But Tai looked as he always did, eyebrows knit.  "What have I done this time?"

            "Removed a girl in very fragile health from the hospital without permission!" Marcus rounded on him.

            Deirdre clung to his collar, but Tai walked in and carefully put her down on the couch.  "She needed some fresh air and if she'd shown any signs of weakness at all, I'd have taken her back.  I did tell the nurse at the desk I was taking her for a walk."

            "The doctor didn't give you permission.  What gives you the right to just waltz out of the hospital with her?"

            Tai shrugged and got a glass of water and handed it to Deirdre, who smiled.  She looked fine to Kiki, in fact, she even had more color in her.  She said as much to Marcus and he snapped rudely back at her.  Not that she cared, and shrugged it off.  She'd never liked Marcus very much.  She had expected to despise Tai, but found she couldn't help but like him.  It was fairly obvious why Deirdre depended on him so much.  It was simply because she _could_ and there were very few people in the world on whom you could depend.  Grab them if you can, Kiki thought.  So unlike certain fathers….she banished the thought quickly.  It just made her worry about her mother's health and the dream trip to the Philippines.

            But Marcus finally got up and stormed out of the apartment, without a backward glance.

            "Don't mind him," Celes told Tai and Huy.  "He's just worried."

            "I can understand that," Tai said softly.  "I think I better speak with him."  And he followed quickly.  Huy looked angrily at his brother and called after him, slamming to door behind him.

            "Well, that was odd…" Maryanne said, looking around at everyone.  "What did you and Tai do anyway, Deirdre?"

            They turned back to the grinning Deirdre.  She vaguely touched one of the daisies in her hair and smiled dreamily.  "He took me to the park and we had a little picnic.  I fell asleep though.  It was so nice…" she was smiling in a funny sort of way.

            "Did he kiss you?" Ianthe asked directly.

            Deirdre looked startled.  "No."  Then she looked a little sad.  "No.  But it was very nice…I wonder when he's going to take me back to the hospital…" she murmured.  It was obvious that no one would get any information out of her.

            "We'll take you.  If those boys are chasing Marcus down, it could be a while.  Where did he leave that wheel chair?"

            "Under the tree…" she told them, languidly yawning.

            Kiki and Amada exchanged worried looks.

            "Marcus, MARCUS!" Tai yelled after the blazing young man.  He could see him stop and turn around.  His face was red, and he rolled his shoulders back, as if bracing himself to meet a blow.

            Tai skidded to a halt in front of him.  "Marcus, we have to talk this stuff out.  I know you hate me, but I have to clear the record, I would never ever hurt Deirdre.  If I didn't think she was fully up to it, I never would have removed her.  And at the moment she shows any sign of weakness, I would take her back.  I want her safe as much as you do."

            "I suppose you know who she really is?" Marcus snapped.

            "I do, and all the more reason it's a good thing I'm here."

            "To protect her?  Yah, you protect her from bad guys and I'll keep her safe from you," he said vehemently.

            "I told you, I would never hurt her," Tai insisted showing the first bit of passion Marcus had ever detected from him.

            "And who are you?  Some old friend who played dead?  With code names and hacker alias's?  Real trustworthy!"

            Tai could hear Huy panting from behind.  "Don't mention who she really is," he warned Marcus with wide eyes, praying he'd get the message.

            "Hey, you want some help beating this jerk?" Huy asked as he skidded to a halt.  Marucs looked with narrowed eyes at Tai who replied with big eyes.  Marcus gave an imperceptible nod.  He got the message.

            "No.  We're fine.  But thanks Huy."

            "Gee, and I was just hoping too…."

            "He's a politician, not an athlete.  He wouldn't have been much fun for you," Tai said sarcastically.

            "Maybe.  He is pretty puny."

            Marcus was glaring again, but looked slightly nullified.  Something, Tai had no idea what, had gotten through.  "I'm going to go say goodbye to Deirdre.  I have to get back to work soon."  Then he turned away leaving a relieved Tai and angry Huy.

            "You called?" Marcus asked as he unceremoniously plopped himself in a padded chair.  The room was dark except for the single lit lamp behind the desk where a tall blond man sat.

            "Yes.  I was wondering how you were doing on your…project."  The speaker sat firmly back in his chair, eyes serious and trained directly onto the man before him.

            "Well…" Marcus sighed as he shifted in his chair.  "It seems that MAN is going to be the one to crumble.  But I don't think FFIC is going to last much longer either.  They've got a charismatic leader though.  I wouldn't be surprised if he was spared and bought by another group, much like what you did for White Fang."

            "Hm…Well, I doubt this person would be doing it for the reasons I did.  We'll have to keep an eye on his movements."

            Marcus nodded.  "Right.  Most of these groups only have bits and pieces of strength, but get someone smart to combine them all, and we'll have a royal mess on our hands.  I guess I'm glad we've got you Preventors to help out.  Especially with you on their side, Zechs."

            He snorted.  "I can see why you aren't advancing very quickly in the political realm.  Your flattery skills need work."

            "Oh?  Too obvious?  I suppose your sister is much better at such things," came the snide reply.

            "No.  Relena takes an entirely different approach.  This makes it unnecessary for her to do such things; it is understood that she is direct, honest, but polite.  No pussy-footing around."

            "Hn.  Speaking of which, I was wondering if you could do a background check on someone for me."  Marcus was avoiding Zechs hard gaze as he fished around in his briefcase by his side.

            "I don't like doing things like that unless I know why."

            "Well…that's the difficult part.  You'd probably ring my neck if I told you."

            Zechs did not look amused.

            "Okay.  It's about Relena.  I know where she is, but I'm worried about her, about some mess she might be getting herself into," Marcus admitted finally.

            Zechs gave no visible reaction but spoke quickly.  "Is she safe?  Does it have to do with any of the groups you've been watching while in the colonies?"

            "No.  She has nothing to do with my research.  She was very suspicious about my presence, but did not press me for any answers.  But I think that was more due to her own surprise rather than my skills of diversion.  No, while I was there she found an old friend, a highly suspicious friend.  Apparently he played dead on her for a few years and just popped up out of no where.  I'm fairly certain he knows who she is.  Anyway, he was visiting her this week due to some…extenuating circumstances.  He's a scary kid."  Zechs took a visible intake of breath.  "You know who I might be talking about."

            Zechs narrowed his eyes.  "What is his name?"

            "Iwasato.  Tai Iwasato."

            Zechs swore colorfully.

            "You do know him?  I take it you don't think too highly of him yourself?" Marcus queried.  He was starting to get more interested in this friend of Relena's.

            "I do know him and until a short while ago I had a certain amount of respect for him, then I found out that he had not died."

            "You knew and you didn't tell Relena!"  He couldn't help but raise his voice a little.  Could Zechs be that cruel to his sister, knowing that her friend was really alive but didn't talk?

            "I only found out at the end of last year.  I spoke to him and I think he has a pretty decent excuse.  I just didn't want to lay that bombshell on her yet, and I'm furious that he found her first.  He didn't really tell us too many details about himself either.  I think he's protecting himself, which is smart.  Do you know anything else?"

            "Well…I know he has a twin brother and that he's going to Swinson Institute.  I think he's in the life science department, but I can't remember his major.  I believe he's planning on medical school."  Zechs nodded.  "You already knew all of this, didn't you?"

            "Yes.  I did."

            "Then what information are you looking for?  Is he dangerous to Relena?"  One thing Marcus hated about dealing with Zechs Marquis was that you could not read his face.  He was evasive as a snake and held in all emotions or else revealed false ones.  He was a master of control and deceit, yet the most honest person he'd ever encountered.  It was confusing.  Marcus just liked to say for simplicity's sake, he did not understand how Zechs worked.  He was honorable yet hiding in the shadows.  He was the Lightening Count, hero of a respected organization yet the rebel leader of a group that attempted to destroy Earth.  He fought against his own sister but also fought to preserve her life.  It made Marcus' head spin.

            "At one time he was very dangerous to her and yet not so.  Now, I don't know.  THAT's the part that I'm trying to figure out," Zechs told him, which really said nothing useful at all.

            "How could he be dangerous and not at the same time?  I don't understand."

            "Don't worry about it.  Thank you for the information.  You understand what is needed of you know, don't you?" Zechs asked politely.

            Marcus narrowed his eyes at the blond man.  "Yes I do."  But he left it at that.  Nothing would escape Zechs' mouth that would help Marcus to understand what was going on.  The man was a closed book, giving nothing.  So he got up and exited the room quietly.  But then Zechs called after him.

            "Hey, Marcus!"

            "Yah?"

            "Don't worry about Iwasato.  If I decide he's a danger, I'll take care of him myself."

            Marcus nodded to the receptionist who was packing up her bag.  She smiled back.  Marcus was tired.  He had a shuttle back to Earth to catch.  Going from Earth to Mars to Colony to Mars and back to Earth.  It was running him ragged.  

            He was an assistant to the Secretary of Foreign affairs, meaning that when Relena came back, he'd be working quite closely with her on many things.  But having met Zechs Marquis and being made to realize a future threat of war, arguing stupid points of minor laws and boundaries seemed pointless.  So he'd become more intimately involved in Preventor business by watching politicians, seeing who they favored, if anyone.  If one of these small groups of upstarts were to gain some power, and get some legal backing, there would be trouble.  That was what Marcus was looking for, the political backing from misguided leaders.  This most recent mission had been following one such leader.  But there had been little cause to worry as two groups had fought, one losing all strength and completely dissolving while the other only barely lived.  And that was the group he hadn't been watching in the first place.  But still, he had a valuable name for Zechs.  The man was a potential threat.  The Preventors would have to watch him.

            It was funny but much of the Preventor work was spy and subterfuge.  Zechs probably hand picked his spies, Marcus mused.  He would have a formidable group.  Then there was Zechs' connection to the Gundam Pilots.  Now there was a conspiracy if there ever was one.  The giant machines which everyone watched help bring about piece, but the pilots' identities were never revealed and all information mysteriously disappeared from all networks.  It was as if they had never existed.  The only information available were rumors.  Most of the people who had such information were high ranking officials in the wars and many of those were dead, and the few that weren't worked for the Preventors or were controlled by the Preventors.    It was dangerous business asking around about them too.  Some said they died.  Some say the gundams were highly advanced mobile dolls from the start.  No one really knew.  But Zechs certainly did.  

            But now he was too exhausted to think.  Marcus returned his rental and parked himself in front of his gate, waiting to depart.  Earth.  Once again.  The place all were drawn too in the end.  It was a magnet, like Jews wanting to return to Israel, all humans wanted to return to earth.  

            The hardest part was making sure there would always be an earth to return too.  Marcus just hoped that Relena, young and innocent as she was, would be capable of what all believed she was.  The government wouldn't explode tomorrow, or in the next year or so, but it was dangerous.  They needed Relena to nip it in the bud.  He just hoped it wasn't in flower before she returned to work, and that she would be sufficiently recovered, physically and mentally.

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A/N  Thank  you again for all the reviews/comments!  Also, because I am back at school and due to an unusual set of circumstances, I have to have someone else actually update for me but my author's notes aren't very current, so if I have something to say I'll post it on my bio page.  I'll try to post and comments or answer any questions there.  Also, to answer some very old questions/comments that I don't think made it to the correct person,   Ummm…

Ken: I know guys don't worry about that.  I figure my characters are just being sarcastic if not making fun of the girls.

dark abaddon:  I'm not Filipino, but I have a friend who is.  Actually most of my friends are foreign or have foreign heritage.  That's the cool thing about college—I grew up in a place where the cultural diversity in my school, and consequently representative of my "city," consisted of three African Americans (two of which were identical twins and among my best friends) and maybe two Asians.  But at college, it's totally different, for example, I was walking with some friends from class and one of them cursed "your (meaning me) stupid country" for being so cold.  Then I looked are realized I was the only American present—there was a Mexican, Chilean, Canadian, Japanese, and Korean.  I thought it was hilarious.  And I have a German and a Taiwanese as roommates.  It's great!

Shanachie:  You're a doll for reading my stuff!  But I have to say it's pretty nerve racking to have someone who actually knows me read my stuff…hack…cough…another roommate...cough.  Not too obvious was I?  ^_~ (blinks innocently)

Lucifer Fujii:  Yes, that was by a very safe margin the longest review I've ever had.  Thank you for the suggestions and actually I have been taking a class that touches very lightly on linguistics and the histories of them—very interesting stuff.  I'm not a psychology major or minor, in fact I've never taken a psychology class in my life, but my sister (one of them) majored in it.  I tend to think Lady Une is full of crap as well—she did suffer from multiple personalities, of a sort any way.  And I hope you did well on your essays and homework.

And I really wanted to list everyone's names and thank everyone individually for reviewing me, but the list got waaaaaay too long and I'm lazy so I gave up.  But thank you to everyone!  I love you all!!!!!

Wish me luck in school—I'm up to my fourth semester of Japanese and it's just getting more and more complicated!  My Christmas list this year consisted of "Japanese/English dictionary, Kanzi dictionary, etc."  Kind of depressing.  

Also, as a note to future chapters, I know nothing about politics, the military, physics (unless you count high school, which I personally do not count), and I'm terrible at math.  Thus, the next few chapters that get into that kind of stuff, I am, in fact, pulling everything directly from my butt.  I am not one to try and pretend that I know everything, and people who do irritate me to no end, thus, I am confessing right now before I get into any of that stuff.  However, I do know a lot of other stuff, which I am not going to enumerate.  But please, if you know anything more than I do about said subjects and notice that I'm making a blithering idiot of myself displaying my severe ignorance when I write about them, please tell me so I can revise my chapters and fix any problems.  I haven't gotten into that stuff yet, but when I do, **_constructive_** critizisim will be much appriciated.

Thanks again and now that I have written my excessively long end notes—thank you and adieu and mata nee!  Yorosuku onegai simasu!

Toodles for now, Tygerlilee


	15. Sunny Days and Daisies

Chapter Fifteen

Sunny Days and Daisies

Tai knocked on Relena's apartment door and a disgruntled Ianthe answered. But this time she only glared at him–that was quite an improvement over the last couple days.

"Deirdre's on the couch," she told him, vaguely motioning toward the couch.

Tai walked in, Huy behind him and found her quietly reading. "Tai!" She smiled and sat up straighter, as she couldn't actually stand up yet. 

"I came by to say goodbye'."

"Oh." Deirdre's smile wilted a little. "Well, it's been nice to have you here! You've been so much help."

"I did promise I'd always be here." Tai could feel something pulling inside him, not that it mattered. He had to get back to school.

Deirdre looked down a minute and then looked back up with a fresh smiled. "You did promise, and you kept it. Thank you." Then she looked beyond him to Huy. "And thank you too. Say hi' to Kieko for me!"

Huy nodded and grinned. "Of course!"

Then Tai smiled at her. "Well" he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. People in his family always hugged goodbye–but did you do that with friends too? Huy prodded him in the back, so he took that as a yes and bent over and pulled Deirdre into a quick, gruff hug. "Call me if you need anything."

"I will." She smiled at him with glassy eyes, but Tai tried to ignore them–it hurt to leave her when she got that look.

Then Tai turned and walked away before he decided to stay longer. He strode briskly to the car, Huy chasing after him. "You think you can slow down a bit, or are you afraid that you'll be pulled back in by her and be unable to leave?"

Tai stopped long enough to glare back he brother, then he pulled out the car keys and got in. 

"Okay, okay. I get the message. I'm sorry. I just think it's silly that you guys don't get together."

"Just drop it Huy." Tai kept his eyes carefully on the road. He didn't want to look at Huy.

"Whatever." Huy slouched down into his seat and switched on the radio. Tai kept looking ahead.

The shuttle was on time and Kieko was there to pick them up, as usual and Tai looked politely away as his brother and Kieko had there little hello' kiss.

"You're awfully quiet!" Kieko told him from the driver's seat in the car. "Well, quieter than usual anyway."

Tai shrugged. "I've got a lot to do. I'm a little stressed."

Kieko's eyebrows flattened out. "Right." Then Huy whispered something Tai couldn't hear and Kieko didn't say anything else. When they arrived at him, Tai climbed out and Huy told him to go on up.

Tai sighed as he slung his bag into his apartment and plugged in his laptop. Might as well get started on everything he'd missed. The first thing he noticed was a message on his computer. It was Zechs.

Dialing up, Tai tried to think of anything that Zechs could possibly have to say to him. There could really be only one of two things–he needed military help of some sort or it was about Relena.

"Iwasato." Zechs greeted abruptly, as usual. "Nice to see you are well."

"Same to you. What did you want?"

"A little birdie told me that you have been speaking with Relena. Is she okay?"

"Why wouldn't she be okay?" Tai was a little suspicious. Zechs, ever the evasive, was dancing around his true concerns, but Tai wasn't sure what those concerns may be.

"I was just worried that perhaps finding out that you are truly alive after so long may have been a bit much for her." Zechs face was still unreadable.

Tai thought quickly, trying to analyze the situation and decide what to tell. "She was surprised and upset, but she was fine. She should still be fully capable mentally and emotionally to take over her position once more, so you have no need too worry."

Zechs nodded gravely. "Iwasato, I just want to make it abundantly clear that the political situation is very delicate currently"

"As it always is," Tai interrupted.

"Thus," Zechs continued, ignoring Tai, "I would appreciate it if you would not stress her overmuch."

Tai breathed in deeply. "I understand." And they hung up. Tai did understand very well–"stay away from my sister and don't screw around with her brain you blithering idiot!" Well, Tai would make sure he stayed out of the way. He was her friend, and nothing more. He would help her along and take care of her. It would be fine.

As Deirdre watched him go, she felt as if another part of her had died. He was gone again. He turned and looked back at her for a second, Huy the faithful watch pup by his side. The corners of his mouth flicked up for a second and a semblance of a smile, then he was gone.

She lay back and closed her eyes, willing the pain away. Why did it have to be like this? Never telling him a thing, always watching his back as he walked away. She wished there could be a time when she didn't have to say goodbye, but it was impossible anyway.

The happy, yellow centered flowers smiled at her from their little glass home on the nightstand. She reached out to touch one of the delicate petals. If felt like velvet, but lighter.

Tai had walked into her room and declared that they were going out and transferred her to a wheelchair. He was surprisingly strong for someone so slight of frame and seemed to know what he was doing. She felt no pain in her midriff from the sudden movement. That's when she learned of his working in hospitals at home during breaks. Of course he'd transferred patients many times.

The nurse at the desk had looked surprised as he told her what they were doing. It was clear that no asking would be taking place. There was a cab out front and Tai tucked her in, and folded up the wheel chair beside her. The driver dropped them off at a little park she recognized, not too far from her apartment.

It was sunny and warm despite the chilly March winds. The grass was just starting to grow again and the ground would be soggy soon with April rains. Tai had parked her under a tree and then picked her up delicately. But she started to protest at this.

"I want to show you something I found. But the wheel chair can't go there," he told her simply. So she relaxed and enjoyed the ride'.

Daisies in March. They were beautiful growing around a little pond full of slick little ducks and chirping birds. It was there that they ate and talked. She fell asleep against him for the second time, but this time, when she awoke, he wasn't looking embarrassed, but happy, content.

She could not forget his hand on her face, flicking a lock of hair from her eyes. He looked so contentif only they could have stayed like that forever. She wouldn't have to say anything to him, just bask in his smile.

But it couldn't happen like that. Not for now. And she turned to her pillow, refusing the tears access.

Julie slammed down the phone and Kieko jumped visibly at the sound as she walked in. "What on earth was that about!"

"OhI just broke up with Jordan."

Kieko nodded. They'd started dating right after finals, and it had looked fun, but Kieko had always had her private doubts so she wasn't surprised at all. "I'm sorry it didn't work out."

Julie shrugged and tried very hard to plaster a smile on her face. "Yah well that's life." She sat down at the table and pulled out a textbook. Kieko watched her out of the corner of her eye as she fixed herself dinner. Julie shifted her weight around and kept tapping her pencil on the table.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kieko finally asked.

Julie scrunched up her mouth into a small round prune shape. "No I don't know!"

Kieko rushed to the table and sat across from her roommate. "Okay, what happened?"

Julie groaned and buried her face in her arms. "I don't know" she said in a muffled voice. "It just felt kind of wrong to begin with. He was nice and interesting and liked me and that NEVER happens. ButI just don't know anything anymore!"

Kieko pat her arm soothingly. "Dating's annoying. But it's okay because at least you were smart and ended things while it was still okay."

"It wouldn't be nearly so bad except that he took it so hard! I've never heard him get mad like that! He almost started to call me names. I could tell. You know when people get that tight sound in their voices?"

Kieko nodded to the now sitting up Julie. "But you didn't break up with him OVER the phone, did you?"

"No, no. I talked to him earlier. But he was just calling to try and talk things through and got mad and it was a mess."

"Well, you were dating for three months."

"But I did break up with him before finals so I couldn't distract him!" Kieko cocked an eyebrow. "Okay, I know, dumb excuse," Julie admitted.

Kieko nodded again. "But it sounds like you did the right thing so everything should be just fine!"

Julie sighed. "I'm taking a walk."

"Okay. Be back before it gets too late! You don't want to get attacked or anything!"

"Right" Julie said sarcastically. "See you later."

Kieko sighed and looked down at her ramen as she heard the door close behind her roommate and the apartment was quiet again. It was rare that Kieko was totally alone. Either Julie or Huy one were home when she was, usually. It was kind of nice. She slumped over and breathed in again.

Only a month and a half until the wedding. A month and a half until she would be Mrs. Huy Iwasato. That sounded so weird. She'd have to get used to signing a different name. She looked down at her hand and let the diamond on her finger reflect silver shadows on the wall. It was so pretty, still. A little dirty though–she needed to get it cleaned.

And Tai would be starting med school in the fall. He took his MCAT and aced it, naturally. He was accepted to all the schools he applied to, naturally. He even got a government grant to help pay for it all so he wouldn't have such horrendous debts once he got out, only medium debts. Huy was so proud of his brother.

That had been a relief too–Huy had done well on his GRE and managed to get accepted at a couple different graduate schools. They had decided on one near the colony Huy's parents lived on. Kieko could finish school out there and Huy could work on his PhD and they'd be near some family in case they needed help, and Kieko would rather live near Huy's family than her own. Not that she didn't love her family, but it just wouldn't work–she could barely stand to be in the same room as her mother for more than two minutes at a time.

Someone knocked on the door and interrupted Kieko's rolling thoughts. "Come in!"

Huy burst through the door with his usually huge grin. "He-llo!"

"Someone's in a good mood!"

Huy came in behind her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders and kissed her cheeks. "I'm always in a good mood when I see you!"

Kieko pat his arm. "Well, it's not five yet and we need to get you fit for your tuxedo."

"Arg!"

Tai had all of his books spread over the entire room. He was exhausted but he still had more too do–several papers and all his finals. Huy kept reminding him that he'd already made it into medical school, so what did it matter, but Tai still maintained that he had some pride in himself. Besides, it would be horrible to flunk his last couple classes just because he got lazy at the last minute. 

But Tai had been going for five hours straight and decided he needed a short break. He climbed into the desk chair and dialed Deirdre's number. He'd been wanted to check on her anyway. She'd gotten much better and her therapy was going reasonably well, but she was still far from well. And since she was going back to work in September, she really needed to recover a little faster. Zechs would flip if he found out.

It rang three times before one of the girls picked up and gave the phone to Deirdre. 

"Tai?"

"Hi! I was just calling to see how you were doing." The first time he'd made a call like this to her, it had been a little awkward, but now he was used to it and it was no big deal.

"I'm fine! How's the studying going?"

"I'll survive. Yachi sent Huy and I an anti-stress kit."

"Oh?" Deirdre laughed. "What's that include?"

"Um little bottles of anti-stress pills,' otherwise known as M&M's, and an anti-stress kid–it was a bull's eye with the words bang head here'. Then there were a couple comic books, a rolling-pin, and a small stuffed owl and elephant, the note said, because owls were wise and elephants knew a lot. Huy laughed a lot over it."

"Why a rolling pin?" 

"I have no idea. I'm going to ask Yachi that next time I talk to her."

"Your family sounds so funny! I wish I could meet them all."

"But you are going to meet them–you're coming to Huy and Kieko's wedding, aren't you?"

"Well, I didn't know I was invited!"

"What! They sent you an invitation–maybe it got lost in the mail." Tai was a little annoyed, but glad that he's mentioned that or else she never would have come.

"Well, if I get another one with an all-important picture included, I'll come. Are they nervous?"

"Huy's jumpy but Kieko seems fine. I personally thought it should be the other way around, seeing as Kieko's the one taking a risk in marrying Huy and not the other way around."

"That's not very nice!"

"I'm just kidding!"

The phone was silent for a minute. Then Deirdre said happily, "Of courseIt's just.I'm still getting accustomed to you having a sense of humor."

"Yah"

Several hours later, Tai got off the phone and pulled out his text books again. He kneaded his temples and intoned to himself "Just a few more weeks, just a few more weeks"

Someone knocked on his door and he threw his things up into the air in exasperation. As his pencil landed with a soft "clunk," he called out "come in!"

Duo waltzed into the room and planted himself down on the end of Tai's bed. "Hi!"

Tai sat Indian-style and rested an elbow on a knee and looked up at him in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, that's a sweet way to greet your best friend!" Duo was grinning at him. Tai continued to look quietly up at him. "I came to tell you that I will be at the wedding and that IT'S A BOY!!!"

Tai felt a grin spread over his face. "Why didn't you just call me!"

"Well, I had some business to take care of so I thought I'd sabotage your studying and tell you the news. So come on! Come get a drink with me!"

"Duoyou know I don't."

"Yah, yah, I know. Mr. Goody-two-shoes."

"NoMr. I-want-to-live-to-at-least-fifty-and-preferably-not-kill-anyone-as-a-result-of-erratic-behavior."

"That's a long mister.'"

"I'm a complicated fellow." 

Duo grinned again. "Okay, come on. Get up. My treat, and it won't be a bar."

The two walked down the street talking cheerfully. "I really should be studying. I have exams in a week!"

"Yah, well, what are friends for!"

Tai gave him a withering glance. "I got a call from Zechs the other day."

Duo cocked an eyebrow. "Oh? What'd he have to say?"

"Basically that he knows that Relena knows I'm alive. And that I'm not to worry her in any way about anything, mostly because she'll have much of the fate of the world back on her shoulders in a couple months."

"Wow..I can't believe it's almost time for her to come back. Time sure flies sometimes. Can you believe that only seven years ago we were innocent boys–well, as innocent as we ever were? I mean, since then, we've fought in a war, thus killed people, committed almost every atrocity known to man in that war, and in my case at least, gotten married and even had a child! How crazy is that? I'm hardly an adult myself, and I'm already having kids!"

"Look out world! The cursed Duo-spawn attacks"

Duo laughed and shook his head. "No! I'm serious! Just look at everything that's happened to you since then–you have a family and a future respectable career. Seven years ago, no one would have thought anything of you except street rat and future drug lord."

"I actually don't give it too much thought." Tai watched the street signs as they walked. It was a nice spring night–he wondered if it hurt Deirdre to walk still. She wasn't one to complain.

"I doI get pretty freaked whenever I do, though."

Tai looked over at him, a little surprised. "You don't seem to be one to say if only, if only' or what might've could've'."

"I'm not. It's the kid doing it to me. I want to make sure he has a good life, not what I had, or even Hilde. I mean, she had a decent childhood, but she lost it when she was a teenager–all her family just gone, at once! Some psychos just come and destroy her colony and she happened to be away from home–dumb luck, or dumb bad luck. I'm scared for the little tyke. I don't want to leave him alone in that big world out there."

Tai stepped over a large puddle as he thought. "There is going to be a war again, isn't there." It was more rhetorical than an actual question, but Duo nodded slightly. "Zechshe's worried, isn't he?" Again, Duo nodded. "Well, I'd say you've served your time."

They walked into a fast food joint and stopped talking till they got their food and sat down. Duo started playing with his wilted fries. "Why thank you Mr. Potato. This is a new hat!" he said as he dumped ketsup all over one fry. "But you know, Tai. If I don't fight, who will?"

"Lots of people. They have too."

"But if I'm not willing to take that responsibility, why should I expect anyone else to. I mean"

"You already have Duo!" Tai felt something in him lash out. It wouldn't be right, his heart thumped. It wouldn't be right. Duo had a wife and a kid, what if something happened to him! And he'd already fought once, didn't he deserve peace? He'd lived all his life in the streets, orphaned, then he helped determine the world's fate; didn't he deserve a break? Was Tai the only one who was so sick of all this that he honestly felt like he was going crazy from it all? Or was he just the weak one?

"Maybe, but now I'm experienced and I can do better this time. I can work harder and faster."

"You won't have your friend anymore." 

Duo caught on to what he meant–Deathscythe was gone. "Yah, he's gone, but I can still fight." Duo looked curiously at Tai. "Will you fight again?"

Tai shook his head. "I can't Duo. I just can't. I'll go crazy, orsomething," he finished lamely. "I just can't stand it anymore. The dreams, all the dreams. Every night I see their faces, Duo. I see all those I killed, over and over and over again. And every time I'm covered in blood that I can't wash off, and I hear a voice telling me that I had the choice and I chose to kill those people."

Duo rubbed his greasy fingers on a napkin. "You honestly think you're the only one to have those dreams? Do you think it doesn't bother all the rest of us too?"

Tai stopped for a second and looked curiously at his friend. "Then how do you all live with yourselves?" he asked incredulously.

"I don't know. A difference of opinion, different personalities. We all react to different things different ways. And some of us are more sensitive about certain things. It's just different people. Hey man, I'm not saying that you have no right to be so bothered by the past. I'm just saying that you aren't alone and we all have to choose what to do, we decided what we think is moral and good. I think it's immoral to have long wars that hurt people over time and never let them relax. I think it's immoral to let my child grow up in such a world. So I'm going to fight, and never give up until it's over. If I kill people, so be it–it would be more immoral to not kill them and let the war last forever. And right now, I'm not sure what you believe because you've changed so much. But you do what your conscience tells you to, and I'll do as mine instructs me. That's all we can do, and either way, it will be okay."

It was getting dark outside and Tai suddenly had a vision of his textbooks sprawled out on his floor. He knew his mind was trying to shut off, to avoid thinking about all of this again–self-defense mechanism kicking in. Logically, what Duo said made sense, and he agreed with the Machiavellian principles he talked about, but at the same time he didn't have the heart to do it. He was not cut out to be a leader. He had those dreams much less frequently, but he still had them. The little girl, he'd never forget that little girl.

"Hey, what're you thinkin' about?"

Tai looked over at his braided friend. One of the few people who knew most of his past sat before him, one who knew him better than most. If he didn't have Duo's respect, then none other mattered. "I was just thinking that this is all so stupid. And so funny–I just realized I'm living Relena's ideal and honestly believe in it, even though I told her to her face that she was a fool during the wars."

Duo chuckled. "Ironic, ain't it?"

"Yah"

"So what do you plan on doing?" Duo asked him, looking up, a straw held tight between his teeth.

"I don't know. I guess I'll just keep going to school. Maybe the war won't actually start for a couple more years. You know how rumors are, they go for years and years and by the time the war actually happens, nobody really can believe it." Duo nodded and waved his straw around. Tai tilted his head to see the Duo was writing words in the air with his straw. He tried to figure out what Duo was writing for a second, but then snapped back into his train of thought. "If I'm really needed, if Zechs gives me a call, I imagine I'll do whatever he asks."

"And if Relena is in trouble" Duo asked, the straw still in his mouth.

Tai sighed. "I'll probably come to save her of my own volition and be arrested for all the laws I've broken to do so."

"And Zechs will get you out and into the war. It looks to me buddy that you're going to end up in this thing whether you like it or not because one or both of those things are going to happen, you know they will."

"I know. But that doesn't mean I like it. I'm just so tired of fighting. And I can't–Duo, I'll never kill anyone ever again. I'll aim for knees, I'll fly a huge transporter, but I won't kill."

"Yah, but you'll be helping other people to kill others. What's the difference?"

Tai held his coarse napkin between his fingers and rolled it into a tight little tube and swatted Duo's straw with it. "I don't know. I thought I had everything figured out, Duo. I thought I was okay and understood something about life."

"She's wicked, ain't she? Just keeps on throwing those curves and you've got to rearrange your entire way of thinking. Try having a kid, then see how things change."

"I think I'll pass on that one"

"Unless she's a certain blond."

Tai rolled his eyes.

"You talked to her lately?"

"Today," Tai grudgingly admitted.

Duo raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And how is she doing? How's her physical therapy going? The last update I had on her was just after the accident."

"She's a tough girl. She's in pain and it's difficult to get around. She's got a wheelchair to cart her around campus. But she doesn't complain. I think she's getting better though. She told me she went to a park and swung on the swings for a while and that takes some leg power so she must be getting a little better. And she's not going back till September so she still has a while to build up her strength so no one will see her weakness."

"She can't afford to let anyone see how injured she is."

"Yah."

"Crazy that we all depend so much on one little girl, our age even!"

Tai looked down at his cup and swirled it to dislodge a couple ice cubes. "Crazy."

Deirdre pushed her arms down hard, making the wheels go. It wasn't so difficult on flat ground, but on the hills, it was near impossible. And she'd discovered that the floors in buildings are not as flat as one would think. She felt the muscles in her arms burning again. They were always on fire, but she just couldn't quite get around on her legs yet. She could crawl in her apartment, but she couldn't just crawl to campus.

Luckily most of her homework could be done at a computer, so she didn't have to move too much. Her therapist thought that was bad though, he thought she should push herself. But she was pushing herself as hard as she could go, and with school and her up-coming return, it was just too much to worry about right now.

"Deirdre!" Kiki called.

Deirdre struggled to turn and look at her roommate. "Hi!" she waved an arm, but regretted it as she started to roll down slightly. She caught herself and pushed her self up harder. 

"Hold this," Kiki said impatiently, and pushed her up the rest of the hill.

Deirdre looked down at the papers in her hands–"What is this, Kiki? The Army? Are you thinking of joining the colony's militia?"

They were up the hill and Kiki roughly took the papers from Deirdre's hands. "No."

Deirdre looked at her suspiciously. 

"But" she said slowly, looking sheepish, "I was thinking of becoming a Preventor."

Deirdre's mind screamed "NO! A war is on the way! You'll get killed! Besides, I thought you hated the army. You told me about your dad!" But she calmed herself and just asked, "Why?"

"Well, I still have a year or so of school left and I don't have much moneyand they pay for you to get through school and all"

"You're on scholarship. What do you need that for?"

"Iit just seemed like the smart thing to do. And I'll get paid in addition to getting through school."

"You only have a year left! Then you can go to graduate school and since you'll be doing research there for a professor they will be paying you then too! You don't need to"

"Don't you want me to protect the peace? I thought you were all for having them police the earth and colonies!" Kiki interrupted.

Deirdre changed tactics. "I thought you hated the army. I thought you hated your father and all that he was and what he did to your family."

Kiki flinched. "I do hate him, but I don't think it was the army that did it to him. I think he was just like that. And I won't ever become like him."

"What's this really about?" Deirdre asked.

"I told you"

"It's okay. You don't have to tell me. I just thought maybe you might want to talk about it. And I'm worried for youyou aren't a fighter, Kiki. Not really. And if there is a war, you'll have to fight. You'll have to kill people."

"And I can do that if I must. I realize that and I can do it."

Deirdre shook her head. "Okay, but make sure you keep tabs with me! Just because we won't be rooming together next year, I want to keep in touch. Okay?"

"Why?"

"Because you're my friend!" Deirdre looked up at Kiki in shock, a touch of hurt. "Why else?"

Kiki looked pained. "Oh" she forced out. "Why must you always look at me like that! It makes it impossible to be mean to you!"

"Do you want to be mean to me?" Deirdre asked, surprised.

"Not specifically to you, but to everyone."

"How can you live so alone?"

"I was pretty miserable," Kiki admitted.

"Was?" 

"I told you, you are impossible to be mean to!"

Deirdre grinned. "Where are you walking to?"

"Home. I'm fed up with this place. I've been on campus all day."

"Great! Then you can push me over the speed bumps in that parking lot we cross to get home!"

Kiki grinned at her. "Okay." Then she got a sly look in her eye. "Sayyou were on the phone an awful long time the other day? Wasn't that Tai you were talking to?"

Deirdre got a sheepish grin. "Yes."

"You guys have been talking lot lately, since the accident. You getting along any better?"

"Oh, we're great friends. I love talking to him."

"Uh-huh?"

"Don't say it like that! We're nothing more than friends!" Deirdre insisted.

"But you want to be," Kiki teased. The sidewalk widened so she could walk beside her friend. 

"But I'm willing to be just friends. I'm happy that way. Besides, things would be too complicated any other way."

"Long distance is always difficult." Kiki misunderstood what Deirdre was talking about, not that Deirdre expected her to know. She hadn't told her who she really was. "You know, I think it's so funny how everyone was so against Tai, but then they met him and everything changed. He's not at all what I pictured. I imagined this huge, almost ape-like guy with big arms and grunting and all. And he had this glazed, druggy look in his eyes and could barely talk right."

Deirdre was laughing out loud now. "Do you honestly think I'd like someone like that?"

"Well, no. But that's why I thought it was so strange when you talked about him."

"I can see why, if that's what you thought." They were quiet a moment as they passed the elementary school. Deirdre watched the kids kicking a ball around, some were on the playground. She had a sudden mental image of the sky darkening and something flaming falling from the sky and landing in the middle of the front lawn. Children screaming and clinging to the chain-linked fence trying to climb over. The a bird overhead chirped loudly and she jumped back to the present. Kiki was looking oddly at her, and she hoped her thoughts hadn't been readable–her greatest fear. She glanced once more at the children and brought the conversation to life again. 

"So then you approve of Tai?"

"Well," Kiki looked thoughtful. "He's dependable, and pretty good looking. It's kind of disconcerting how different he was from his brother, and I do think he's a little serious for you."

"He's not always that grave. He's been much more relaxed since then."

"Yah, I suppose he was pretty worried about you with the accident and all. But still, you'd never think they were related"

"Except they are identical twins."

Kiki grinned sheepishly. "Well, yah. There is that.I don't know. I guess I liked him. He seemed to really care about you and he didn't try to take advantage of you. He was dependable. Those are my biggest worries with people and he fit all that. What kind of doctor does he want to be?"

"He hasn't decided."

"He was a soldier, wasn't he?"

Deirdre jumped a little. "What makes you say that?"

Kiki looked at Deirdre suspiciously. "He told us. Marcus asked him if he had and he said yes. Why didn't you tell me? It's not like it's something to be ashamed of." She grabbed Deirdre's wheelchair and carefully pushed it over the bumps.

"Nobut, I just didn't know if he'd want people to know."

Kiki nodded. "I get it. Does heever talk about it?"

"Sometimes. But he doesn't have to talk to me about it too much because I was with him some of the time during the war."

"Oh. Do you think he knows anything about the Preventors?"

"Tai was never actually a Preventor, but I've got some friends who are. I'm sure I could arrange for you to talk to them if you want to!" Deirdre was a little concerned about this though. It would be odd just calling up Wufei. Maybe Sally would be better.

"Do you know if there are a lot of women in the Preventors?"

"There are some, I know. Not a lot though. I have a woman friend who's a Preventor. I could ask her some questions for you, if you'd like."

"Nahthat's not necessary"

Kiki and Deirdre stopped at the bottom of the stairs. "Why must we live on the third floor?" Kiki said in a false crying voice.

"You aren't the one in the chair!" But Deirdre wheeled over to the office and deposited her chair in the main room. They had agreed to let her keep it there. Kiki too her bags and Deirdre got her cruches and they limped up to their apartment.

Kiki opened the door and Deirdre swung herself into the room. "You must be getting some dang buff arms!"

"I don't know about that."

"Deirdre!" Ianthe yelled at her. 

"Uh-huh!" Deirdre answered.

"A girl called Kieko called."

"Oh! That's Huy's fiancee! I wander what she wanted." Deirdre put down her crutches and limped over to the phone and dialed. "How long ago did she call?" she called to Ianthe, who was in the other room.

"I don't know. Maybe an hour or so."

Deirdre quit talking when she heard someone pick up on the line. "Hello?"

"Is Kieko there?"

"This is she."

"It's Deirdre. I heard you called."

"Yes! Thanks for calling me back. I need your help desperately!"

Deirdre was a little worried. "What's wrong?"

"I need another bridesmaid."

Deirdre sat stunned. She had just met her a few months ago. "You want me?" 

"Yup."

"But don't you have family or someone."

"If you don't want to, it's okay. I'll figure something out. But you're almost family and I just thought."

"No, no! I would love to. I'm flattered. Just surprised. That's all." And she was. 

"Great! I just need your measurements so that I can get your dress for you!"

"Do I need to be there for rehearsal or anything?"

"Well, the wedding's in about a month or so. If you could, come about a week before the wedding. You could stay with me and we could goof off! It'll be fun. And Huy and Tai will be there too. Actually their whole family will be there. We're having the wedding at their house. It's such a beautiful colony that they live on. And it's not too bad flying there."

"Aren't you staying with them at their house?"

"Well, they have a large family and all the siblings will be home. The oldest two are married with kids so it will be crowded. So I was going to stay in a hotel, despite Huy's arguments. But I think it's best that way. But this way I could have a fun roommate!"

"What about your family?"

"Oh, they'll be there the day of the wedding, but that's about it. They have to work and all."

"Okay. That sounds fun. I'll be there!"

"Great! Okay, I'm sorry but I've got to run. But I'll call you later and we can talk all about this. Bye!"

"Bye"

Deirdre sat down, stunned. She would be meeting Tai's entire family. And what did Kieko mean by, "But you're almost family" 

She got up and crawled over to her crutches but her backpack was gone. Kiki must have been feeling nice and taken it to her room for her. She crawled to her bedroom and had to reach up fairly far to reach her doorknob. A girl giggling in the next room caught her attention. And a boy's voice. Deirdre recognized the boy's voice too. Marcus. She felt herself grinning a little. Marcus must have been with Celes again. They had been spending a lot of time together since the accident; he'd been such a help with her.

In her room, Deirdre pulled herself into her desk and booted up her laptop. She still had several papers to finish. Kiki was changing her clothes.

"Where are you off to?"

"I'm going to practice for my martial arts exam. It's coming up soon. I forgot that I needed to or else I would have stayed on campus."

"Okay, have fun!" Deirdre called to the closing door. Then she turned to her computer. She pulled out her notes and laid them all over the desk and stared at them as she typed away, her brain synthesizing all the information at once and letting the words flow to her fingers. She was fairly confident in her writing abilities. After two hours of typing she leaned back and cracked her back. She glanced at the clock. At four she had therapy. It was in fourty-five minutes. 

Grudgingly she pulled herself up and put on her pack–sometimes she had to wait a while before the therapist could see her, so she always brought her homework. The apartment was quiet as she picked up her crutches. One dropped down on her foot. She grimaced but pulled it back up, clumsily, and limped out the door. The stairs were even more difficult to navigate going down than going up, but she managed, and only dropped her crutches twice. They clattered down one flight of stairs and that was difficult, but other than that, it was okay. The bus stop was down the street a little ways, but not too bad.

Just as she dragged herself up to the stop, a car pulled up beside her and honked. She looked over and Marcus was waving at her. He rolled down the window.

"Going my way?" he asked her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N I'm finally getting this thing moving! I decided that as much as I love all my characters, I just can't spend all this time writing about every one of them. I have to pick a few of them and stick to that. It's painful, so I'll probably write some off-shoots eventually, especially one for Kiki–I've got a massive story for her, but right now this is a Relena x Heero story so I shouldn't spend so much time on Kiki and her future counterpart (I'll tell who he is in this story, just not a lot about how they got together). Anyway, I am getting there. Thanks for the reviews! I love them!!!! Toodles for now, Tygerlilee


	16. Avalanche

Chapter Sixteen

Avalanche

"Going my way?" he asked her.

"Maybe. I'm going to Physical therapy," she pointed at the bus stop.

"Can I give you a ride?"

"Oh no! I couldn't ask you to do that!"

"Don't be silly!" Marcus opened the door and pushed it wide so that she could climb in. "I don't have anything to do. I can even drive you home! I've got a book to read and my laptop to do work on."

Deirdre sighed and climbed in. She was grateful, but she also felt a little like she was taking advantage of him. "You really don't have to.."

But he cut her off with a lift of his hand. "Where is this therapist?"

"By the hospital."

"That little doctor's office beside it?" Deirdre nodded. Marcus turned on the radio, but kept it low. "How're you feeling?"

"Pretty good. I can get around a lot better now. And the therapist says I'm healing fast."

"That's good." There was silence and then Marcus spoke again. "You talk to Tai very often?"

Deirdre felt little sirens going off in her head. "Fairly often," she told him, cautiously.

"He knows who you really are, doesn't he."

"Yes," she said slowly.

"But his brother doesn't, right?"

"As far as I know, Huy has no idea who I am." Marcus began "hmming" to himself. "Why do you ask?" she prompted.

"Tai spoke to me a little while he was here, and that was the impression I got from him. I just wanted to confirm it. Is Tai always like that?"

"You mean how he was when he visited?" Marcus nodded. "I'm not sure what you mean, but my impression of him when he visited was very helpful, considerate, and kind. If that's what you mean, then yes. Maybe not so openly kind, but he really is, even if he hides it under a gruff exterior."

"I was thinking more along the lines of solemn and showy-off and a flatterer."

Derirdre felt her temper rise. "That's not fair, nor is it true!"

"Calm down, princess. Nothing to get all riled up about!"

"PRINCESS!" Marcus chuckled. "I don't see anything funny about this. First you insult my friend then you start coddling me. I am an adult and fully capable of caring for myself, and I am not princess'!"

"Then why are you so upset?"

Deirdre was tempted to "hmph" him and turn away, but he was doing her a favor and she was stuck in the car with him. She would love to just jump out the door, but her legs were already broken enough without her added stupidity to hinder their healing. Luckily they were just pulling into the parking lot. She pulled out her own crutches and limped to the office. Marcus tried to get in front of her to open the door for her, but she beat him to it and blocked him with her crutches. He sat down in the waiting room and, luckily, they admitted her immediately.

Her session was rigorous as usual and she was exhausted when she left. But it felt good and let her calm down. She was very defensive about Tai and Marcus had no right to accuse him of such things. Maybe Marcus was just a little jealous. 

He stood up and tried to help her to the car again, but she was doing a very good job of discouraging him. She also ached like mad; her legs throbbed.

After they got into the car and Marcus started it up, he turned and glared at her. "Relena, this is ridiculous! You are acting like a child!"

"I'm acting like a child! You are the one jealous of Tai and lashing out at him for it!"

"I am not!" Marcus said forcefully, but he snapped his mouth shut quickly and glared at the stoplight they were stuck at. "Okay, so maybe I am. A little."

"A lot. Why else would you hate him so much? He was only here to help, and what's more, he was hardly ever around the girls, so who was he kissing up to? Tell me that! If you are jealous, that can be a natural normal feeling, but for heaven's sake, keep it to yourself and get over yourself! You are not the only man in my life or my roommates' lives!"

Marcus swallowed hard and the car lurched forward as the light turned green. "Man in your life, huh?"

Deirdre stifled her urge to gag. "Don't start this again."

"Don't you get so cocky yourself princess. I don't want you anymore anyway!" But Deirdre could hear the lie in his voice.

"Okay, fine. But just remember, if you hurt Celes I will come after you personally."

"Is that a threat? Coming from Miss-do-gooder-pacifist?"

"Marcus, what is _with_ you? Why are you being such a toad?"

Marcus humphed again and slammed down on the gas.

Deirdre didn't mean to, but it came out anyway. She screamed bloody murder and pulled herself into a tight ball. Her mind brought her back to the accident–the screeching of tires and breaks–the broken glass–Celes screaming. And she couldn't stop screaming.

Marcus pulled over and shook her to stop the screaming. She sat up with a start and blinked, looking around her. They were still in one piece and safe. "What is with you?" Marcus asked her. "What's wrong?" he shook her again, gently.

"I don't knowI just, I just freaked for a moment and I saw the accident again and" Deirdre panted a little. "I just got scared. That's all. I'm not normally a screamer. I don't know what's the matter with me!"

Marcus looked a little worried but he pulled back onto the road. "I'm sorry. I've just been really frustrated, that's all. I forgot about the accident for a moment." And he didn't say another word to her. He dropped her off in front of her building and she limped up to her door. She was sure he was still in the parking lot and she burned red with each stumble on the steps.

She sighed a great sigh of relief as she went into her empty bedroom–Kiki was still gone. It was nearly six and she pulled herself back into her desk chair and picked up on her papers once more. She'd take a break in a couple hours for dinner, she decided.

Then her computer beeped with an incoming message. She plunked her head down hard on her desk. "No" But she sat up and clicked several buttons to open the message. And Milliardo looked at her.

She gasped. "What are doing?" she whispered. Then she dived for a drawer and pulled out her headphones, plugging them in. At least this way no one would hear him speaking. "What in heaven's name possessed you to call my like this!" she whispered into the microphone.

"An emergency. Nothing less could have made me call you. I know just as well as you the risk in this."

"What's happened?"

"I need you to come back as soon as possible, preferably right after you are done with graduation."

Deirdre gasped. She'd still be exhausted from school, plus she couldn't even walk yet AND she needed time to prepare to come back, do all the reading she didn't have time to during school. "Why? What's going on?" Someone dropped something in the kitchen and she jumped ten feet in the air, or at least it felt like ten feet. She was terrified Kiki would walk in.

"Things are getting sticky in the colonies. Fishy gatherings, small skirmishes--things like that. Only small things thus far, but we think a few of the groups are starting to grow in strength, and with that, they are starting to buy off politicians. We need you before things get out of hand. Nothing has really happened yet, but the sooner you get here, the better."

Deirdre thought a minute. Not four hours ago she had promised to be Kieko's bridesmaid and have a fun girly week with her. And Taishe couldn't bear the thought of him having to fight again, especially to protect her. That would be so like him. No, she would go back as soon as humanly possible. She just hoped her body would be ready for it, because she'd just go anyway.

"The soonest I can be there is late May."

"That late? I thought school was over in a couple weeks."

"It's not finalsI'm going to be in a friend's wedding and I told her I'd be there for that."

"Relena, we are talking about the colonies and the earth at stake here!"

"And this is my friend!" She was getting angry–probably leftovers from yelling at Marcus. "A promise is a promise. Besides, that's only a month. If nothing serious is happening at the moment, then surely you can hold everything off for one more month. That's three months sooner than I planned on. This way you can send me reports and various information that you think I need to know so that I will be fully prepared to come back. I had planned on having four months to prepare once I was out of school, but you've cut it down to less than one." And maybe I'll be able to retire my wheel chair and crutches by then, she thought.

Milliardo sighed. "Okay. I trust your judgement, little sister." He smiled at her that same, annoying, all knowing smile. She had learned to read him a bit more, and realized that she must trust his ultimate goal was peace, but he would use himself to get peace by whatever means possible, even if it was fighting to show how horrible fighting was. She was to be kept pure and innocent and predictable. By keeping her that way, he had something to count on and could plan accordingly. She felt a little used and manipulated, but at the same time, it had worked. So she trusted him too. "By the way, nice hair and eyes. Take care. And do well on your tests."

"Thank you. Goodbye."

Milliardo nodded and blipped out of sight. Deirdre sighed and leaned back in her chair. _Good grief! First Kieko, then Marcus, now Milliardo! All I need is Pablo to give me a call!_ Deirdre muttered to herself.

The phone rang in the other room and Celes called for her. "Deirdre, phone!"

"ARRRRRRRGGGGG!!!"

Kieko felt like the only thing she was ever doing was picking people up from the shuttleport. But that was fun because you were always excited for them to come. Actually, she probably could have gotten Tai or someone in his family to pick Deirdre up, but she decided it would be better if she picked her up, and kept it a secret who the last bridesmaid was. It would be so fun this way.

She saw Deirdre coming towards her. The little red-head looked even smaller than usual, as if she would just slip away. She limped a little as she walked. "Hi! Do you have any checked luggage?"

Deirdre nodded. "Some. I just can't handle dragging too much around with me."

"How are your legs?"

"I'm a little tired, but I'll be okay. I've been able to move on my own for a week now and I'm getting much better."

"That's nice." But Kieko decided she'd better watch Deirdre carefully. "Hey, why don't you just sit here for a moment and I'll get your luggage. What is it in?"

Deidre smiled gratefully. "It's in a green duffle bag."

"Okay, I'll be back in a jiffy!"

Deirdre sighed as Kieko walked away. She gently massaged her ankle. It was killing her. But she was doing much, much better than before. If she exercised a little every day, in a little while, she'd be just fine. She had to be. No one could see her weakness, not once she was before public eyes.

It took about ten minutes for Kieko to come back, but in the meantime, Deirdre looked curiously around. It was the smallest shuttleport she'd ever seen. It was very simply decorated and no one seemed to be in a hurry. Then Kieko was back.

"Come on!" and they headed out for the car. The parking lot was tiny and the car was very easy to find, being in the first row. "I ought to get a handicapped sticker for you! Then I could park anywhere I wanted!"

Deirdre smiled, and they headed off. "So how far out from town is the shuttleport?" she asked as they passed a Walmart and Food-4-less.

"This is town," Kieko laughed at Deirdre's shocked expression. "Yes, Huy and Tai grew up here. Or ratherHuy grew up here. I guess I don't even know where Tai grew up. But it's tiny. Mostly because it's just a research colony, and only the scientists and their families and school teachers for the kids live here. There are still quite a few people living here, considering. But it's so nice."

"I bet." Deirdre couldn't help but gape at the large fields and many flowers and trees. "It looks like earth here, like the countryside."

"Have you ever been to earth?"

"I grew up there"

"Oh. I bet you miss it." Deirdre could detect the curiosity in Kieko's voice. She knew that Tai still hadn't told them much about her.

"I do."

"So did Tai live on earth?"

Deirdre shook her head. "No. He lived there for a little while, but that was only when he was a teenager, during the war. He lived on the colonies all before that, at least that's what I always assumed. He's never actually told me much about his childhood."

"Not even you?" Kieko asked, shocked. "I mean, I would have thought he'd at least tell youbut I guess I was wrong."

Deirdre smiled at her. "So we're going to do girly stuff here, huh? Not exactly a booming town to do a lot in although."

Kieko laughed. "No. But we can goof off at night, rent chick-flicks. We'll be spending most of our time at the Iwasato home. Huy's mother has been wonderful helping me with the wedding, getting dresses to fit and so on."

"Didn't your mother help you at all before you left?"

"Nah. We don't really get along with each other. And our tastes are totally different. We'd just fight the entire time. I prefer to do things by myself than ask Mom for help." Deirdre felt a thump of pity rise and Kieko must have seen it because she continued with, "Don't worry about it! It doesn't bother me, at least not anymore. I grew up really quickly and I've been taking care of myself ever since. Everything's fine. Now let's deposit your bag and rest a bit. Ai, that's Huy's mom, invited us to dinner. I told her I'd be with a friend and she said that was fine, to bring my friend along. So we'll give the boys a little surprise." Kieko winked as they climbed out.

It was an average sized hotel with the typical square building with beige curtains, and probably the only one in town. But inside was beautiful with rich carpets and live plants and flowers everywhere. "Wow"

"Yah, I asked Huy why the hotels were so nice herethere are only about three, but they are all beautiful. He said it was because sometimes they have conferences and such here. And lots of people like to have their weddings here, since it is so beautiful and cheap." Kieko kept up a running commentary as they got into the elevator. "Huy's dad was even able to get us this room free! Isn't that nice?"

"Yah. That's great!"

They finally got into their room and Deirdre felt like her feet were on fire.

"You get that bed," Kieko told her unnecessarily, pointing to the made, neat bed. The other was covered in clothes and random papers. Deirdre sat down and let her legs throb and she watched Kieko running around the room. She'd always pictured Kieko as sensible, calm, and organized, but Deirdre supposed one couldn't expect someone who was getting married in a week to be calm.

"I just can't believe how much is involved in a wedding! The food, the flowers, the pictures.trying to stay the same size as when you were measured for your dress!"

"But you still want to do it right? You aren't scared about marrying Huy, are you?"

Kieko sat down for a second and dusted her hands off on her pants, apparently out of habit because she had been folding clothes. "I don't know." She pushed some hair out of her eyes; it had come out of it's loose ponytail, and her hair was pretty short to start with so it didn't stay very well. "I was really scared at Christmas, and fully prepared to call everything off. Take my advice, long engagements are horrible! Do you realize Huy and I have been engaged about eight months! That's a horrendously long time! If you say yes to a proposal that means you are ready to marry them right then and could just pick up and go do it the next day, not two-thirds of a year later!"

"But that would have just made things even worse at Christmas if you were married at that time."

Kieko nodded. "I know. I just don't understand what got into him! He'd never come close to acting like that before and he hasn't since! Maybe it has something to do with Tai beating the crap out of him."

"Tai hit him?"

"Yah, just a little," Kieko said sarcastically. "When I went to pick them up after Christmas break, Huy was still yellow and green all over. And I mean ALL over. Tai did a real number on him. He told me he was planning to knock some sense into Huy, but I didn't realize he meant literally!"

"Well, that sounds like Tai. He has unusual methods sometimes, but it works. He's not very subtle either. He's horrible at subterfuge."

"I've noticed. He doesn't have a violent temper or anything does he? It's just so weird, and kind of scary. Is it because of the war? I mean I thought I understood him fairly well, but since he told me he was a Gundam pilot, I just have been wrong on every assumption I've made about him."

Deirdre thought for a moment–how to explain Tai so Kieko could understand. "Taiis very kind and protective. On earth during the war, I don't know if you read about this or anything like that, but the Gundam pilots, specifically Tai, accidentally killed a shuttle full of pacifist leaders. After, Tai went to every single person who was intimately related to those leaders he killed, and spoke to them. I'm not sure what he told them, but I'm sure he was apologizing."

"That's a lot of people to apologize to," Kieko said quietly.

"Yes, it was. But I guess my point is, Tai killed and fought hard. But it's not him. He's so kind–I've seen it in his eyes, I saw it even then. But that's taken a toll on him. He's broken and hurt because he had to hurt people he didn't want to. I think that's the key to his personality, somehow. You can't totally understand anyone, but I think that's very valuable to his if you have any hope of understanding."

"I guess I just don't see how that applies to him beating up his brother."

Deirdre leaned back onto the bed. It felt wonderful on her back. "Tai saw an injustice. He saw his brother about to make what he felt was a huge mistake, losing you. He saw that his brother had been a jerk and childish. So he felt, as his brother, that he should protect his brother and make him realize what he had done. But Huy didn't want to talk, I'm assuming because I wasn't there. Tai hasn't told me about any of this so I'm just hypothesizing. But I would guess that because Huy wouldn't talk and Tai wanted to make sure Huy understood what an idiot he was, he went ahead and hit him until Huy couldn't fight anymore and just laid there and was forced to confront what he had done to you and your relationship."

"That's so weird"

"It's Tai. That's not the strangest thing he's done." Suddenly the last moment she saw him before he fought with Milliardo in the wars hit her. She thought about it often, how he asked her to believe in him and shoved her away. But it hit her with peculiar clarity now. She could see his eyes, that kind, sad look in them. And how he almost whispered those words to her; the strange part to her was how much trust he put in her ability to bring peace. For someone who trusted no one, that was highly unusual. 

"How long have you liked Tai?" Kieko asked, snapping Deirdre out of her reverie.

She blinked at the ceiling. It was smooth and creamy white. The lamps Kieko had turned on were shading them gold. "Ever since I first saw him."

"He likes you to, you know. He must. I mean, why else would he run to help you in the middle of mid-terms and why else would he spend all the time he does on the phone?"

"Maybe." Deirdre sat up. "When are we supposed to be at the Iwasato's?"

Kieko mock-glared at her. "I have an entire week to pump you for information, you know. And we have dinner there at six thirty. I thought we could get there a little early and help out a bit."

Deirdre looked down at her watch. "How long does it take to get there?"

Kieko shrugged. "Maybe fifteen, twenty minutes at most. It's kind of out and away from town."

"That gives us about an hour and a half."

"Might I suggest you take a nap."

"Why?"

"Because they have a large, loud family. I love them to death, but they tire you out!"

They pulled into the long driveway of an average sized house. It was white paneled with a red-brick chimney and base with a large wrap around porch. There was a swing with two little kids sitting in it, laughing at some personal joke. There was a basketball goal in the driveway and several cars, including minivans, parked in front. Daffodils and petunias lined a walkway that led to the front door, which was reduced to a screen. It looked like a normal home, normal as in, Mom, Dad, siblings and everyone is mentally stable and loves each other. That was getting more and more rare with each passing year.

"Come on. Let's introduce you to the hoard."

Deirdre was getting nervous. 

The two little kids on the porch looked up at Kieko and grinned. "Hi, aunty!" the little girl answered. The other was drooling all over himself.

"Hi! I want you to meet my friend Deirdre."

"Hi, Deir-deir" she stuttered a little, but then grinned and said "Deir-deir!"

"Those were Toshi's kids. Toshi is the oldest sibling," Kieko explained as they walked in without knocking. 

They entered a small foyer and kicked off their shoes. Kieko called out "Anyone home!"

A man's voice Deirdre didn't recognize called from somewhere to the left, "In here!"

They walked into a living room with two men seemingly attached to a video game. "You look busy." Kieko said sarcastically, coming up behind Huy to give him a nuggy. 

He paused the game and turned around, pulled Kieko down onto his lap. "Just waitin' for the life of the party to come!" 

"Where is everyone?"

"The usual. Hanako is looking for her kids, Toshi's right here with me not really caring, Mom is running around the kitchen, Gina is sitting in the kitchen pretending to help while her husband actually does help. Dad is on the computer looking up stocks, Yachi is chasing Tai around the house, and Tai is probably hiding in his usual spot with a good book."

"Sounds excititing."

"Always iDeirdre!" Huy had finally notice Deirdre, who had quietly settled herself down on the couch. "I didn't know you'd be here this soon! How are you feeling?"

"Fine, thank you. Kieko asked me to be a bridesmaid and wondered if I'd come a little early, so that's why I'm here."

Huy grinned. "Now we get to introduce you to the crowd. But be warned–as soon as Mom hears you're a friend of Tai's from before, you know, we found him, she'll probably start bawling all over you."

"Oookay" Deirdre said nervously. Huy laughed.

"I'm Toshi!" the man next to Huy told her. He looked a little bigger than Tai and Huy, but he had Huy's mischievous grin. His hair was shorter and not nearly so unruly as the twins'.

"Nice to meet you."

"Toshi, have you seen the kids? I can't find them anywhere" a girl walked in and asked. 

Toshi shrugged and the girl looked disgusted for a moment. "They were sitting in the porch swing a couple minutes ago when I walked in, Hanako."

"Oh, Kieko! I didn't know you were here. Did you get the flowers figured out?"

"Yes–it was such a headache. Oh! Hanako, this is Deirdre, Deirdre, Toshi's wife Hanako."

Hanako smiled at her and nodded but didn't seem to really see her. She just dashed off again.

"I don't know why she's always so worried about the kids. They are always together and usually safe," Toshi said, turning back to the TV. He and Huy were sitting directly in front of it. Deirdre was sure they must be giving themselves headaches. 

"Toshi! They're only babies still!"

"Umiko is not a baby, she gets very offended if you call her that," Toshi informed her, pointing a finger in a very teacher-ish fashion.

Kieko rolled her eyes and patted Huy's head. "I'm going to take Deirdre to meet everyone and see if we can help your mother."

Huy's eyes stayed on Kieko until they left the room and Deirdre smother a giggle. But as she turned away, she found herself almost buried into someone. 

"Oh! Sorry!" But when she stepped away she almost gasped visibly and audibly. It was Tai.

"Ryuzou, this is Deirdre. She's the last bridesmaid. Deirdre, this is Huy's dad." Kieko said, having seen what happened.

"Hi," Deirdre greeted meekly. Ryuzuo nodded gruffly, and walked on. "I think I just decided that Tai's personality is not entirely due to his war experience," Deirdre told Kieko, who giggled. 

"Ryuzou just seems scary, but he's a pussy cat. It's pretty funny. All the kids know that. The cutest part is when you catch Ryuzou and Ai kissing. It's pretty funny. They've been married about thirty years and still flirt with each other, but only when they think no one is looking." Kieko's eyes were sparkling and dancing. Then they walked into the kitchen. Kieko quickly pointed to each person, telling Deirdre who was who, then announced very loudly to the crowded room that she was there and who her friend was. 

Ai smiled and nodded and said she was glad to meet her. Kieko quickly decided the kitchen was way to crowded and turned to leave with Deirdre. But she was stopped by Tai sprinting though and calling, "Coming though!" Deirdre started to walk though but Kieko pushed her back and Deirdre was glad because a middle school aged girl came flying through.

Everyone in the kitchen seemed to be used to this too because no one had moved back to their original positions.

The girl was giggling madly and waving a curling iron in the air.

"That was Yachi. Huy told me ever since he first brought Tai here for Christmas, even before they knew who he was, she's been very taken with him and never gives him any peace. But actually Tai's very nice about it and they do a lot together. I think it's adorable."

Deirdre tried to picture Tai sitting down with his little sister to a friendly tickle fight–she could partly picture it. But it was a stretch. Then they walked in on one.

They walked down the hall and found Tai pinning Yachi to the ground. She was shrieking with laughter and attempting to no avail to tickle back. Then he saw Deirdre. 

He dropped his sister who flew at him yelling like a banshee but he didn't notice and stood up. "Hey! That's not fair! You're taller than me!" she scolded. But then she noticed to two girls in the hallway. "Hello."

"Deirdre? I didn't think you would be here until the day of the wedding."

"I asked her to come early so she could help me out. She's going to be a bridesmaid." Kieko looked entirely too pleased with herself.

Tai mock glared. "And you didn't tell me? Either of you?" Kieko smirked and Deirdre looked uncomfortably at her shoes. "How are you feeling Deirdre? You're walking without your crutches now."

"It hurts a lot but I'm managing."

"DINNER!" Toshi bellowed.

Yachi grabbed Tai's hand and they went flying down the hall. "COOMIIIIIING!" Yachi yelled.

Deirdre had never seen such a dinner. And it wasn't about the food, which was very good–Ai was a wonderful cook and Deirdre liked Japanese food, but it was the company. Toshi and Gina's kids were uncommonly quiet and polite, which actually wasn't too hard for Gina's baby as the baby was only two months old, but for a two year old and four year old. But Gina, Toshi, Yachi, and Huy were horrendous, flinging food and napkins at each other. The in-laws sat quietly eating–they looked like they were used to it. Ai kept reminding everyone how old they were. Tai and Ryuzou just ate and ignored everyone. Kieko was laughing and Deirdre felt like a shell-shocked cat.

Everyone pitched in after dinner for the dishes and it was mass chaos. Deirdre was surprised nothing was broken. Shortly thereafter she and Kieko heard yelling outside and ran to the door, panicked. But Kieko laughed when they saw it was just the boys all playing basketball. Kieko settled down on the porch next to the little kids who were cheering their Dad on. Deirdre sat down on the swing and watched. 

She wanted to cry, but she held it back. This was what she'd been hoping for–Tai had a family and he was loved and belonged. She watched him on the court with his brothers, father, and brother-in-law and they all looked so happy, yelling at each other like that. That's when she realized she was the only non-Japanese person here. It was a startling realization, especially in such a multi-cultural world.

Ai sat down beside her and sighed, rubbing her face. "I bet you must be exhausted, having so many people here," Deirdre said, politely.

"Yes. But I love it. I just can't believe three out of five of my children will be married soon. And grandkids are great." She smiled genially at Deirdre. "So how do you know Kieko?"

"Actually I knew Tai first. We've been friends since we were teenagers. But we lost contact and happened to find each other again a while ago. I came and visited him and stayed with Kieko then. And at Christmas Kieko stayed with me, so we've gotten to be pretty good friends."

"You knew Taibefore?"

Deirdre was starting to get the feeling that this was a forbidden topic, only to be spoken of indirectly. "Yes."

"Was hewas he happy then?"

"I don't really know, but he's happy now and that's what matters right?" she said nervously.

Ai burst into tears and threw her arms around a very startled Deirdre. "MY POOR BABY!!! HE WAS SO ALONE AND SAD BEFORE! I'M A HORRIBLE MOTHER! HOW COULD I HAVE LOST HIM!"

Kieko had run over to them and was patting Ai on the back. "It's okay, Ai," she was murmuring over and over.

"Yo Mom!" Huy yelled from the court. "It's okay!" That was when Deirdre noticed the game had stopped and everyone was looking at her and Ai and Kieko. But they didn't look disturbed–it must be a common occurrence. Ryuzou was looking skeptical and yelled, "Ai, nothing's wrong with Tai. You can stop the floodworks–it's okay."

Ai nodded between sobs and then Tai was by his mother. "Mom, what's matter?"

"I'm just so ha-ha-happy that you had friends then!" And then she flung herself at him. He caught her and patted her head, then mouthed, "Sorry" to Deirdre. After a few more minutes she calmed down and they started the game again.

Several hours later the entire family, except the babies, who had been put to bed, sat in front of the TV with popcorn and a movie. But it was a very loud watching of a movie because Toshi and Ryuzou kept making snide remarks about how unrealistic it was.

Deirdre felt a little overwhelmed by it all and quietly got up and slid outside to the porch. It was a clear night and the "stars" were easy to see. She'd picked out three constellations when she heard the door open and close again, very quietly. Then Tai sat down beside her.

"You okay?"

"HmI'm fine. Just a little tired."

"My family is a bitmuch, I know. I'm always exhausted whenever I come home."

"But they are nice, and they love each other so much."

Tai nodded and looked up at the sky too. "And they readily accept new members." Then he looked over at her. "How are your feet, really?"

"They kill me," she admitted. "but if I can sit most of the time I'm okay."

"Do you think you'll be well enough to return to work in the fall?"

Deirdre avoided his eyes carefully. "I don't know. But if I'm not, I don't have much choice, do I?"

He looked back up at the sky. "No, I guess not." They sat there quietly for a bit, but then he asked the one question she wished he wouldn't. "Do you think there's a war coming?"

"War's always a danger." There, that was sufficiently vague and evaded the question, Deirdre thought.

"Duo said that Zechs is worried. I was wondering what you thought."

"Well, I haven't been very involved for a while so I expect Milliardo knows much better than me. If he says one is coming, he's probably right."

He was quiet again so Deirdre kept talking. "But we can stop it. You won't ever have to fight again, Tai. I promise. You swore that you'll never kill again and I'll make sure you don't have to, okay?" But he didn't look at her so she tried to give him more comfort. She leaned on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around one of his. It was comfortable, but she didn't know what she thought she was doing–Tai never needed comfort from anyone. Maybe this was more for herself, to remind herself that he was real.

But he slid his arm out of her grasp and put it around her shoulders, pulling her in closer. Her heart jumped. _What was he doing? _ But he made no other move. It was strictly platonic, she kept telling herself. He didn't like her, not like that.

"Relena," his voice was barely above a whisper. It was dangerous to use her real name. "I promised that I'd protect you. And I'll say it again, that still stands. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

Deirdre felt something inside her snap and scream _"NOOOOOOOOOO!!! YOU CAN'T!!! YOU'LL HAVE TO KILL SOMEONE THEN!!"_ But she didn't move, in fact, she froze. His hand was on her head, stroking her hair. It felt wonderful but she couldn't feel that now, she was too scared. She'd force him to kill someone. He couldn't keep that promise, he have to break it, or else wind up killing again. 

She could barely see the flowers that lined the walkway to the door in the moonlight, but she remembered that they were yellow and purple. And she knew that there was the basketball court to her left that the family had played on before. If he killed again, he could never come back to this. It would be spoiled and he would be lost again, without a family and a home. After going to war and killing, you were changed. And after swearing that he'd never kill again and breaking that, he'd be broken. 

There was no way she would ever let him do that–she wasn't worth it. And there was only one way to make sure if it.

After all these years, after all her work, she had finally found him and become friends with him so that they could talk and be happy in each other's company. They cared about each other openly but not romantically. She had what she'd always desired most, his friendship. But this had to end. And it burned inside of her.

Clenching her eyes shut, she turned slightly to bury herself deeper in his one-armed hug. For now she would enjoy this last hug from him, but after this, it could never happen again. And she wasn't sure how she'd face such a world alone, but she had to, for his sake. She loved him too much.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N 


	17. Wedding, Work, and School

Chapter Seventeen

Wedding, Work, and School

Deirdre heard Kieko roll over in the next bedagain. She looked over at her alarm clock–it was one in the morning.

"Kieko?"

She rolled over. "Did I wake you?"

"No" And it was true. She hadn't slept much at all during their visit. Tomorrow was the day. Tomorrow as Kieko and Huy's wedding and the day she'd leave to return to her office. She had it all planned out. She'd take a shuttle back to Earth. And rent a hotel room. There, she'd pop out the contacts and dye her hair blond again, it's natural color, and then she'd meet Milliardo at a store about three blocks away, and he'd take her home, and back to work. But how she was going to tell Tai.

"You haven't been sleeping either?"

"No"

Kieko sat up in bed. "This is silly. Neither of us can sleep so we've been laying here for hours trying to get to sleep. Let's just get up and do something."

"Okay. What do you want to do?"

Kieko hunched back against the backboard. "I don't knownothing's open this time of night."

"There's that all night diner," Deirdre suggested.

"Okay." They climbed out of bed and threw their clothes on. Neither worried about hair or make up. The diner was only two blocks away so they decided to walk. "I never understood why they have an all night diner in a small town like this."

"Me neither, but that doesn't mean I'm not grateful for it!" Deirdre said as they walked in and were seated. They ordered a sundae and sat, slowly munching on it. "So I guess you are pretty nervous."

Kieko nodded and swallowed her ice cream. "There is so much to coordinate and make sure goes right! Word to the wise–just elope! The day after you get engaged!" Deirdre smiled and patted her hand.

"But you'll be happily married tomorrow! Huy's been wonderful and the only episode he's ever had was at Christmas. It will be okay."

"YahI guess. But I have to pick up my mom from the shuttleport at five in the morning."

"I take it that's not a good thing–seeing your mom."

Kieko grimaced. "As I said before, we don't get along very well." She idly swirled her spoon around in a pool of melted ice cream on the edge of the dish. "So what are you so nervous about?"

"My job."

"I didn't know you had one yet."

"I've always had one lined up and waiting for me, even when I first entered college. I picked my major so that it would fit that job."

"What is it?"

"It's in the United Earth Sphere foreign relations department."

"Is that why you've been reading all those old political journals and such?" Deirdre nodded. "It is nerve-racking to start a new job. Even when I was a teenager and got little fast-food jobs, I was terrified. I haven't even thought about how I'll be finishing up my schooling and another college. Ack!"

"Oh, it will be okay, you're a good student."

Then Kieko got that look in her eyes that Deirdre was getting to know all to well. She looked like that every time she was about to pester her about Tai. "Say, you and Tai looked pretty cozy that first night you got here."

Deirdre choked on a piece of banana. "You saw us?"

"Noticed you were gone so I made an excuse and went to look for you–I hadn't noticed that Tai was gone too. So what was up?"

"Nothing. It really was nothing exciting."

"I thought it looked like something."

"He didn't kiss me or anything even close to that. I was just talking to him about my job, that's all. He's a friend, so he tried to comfort me like friends do."

"Usually friends that are boys don't do that! That's what I call a friend with privileges."

"Kieko! That sounds horrible. And I swear nothing happened. And nothing ever will." Her mind wandered off again and she gazed out the window. It had started to rain, casting long dripping shadows of the street lights on the sidewalks and asphalt.

"Noit can't rain _now!_ Can't you wait till the day AFTER tomorrow?" Kieko pleaded with the sky.

"I wouldn't be too worried. Ryuzou said he made sure that on the day of the wedding they didn't have any rain scheduled."

"Well, that's comforting. I can't believe I'll be Mrs. Iwasato tomorrow!"

Deirdre smiled at her and patted her arm. "You have my condolences."

Kieko turned and looked at Deirdre, but then they both started giggling. "Who needs alcohol to get kooky this time of night!"

Deirdre woke to a loud beeping in her ear, and she couldn't figure out what it was so she just told it to shut up a couple times. Then something hard hit her in the head. She jumped up to find herself in her hotel room and Kieko giggling in an almost drunken manner. A shoe lay on her pillow next to where her head had lain.

"I'm up, I'm up."

It was a mess in the room. Both girls were still so tired from the night before, and especially Kieko who'd gotten up at four-thirty to get her mother, that everything from the soggy Cheerio's they had for breakfast to the sound of a flushing toilet made them crack up.

But then a round, middle-aged Japanese woman came running into the room. She and Kieko were screaming at each other within minutes. The woman was telling Kieko how ugly the dress was, how she needed to lose weight, and on and on. Deirdre could only assume that this was Kieko's famed mother. She was a terror.

Deridre did the only thing she could think of to do. She called Ai. "Deridre! Hello dear! Is Kieko getting ready?"

"Kieko's mom just showed up. We could use some help."

Ai seemed to understand exactly what she meant because she was there in ten minutes, just as Kieko's mom was about to slap her daughter. "Don't talk to me like that!" she was screeching when Ai came speeding into the room.

"Kieko! My, this room is a mess. Let's see if we can't get you ready. Ma'am, why don't you go on ahead. I can help here."

Kieko's mother glared at Ai, but Ai was already gently but firmly guiding her to the door. She shut it firmly, then turned around. "Okay, let's see if we can't get you ready." Kieko burst into tears and crumpled to the floor. Deirdre ran to her side and started stroking her hair.

"Come one, it can't be so badyou're going to be getting married and living away from her." Kieko nodded into Deirdre's shirt, accidentally wiping some tears and nose drippings on her.

"Sorryit's justwhy does she have to be such a, such a."

"It doesn't matter," Ai interrupted. "Now let's get you cleaned up."

Deirdre was strongly reminded of her own mother as she watched Ai comfort and dress Kieko, who was such a nervous wreck now that she was hardly capable of buttoning her dress. She missed her mother. Maybe she could take a side trip and visit her mother, spend some time with her. It had been four years after all.

"Deirdre, is your dress all ready? Does it need to be ironed or anything?"

"No. I think it's okay." She quickly pulled it on and put on her makeup. She started to work on her hair but Ai stopped her and told her she'd help her in a minute. Then there was a knock on the door and Deirdre answered it. Gina and Hanako came in with curling irons and bobby pins.

"Never fear, the women are here!" Gina declared and set to work on Deirdre's head.

Within a half an hour they were ready to go and driving to the house. As they pulled up into the driveway, Huy came running out. Gina and Deirdre, who were sitting on either side of Kieko, pushed her down so that he couldn't see her, despite her protests of, "You'll mess up my hair!"

"Mom! Kieko's mom's been screaming at everyone. What happened!"

"She just decided to help Kieko and it turned into a mess, as usual. Don't worry about anything she said. Just go make sure everything's ready."

He nodded but was obviously looking in the car for Kieko. "Where is she?"

Kieko awkwardly raised an arm that came out on the other side of Gina. "I'm hwre!" she said in a muffled voice.

"You aren't to see the bride till the she walks down the isle!" Gina told him, laughing as she pushed Kieko's arm back down.

Deirdre had almost forgotten about Tai and what she had to tell him today, but then she saw him. She was walking down the isle with Gina, Hanako, Julie, and a couple girls she didn't know when she saw him, standing next to his brother at the front. It was beautiful outside. They had white folding chair set up on either side and light purple flowers everywhere. And Tai was watching everything all around. His eyes paused on her, she could see them, and he didn't try to hide it. He gave her a very small smile, so that only she would notice because she was looking right at him and had seen the change in his face. But then he went back to normal. The girls filed off to one side and Kieko came down the isle, with Ryuzou. Her step-father hadn't come.

But she didn't seem to care. She took Huy's arm and glowed. He was grinning back at her like an idiot, but that was actually a pretty common expression on his face. It was a beautiful ceremony. Short and sweet. And Huy and Kieko seemed to have forgotten that anyone else was present.

They laughed and smiled and held hands as they walked together to the house, never letting go. They looked completely content, and like the happiest people in existence. They loved each other, anyone could see that this wedding was really about love, and not some other little side plot. They wanted each other and only each other.

Someday they'd probably have kids. They'd have a nice little house, just like this one, and raise their kids there. Huy would have an eight to five job and come home for dinner every night and Kieko would be smiling and happy. They'd be the perfect little couple and family. Normal, stable, and comfortable.

She felt a strange sadness climb over her. She'd never have that. It would only be work for her. Why couldn't someone else do her job? Why couldn't she enjoy a life like that? Both had had unusual childhoods, whereas she had had a very comfortable and stable childhood with the Darlians. Maybe this was the trade off. It didn't seem fair though.

But it would be okay because she'd be making sure that they could live like this, happy and safe. She felt Tai fall in step beside her. Suddenly, she didn't think she could follow through with her plan.

Tai stood in the back of the room. He was getting a little bored. People didn't make him nervous, not by their sheer numbers, but this was dull. Kieko and Huy looked wonderful. Their faces were shining as the talked to old friends and family. They stood there–Kieko looking magnificent in her long white gown, and Huy with a protective arm at her waist, never letting go, not even loosening.

They cut the cake and shoved it into each others' noses, and shortly after the bouquet and garter were thrown. Then he noticed Deirdre's red head progressing to the door, shortly after the bride and groom had disappeared to change and prepare for their flight.

He cut through the crowd and intercepted her in the hall. She had her coat half-on and as she bent over, the darkened window letting the light hit her hair, giving it an almost violet hue. "Leaving?"

She jumped a little and looked up at him with her stern look as if steeling herself. "Taithat was a beautiful wedding, wasn't it? Give them my apologies. I must be going."

Tai nodded. "Why the hurry?"

She closed her eyes for a moment, and looked down. But then she stood up straight and looked right at him. "I'm going back soon. I have to get ready."

"I thought you weren't doing it till the fall."

"It seems that I'm needed, rather desperately." She suddenly looked very serious, very old and tired.

"What's happening?" Tai wasn't sure he wanted to know though.

"I can't talk about it."

"Can't or won't?"

"Okay, fine. Won't. I won't let you get dragged into this again. You are happy and living a life which many of us only dream of. I won't drag you into this so I won't tell you anything about it, Tai." She started to turn but Tai grabbed her arm and held her still.

"And you can be dragged in? Why you?"

"Because it's what I know how to do! It's what I'm good at and what I want. I want to make it so that you can keep living as you do."

"Relena" Tai's eyes softened as he looked down at her, but it seemed that Deirdre felt threatened because she backed away.

"I'm still Deirdre!" she glared at him. "I'm not her, not yet."

"Then why do you leave?"

Deirdre looked up at him in utter disbelief. That was when Tai realized the irony of the situation. "I'm sorry Deirdre. I'm sorry. Do what you must."

She nodded and looked a little relieved. But as she started to go, something clicked in Tai. "Deirdre, wait." She turned and looked at him, holding the door open. "Will I get to talk to you anymore?" Tai suddenly realized how much he wanted to talk to her, to keep her there and just talk, not let her go, she who knew his past better than anyone, she who knew him and did not judge.

"TaiI don't thinkI thinkonce I go back, it would be better if we didn't associate again. It's too dangerousfor you. Someone might find you and then."

Tai wanted to interrupt and tell her she was being silly, but at the same time something in her face wouldn't let him do it, or say it. So he nodded. "Okay. I'll see you later then." But before she could go, a sudden impulse took over and he bent and kissed her on the cheek. "Good luck. Call me if you ever need me." She blinked back tears and nodded.

"Bye." Then she left very, very quickly.

Tai turned around and leaned against the door, rubbing his hands up his face and through his fingers and let out a huge sigh. Then he opened his eyes to Kieko and Huy dressed and ready to go, but as they stood there, hand in hand, and they were both staring at him with large eyes.

"What was that?" Huy asked, breaking the silence.

"How long were you there?"

"Only for the last little bitabout her leaving and not being able to talk to you again," said Kieko.

Tai nodded. "I'll explain later."

Huy looked like he had just swallowed a lemon. "You always say that! What the heck is going on with you two? This is driving me mad!"

"Look Huy, I'm sorry but I can't tell you. But very shortly I will be able to tell you!"

"That's what you said last fall" Huy growled.

"Well, this time it will be very soon–probably in a couple weeks even. I'm sorry, but can't tell you till then. I have to see what's going to happen first."

"So you will only be telling me part of what's going on then?" he asked sarcastically. Kieko took his arm and started mumbling things to him. "I will not calm down!" he told her, but not as fiercely as he was yelling at Tai.

"Huy, since when have I ever told you everything that's ever happened to me?"

Huy closed his eyes, and nodded. "You're right. You never have. I'll always only be looking in but never really know you."

"Now that's just crap Huy and you know it," Tai countered. "You know me better than almost anyone and you don't need to know what's happened to me, you sense it. It's beyond speaking." The two brothers sighed at each other. "Now get going or you'll miss your flight." Huy nodded and pulled Tai into a one-armed hug.

"I'm sorry man. Sorry."

"Yah, you're pretty sorry alright. Now have fun. Kieko, take care of him for me."

Deirdre hurried to her cab in front. "The Hotel on Center street," she told him. Then leaned back and squeezed her eyes shut, forcing the tears to stop. She couldn't cry, she wouldn't. But she could see Tai's face as she spoke to him and it burned her.

The cab stopped in front of the hotel and she asked the driver to wait for her. She ran upstairs and picked up her carefully packed backpack. Kieko had already cleaned her things out so Deirdre checked out and ran to the cab, then told him to go to the shuttle port. In the car, she put her few souvenirs from the wedding inside her bag–a napkin, a program, and a purple flower with a ribbon on it.

It hit her suddenly that Tai had actually kissed her on the cheek, and she started to cry again. But then the cab stopped.

The shuttle she sat down in the back of was small and a bit rusty. It made her nervous. She also looked around for Kieko and Huy, so that they wouldn't see her catching a shuttle. However, she had made sure to catch a different one than the one Kieko and Huy were taking.

A briefcase sat at her feet and she left it there until they took off, then she picked it up and began to read–she only had five hundred pages left of what Milliardo had sent her. The shuttle stopped at a larger colony nearby and Deirdre switched shuttles. She had to wait in the port for an hour though, and she got a lot of reading done. But then she started getting jumpy. Someone would find her, someone would recognize her. She was traveling alone and she would be caught.

But she wasn't and she landed safely on earth, unscathed. It was an overnight flight, so she was exhausted and checked into her hotel as soon as possible. But it was wonderful breathing the air on earth–it had a different feel to it, almost sweet. And everything looked bright–buildings were allowed to get old on Earth, unlike the geometric colonies. She liked the decaying statues in front of the government buildings, it made things real, gave them a history and a past.

The hotel was small and crummy but near a shopping strip so she went over and bought herself some bread and granola bars–she just needed something to last her till tomorrow when Milliardo came to get her. But she was too tired to eat now, and she crawled into her bed, and fell deeply asleep.

It was good that she was so tired because she had been able to forget for a short time what she had to do. She also had forgotten what she had left behind. But then she woke up, famished, and sat alone snacking on bread and overly sweet granola bars while watching pathetic late-night TV, she pictured Kieko and Huy sitting together, laughing, in each other's arms.

Suddenly she lost her appetite and got restless. It was three in the morning and she was a mess. She decided to dye her hair now. So she got in the shower and opened the box. But her hands shook and it took her five minutes to get it open, and by the time she had finished her hair, she was crying again, curled into fetal position by the bathtub drain.

_What's wrong with me!_ Then she started laughing, thinking how stupid she was, siting here and bawling her eyes out. It was so silly.

So she wrapped herself up in a towel and climbed into bed with her reading. She was good at what she did, she told herself. She was going to save lives and help people and do what was right and protect everyone. She would uphold peace and that's all that mattered. She wouldn't have family like Tai and Huy and Kieko, but she had people she loved and loved her. That's all that mattered, so she would never be weak again. It was time to be strong.

The next morning at eight, she checked out of her room and walked down the street, with nothing but the clothes on her back, a credit card in her pocket, and a worn leather briefcase. She had thrown all of her other things away in a dumpster behind an old resturant. All her things from college that she wanted to keep, she had left in a storage facility, and then Noin had picked it up later. No one would track her.

She walked to the bus stop and an old, dented blue car pulled up. Milliardo pushed open the door and Deirdre wanted to laugh. He had his hair stuffed up in a hat and had large sunglasses on. "Hey, what do you expect me to do? Walk out in full uniform?"

"It's nice to see you brother."

"It's nice to see you too."

Tai pulled into the driveway, having just gotten off work. Today had been a bit unusual because he had done a little job shadowing as well as his work as a CNA, but it didn't get him anywhere nearer to deciding what to do about a specialty.

He walked in the put his keys down on the ground by the stairs and kicked off his shoes, but was surprised by voices in another room. Normally the house was empty whenever he came home for a little while. Yachi helped at a kid's summer camp and Ai volunteered all day at the hospital.

The voices were coming from the living room, so Tai headed in that direction.

"Hey! How're you doing?" Huy greeted. Kieko was sitting next to him on the couch and Ai was in a chair across the room.

"Fine. You guys have a good time?" Kieko nodded and Tai noticed they were holding hands–he took it as a good sign that they hadn't killed each other yet.

"Tai, why don't you help me unload the grocery's? I left them in the kitchen," Ai told him. Tai felt a twinge of the unjust, as he had just gotten off work, but he didn't argue and before he knew it, he was also cutting vegetables for dinner. It was fun to eat at home, actually. Though he had never cared about his past before he met his family, now that he had one he found Japan and the culture very interesting. He felt more like a foreigner learning to like something new, but he did like it, including the food–cooking was always an adventure. But he'd finally mastered the rice balls and dumplings. He wasn't up to sushi or sashimi yet.

That night, Tai left Huy and Yachi giggling over a board came to go up to his room and read. But the same thing happened–it had happened nearly every day he walked into his room now–Huy's things were mostly gone. They were preparing to move into their new apartment on another colony, and it was empty. Huy and Kieko were using Gina's old room while they visited for a few days before moving on. But it was worse even now because the rest of Huy's things were in boxes sitting at the end of the bunk beds. And Tai felt lonely again.

He shook it off and told himself how silly he was–after all, he'd spent years and years all alone, why was it so different now? But Tai knew the answer to that–he knew the difference, he knew what it was like to have someone.

Then he did the same thing he did every time this started to bother him–he pictured the rest of his family and all his friends and reminded himself that vid and telephones and email were wonderful inventions.

Tai heard the door open behind him. "You disappeared on me man! Left me to my own devices with Yachi!"

"How'd you escape?" he asked, turning around to face his brother.

"Oh, I got her and Kieko talking and just kind ofslipped away," he explained as he settled himself onto the floor in front of the closet and pulled several boxes out. "It's amazing how much junk you accumulate over the years! I didn't realize how much I had in this room!"

Tai joined him and nodded in agreement. He'd never had many belongings before, but just in a few short years, he suddenly had more than he knew what to do with.

"How's work going?" Huy continued.

Tai shrugged. "It's work. Same as always."

"Do you think you'll be able to survive these few months before school starts?"

"I'll live. I'll find some projects, maybe start studying ahead of time."

"Sohow's Deirdre?"

Tai wasn't fooled for a minute. He knew exactly what Huy was aiming at. "I'll tell you as soon as I can. I haven't heard from her since she said goodbye at the wedding."

"Hm." Huy looked thoughtful a minute, as if he was about to say something, but thought better of it. Tai felt that was a first for his brother and almost congratulated him. "You know," Huy began finally. "Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but I really think that some day you will find someone wonderful, Tai. And being married–it's the strangest thing. Waking up and belonging to someone, not just being with them, it's a totally different feeling. I guess I just see you and Deirdre together and I keep hoping that you'll get together with her because you fit each other so well, and then we'll be in the same place in life again. I mean, these last few years we've done everything together and understood everything about each other. But now it's different and I miss it. I want to be where you are again, but I would never give up Kieko so I want you to be where I am. Does that make sense?"

"Sort of." Tai was touched though, by his brother's thought. "But you know that's not likely to happen, don't you? I could never inflict myself upon anyone else."

"Tai, quit saying that. You sound like you're in high school again." Tai jumped at his brother's words. It was one thing for him to say that to Huy, but Huy never told him that, and that was because Tai had never acted like a child in his life–he'd never been a child. But Huy went on. "You sound melodramatic and silly. Yes you have problems, things that you worry about left over from the war, but we all have our own problems and we get over them. And there's someone for everyone–you find someone who can understand and live with you. So don't talk like that."

"It's not that simple Huy. What if I woke up from a nightmare and accidentally stabbed my wife? Or what if someone finds me, what if they hurt those I love?"

"Then why do you allow yourself a mother and father and siblings? What's the difference? Tai, I think you are just making excuses to avoid something else, some other bigger problem that you are blocking from your mind so you don't have to identify it and deal with it."

Tai didn't know what to say. He was stunned but felt immediately defensive, which told him that at least something his brother had said was true. So he just kept looking at his hands.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to start giving you a lecture. I just don't want you becoming a lonely old recluse reading really huge books and shouting at people for letting their dogs poop on your yard."

Tai snorted. "I don't think there's any danger of that. And maybe you are right. I don't know."

"Promise me that this next semester you will ask out at least two girls, or go on two dates."

Tai glared at his brother. "I will not promise any such thing. That's silly."

Huy sighed again. Just then Kieko and Yachi came running into the room and their discussion ended.

The few months till he was to go to school passes quickly and he was already getting off the shuttle and walking on Earth again, the first time he had done so since the Marimeia incident. It was strange because he really didn't feel any different, like he'd crossed some invisible line, as he thought he should.

He scanned the room and almost immediately found Donny, tall and lanky as ever, but his skin looked healthier, as if he'd actually been able to eat a few square meals, unlike when they'd been starving together on that run-down colony. It seemed so long ago.

"Long time, no see!" Donny said cheerfully and gave Tai a one armed hug. "Tai now, huh? Remind me if I forget to call you that!"

"Sure thing. You still got space for me in your apartment?"

"Oh yah. I ran off my last roommate," Donny told him, winking. "Just for you."

"Only for me, eh?"

"Your stuff got here okay a couple days ago. I threw it into your room."

"Thanks." They climbed into Donny's old car, but at least it run. Donny flipped on the radio and started rapping loudly along with it.

Funny how much things could change. And somehow, Tai felt more comfortable with Donny than even Huy or Duo. Things were different between people when you starved together.

The place Donny parked in front was down a nice little suburban road with lots of neat little houses trimmed by old men and little old women knitting in porch swings. He loved it immediately. The house was yellow and small but neat and they had their own door to the basement from the outside so they didn't have to tramp through their landlady's living quarters upstairs.

Donny had a way of finding cheap, but decent, clean places to live. It had a kitchen and small living room and a bathroom and two bedrooms, all of them reasonable sizes. And the landlady, a little hunched over woman who was partially senile but very cute, was gone most of the time playing bridge or outside gardening and bringing them fresh vegetables–at least that's what Donny had told him.

There were some steps that went downward and underground a little bit to get to the door–the basement was entirely underground, except for the tops of small, rectangular windows that were nearly at the ceiling in all the rooms. Donny handed him a key. "This is yours. It only works for this door, not the landlady's door. And she keeps the basement door to the upstairs locked and she never comes down here so it's pretty much private. It may be a little like a cave, but it's nice. Also, she is going a little crazy so make sure you get any agreement you make with her in writing. She tries to get away with not writing anything, but inevitably she forgets and it's just a huge mess."

Donny began pointing out the rooms and then opened one room at the back of the house. "Here is your humble abode. It didn't come furnished but the last guy here left his bed and an old bookshelf so you have a little stuff in there." It was full of his boxes he'd mailed several weeks prior. "Anything you want to store in the kitchen, just make room for yourself. And unfortunately I have a test on some things for training at work so I need to get going."

"Thanks."

Donny nodded and grinned and disappeared up the stairs. Tai turned and looked at the bare room–a twin bed and built in closet with a crooked bookshelf in a corner. The bed frame was rusting in spots and the mattress was nearly thread bare–Tai wasn't too surprised the last guy left them there. He'd have to do a little shopping–maybe get Donny to take him when he came back. And he dug into his boxes.

Four hours later, he had all his kitchen things stored away and all the clothes that needed to be hung in the closet. He tried out the bed and decided he'd have to find a new matress. Donny stuck his head in the room and knocked on the wall. "You hungry?"

"Yah"

"Let's grab something." In the car, Donny was giving him a run down of the town and pointing things out. The medical school was near by, within walking distance so it was even better for Tai.

They stopped at Walmart and Tai bought some furniture kits–a desk, bookshelf, and short chest of drawers. Then he got a mattress pad to tide him over till he got a new bed. And groceries–the all-important groceries. They stopped at a fast food joint on the way home.

It felt like he was in high school again.

But he spent all night putting the furniture together with Donny's"help."

"Okay, so you put the nail in this way and use this thing to pound it in?" he asked.

"That's a screw and you need a screw driver to use that."

"OH! So that's why it wasn't working! You know, for easy-to-follow-directions', it sure is complicated."

Tai just shook his head. "How do you like working for the Preventors?"

"Eh, it's work. But they're training me on the radio equipment! And you wouldn't believe all the stuff they let me work on putting together!"

Tai rolled out of bed three days later and got dressed, picked up his back pack weighed down with three gargantuan textbooks and slugged to school. The first day of post-grad work–he wasn't really nervous though.

The school itself was small–only several thousand students, which as an adjustment from being totally anonymous at his previous schools. Here, you could at least recognize everyone you met. His first class was anatomy and he found the room easily. It was a largish lecture hall–big enough for several hundred people. A man stood at the front by a table with what Tai assumed was a body sitting on top of it. But it was shrouded in cloth and plastic wrappings.

The bell rang and the man immediately began to go over reasons to respect the cadavers they'd be working. A girl next to him looked green in the face as the professor pointed at various muscles on the skinned cadaver's face.

He was glad when the bell rang–he was tired of hearing that girl gag. He'd make sure not to sit near her the next class.

"That was sure interesting, wasn't?" a girl walking beside him said enthusiastically. She was about his height and had an abundance of bouncing brown curls all over, making her look a little like a fallen angel.

"Yah." He knew he should be friendly, but he wasn't sure how–what was he supposed to say?

"Hey, I'm going to start up a study group. You wanna be in it?" She asked.

Tai shrugged. "Why not?"

"Great! I'm Siduri McKlellin!"

"Tai Iwasato." Then all of a sudden, she was gone again. Tai figured that he wouldn't see her again, but he was wrong. Then next class she was sitting next to him and happily babbling just like last time. And she kept doing that every class–they were on week five now.

"Hey! How're you doing!" the bouncy brunette asked him as she sat down next to him.

Tai shrugged in response. "Okay. What about you?"

"Oh, fine. But I was trying to read that stupid anatomy book and it made me wish that I'd paid more attention in Latin andoh hi!" She waved to another guy in their group–she had apparently approached several other people, having analyzed the entire room and decided who she wanted to study with.

He nodded vaguely and came over. "HelloSiduri, Tai" he sat down next to them. And the torrent of information rushed over them, flowing from the teacher's mouth, right over their heads. Which was why they went to lunch together and reviewed everything immediately after. There were five people in their little group–so they pulled up an extra chair for the four-person table in the little outdoor café that they always studied at. Emi, the Russian, liked to watch the news on the TV's in all the corners.

"Okay, so I've got my notes and.what's wrong?" Siduri asked, looking over at Emily, fishing around in her purse.

"I've lost my planner! I think I was supposed to have a lunch date today." And the distressed blond was looking frantically through her bag, which was the size of Texas.

Siduri pulled it away. "Well you are studying so it doesn't really matter anyway! Now lets get moving."

By the time Emi had watched his ten minutes of news, Emily had put away her bag, and Vince had ordered his food, Tai was getting impatient started wondering if he should just study on his own–he wasn't a fan of group studies. It was nearly an hour later when they actually began studyingand studyingand kept studying till about ten that night. Tai had never been lazy, but this was ridiculous, he thought.

But then they stopped for dinner and Emi turned on the news again. And Tai about fell out of his seat. "And now the shocking return of Relena Darlian. Now that the rumors of her death have been put to rest"

"I have to go," Tai said quickly and grabbed his bag before anyone could say anything, and sprinted home. He swung down the stairs, landing on his knees and raced to the phone. It normally took him twenty minutes to walk home. Today he did it in ten. Kieko picked up the phone when it rang.

"Been for a little jog?" she asked him, observing his red face over the vidphone.

"Ineed to /pant/ talk to H-/pant pant/Huy"

"Let me get him."

Huy grinned at him. "How's school?"

"Hard. /Pant/ Turn on the newsyou have to /pant/ see"

Huy cocked an eyebrow. "I have to see, huh?" He shrugged and turned it on, and sat down. Tai could see Kieko leaning on the couch behind him to watch.

"So what's up? What is it I'm supposed to see?"

"It'll come onjust wait"

"How am I supposed to know what you" Huy's voice trailed off and he leaned forward. "Tai, Relena Darlian, she's back!"

Tai nodded. "I know that's what"

"You said you knew her before–aren't you excited?" Huy said, not really hearing Tai at all.

"I am"

"She looks like Deirdre," Huy said in a surprised, skeptical voice.

"She is Deirdre."

"Oh. Oh, I see."


	18. On the Horizon

Chapter Eighteen On the Horizon   
  
Two years later....   
  
"This just isn't working...I just don't know how to get it to work..." Quatre was telling Zechs in the control room. "We need a better system, but I just can't..."   
  
"We could use that demo of Zero, add onto it a bit," Zechs suggested.   
  
"And who could possibly pilot it, eh? Only three people in the history of mankind have been able to use it and one is now a civilian, one has to be elsewhere that day, and one is the commander with another role. We can't use that! It's unethical..."   
  
"Well if you are worrying about ethics now, we are in trouble."   
  
"I'm serious Zechs."   
  
Trowa sat quietly in the back watching the two pick apart the problem, which he personally could only see one solution too. "Hey you guys..."   
  
Both men jumped, having forgotten Trowa was even there. "What?" Zechs asked.   
  
"May I make a suggestion?"   
  
"Anything!" Quatre said despairingly.   
  
"Heero. We should call him."   
  
"He would never do it..."   
  
"He's happy and enjoying his little civilian life..."   
  
"He's probably too busy...." But Trowa interrupted their excuses.   
  
"He would be perfectly safe, hidden away. No one would know of his existence. He could write us a program and send it by way of email, or we could figure something out. He already knows we are up to something—he and Duo keep in close contact and you know Duo will have let some hints slip. And Heero is smart, he knows we aren't going to just let Relena keep battling it out verbally, he knows some action must be taken against these guys. He knows more of what is needed from a program and more about writing them than anyone else."   
  
Zechs looked thoughtful. "I'll have to think about that...."   
  
Just then Wufei stormed in. "I can't take it any more! That kid is going!" he yelled to all of them.   
  
Zechs was beginning to feel his brilliant plan fall to pieces before his eyes. The situation had done just as he predicted—one group lost, adopted to leaders from the first, grew, changed, and was quickly advancing towards a Mafia type stage in power and development specializing in intrigue and usurping of power. While Relena still insisted on peace and disarmament, Zechs planned an all out surprise attack.   
  
First, they were developing new shuttles. The Gundams were gone and would stay gone, but Zechs thought to improve upon the idea of Operation Meteor and build fighter shuttles faster and better than anything before. Quatre designed them. Duo got the parts. Trowa built them. And Wufei was piloting one and training others to pilot the others. There would be eight of them, two for each major base of the New Mafia, as Zechs liked to call them. No one was even sure what they were called; they kept even that a secret. In fact, very little was known about the organization itself, except you had to know the sign and the code to enter the meetings. They were buying up materials to make weapons, and they were probably buying out local politicians, at least that's what Noin and Sally thought from watching the news from those areas.   
  
When the shuttles were finished, Zechs would make sure Relena was safely at a far away meeting. Because the attack sites all faced Mars, he and Noin would then go to Mars and instruct the shuttles from there and command the rest of the "cavalry." They would attack simultaneously from each side of each of four major points, catching them totally off guard and annihilate them before they could do anything. At least, that was the plan. But the shuttle designing and building proved more difficult than expected, the pickings for pilots were abysmal and the programs for the shuttles were still non-existent. If Zechs could cry, he would.   
  
"What are the upstarts doing to you now, Wufei?" Trowa asked, falsely worried.   
  
"Ha-ha. They are idiots! How they became Specials, may I ask? ARG!"   
  
"Wufei, what if you take a break," Zechs suggested.   
  
"I am taking a break! Why do you think I'm in here screaming?"   
  
"No. I mean from the project."   
  
The other three men gaped at Zechs. "What! We need him Zechs!" Quatre said sharply.   
  
"Yes, but we need pilots. Why don't you, Wufei, take a break from the project and train a few newbies, heh? Give you a fresh perspective?"   
  
"But if I leave here, these idiots will never get better and then you want me to deal with obnoxious little boys who...oh..." Wufei's eyes grew large. "I understand."   
  
"I'll set it up with Lady Une," Zechs told him. Wufei nodded and sat down quietly.   
  
"Okay then. I think I'll leave you gentlemen to your projects. I have some things to arrange." And Zechs left.   
  
The other three looked at each other. "You know, sometimes I really wish he'd explain what he's up too. I never know what the heck's going on around here," Wufei whined.   
  
"I think that's the way he wants it," Trowa observed quietly. "It's safer that way."   
  
"You think he doesn't trust us?" Wufei asked, scandalized.   
  
"Well, not exactly that. I just think he doesn't want to have to trust us, to put us at that risk. He could be court-martialed for this. And do you have any idea what Relena would do if she found out?"   
  
Quatre slapped his forehead. "Simatta! I forgot! I was supposed to call!" And he sprinted away. Trowa and Wufei just looked at each other and shrugged.   
  
  
  
Zechs leaned back in his chair in his office just when Relena's face blipped into view. "Milliardo! I've been trying to get a hold of you all day!"   
  
"Sorry. I was out."   
  
"So I gathered. I wanted to ask if you have my security set up for my next trip. I want to see if I can talk some sense into these colonists before things get sticky."   
  
"Yes, Relena. Everything is taken care of."   
  
She nodded. "Good. Well, I have to run now. I'm getting a call from Quatre—I've been expecting him to call with his colony's reports for a while now...I'll talk to you later, okay?"   
  
Zechs smiled at her innocent face. "Okay."   
  
And he leaned back again and sighed. "Things are already sticky, Relena," he muttered to himself as he dialed a number. Trowa was right about Heero. He was the best man for the job; maybe even the only man...and luckily he had connections. His roommate was a Preventor. Zechs just hoped that he'd agree.   
  
Zechs decided it would be safer to use a regular phone—he didn't want to risk anyone seeing his face. The phone rang several times before a girl answered. "Hello?"   
  
"Is Tai there?"   
  
"Uh-huh..." Zechs heard her snap her gum as she handed to phone to Heero and said "Fer you".   
  
"Hello." He was stern sounding as usual.   
  
"Hello Heero. How are you doing?"   
  
Zechs did not sense any surprise in Heero but then again, Heero was very good at that sort of thing.   
  
"Fine, and you?" Zechs heard footsteps on the other end. Heero would be going someplace to be alone.   
  
"Fine. I was wondering if you could meet me somewhere. I have a job for you, if you will agree..."   
  
"Sure. Donny forgot his lunch; I'll bring it to work for him. I assume you know about him."   
  
"Naturally."   
  
"I'll see you in a few."   
  
"Bye."   
  
  
  
All the way to the Preventor headquaters, Tai cursed himself. He cursed himself for caring, he cursed himself for his confidence that he could help. He cursed everything. At the desk the receptionist raised an eyebrow at him, holding the paper bag in his had, but she didn't object.   
  
"I'll call him down here for you."   
  
Shortly there after Duo walked in, ran over to Tai and gave him a huge hug. "How's my pal!"   
  
"Fine," Tai grunted.   
  
Duo grinned, put an arm firmly around his shoulders, and guided him through the outside door before he could object. "How's Med school going?"   
  
"Hard. I start clinical rotations soon."   
  
"Oh...that's great...and how about the girls..." Tai got the distinct impression that Duo was not listening to him as he lead him to his car.   
  
"None to talk about."   
  
"Good, good..." Tai raised and eyebrow as he got in and Duo began to drive.   
  
"Don't turn around, either of you. Keep talking." The unseen voice of Zechs came from the back seat.   
  
Tai almost jumped, but he controlled himself. The idea of Zechs Marquis hiding in the back seat of a car—it was costing him dearly to refrain from howling like a hyena.   
  
"What's going on Zechs?" he finally managed to ask, after regaining control of his metal faculties.   
  
Zechs sighed and began. "These guys are out of hand."   
  
Tai nodded. "Those pseudo Mafia rumors are flying around about? I figured as much. What do you know about them?"   
  
"They have so many codes and words to get into their meetings; we haven't been able to get anyone inside—not even Trowa. But we do know that they are paying off local leaders..."   
  
Duo snorted and inserted a "Well-duh!" But Zechs ignored him.   
  
"They are importing all kinds of materials, scary serious stuff so we know they are planning something big. They're stationed everywhere and are watching the Preventors very carefully, and they have four major locations on opposite ends of space, all on colonies, all facing Mars. It seems odd that they are so coordinated so we are pretty sure they are either planning on blowing all space facilities into oblivion or they have some new technology and a massive trick up their sleeve."   
  
"So what's the plan? Blow them up as soon as possible before Relena finds out?" Tai asked.   
  
"Sort of. It's more complicated than that though. We want to duplicate Operation Meteor in a way. Eight shuttles, designed by Quatre, built by Trowa, six pilots trained by Wufei long with himself and Trowa. Two shuttles for each point attacking simultaneously. They won't know what hit them and Relena won't know about it at all. She'll be safe on the other side of earth so she can stay happy and keep her little pacifist ideals."   
  
"Sounds thorough."   
  
Zechs caught the implication—it was extermination. "It's all we can do. They won't listen, heck; we can't even talk to them. We have to get them before they get us. They are so carefully hidden—they've got to have some experts working for them, and that scares me. We have to make a move before they move on us."   
  
"So why am I needed?"   
  
Zechs sighed from the back, and Tai was tempted to look back and try to read his expression. Duo was strangely quiet. Tai suddenly wondered if Hilde knew about any this.   
  
"We can't get a good OS going. I though of using Zero System, but now I realize that's out of the question."   
  
"And you want me to write it?"   
  
"Yes. You could send files by email or your roommate. You are a medical student and civilian. You would be safe and hidden and no one should have any files on you unless you get yourself arrested. We do not need your presence. They are watching us way too carefully for comfort, hence this ridiculous situation," Zechs said, indicating his preposterous position in the back seat.   
  
"We don't want them to notice any connection between you and us. The quieter they are, the better we can beat them at the game. Just help us by writing that system. You will be well paid too—but discretely. Gundam pilot's identities are military secrets not kept on file anywhere, but still we have to be careful. We don't think they suspect us of actually working on anything, yet, but we don't want them to pick up on anything now. What do you say? If we don't do anything, it will get out of hand and Relena will keep holding on to her principles, but they just aren't practical right now."   
  
Tai was quiet for a while, but then said, "Need you ask?"   
  
  
  
When Tai got off the bus from his trip to Preventor headquarters, his study group was still sprawled out in the living room. "Sorry about that guys," he said by way of greeting.   
  
"Eh, don't worry 'bout it babe," Emily told him. Tai inwardly flinched at being called babe. She called everyone that, but it still bugged him a little.   
  
"I just don't get how this system works anymore! I understood it in year one but now I've forgotten it. Does the interleukin one hit the same time as the MHC 1 complex, or just after it?" Siduri asked. Tai was sure she wouldn't have much hair left by the end of the night, but it grew so fast that it'd probably be back by morning, curls going wild as always. But it was difficult for him to care about anything, after talking to Zechs. His stomach was in knots.   
  
"Maybe I still have those notes somewhere..." Vince muttered to himself. Emi was asleep on the floor.   
  
"Glad I vacuumed the other day," Tai muttered. Emily giggled.   
  
"Did you pull out your feather duster and wood polish too?" she teased.   
  
Donny came home around seven and Emily waved to him like she always did. She thought it was "so cool" that Tai's roommate was a "real-live Preventor." Sometimes Tai wondered how she got into medical school, but she was really smart, just a free spirit. Usually Donny waved back and flirted a little with her, but tonight he just nodded and went to his room without even stopping by the kitchen for a snack.   
  
"What's wrong with him?" Emily asked, chewing on her eraser.   
  
"Heck if I know. Hey Emi," Tai said, swatting the sleeping boy with a pillow. "Get up. Time to study."   
  
He blinked groggily. "Huh? Oh, Vas I sleeping again?"   
  
Siduri rolled her eyes. "Let's get back to the cascade system. Which enzymes do we have to know?"   
  
"All of them naturally," Tai told her.   
  
"I heard a really great joke," Emi said. "Emily, vat state is above Utah in America?"   
  
"Idaho?" she half asked, still trying to decide if her knowledge of world geography was correct.   
  
Vince started giggling. "Oh grow up, will you?" Siduri was getting herself worked up into a state again.   
  
"I don't get it," Emily said, confused.   
  
"Let's just get studying," Tai tried to stop an argument from studying. Whenever big exams came up, Siduri got impossible to live with and Emi impossibly perverted. This was the last round before they began clinical rotations and practicum.   
  
"I-da-ho? Get it?" Emi asked.   
  
"Uh-uh...."   
  
"Oh for crying out loud!"   
  
"Okay, okay. We'll study like good little boys and girls now," Vince said. "But Emily, I didn't know you were like that."   
  
"Like what?"   
  
"ARG! Tai, where do you keep your soap! Someone needs it for their mouth."   
  
"In the kitchen," Tai told her. This ought to be good, he couldn't help but thinking. Siduri was angry enough that she actually got the dish soap from its home by the kitchen sink and came over to Emi with it.   
  
Emi just looked at her and didn't move. Siduri called his bluff and pounced.   
  
"EeeeeeeAAARggggg!" Emi yelled and jumped up. Siduri went tearing after him. Emi managed to get on the other side of the couch from her and they played ring around the rosies for a little bit before Siduri took a flying leap over the couch and landed on Emi's head.   
  
It wasn't long before she had him in a head lock and aimed the soap down at him. Tai decided since this was his house, that Donny obviously wasn't in a very good mood and needed peace, and his duty as a friend of Emi's, that he would step in...eventually. He wondered if dish soap lathered very well with saliva.   
  
  
  
It was eleven before they left and Tai knocked quietly on Donny's door. It was really strange for him to stay quiet and in his room all night. He opened it carefully, not to be noisy in case Donny was asleep. But he wasn't. He was sitting on his bed, eyes open, and listening to music quietly.   
  
'You okay?"   
  
"Some random guy talked to me today on my way home."   
  
"Oh." Tai was tempted to say, so what, but he knew Donny would get to that. He was the storytelling type, but only when he was in a good mood--and this was not a good mood.   
  
"He wanted me to give you something." Donny sat up and picked up his uniform's coat and pulled an envelope out and handed it to Tai. Tai took it from him and felt the contents through the paper. It felt like a disk.   
  
"Did he say anything else about it?"   
  
"No. But I can guess what it's about." Donny looked at Tai significantly, but Tai was sure he had the wrong idea.   
  
"I'm not into any drugs, Donny. I swear."   
  
"Oooookay...I just wanted to make sure you weren't being stupid or something. Too much studying can make you a little crazy in the head, ya know?"   
  
"I know. Is this why you've been acting so weird?"   
  
"No. Maybe a little part of it, but no where near all of it. I'm just...it's just...work. Things have gotten hectic at work. That's all."   
  
But Tai knew exactly what that meant because very little could cause Donny get into such a state—the same thing that made him so upset. The word was out at headquaters that war was on the way and they were supposed to prepare. But Zechs had known for a while and had been working on this project for a long time. It had to work—and he had to do his part.   
  
"Just tell me if you need to get out of the apartment, do something fun, ya know?"   
  
Donny nodded slowly and lay back down on his bed, staring at the ceiling again.   
  
He left Donny and went to his room, booted his computer and ripped open the package. A minidisk fell into his hand and he inserted it into his computer and a message popped up onto his computer screen.   
  
"This is a copy of the old Zero system. I thought it might be useful," it read. Then the message disappeared. Tai sighed.   
  
"Let's get started..." he muttered to himself and cracked his knuckles.   
  
  
  
Tai came into the kitchen that morning to find Donny running around the room. "What's the rush?"   
  
"I'wm wate fwor work," Donny said through a mouthful of bagel.   
  
Tai watched his roommate run into the bathroom and heard the water running. Then he lunged for Donny's sack lunch sitting on the table and put a white envelope into the very bottom, under a napkin.   
  
He sat back and got over to the cupboard for cereal just as Donny came running back into the room, grabbed his lunch and a couple files on the table, then sprinted out the door. "Later!" he yelled on his way out.   
  
  
  
Donny flicked on the radio and stomped down on the gas pedal. He had three minutes to go eight miles, through traffic lights and parking.   
  
The first light turned red just as Donny turned the corner. He swore loudly and tapped his fingers nervously on the steering wheel—he'd already been late for work once this year and they did not look kindly on tardiness. And since the alert had been raised for war preparation. Of course the public didn't know about it. They were the preventors, after all. They had to stop it. It was almost as bad as joining the war effort once it's begun—almost. They weren't fighting yet and hopefully they'd be able to get out of any fighting. But searches were on and the pressure was high.   
  
The secrets were the worst, in Donny's opinion he thought as the light turned green and he finally got to move again. But with the secrets, you could talk to anyone. And you knew that the guy in the next office was plotting something that would kill thousands and save millions. What a trade off. You didn't know if there were traitors or if you would be framed—it had happened before. This was serious stuff.   
  
The guard at the door nodded to him, recognizing him. Donny struggled to make his face form a smile. He went to the screening process—a metal detector and two guards stood there, inspecting things. He handed them his files and lunch, and they put them in a plastic container to go through the X-ray. As one man had him walk through, Donny noticed the other going through his lunch.   
  
"Hey! What's in their that's so questionable?" Not that he had anything to hide, but it was the principle of the thing. He worked here and it had already gone through the X-ray. Did he mention that he worked here?   
  
"Just a funny shape...oh...it was a spoon..." the guard said. Donny glared at the Chinese man. He didn't like his attitude.   
  
"Right, he said angrily." And stalked off.   
  
  
  
At twelve Wufei's replacement at the entrance came. They nodded to each other and Wufei picked up his coat and walked down the hall. He got to the elevator and picked his floor, getting off at Zechs' office. He knocked briskly and got a curt command to enter.   
  
Wufei carefully shut the door behind him. "Heero sent us a present," he said, pulling a white envelope out of his pocket and handed it to Zechs.   
  
Zechs took it and opened it carefully. "Disk," he said. "And a note...'thanks for the jumpstart. Tell me what you think of this thus far.'"   
  
"He wrote a note?" Wufei asked incredulously. Heero was really falling out of it if he was getting slopping and uncreative enough to let his writing get around.   
  
"Typed it—looks like a typewriter." Zechs popped the disk into his computer and clicked open a few files. "Oh, I got you a promising group of people to supervise and help train with the specials. All of them have gone through basic training and were accepted into the Specials. Every one of them is intelligent and trained as a pilot. See if any of them will be good and impressionable enough to be of help, eh?" he said, looking up from his computer.   
  
Wufei decided to ignore Zechs' comments for the moment—he didn't think he could face going to those newbies just yet. "What did Heero send you?"   
  
"It looks like the beginnings of the OS—but it's very simple still. Just the very basics. I suppose he wants to know if we like his layout and the response time because...." Zechs trailed off for a moment and Wufei just stood there quietly. Zechs would pick up on his sentence in a moment. "Because it seems that's all it is made of. There are very basic outlines of attachments to various instruments—infrared and the like. But mostly it's a shoot, aim, react type of program. It's fast too. We'll have to plug it in and see if it's too fast—we can't have everyone blacking out in their cockpits."   
  
"Too many g's?"   
  
"Yah.... But I think that's part of those crazy scientists genius, the ones who worked on Operation Meteor."   
  
"I don't understand."   
  
Zechs set back and sighed. "In battle the greatest advantages are strong armor, keeping the brain inside safe, powerful weapons, and reaction time. To build a superior machine, it is limited not by materials but by human capacity. If it is too strong, too fast, the pilot inside is killed. That's why mobile dolls were used for a while, why they could be so fast, besides the fact that computers can process information quicker than humans. Yet, even that didn't matter too much because there was a master mind controlling the dolls from a safer place. Thus, the scientists used children—fifteen year olds to pilot the gundams."  
  
"I still don't see why that's an advantage Zechs," Wufei persisted. It still seemed silly too him—obviously they were all the best pilots. Wufei didn't know what Zechs was going on about, but he wasn't complaining. The longer Zechs took, the later he could be for working with the greenies. "Boys are short."   
  
"What's that got to do with anything?"   
  
"If someone is short, their center of gravity is lowered. If that is the case, their body can tolerate more g's, thus they can handle a faster machine. So the scientists had boys pilot the Gundams. What's more, they chose Heero, who'd been trained to fight since he was in diapers, and Trowa, who grew up on the battle fields. Then there was Duo, a case of ADD if I ever saw one, and you and Quatre, brains and quick learners and very motivated. It worked out perfectly."   
  
"Are you saying I need to recruit the shortest people out there to help pilot these crazy things you're building?"   
  
Zechs smirked. "No. I'm saying don't overlook someone because they look childish and innocent. Get down there Wufei."   
  
Wufei sighed and nodded. He might as well go and meet his fate. And he could chew a little bit on what Zechs had just said. That was so odd. He turned to go but Zechs stopped him with a quick comment.   
  
"You know Wufei, women are short too."   
  
Wufei groaned and Zechs chuckled.   
  
The Specials' training ground was on the opposite side of the compound and it would take about ten minutes to get there, at least when it was Wufei walking—he always took the scenic route. He didn't have to answer to anyone so he could be a little late—just so long as he did show up, eventually.   
  
Sally had gotten married about a year ago and since then Wufei had been through three partners. But all three just were not up to his standards—silly, ignorant, or just plain stupid. He'd managed to find ways to drive all three of them away and then Zechs just gave up on pairing Wufei with anyone again. That was a day to remember, Chang Wufei, the man who got the best of Zechs Marquis.   
  
Sometimes he felt a little remorse for how he treated those three poor unfortunate souls, but then he decided they didn't matter and his literal two seconds worth of humanity disappeared. The first man had attempted to kill Wufei after a mission, so maybe Wufei had gone a bit far. But it had worked and that's all he cared about. And the man's eyebrows would grow back.....   
  
Wufei stopped in front of a building, a chain-linked fence surrounded it. He was here already? He didn't take long enough.   
  
He swiped his ID card and the gate opened for him. Voices echoed through the compound as drill sergeants yelled. But he needed to go inside the building.   
  
On the ground floor was the gym he was looking for. There he found a room full of were children, at least that's what Wufei predicted. He supposed it wasn't fair to assume they were immature and naive before even talking to them, but every other group had been full of dunderheads.   
  
Two very harried looking officers stood at the front demonstrating what looked to be like worst case scenario training on small, half built practice jets mounted to the floor—for if you were caught by the enemy. Wufei went over to them and they nodded in acknowledgement.   
  
"Okay, I want you all to practice preparing for take off in your jets, then ejecting. GO!" one of the officers yelled and all the people below scattered. Then he turned to Wufei. "'Bout time you got your lazy butt here Chang. You get the end group." The way he smirked made Wufei nervous but he wasn't about to let it show.   
  
So he sauntered over to his group to see how they were doing. One boy had gotten tangled in his seatbelt and another couldn't get the ID keypad to recognize his hand indention. This would be a long day....   
  
After several rounds Wufei called his group back. There were ten trainees for him to care for. He just couldn't contain his excitement.   
  
But there were only eight here.   
  
Wufei instructed to group to stay there and he went over to the machines. Behind a jet he saw two figures. One jumped very quickly away from the other, which stood up very slowly, but the jet's wing shadowed them so he couldn't see clearly.   
  
"HEY! Didn't you hear me?" he yelled over at them.   
  
"YES SIR!" a boy's voice answered back.   
  
"Well, get your worthless carcass over there! MOVE!"   
  
Both figures started running. Wufei let them pass him then he followed. The two people found a place in line and Wufei went to join them. But then he realized one of the two was a girl. No, he cursed his luck. Not one of these.... He'd talk to her later and beat it out of her.   
  
He yelled at his group for several hours driving them as hard as he could. Wufei supposed that it was good he didn't have too much authority, he was to maniacal to handle it righteously. Especially when dealing with cocky, snot-nosed brats.   
  
He watched the girl get into one of the cockpits—now was as good of time as any to yell at her.   
  
She was very quick with her fingers and seemed to remember most everything he had told her—or at least she was doing them. Who knew if she actually understood everything. She was quick and small—Wufei thought she looked Asian from his perspective.   
  
He came and stood at the cockpit door until she looked up at him.   
  
"Sir?" Definitely Asian—but darker skinned than most. Indonesian? No...didn't look quite right. Definitely not Japanese or Chinese or Korean.   
  
"Why are you here, soldier?"   
  
She looked startled but recovered quickly. "To protect my family's way of life, sir."   
  
Wufei snorted. Right. That's what they all said. He kept his poker face up. He was good at it. "What's your name?"   
  
"Juliano. Kiki Juliano, sir."   
  
"Well, Kiki Juliano, if you are so serious about this then what are you doing screwing around with your fellow trainees?"   
  
She turned red and griped the controls harder, Wufei was pleased too see. But she didn't answer. Maybe she had a few brains, she new a trap when she smelled one and she wasn't about to answer. He smirked and walked away, having made his point.   
  
It wasn't until later that it occurred to him that she looked angry, not embarrassed.   
  
  
  
Relena put the last few files away and turned around back to her desk. She had finally cleared out her inbox and it was only twelve thirty. Now she could go to sleep.   
  
She picked up her jacket and purse, glanced around her familiar office to make sure all was in order, then she turned to leave. She shut the door but remembered her keys were buried in her purse.   
  
Bending over it, she dug around until she found them and locked the door. Then she turned to leave and almost walked right on top of someone. She jumped and gave a tiny shriek.   
  
"Hey, calm down. It's just me," a familiar smooth voice told her.   
  
She glared at her co-worked. "Marcus. Please, do NOT sneak up on my like that. Especially this time of night. Are you TRYING to kill me?"   
  
He gave her that infuriatingly coy grin that had one captivated her...about four years ago. "Of course not. I was just wondering what one earth YOU were doing here so late, Princess."   
  
"I thought I told you not to call me that."   
  
"Sorry. It's just so easy to say as its so fitting."   
  
"Marcus, I'm tired. And it's late. What do you want? Just tell me so I can get home and get some sleep—please."   
  
Marcus grinned and stepped a few paces back away from her and out of her face. She thanked God for that one; she despised having him that close to her. He just made her so mad, madder than any one else ever had been able to in her life.   
  
"I was contacted by your brother today. He told me to tell you he was sorry but he couldn't get a hold of you today. And your transport to Los Angeles Base is secure."   
  
"Thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going home. Goodnight Marcus."   
  
"'Night."   
  
Relena walked briskly down the corridor to the elevator—parking was underground. But driving made her nervous. Actually, Zechs had been trying for weeks to convince her to get a chauffer and she hadn't bother with it yet—she didn't see the need. But lately, things had been getting scary in the office. Zechs had warned her two years ago that it was getting rough, but she didn't realize it was this rough. And she was scared. Rumors of corruption, buy-outs of politicians, weapons on the black-market. She'd even heard a ludicrous rumor about someone finding the lost Gundams and preparing them for battle. At least that one she knew was false.   
  
And despite how annoying Marcus was, he was a great help. As her first assistant, he went everywhere with her and knew all that she was doing. He was perceptive and intelligent, and sometimes she wondered if he should be the minister and she the assistant. He had picked up on several things that she had missed—people contradicting themselves and so on. But why did he have to be so annoying?   
  
He had never been such a pain before. It wasn't until that car wreck she'd gotten in and met Tai that he'd gotten like this.   
  
She pulled out onto the road as and realized it had been two whole years, over two years, since that accident. It seemed like forever ago. Instinctively she reached up and touched her hair. She still had the flowers—they were pressed in an old book in her bedroom. The Witch of Blackbird Pond, she sometimes felt like Kit. But she wouldn't have a handsome sailor come and save her. She'd cut off her only hope of that.   
  
Sometimes she'd wake up stop and think about everything she'd done in her life. And that was one thing she still could not believe she'd been able to do.   
  
Pulling up into the driveway, she felt a tear fall. She parked and wiped it away. What's wrong with me?!? It had been forever since she'd cried about this.   
  
The lights were off in the house so Relena supposed her mother was asleep now. Since she'd come back, she'd moved in with her mother in her old house. So many memories. When she really thought about this she felt like she was in a cheap thriller novel—family burned to death, her father's best friend cares for the daughter but tragically dies. Her warped brother protects her from afar but becomes the enemy. Then she falls for her brother's enemy. Blah, blah blah. It sounded so paltry.   
  
She opened the door as quietly as she could. Her mother had the most amazing ears. It seemed a bit strange to be twenty-four and living with her mother, but it was a comfort. And it wasn't as if she had time for a social life anyway.   
  
But she decided to get to bed as quickly as she could. She did have a flight tomorrow to LA. More talks with people who wouldn't care. Then after LA there was Rome—Zechs was there though. She could see her brother then.   
  
  
  
Tai rubbed his eyes after walking out of the silent classroom—it had only taken five hours to finish that test. He looked at the library and deliberated for about three seconds whether or not to go home or study all night.   
  
He turned and walked away from the library. His brain was fried.   
  
"Tai!" Siduri called after him.   
  
He stopped and waited for her to catch up with him. "Did you just finish?"   
  
"Yah. That was a killer, wasn't it?"   
  
Tai nodded.   
  
"Hey, you want to go get something to eat?" she asked. Tai's brain wasn't working too well so he had to stop and think about what she had just asked, but it was long enough to notice something very disturbing. Siduri looked nervous and bit her lip. "If you are busy, you know, going out or something, that's fine...." She trailed off.   
  
Tai cocked his head and looked curiously at her. "Are you okay?"   
  
"Yes. Why do you ask?"   
  
"Because I thought for a second you looked nervous. It's me, remember." She fidgeted a little more. What was with her...she suddenly looked like she was preparing for war with a very determined look.   
  
"Tai...listen, I wanted to talk to you about something."   
  
"I'm listening. What's up?"   
  
"I like you. I've liked you since we first met. I think you are smart and nice and an overall decent person. And I'm sure you have girls all over you and are sick of it, but I like you and was wondering if maybe you might like me even in the least."   
  
Tai felt like a brick had been dropped on him. Is this what all her strange body-behavior had meant? Is this what girls acted like if they liked you? And what the crap was he supposed to do? She was his friend and in his study group—he saw her almost every day, and he certainly didn't think of her like that. But what came out of his mouth came so quickly, he didn't even realized what he was saying until it came out.   
  
"Siduri, I do like you a lot as a friend and a person, but I'm just not interested in any kind of relationship with anyone. I'm sorry to be blunt there it is." There it is? What was he, a fruitcake? Great move, Tai. Great things to say to a girl so she doesn't feel stupid or hurt. Tai continued to mentally berate himself while she nodded and looked like she had swallowed something rather large and hard.   
  
"That's fine. I just...had to know. I guess I'll be going then..." she started to turn away and Tai felt like he'd just killed a puppy or something. O wait, he'd done something like that before....now was not the time to think about that.   
  
"Tai, what's her name?" she asked him suddenly.   
  
"What?"   
  
"Quit playing innocent. I've known you two years and you've never mentioned anyone. I've never known you to go get stoned and shagged. I've never seen you with a girl, not even once. Do you have a girl at home or something?"   
  
"Why are you so insistent that I have a girl at all?" Tai was feeling annoyed.   
  
"I guess I just can't imagine you not having one. What's the big deal? It's like you're hiding her or something. Besides, why else do you get that dreamy look whenever Vince talks about his girlfriend?"   
  
"I don't have a girl and I don't EVER get a dreamy look on my face!" Tai felt totally disgusted—there was no way anyone should ever be able to describe his expressions as 'dreamy.' That was ridiculous!   
  
"Geesh. Chill. Don't jump down my case. I just wondered what the big secret is."   
  
"Siduri, have a good weekend. I'll see you on Monday." Tai was bristling. Dreamy? How absurd could you get?   
  
He stormed down the sidewalk. What was with that girl—practically confessing her love then accusing him of having a girl? What kind of girl did that make her? ARG!   
  
A cat ran across the sidewalk and Tai jumped so he didn't step on its tail. Then he saw a few daisies lining someone's sidewalk. They were short and yellow centers—some with red petals, others the traditional white. Relena loved those flowers. She thought they were happy.   
  
Tai stood and looked at them for a few minutes and a smile spread across his face. He wondered if she ever remembered him or thought about that day. It was a nice day.   
  
Then his eyes widened. Crap...what was he DOING?   
  
A/N Guess what guys? I'm actually home again! I love my bedroom--it's all mine. I have to share a room with two others and an apartment with five others--and now my room is aaaall mine. And I have internet access! Yea! Okay, I'm going to start trying to pump these suckers out and hopefully have this story finished by the end of the summer. I hope you enjoy and thanks soooooooooooooo much for the review! Toodles! Tygerlilee =;= 


	19. Shots of Night, Slivers of Fate

A/N Thanks to one of my anonymous reviewers for pointing out my spelling and grammar mistakes. And to answer their question—what's a Beta reader? Just kidding! But one of my sisters reads my stuff for me—believe it or not what you read is way better than what she reads—she always laughs at my spelling. Tygerlilee goes off to pout And she's my little sister too…but not that little. _Sniffle, sniffle My_ baby's all grown up! She's legally an adult now! Well, she's not a whole heck of a lot younger than me either. ANYWAY (wow, I chased that rabbit to death), I'll try to do better on that and thanks again for telling me!

Yah, and LF, I'm not surprised that my writing is changing. I have to admit I'm pretty tired. I'm probably doing too much so my brain's fried. But I'll try to do the best I can—sorry if it's not up to your standard.

But I hope you guys enjoy this chapter—warning—it's a little angsty. Okay, it's a lot angsty. But it'll get happier! But this fic is getting pretty serious so I changed the genra for it.

And you guys are going to love the next chapter after this one….

Chapter Nineteen

Shots of Night, Slivers of Fate  
  


Relena stepped out of the shower and pulled her blue towel around her tightly. She still had a couple hours till the dinner and then the conference. After that, there would be a press conference, the never-ending gyre of politics.

She wiped away the slowly clumping mist on the mirror away and looked at herself briefly—round little face, big blue eyes, long, and currently very wet hair twisting itself into bundles around her head like a bad dread-lock job. She sighed at her reflection and picked up her toothbrush off of the tiny hotel-room cupboard. The other day she'd been on the subway and someone came up to her and asked her if she was lost, if she needed help finding her parents. Yes, her face was round but for heavens sake! Surely she looked old enough to be on a subway by herself!

Actually, she'd asked her mother about that, and she told her it all depended on how she dressed. Casual jeans or overalls and a t-shirt with double braids did make her look very young, she'd told her tenderly. Relena had laughed at that—her mother was always trying to be so delicate about everything, so careful and polite.

She opened the door and a wave of cool air hit her in the face, clearing out her air passages. It felt wonderful, for about two minutes and then she was shivering. But after ten minutes with the hairdryer, she was boiling again.

Zechs had warned her that things were…delicate politically here right now. She'd have to be very cautious and subtle in dealing with the people here. As she carefully lined her eyes, she heard one of the guards at her door cough lightly. It was a bit unnerving to have them around her at all times, but after being kidnapped all those years ago, she was willing to suffer with them. And she was growing accustomed to them. Surprising what one grows to accept and find normal.

Her skirt suit lay carefully pressed on the bed, forest green knee length skirt and long sleeved jacket with a white shirt—not her favorite, but she liked it. Her favorite gray and pink one had been dirty when she was about to leave and she didn't have time to have it cleaned.

Quickly she shimmied into it and twisted her hair into a tight knot at the base of her neck, a few forever bangs falling out. She turned to look in the mirror. Hah, she told the face looking back, not so young looking now…but she did look a bit like a school marm with her hair so tight. But she didn't really care; it would loosen throughout the night.

On the stairs to the ballroom, she had a chance to watch everyone without being noticed. The governor was a happy, soft looking man. He would be having problems with law enforcement with a nature such as that. And his assistants looked a little too self-assured, one was off in the corner flirting with some girl. She suppressed the urge to roll her eyes.

"Having fun?" Relena jumped but calmed quickly as a familiar voice chuckled and placed a firm hand on her shoulder. She turned to hug her brother.

"How are you?"

"Well. How about you? Discover anything interesting from your perch?"

Relena smiled and stepped back. "Not really. Care to escort me down?"

Zechs took her arm and they walked into the lions' den…

And three hours later, Relena wished he could just escort her out again. It was almost time for the press conference and all she succeeded in doing was arguing with every single person in the room, and she so prided herself on her patience! It was infuriating.

They wouldn't listen to a word she said; they just blindly assumed that all was right in the area and there was nothing to worry about. _Then why did you morons request a visit with me?_ She kept asking herself. Either they were stupid or just odd.

"I just don't see any problems with the factories. They are honest people working for honest pay," one man was saying.

"Hold on a second! Factories? Who mentioned factories?" Relena asked sharply. There was a palatable silence and then Relena felt her mouth drop in shock as something slammed into her, knocking her to the ground, then she heard a loud noise—loud was all she could describe it as.

Then things started happening very fast. Someone screamed and Relena laid there listening to pandemonium completely nonplussed as to what happened.

Someone was calling her, but she was having trouble focusing, everything was getting hazy. "Relena!" That same voice yelled, pulling her face towards the source. It was him, with long blond hair…Milliardo….why did he seem so far away. Human arms couldn't be _that_ long.

"Relena! Can you hear me?"

She nodded slowly. He waved his fingers in front of her eyes and she followed them slowly. She could neither think nor move. Everything felt very still but very fast at the same time, like a strobe light on a disco ball.

He picked her up like a small child, cradling her to his chest, and fled from the room. She was pretty sure he was running because the exit signs that lined the ceiling seemed a blur; she only recognized the color—or was it her own eyes playing games...

A van pulled out in front of them and the door opened, several uniformed men yelled at Milliardo and he climbed in, still holding her. Once seated, he pulled her coat off and unbuttoned her shirt. She wanted to ask him what in the world he thought he was doing but all that came out as an indistinct murmur. She felt something wet come up with the words and put her hands up to her mouth. At the same time she looked at her darkened, sticky fingers, she saw Milliardo's face, pale and sweating profusely. Then her head became unbelievably heavy and Milliardo's face darkened to nothing.  
  


"How's she doing back there?" the driver yelled back at Zechs. But he was still staring at his sister, bleeding and unconscious. One of the other soldiers yelled, "She needs a doctor fast!"

The driver picked up the speed a little more; he was already pushing a hundred. Then Zechs's own skills kicked in. He unfroze his mind and she was just another fallen man on the battle field. He looked carefully at her wounds—two gun shots, one to the right chest and the other in the thigh, both could be critical, especially if the latter had shattered her femur. She had thrown up blood, which was proof that one bullet had hit a lung—that was bad. Her thigh wasn't bleeding yet so it must have missed all major arteries and veins. He thanked God, if there was one, for that.

They got to the hospital and a doctor with an emergency crew was waiting for them—one of the men must have called. Zechs wasn't sure how smart that was--in case the enemy intercepted the call.

The doors flew open and ten pairs of hands reached for his little sister. He watched her being wheeled away, so pale and small. Then it occurred to him he was being left behind. He jumped out and grabbed her hand desperately and yelled at the doctor, "You've got to keep her some place very private. No one can know that she's here!"

The physician nodded solemnly as they wheeled her into an operating room and Zechs was forced to leave her, watching her disappear through the sterile white swinging doors.

He turned and sank onto the floor of the dusty hospital and rested his hands on his knees. What in heavens name was he going to do?  
  


Tai sat in the dusty pub with Emi and Vince. Emi downed another shot and let it slam on to the counter. "Anover!" he slurred.

"I think that's enough vodka for you…" Vince told him, a bit tipsy himself, pulling the tiny empty glass away from his hand.

Tai just rested his chin on his arms and stared ahead at the shelves of booze behind the bar. It always amazed him how much money people would waste on such things—anything that wasn't necessary. Drinking isn't necessary, smoking isn't, pretty frilly curtains aren't, and a pair of shoes to go with each silly dress isn't either….

"It's not so bad though…we're still alive," Tai finally said.

Emi laughed. "Yes, but you have not vitnessed the vrath of mine fam-ily," Emi told him waving a shaky finger at him and stifling a hiccup. "I vill be…vhat is the vord for it? Vere you are tied up and pulled…"

"Drawn and quartered," Vince supplied.

"YES! DRAVN and QUVATERED! THAT is vhat I vill be!!!"

"Okay, chill out with the 'w's—they're wiving mwe a headawcke," Vince teased. Emi glared and reached for the glass the bartender handed him and brought it to his mouth, daring one of his friends to stop him.

"It was just a test," Vince muttered softly looking at the bottom of his own mug, where there was only a bit of amber liquid left, and foam on the sides drizzling down in streaks. "Why do stupid pieces of paper have to matter so much?" he asked, draining the last drops.

"Because we write down what we know on those pieces of paper and if we don't know enough we could kill someone," Tai told him curtly. Vince chuckled and consequently choked on his last bit of beer.

"You didn't do so bad though, so you can't talk."

"But I've got a girl all mad at me."

There was a loud thump beside Vince and they both looked over to see Emi passed out on the floor. "Well, at least we know he won't try to drive home," he said sarcastically, then continued, "What girl are you talking about?"

"Siduri confessed her love to me right after the exam last week." Tai wasn't entirely sure if he should be sharing this with anyone but it felt appropriate. It had been on his mind all week and he hadn't been able to talk much to Donny lately because of work and it was different with Huy now because he was so far away and involved in his own life—Tai had always thought his life was complicated, but it was nothing to Huy's married life. Moreover, since they'd just gotten their scores today and he'd done well and both of them had done very poorly, he thought it might make them feel better to see he had problems too.

Vince let his glass fall to the counter. "You're kidding me, right? I mean…it's, it's…Siduri! She's not female or something!"

"Well, apparently she is after all." He still had his chin on his elbows. Vince shook his head and rubbed his temples.

"What did you tell her?"

"That I wasn't interested in a relationship."

"Is that true?"

"Yes."

"Not with anyone?"

"Not with anyone."

"Are you honestly sure?"

"Honestly."

"Honestly, truly?"

"Vince, quit it. Let's get Emi home. I'm tired."

Vince grinned not completely innocently and stood up carefully. Tai decided to make sure most of Emi's weight was on him and not his tipsy friend. It took them ten minutes to walk shakily to Vince's car and Tai quickly took the keys. He was not about to let Vince drive. After handing Emi over to his roommates and dropping Vince off, he turned to go home and jacked up the volume as high as it would go on the radio. He didn't want to hear about it. Then the news came on and he groaned. He'd have to listen to this report all over again, and get all worried about Relena all over again and not be able to get any information from Donny about it. He'd called Duo up, but he didn't know anything, and it was killing him inside. Not even Emi and Vince had completely distracted him.

Three days ago she'd been on one of the colonies trying to help the new leadership reform a few legislations, but there had been a shooting and Relena was missing. Several people claimed to have seen her get shot, but there were no security cameras to confirm anything besides eyewitness accounts—someone had jacked into the security system and put the tapes on repeat, preventing any recording from taking place.

But he couldn't think about that…not now.

Too quickly he was home and, yet again, the apartment was black. The little old lady upstairs was asleep too so it was silent, except the occasional yowl from one of her many cats probably attacking one of the purple flowers of her vibrant carpet. He flopped down on the couch and flipped on the TV to a movie channel. He didn't care what was on, just as long as it was mind numbing. He didn't want the blackness to seep into him too much further.

At first, when the phone rang, he didn't realized what the sound was, but then it dawned on him and he jumped up to get it, turning down the TV a little. Who would call at three in the morning?

"Hello?" he asked gruffly.

"Tai?"

"Z…" he started but was quickly interrupted.

"Don't say my name. Just in case."

"Okay."

"I've got some cargo here. Do you think you could take care of it for me for a while?"

Tai thought a minute. His brain was a little slow right now. "I could do that."

"I'll be there tomorrow, about this same time."

"Sure." And he hung up. Tai put the phone down again and laid back on the couch, his head suspended in air off the end. He stretched his arms over his head all the way to the floor. Looking at the room upside down was interesting, a new perspective.

And she was alive.  
  


Wufei was not in the mood to hassle with these stupid kids. But it was almost time to let them leave him for the day. Be still his heart….

He walked with them to the mess hall and watched them cram down their food—he'd been extra hard on them today, cranking up the thermostat to 100 degrees Fahrenheit, sending them on fifteen goat-trails, military style lifting. He'd been surprised when one guy did 140 pounds in the military lift—thus they'd worked up an appetite. He had found a few decent pilots among them, but he wasn't sure about their character and that was just as important, if not more so. And it would be nice to get back to real work on the project, and maybe Heero had given them another installation of the program—Trowa had taken over scanning Donny the past few days. But he wouldn't be liking the pressure from all the spy work they were all helping with.

A soft voice sounded at his ear, jarring him from his musings and he turned to see one of his newbies crouching down and looking very nervous.

"What is it?"

"Sir….Juliano is missing sir."

"What?" Juliano…Juliano…oh yah! That oddly aggressive girl…

"Juliano, sir, she's been missing since we practiced earlier today sir."

Wufei narrowed his eyes. "And where do you think might be a good place to start looking for her, Private?"

The young man looked intensely uncomfortable but with Wufei's glares he crumbled. "You might look in the girl's locker room, sir."

"Thank you." He watched as the young man snuck off and Wufei wondered what that girl had gotten herself into. But it must be a conspiracy among the men, or else the private wouldn't have been so nervous. And military peers were not easy on tattle-tails.

Finishing the rest of his meal quickly, he left the men and walked back to the training room. The closer he got the more quickly he walked as an eerie feeling grew inside of him till he got to the actual locker room stairs going down under ground and he began to run. He'd seen things happened to girls in the army before and though they may be weak which is why those things happened to them, it didn't mean they deserved it.

The room was just like the boys locker room but smaller. It looked like a dank dungeon just like the other one, smelling faintly sweet of marijuana. Wufei had always wondered about that….

It looked normal except an open locker. He walked over and saw several articles of women's clothing, including a moldering set of army sweats. There was a picture wedged into the metal in the back of a locker, a little girl sitting on a woman's lap, both of which covered in ribbons and braided hair in bright, flowery dresses and hibiscus flowers around their necks.

There was a change in the noises of the room. It wasn't an odd noise but just a variant from the norm. Wufei jumped and listened carefully, attempting to determine the origin. There was a metal wire cage full of equipment in the middle of the room which was blocking him from the source.

He walked over to it and looked around but didn't see anything, except the two bathroom stalls in the corner. He still didn't see anything but decided to check the stalls anyway.

A rat ran across the floor and he almost jumped. What the heck was wrong with him? Why was he so jumpy all of a sudden, eh? It was just a girls' locker room. But a second later he had his gun out anyway, convincing himself that it was completely normal to have a gun out.

He kicked the first door in and--surprise, surprise--there was nothing there. Stepping over to the second one he kicked and at the same time something flew out from it, lunging at him with a banshee-like yell. He stepped back out of the way just in time to see Juliano clad in a very ripped army tank top, half of her chest exposed and bleeding, and her underwear holding a long rusty piece of metal. She was shaking with fury and terror, her eyes huge and pupils dilated to an impossibly large diameter; her shoulders were down and squared. She looked like a she-bear defending her cubs. When she saw who it was, her already very dilated eyes widened even more (Wufei hadn't thought that possible) and her face collapsed along with her body.

Wufei reached forward and caught her before she hit the hard concrete floor and at the same time heard a piece of the ceiling tile land in the toilet, its lining frame gone. He turned over the girl and saw that her face was beaten too—a black eye and a large rip in the skin around her mouth. One shoulder was twisted back in an impossible position and her legs were coated in scabbed over cuts. She'd been hiding in here for a long time.

Water, he thought. Glancing over at the nearest sink he did a double-take. The mirror above it was cracked in a bulls-eye fashion, stained lightly with red.

She shook in his arms and didn't say anything. He was completely unprepared to deal with something like this so he did what he'd seen other mothers do with their injured children—it was all he could think of. He pulled her up into sitting position and held her tightly. She shook violently and then started to cry. Weeping was more like it for the tears fell so silently and he doubted such a girl was capable of true bawling.

"You're safe now. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you," he murmured.

He felt her cling to him harder and her lithe little body shook even more. So he sat there more and rubbed her back till she had cried herself into exhaustion and fell asleep in his arms. Now he was in a sticky position.

Wufei wormed his way from her arms and found a clean towel from the showers. He warily wrapped it around her and picked her up then carried her up to the infirmary.  
  


Tai sat in his "sparkling" clean room fidgeting and pacing. It was two thirty now and Relena should be here soon. He'd spent the rest of his sleepless night cleaning the apartment and most especially his room. Insomnia was the pits but how could he sleep with all this going on? With harboring Relena, working undercover, and school on top of it all--this was the first time in his life he'd ever admitted to himself that he might be just a little suicidal.

She'd have to stay hidden in there whenever Donny was home. He'd gone to the library and picked out about ten random books for her. He wasn't entirely sure what she liked to read so he picked out one from each genre and hoped she liked at least one of them.

He tried to open a book and study but it just wasn't working, he couldn't concentrate and it was so frustrating. Time was smiting him. And he'd had his first day of rotations today—he'd gotten lost in the hospital of all things. He felt utterly ridiculous. And then he spaced out and forgot how to lock a wheel chair down. Of all the retarded things for him to do! He'd been doing it since he was eighteen for crying out loud! It wasn't like it was complicated or anything.

His little bedroom was not serving him well enough so he migrated into the living room and paced some more. Then he pulled out his laptop and tried to work on the OS more for Zechs. He had a disc to give directly to him when he dropped off Relena, but maybe he could work some more on it. Then the TV went on and he paced till he figured he'd better stop so as to not wear a ring in the carpet.

Finally, some very dim headlights shined through the tiny basement windows near the ceiling and Tai jumped up and ran to the door. As he climbed up the stairs and man stood at the top holding a duffle bag. Tai nodded to him and he looked behind the man to see another man holding what looked like a tent bag. He waved them down the stairs and saw that the man with the duffle was Trowa, and the other was Zechs, his hair tied back and tucked into his jacket to be less recognizable, and he held Relena.

"Where do I put her?"

Tai lead them down the hall to his room. "Donny's been at work a ton lately thanks to you guys so she'll be able to freely roam the apartment so long as she stays quiet—the landlady upstairs might hear her."

"That shouldn't be too much of an issue anyway. Part of the reason we wanted you to take care of her is because out of the people we trust and could take her, you know the most about medicine."

Tai's eyes flew to Relena and she looked her over much more carefully.

"I brought her medical chart—copied it." Zechs handed it to Tai who glanced over it quickly and raised an eyebrow.

"She was lucky."

"You have no idea," Trowa said quietly.

"Then you can take care of her medical needs too?"

"Yah, I can do that," Tai assured him as he handed him the disc. Zechs didn't ask any questions about it, he knew what it was and pocketed it.

Then Zechs nodded a sigh of relief. "We better go."

"Does she know that you were taking her here?" Tai asked quickly.

"We told her but we aren't sure how lucid she was at the time. She may not remember. You may want to tread lightly, if you know what I mean."

Tai nodded and the two left quickly. Then he turned back to look at the pale girl. It was just one thing after another. On the upside, he now had a beautiful bedroom ornament….  
  


Tai slept fitfully on the couch. Every squeak, every pitter-patter made him jump ten feet in the air. He was paranoid having Relena in the apartment and no gun to protect her with. Stupid habit—surely he could take care of her without a gun.

He flopped over on his back and stared at the ceiling. Funny how much things had changed—he was actually living without owning a gun and sleeping with it.

Donny didn't come home that night. Relena hadn't woken up and it was now Saturday which was just as well, it gave Tai an excuse to avoid Siduri. He'd managed to be on the opposite side of the hospital as her at all times, so the last thing he needed was to run into her in the library.

Tai went into his room that morning he bent down to pick something up when he felt eyes on him. He turned slowly to see Relena staring at him with glazed eyes.

Kneeling next to her, he put a hand on her forehead and turned her face to his. "Can you hear me?" he asked her softly.

She blinked twice before answering, her blue eyes sunken in. Her mouth felt like a dust-storm and tasted like rotting fish. "Tai?" She breathed too hard and gasped—since when did it hurt to breathe!

"Yah?"

"Where am I?" At least she could see now, not that there was much to see in the barren, sterile bedroom.

"In my apartment. My bedroom. Your brother dropped you off here. You'll be staying here till you are well enough to go home, okay?"

"You're taking care of me again," she smirked, and then sighed, resigning herself the situation. Why was everyone saving her—she was supposed to save them!

But he was smiling at her now and she couldn't help but feel just a little bit better. "How do you feel?"

"Groggy," she said after a moment of deliberation. "And thirsty."

"I'll go get you something," Tai told her and went to the kitchen. As he shut the door, she couldn't resist it, it just came out. "I missed you." But he didn't turn around.  
  


Relena put down her book. It was the fifth one she'd read in three days. It was driving her crazy being cooped up in Tai's little apartment. But it was better than the hospital and Tai was very accommodating. He'd bring her books and food and movies and newspapers. Anything she wanted. But she had to be careful when he wasn't around. If she limped into the living room to watch TV, for example, she wouldn't have a prayer of limping back into hiding if Donny came home. And unfortunately Tai pulled sixteen to twenty hour days.

She stretched and the regretted it because her side started hurting again.

But that wasn't the worst of it all. She couldn't even make it to the bathroom or take a shower without help. Not that he was actually physically scrubbing her down or anything, but he did have to carry her in there and wait for her to call him to carry her back. That was humiliating. She'd never appreciated being able to do those simple bodily functions on her own so much in her life.

And then there was the sound of him coming home. It was her favorite time of day.

He always opened the door quickly but shut it quietly and slowly so that if she was asleep she wouldn't be wakened, at least that was her favorite explanation. His steps were even but firm, a very distinctive walk. And then he would timidly peek into his room to see if she was awake. It was adorable.

Then he'd go through the ritual of bandage fixings, changing--all the fun stuff--and ask her if she wanted dinner.

He was always tired. She could see the lines around his eyes. But he was always nice and always ready to help her all he could. It made her love him that much more….darn it.

But then she had to fight too keep her temper because she was inactive and impatient and the world was falling apart at her finger tips and she wanted to DO something, anything. Instead she was stuck here, even if the scenery was nice from the tiny basement windows—lots of green grass and orange and red and yellow and brown trees. Soon the leaves would cover up the little window.

She was going to crack soon; she could feel it coming on faster and faster every day.  
  


He pulled out the little envelope Heero had slipped into his pocket while at his apartment. He looked it over and flipped it over in his hands before he popped it into the simulator.

He put on his helmet and narrowed his eyes to focus on the screen. A green grid popped into view with various icons in the corners. Tapping the touch screen, he selected the settings he wanted.

Immediately ships began to fly at him and he activated the controls. But it was like flying through silk—the program ran flawlessly and reacted instantaneously. It was unbelievable.

"Zechs!"

He jumped and pulled the helmet off. "Noin? What are you yelling at me for?"

"I've been calling you for the past ten minutes. But I guess you couldn't exactly hear me with that thing on. Wufei's just called. He said to tell you he'll be on the project again tomorrow."

"But he's training now."

"Well, it sounds like he's decided he's had enough of training."

Zechs nodded in resignation. Wufei was too stubborn. You could order him to do one thing and he'd walk his own way smirking behind him. "In the meantime, while I've got your attention, I was wondering if you interested in eating dinner tonight," she told him, massaging his shoulders from behind.

He shrugged and got up, reluctantly leaving the OS behind. He'd come back to it tonight.  
  


Sure enough the next morning Wufei was in his office but before he could ask a single question there was a huge crash.

"What is happening in here!" he yelled, leaning over the overhanging ledge that looked down on the construction.

Trowa and Quatre were running to the fighters. Quatre yelled up distractedly, "We've got it under control!" But then yelped as he accidentally ran into a metal pole.

Zechs glared at the scene for a few minutes but then was reminded of his meeting with Wufei when the subject in question coughed, clearing his throat. "I guess we'll leave it to them…" he muttered and reseated himself in the small control room he used as an office. "Why aren't you training to men?"

"Oh, I am. I still have one last lesson to give them, but that's not for a couple hours. I wanted to inform you that I coming back. And decided newbies aren't the way to go—looking at the records of tried and true soldiers will be a much better judge, I think."

"Your call. I'm delegating this to you."

"_Sir_?" Zechs couldn't help but be satisfied by the surprised look on Wufei's face.

"I said I'm letting you decide the other pilots. I've had enough of it and I need to work on other things. You're dismissed."

Wufei would have loved to wipe that smug smirk off of Zechs face, but he didn't have the energy right now.

He was just leaving when Quatre came in and flopped down in a chair. "We don't know what's wrong with them but something is acting up."

Wufei shrugged to no one in particular. This wasn't his jurisdiction. He walked purposefully down the white halls and turned the corner. The infirmary was just down the hall, and he felt a strange sense of duty to Juliano.

The infirmary door swung open and the nurse at the desk smiled at him. "She's still in the same room," she told him, indicating the direction for him to go. He nodded briskly and strode down the hall.

He knocked before pushing open the door. Juliano was sitting under the covers with a book in her hands. She glanced nonchalantly at him, then did a double take and put the book down. "Sir?"

"How are you?" The skin around her eyes had matured to a brilliant shade of purple mottled with green; she had a butterfly bandage on her lip and her arm in a sling.

"I've been better." She grimaced.

He seated himself in the only chair there was in the typical boy style—legs wide apart and hands resting on his knees. "You want to tell me what happened with you and your little boyfriend?"

"I beg your pardon?" she asked, her face quickly turning an angry red.

"That kid you're always flirting with—what's his name again? I can't remember." Wufei knew he was being stupid, but it was getting a reaction out of her.

"I do NOT flirt—he's been pestering me this entire time. And when I wouldn't sneak out of the compound with him he attacked me. I'm not sure what he expected me to answer him when he sneaked up on me while I was changing in the girl's locker room—" her voice was growing louder with each syllable she uttered. "—and now you have the nerve to suggest that I…" she stopped and stuttered, evidently unable to articulate what he thought she was doing. She seemed to settle for something else. "He tried to RAPE ME!" she screamed. Her chest heaved as if she'd finished running a race.

Wufei continued to look at her calmly. "You know there'll have to be an investigation on this."

"Isn't my body enough proof for you pig-headed sons of-?"

"Watch your language with superiors, Juliano. Respect," he snapped.

"Then be worthy of it!" Then she shut her mouth and stared hard at her hands. She looked like she was having trouble swallowing a few other choice words she had in mind to call him.

Wufei sighed. "If you want to get anywhere in life, you're going to have to learn to control that temper." Then he grinned. "But I won't deny I find it refreshing." She looked up at him in shock. "You'll get through this in the end."

He got up to leave. He found out what he'd come for. Then he noticed the book on her lap. "What's that?"

"A book." He glared at her and she elaborated, reluctantly. "It's just some old college text book. I want to keep current with my major so I can go on to graduate school some time."

"What's your degree?"

"Physics and Aeronautical Engineering, double major—"

Wufei looked up, interested despite himself. "Are you any good?"

"Well, I think I'm excellent," she said smugly.

He nodded at her then left abruptly, leaving her to gape after him in confusion. On to see the newbies and deliver a lesson they'd never forget…  
  


Kiki flipped a lock of dark hair from her eyes and turned the page of her magazine. But politics were boring her.

She rested her hands in her lap and look out the window for a moment, just in time to see a bird fly by. Then they started shaking. She blinked down at them for a bit before her brain registered what they were doing; she grabbed one hand in the other and held it forcefully still.

She had to get out of this place.

Climbing out of bed, her wounds started aching again. Moving never hurt so much. She walked over to the little bathroom and stopped, stunned, in front of the mirror. She looked like Frankenstein's bride—no, Frankenstein's bride's dog. Better yet, Frankenstein's bride's dog's flea—okay, that was getting a bit much.

A terry-cloth bathrobe hung in the corner. She wrapped it around herself, and felt a little safer.

Cautiously, she looked both ways before completely opening the door. Sidling out and skulking by the hallway walls, she felt like a criminal sneaking out. But that wasn't right either. She wanted to be invisible.

No one took much notice of her as they strode past her, which she was thankful for.

But then a nurse called to her. "What are you doing out of bed?"

A lump formed in her throat—how come she couldn't talk? She talked to Chang okay…. She struggled for a minute before she could croak out, "Just out for a walk…"

The nurse gave her a look. "If you aren't back in ten minutes I'm coming for you."

Kiki nodded meekly, and a ripple through her mind asked, why are you so compliant? Nothing answered.

She exited her area in the infirmary and wandered aimlessly. A stretcher whizzed by so that she had to suck herself to the walk so as to not get run over by the three workers wheeling it by or by the squeaking wheels.

The face under the sheet had an oxygen mask, pallid and waxy. A small gasp escaped as she recognized him…he'd put her here in the first place.

She was numb, but she knew she had to get back to her room, _fast._

_"Hey, you must feel pretty special—the only girl in our group, future specials no less. You're going to get a lot of attention."_

_She didn't appreciate where his eyes roamed at all, and intended to let him know. "Maybe if I wanted that I'd like it, but since I'm here to work and learn not to sleep around, it's not my thing."_

_He raised one perfect eyebrow incredulously. "Well why else would a girl join if she didn't want-"_

_"Don't finish that sentence. I already think you're a moron, don't make me start wondering how you fit your head through that door too."_

Her stomach started to clench and unclench almost in a rhythmic fashion. It was not pleasant. She stumbled through the swinging white door, hunched over. That same nurse was behind the desk, watching her with hawk eyes. She forced herself into an upright position, but she wanted to scream in pain, and terror.

_"Nice move there, Juliano. You're getting pretty good at this _game_," he told her, looking over her shoulder at the simulator._

_"Whatever," she retorted tonelessly. _Why wasn't this moron leaving her alone, she was trying to concentrate!

_"Hey, I just paid you a compliment. Don't I deserve a thank you?" She refused to turn and see his expression. He leaned over and whispered in her ear, his breath caused little hairs that had escaped her pony-tail to tickle her ear. "Hey, this is kind of boring. I bet I can think of something we'd both enjoy…"_

_"Suck it you bastard," she whispered through gritted teeth._

_His look of fury was priceless—she saw it reflected in her monitor._

_"I wouldn't be so cocky if I were you…" Then Chang walked up to them and barked some insults._

There it was, just ahead, that little baby-blue blur with the gray dot off-center. She clawed at the knob. And pulled herself inside. She went to the bathroom and clung to the sink for a moment. But she didn't want to look up—then she saw it again. She saw him, in her eyes.

Cocky—too cocky—she deserved what she got….

_A door closed softly from the side. She whirled around. She was the only girl; she should be the only one here._

_"Who's there?" She felt a little foolish when no one answered, as she stood there in her skibbies. But she had to check._

_She had just turned around when she heard it._

_"Juliano…" it was whispered, almost inaudible. And it made every hair stand on end and every sense screamed out in fright._

_She revolved and reached behind her for her duffle bag, and more importantly, her knife that was in it._

_"Juliano, I know you want some of this. Come take a little trip with me." She jumped at the soft voice behind her, but she was terrified to look behind her. Her hand brushed something that was neither her locker nor its contents._

_"You know, you'll aim better if you turn around and look."_

_"Maybe I don't want to." She kept her voice strong. Did he think he could scare her? Well, even if he did, she'd never let him see. Not on his life._

_"Oh, but I can make you."_

_"You can't make me do anything." And before he could grab her she swung around kicking the bench behind her and ran for the door. _

_He chased after her and caught her by the ankles. She fell hard on the concrete floor, her chin throbbing along with her ankles. He yanked her down so that she was under him._

_"You know you were asking for this," he whispered in her ear, yanking at her shirt. "You're just a little army slut, that's the only reason they let girls in. They can't fight. They're only good for one thing..."_

_"Gee, and here I thought that's what you were here for—to keep your little friends busy," she spat back, kneeing him in the groin and rolling out from under him. She ran to a shower, looking for a weapon._

The sink…she pulled way from the bathroom, backing way, stumbling on her own feet. Then the bed caught her in the back, but she didn't notice. She kept blindly walking backwards.

I deserved it, what was I thinking that I could do this, I'm a girl. That's what Dad always said, I'm just a girl. He told Mom she was good for one thing. I'm just a girl and I can't do it so I must be asking for it….

_He seized her wrist and flung her at the sink. Her head cracked against the mirror, her back collided with the porcelain tub with a horrible crack, and then she bounced forward onto the floor. She grabbed her head, feeling a warm sticky fluid between her fingers and looked up so see his face right at hers. Her jaw dropped._

_"I don't understand why they let little weaklings like you in the army. You can't do any good. They should just let you loose on the town—you could serve the same purpose there, but at least you'd be making some good money."_

_She wanted to tell him how disgusting he was, but her mind was else where—the door._

I'm nothing.

I'm empty nothingness….

She buried her face in her hands and sank to the floor.

She had never been anything.  
  


Relena eased her leg off the bed. It was cramping again from lack of use and spurts of sudden walking. It hurt like blue blazes. But that was only when she wasn't struggling to breathe.

She worked her way slowly to the kitchen. Donny was out of town with work so she knew she was free to roam when Tai wasn't here.

But he said he'd be home early today, seven. She thought maybe it'd be nice if she made dinner for him. After all, he was hiding her and protecting her and feeding her and, well, a lot of other things.

The fridge was packed despite that only two lived in the apartment. Mostly because Donny had been doing a lot of binge beer drinking lately and he kept his supply in the fridge—cool at all times. Relena had heard Tai fussing at him for it the other night and threatening to throw his supply out. Luckily, Donny was a mellow drunk and didn't answer, at least not that she'd heard.

She found an old tomato and some peas and green pepper. In the pantry she found a small store of pasta. It wasn't such a hard thing to make angel hair. She'd made it with her Mom as a teenager, assuming she could still remember how to do it.

The stove warmed up fast and she carefully stirred the milk and water with the noodles—she didn't want to burn anything.

Turning for the plate of chopped chicken, her foot caught the edge of a stool and she tripped on her bad foot, and the right side of her body crashed into the counter. Pain tore through her and she bit back the scream as she fumbled to the floor.

There was no air, she didn't have any air, she couldn't get any air. Panic rose in her, but then she stopped and closed her eyes, willing the green to leave, she kept seeing green everywhere.

The boiling pan above her called her back to reality and she steadied herself, breathing carefully and slowly. In, out, in out…she had to do this on her own. She couldn't sit here and wait for Tai to come home and pick her up from the ground and figuratively kiss her boo-boos.

Placing a hand on the tile, she gritted her teeth and pushed up, pulling herself forward. Sweat poured down her face. She felt disgusting.

Halfway up, she started to fall and she grabbed on to the oven door—and crashed to the ground again as the oven opened.

She glared at the offending appliance. This was ridiculous. She was getting beaten up by kitchen equipment.

One more time, she chanted inwardly. She grabbed the counter and yanked up. Surprisingly, she didn't fall this time and smiled at herself, trying desperately to ignore the pain. She was sure when he changed the bandages he'd notice some extra bleeding. But that didn't matter. She got up all on her own. That was an accomplishment!

She was singing quietly to herself and giving her concoction a stir when the door opened above her. And his regular steps led him down the stairs.

"Relena, what are you doing out here? I wasn't home yet!"

"Don't worry. Donny's gone all weekend, you said so! And I was being quiet. And as much as I love your room, I was getting a little sick of it."

He sighed and stood behind her. "What are you doing?"

Her heart thumped faster and her mind's monologue scolded it. "Dinner. Are you hungry? I thought it might be nice for you to have a nice warm meal after pulling such a long day. You left at four—you must be exhausted."

"How are your ribs, your leg?" he inquired seriously, putting one hand to her ribs. She closed her eyes and sucked in a breath. "That painful?" He started to lift her shirt to check the bandages.

"Could you stop playing doctor for two minutes and at least give me a warning?" _That_ was unnerving…

"Sorry. Turn around." She did so after replacing the lid on the pot. "You're bleeding through. What happened?"

"I fell."

He grimaced. "Some fall. You were doing really well."

She attempted a shrug but it was kind of difficult with Tai hanging around her waist. At least she always wore shorts here; it made it easier for him to check her leg.

"And thanks."

"For what?"

"For thinking of me," Tai explained.


	20. Healing words: I love you?

Chapter Twenty

Healing words: I love you?  
  
PPPPPPPP

Sally was flipping through the charts on her desk when she came across another rape victim. But she stopped—no—almost rape victim, she corrected. Sally made it a point to talk to these girls personally—the emotional strain of such situations was often too much for these girls to handle. Boys had it even harder sometimes, she thought, because they were supposed to be tough and never cry. But that was always violent and strictly physical and somehow easier to cope with mentally, but not easy by any means. Yet these girls—they always seemed to blame themselves for the oddest things. It wasn't just a physical beating for them, it killed their spirits.

Getting up, she noted the room the girl was staying in. She knocked on the door firmly but there was no answer. Quietly, she opened the door and looked in. The girl wasn't in her bed. Sally walked in and looked around when she found her huddled on the floor in the miniature bathroom shaking.

"Kiki, Kiki honey, can you hear me?" she asked softly, gently touching her shoulder. The dark head bobbed and she shivered away from her touch. Sally dropped to her knees and tried to lift the girl's head.

But she backed up against the wall and gaped at her with frightened doe eyes. "Kiki? I'm Sally. I'm a doctor. I'm here to help you. Will you talk to me?" It was like conversing with a wall. The girl gave no sign that she had heard Sally. So she resorted to drastic measures.

The girl seemed so wasted at the moment that it wasn't very difficult for Sally to pick her up. Kiki didn't struggle against her at all as she put her back into bed. She got a plastic cup of water and tried to force it down Kiki's throat, but she wouldn't take it. So she gently shook her until she reacted. And react she did.

"WHO ARE YOU? WHAT THE…."

Sally interrupted her yelling and flailing arms. "Kiki, calm down."

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!!" she screamed throwing a roll of toilet paper in Sally's general direction.

"I'm here to help. I'm a doctor. My name is Sally," she pleaded with the girl. Kiki glared at her and plopped down heavily on the bed, her declaration of being a doctor seemed to calm her a bit.

"Fine then. What do you want?" Kiki spat angrily.

"I just want to talk to you. Is that alright?" she inquired delicately.

"Are you a shrink?" Kiki asked, cocking a suspicious eyebrow. It looked painful, to do that, or manipulate her face into any expression at all for that matter with all the bruising.

"I'm not a psychyatrist. But I'm the head of the infirmary and I like to visit all the patients here, even if they aren't specifically under my care. How are your wounds? Are they healing alright?"

"They're fine."

"Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"Do I look like I want to? No, I don't think that I do, if you don't mind," Kiki snapped as she edged her way around the room, as close to the wall as she could get, and as far away from Sally.

Sally shrugged. "Fair enough." Then she tried a different tactic. "I noticed that you are still a private. Are you going through basic training?"

"I was, yes. For the specials."

"Wow. You must be good, starting out there."

"No. They just allowed that as an option to begin with. I don't know why though. I thought you had to be in the force for a while for that."

"Well, we've lost quite a few soldiers as of late. I think they want to get as many people as highly trained as is humanly possible."

"The rumors are true then," the girl said flatly.

Sally smiled sadly. "I'm afraid that I think so. It's unfortunate, but that's life. So we must get through it. Who was your trainer?"

"What does it matter?" Kiki was turning apathetic now.

"Well, I might know him or her. I was just curious."

"Chang Wufei."

Sally laughed out loud and Kiki seemed to snap out of her melancholy a little. "What's so funny about that?"

"Well, let's just say that he and I have been very good friends for years and I know how he must have reacted to such an assignment. He's a bit of a lone wolf elitist. I believe at his first meeting with Lieutenant Noin, he lectured her on being a mere weak woman."

"He told Lieutenant Noin that?" Sally couldn't suppress her small smile. She was finally getting this girl to talk a little. She nodded in response to the question. "So if he's such a lone wolf, what does he normally do?"

"Oh, he's got…special talents. And he's only been working alone for a little while, at least he has since we quit being partners. We were a very…efficient partnership and Wufei resents being paired with anyone else, as if it's beneath him."

"Why did you guys get separated if you worked so well together?"

"Well, I got married and decided to have a family so I requested transfer. And Wufei's no doctor so he couldn't come with me." But Sally noticed the girl's curiosity about Wufei. Maybe she should stick to this topic, she seemed less volital somehow. She'd even worked her way to sitting down on her bed. "Has Wufei been notified that you are here?" She knew it was a dumb question, but it was useful for conversation.

Kiki nodded slowly. "He was the one who found me and brought me here."

"Has he talked to you at all about it?" Sally retreated to the back of the room and seated herself in a folding chair. A chip of beige paint flicked to the floor.

She shook her head.

"So, what are you going to do now?"

Kiki's mouth opened a little, then she closed it again. It was evident from her face that she hadn't thought of that at all.

"You can't hide here forever. You're going to have to go out there and face all those boys sooner or later. But no one would blame you if you quit."

Something crossed that pained bruised face and she screwed up her mouth into a tight little knot. "Never. I'd never give anyone the satisfaction of knowing that they beat me. Besides, it happened less than a week ago, so I'm not hiding. Get off my case," she snapped crossly. "I just don't know…."

"You don't know what?"

"I don't know if I can do anything anymore. I'm not good enough for it."

Now they were getting somewhere. "What aren't you good enough for?"

"Anything. I'm just a weak, undeserving…" Kiki stopped and looked up. She seemed to have remembered that she was confiding in an absolute stranger and it made her uncomfortable.

"Kiki, I want to be honest with you. I have dealt with several rape victims in my lifetime," Sally began.

Kiki sputtered at that.

"I know that you weren't actually raped but considering the similarities of the situation I think that you have to know something," Sally bulldozed on. "The kinds of men who will do something like this to a girl are the weak ones. Many times they are either drunk, high, otherwise incapacitated, have emotional hang-ups, or any combination of all of that. Don't let such scum get you down. Don't let them tell you what you are worth nor what you can and cannot do. Only you can decide that. So, on that note, I leave you to decide. Are you going to let some worthless spineless human being tear you down and force you into hiding? Or are you going to spit in his face and get up on your feet and move on. Only you can decide that. What you say is contradictory—you say you won't let people have the satisfaction on knowing that they got you down, yet you say you are worthless. Those two don't jive. I suggest you reconcile them and make something of yourself. Don't let your life stop here." Sally stopped and smiled at the girl. "Maybe I'll see you later Kiki." And she left, suppressing the erg to give the girl a large smirk. She was a tough cookie.  
  
PPPPPPPP

When Tai came home that day, Relena wasn't in the living room, which he was glad of. She usually was sprawled out on the couch. He would ask her what would have happened if he had been Donny. Oddly enough she would shrug and smile and say that she'd tell Donny that he, Tai, had been out partying brought her back.

But not today.

He put his stuff in the living room and decided he had better find her, make sure she hadn't taken it upon herself to take a little afternoon stroll.

In his room, she was writing furiously in a notebook.

"Relena…." he greeted softly.

She glanced up at him but continued in her work. "How was your day?" She said it almost vindictively.

"Fine. What's wrong?" he asked cautiously, coming to sit down on the edge of his bed.

She flung her pencil down and rubbed her forehead furiously, as if to shed it. She didn't know what was wrong. How the heck was she supposed to know! What did she know about anything? Apparently nothing! Because no one was listening to her and the world was falling apart and she couldn't do anything to stop it!

"Relena?"

"Don't Relena me!" she yelled and jumped up, but then fell over, a pain shooting up her injured leg. Then she grasped her side and stopped breathing for a second. She stared at him and his shocked eyes and melted as he reached down to pick her up off the floor. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell…it's just that…I don't know…I'm just…."

"Frustrated?"

"I don't know. The world's going crazy and I try so hard but all I seem to be doing is accelerating problems. If it wasn't against every fiber of my being I'd just take a back seat and watch it all. I watched the news and everything was…it was too much."

They were now sitting on her bed, but he hadn't let her go. She sat comfortably on his lap, head on his chest, both of his arms around her.

"Everything is so futile and I especially can't do anything right now, injured and all…it's so…"

"Frustrating?"

"You sure like that word, don't you?" But she grinned and looked up him. He was rubbing his hand up and down her back and it felt wonderful. She settled back down and wrapped both her arms around his neck. "I don't know sometimes what I'm even trying to accomplish. I get confused and everything looks the same after a while." A painful stitch was developing in her side so she shifted slightly.

"Peace and unity."

She laughed sardonically. "Except everyone has a different definition of those words. I think I myself have about fifty different definitions and the only real unity and peace I ever see is in personal homes, with families…" she trailed off and stared off at a spot on the wall.

"I feel peace right here. Don't you? Isn't the home a good start?"

She couldn't help but smile. He tried so hard to make her smile and happy, but at this point in their friendship he'd tried everything at least once before. Still, it was sweet.

"And I thank you for that," she murmured into his neck. His hands worked their way up to her neck and pulled her way from him so that he could see her face.

"Are you happy here with me? Honestly? You like just being here cooped up with me?"

What was he getting at? She narrowed her eyes. "Of course I like being here with you."

Then they were nose to nose, she could feel his warm breath on her cheek. She stared into his eyes for a moment—he didn't look away. It was a bit like staring down a tiger, except she wanted him to come at her, not leave her.

"Tai, w-" but she was cut off by his lips, as he closed the gap between them. It was slow and soft and hesitant as if he wasn't sure what to do, but she wasn't sure either, except that she didn't want it to end.

His hands moved up to her hair, holding her firmly, his mouth never leaving hers, only pulsing softly. They clung to each other closer and she felt forbidden emotions exploding and filling her to intoxication, clouding her mind. Memories and emotions she'd banished years ago flooded back and pulsed through her—random kindnesses and little smiles. They parted for a brief moment but her eyes stayed closed. She felt him trace her jaw delicately as they sat, breathing hard, until it was too painful to remain apart. This time she kissed him first and it was no little innocent kiss. Her arms created a vice around his neck as she sealed him to her.

And she remembered all the pains of her many realizations and partings, and now this overshadowed it all. Loving familiar hands held her and traced her shoulder blades, trailing down her spine, and she lost herself completely. Her mind was vague and open and she kept repeating to herself in a sluggish muttering inner voice, _unbelievable, unbelievable, unbelievable, unbelievable_…. Then she began to cry.

He pulled away and she cried harder. Feeling ridiculous, she tried to turn away and hide her face. The retarded boy had finally kissed her and she had to go and start bawling.

"What is it?" he asked her gently, wiping away a stray tear on her cheek. "Can you breathe?"

"Yes, I can breathe just fine—my ribs are fine. I just don't want to ever lose you again…" her voice faded to a whisper and she buried her face in his shoulder again. "I died a little each time I said goodbye to you, then when you…left…I never thought I could be whole again. Everyday I woke up and knew you were gone forever—I was sure there was nothing more painful. And then you came back and we had to say goodbye again. It about finished me to say goodbye to you at Huy and Kieko's wedding. I never dreamed anything could be more painful than thinking you were dead, but I was wrong. It was infinitely worse knowing that you were there, alive, wanting to be with me, and yet we couldn't be together. I don't ever want to say it again, Tai. Please don't make me or let me ever say goodbye again…everything's lonely and stupid without you…."

He caught her face in his hands and forced her to look at him. "You won't have to and I won't let you even if you try. Not now," he told her, holding her fiercely.  
  
PPPPPPPP

"Juliano?" Wufei asked, unceremoniously waltzing into the room. He was startled at the expression on her face. She looked like she was preparing to go to war with such a grimace on it.

"Yes?"

"You've passed training. I have an assignment for you. Get dressed and meet me in the hall."

She nodded and he turned to leave. After several minutes of standing imitation-flamingo style and waiting in the hallway, she came out in a crisp uniform and stood stiffly erect. "Direct me o captain…sir."

He kept his face expressionless but couldn't help commending her on her courage. She _was _a tough after all, he couldn't help but think, noting the obvious injuries on her face and neck. Sally had told him to be careful with her when she found out what Juliano's new assignment would be. But Juliano seemed fine to him.

They walked in silence to the elevator and then went down several floors. Once they entered the garage area he began to explain things to her.

"Juliano, I'm bringing you onto the biggest project of the century. Zechs Marquis is leading an attack on a small time soon to be big time group of colonists. We want you to help build the aircrafts that we'll be using. Are you in?"

She looked at him blankly for a moment. "It doesn't matter that I'm only a private?"

"No. We choose those with talents we need. Will you do it? I need to know and have you sign a confidentiality form before I take you any further."

"I already signed one!"

He cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Sir," she amended.

He nodded. "Yes, but it's an extra precaution. Something Zechs insists on." He noted her curious look at him at calling his superior by first name, or maybe it was suspicion about this extra precaution. Either way, she would be an excellent addition to the group if she was as good as she said she was. "What say you? You can refuse this kind of assignment, not a luxury allowed very often."

She nodded. "I'll do it."

"Then follow me." He led her down a hallway and unlocked a door on the right side. She avidly watched all the workers around her, running the controls from inside. While he got a form for her to sign, she went over to the window and looked down on a sleek, unpainted aircraft.

Her jaw dropped slightly as she gazed down on them. It was beautiful…

Wufei smirked at her absorption in the surroundings. "Pretty incredible, isn't it? Unfortunately, we can't get it off the ground. That's what we need you for. Sign here," he instructed, handing her a paper and pen. She put the paper to the window, never taking her eyes off the machine below her, and signed.

"I'll introduce you to some people you'll be working with…."

Somewhere in the back of her mind, something clicked. If she had choice of doing this, this probably wasn't an operation was exactly on record. Kiki almost changed her mind, but then glared inwardly at herself with determination and continued on.  
  
PPPPPPPPP

"So do you any of you remember how the spleen kills the red blood cells?" Vince asked. He sounded as worn out as the rest of them. Having the clinicals and still studying for a few actual classes was not an easy thing to balance. Well, Tai and Siduri were doing that. The other three had to study for another little while to retake the exams before they could start clinicals. They'd been in the library for five hours now. Compounded with Siduri not looking at him, it was becoming a tiring and awkward study session.

Emi sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Vey aren't killed by ve spleen, vey just go vere TO die."

Emily was twirling her glossy hair around her finger and pausing to nibble on her pen from time to time. "Here," she said, pressing her notes to him. "I need you to quiz me on this."

"'K. Just a second." He was just about to finish his sentence he was reading when Siduri piped up.

"Give it here. I'll do it if Mr. Inconciderate won't," she said slightly irritably.

He glanced up and saw Vince giving him a funny look. "Siduri, I was going to do it. I just needed to finish my sentence," he explained in what he hoped was a calm voice.

"Oh? So do you find what you're doing more important than Emily? Do you always put school before friends? Do you always insist on finishing everything?"

Tai felt his jaw dangle just a little and saw Emi's doing the same thing.

Emily quit twirling her hair and tried to step in and calm things. "I don't have a problem with waiting two seconds for his help. It's fine, Siduri," she said gently.

"You know, not everything's about you, slut!" she fumed and got up and stomped out.

"That was uncalled for," Emily sputtered. "What did I do?"

"Don't worry, Em," Vince patted her arm as he forced his face out of his "in shock" expression. "She's just been jilted," he said pointedly at Tai.

Emily seemed to catch on and Emi realized he'd been missing something. The three were all bearing down on Tai. "Fine, I'll go talk to her…"

This was not going to be fun. He grumbled to himself as he sauntered out of the library and down the hall looking for the fuming brunette. But he didn't have to look long—he heard her before he saw her. She was stomping in circles by a water fountain.

"Siduri?"

Her head snapped up as she acknowledged his voice and then she started to take off again, but not before he grabbed her arm. "Siduri, we need to talk."

"No we don't," she yanked her arm away from him, speaking so forcefully that she was spitting.

"Yes we do. You're making everyone in the group miserable and I doubt you're doing much better in clinicals. What's going on? This isn't about the other week is it? Because if it is I'm sorry—"

"Don't be egotistical," she snapped, effectively cutting him off. "This is all about you, isn't it? You and your-"

It was his turn to cut her off. "Grow up Siduri," and he walked calmly back to the library leaving her to glare after him. But suddenly he heard her chase after him. Kindly, he stopped and waited for her to catch up with him.

"I was being a real cow in there, wasn't I?"

"Pretty much," he told her bluntly. She groaned.

"I'm sorry, I don't know. I'm just stressed and…embarrassed. You didn't tell any of them what…what I told you?"

Maybe it was a weakness, but Tai never ever lied. He couldn't do it. And in a case like this, it might be better if he could. "Vince knows, but he's the only one."

She sighed and kneaded her forehead. "Well, that's better than all of them knowing. I'm sorry. I'm making this all awkward and weird."

"Don't worry about it. Just chill out and come back in when you're ready. I don't think Emily can take much abuse."

"Yah…" Then he left her again. This time she was scrunched down on the floor looking at her feet intently. His head hurt and it was emotionally draining. So when he finally got to drive home, he felt nothing but relief and freedom. And he could think of Relena. That made him smile. It made him smile that he could make her smile. It was a wonderful feeling to know that you could help people like that, but she helped him to. After being alone for so long, and even though he now had a family which helped immensely, he'd still have a hole in his personal universe. But it didn't feel like such a gaping void anymore, more like a butterfly net. Parking on the side of the road, he checked his mailbox before unlocking to door and going in.

Junk, junk…he thought, flipping through the envelopes of ads. But there was one thing interesting—travel agency advertising cruses. That got him thinking….

Inside he could hear Relena in the kitchen. She'd recently taken to cooking. He told her not to, but she insisted on it explaining she never got to cook at home and she thought it was fun. They'd had a few interesting dishes, but for the most part she was pretty good at it.

But when he put the mail on the counter she had her mysterious "I'm-laughing-inside-at-something-that-you-have-no-clue-about" look plastered on her face. And it warmed him even more inside.

Nevertheless, he decided to humor her and asked, "What?"

"You were humming."

"I was not!" He cringed inside—there was no way he would ever, ever, ever in a million bazillion years be a hummer, one of those annoying people who always sang to themselves! They strolled through the Walmart parking lot as if they owned the world and hummed away giving smug looks to all the passers-by—never!

She was still grinning at him, but it was more for his expression. She took his disgruntled face in her hands, pushing his straggly hair from his eyes. "Don't be so sour. You're cuter when you smile!"

"I'm going to change out of these scrubs," he said shortly, leaving her smiling. Only then, with his back turned did he allow himself to smile. How could he not? When she was happy, so was he.

He pulled out a t-shirt and jeans to change into and thought back to his bright idea from before….

In the kitchen, Relena let out a little spurt of laughter even though she was completely alone now and felt a little foolish for it. But hearing him hum was so startling and funny at the same time! It warmed her insides.

She stopped and checked the bread sticks in the oven, then panicked and dropped everything to pull them out as quickly as she could. She could have burned them!

In her zeal she tripped on her own feet, but Tai caught her, having just come back. "Careful," he admonished her as he propped her in the upright position.

"You're just in time," she went on, ignoring his rebuke. "Dinner's ready."

It was kind of strange, she reflected looking at him eat across the table. She felt like an old married couple from the eighteen hundreds. But it was so comfortable, so normal. Man goes to work, woman stays home with the household. They have dinner together and watch the news (except that Tai had banished her from it for the past couple days because he thought it was bad for her mental health so they'd watched some other shows together the nights he was home).

She caught Tai smiling slyly at his plate. "What are you thinking?"

"You'll find out," he said evasively.

She pestered him about all through dinner but he just kept smiling so she assumed she wasn't annoying him. Thus she plunged on. It was fun! He insisted on doing the dishes and she sat on the couch, watching him and talking intermittently. Then he joined her and she curled up to him as he flicked on the television.

And her eyes grew heavy, head beneath his chin and one of her hands enveloped in one of his, the other curled under her own chin.  
  
PPPPPPPPPPPP

Tai yawned at eight o'clock. He was exhausted, but luckily so was Relena. She was already asleep.

He picked her up carefully and laid her on his bed, awkwardly tucking her in. She hadn't been wearing any shoes for him to take off so that made it easier. He got his own sleeping attire and shut the door quietly behind him.

Laying down on the couch he grinned again. Tomorrow as going to be fun. His first Saturday off from school and the hospital….

At five, his alarm went off and he got up and showered and dressed quickly as quietly as he could. Relena was still asleep. He rummaged through the refrigerator and put together a plastic bag full of sandwiches, broccoli, apples, and juice.

Just as he shut the door he heard Relena sleepily walk in. "What, (yawn) are you doing so early? (yawn)"

He smiled and kissed her on the forehead. "Get dressed. We're taking a trip."

She looked nonplussed, but limped back to the bedroom to get dressed. Ten minutes later she was wrapped up in a large beach towel as he hauled her up the stairs and put her in his back seat, still covered. Then he put the plastic bags on the floor of the back seat.

He turned on the radio and she called from the back, "Can I sit up yet?"

"No. Keep covered. I'll tell you when."

"This is kind of silly, Tai. A talking beach towel?"

"Would you rather be back in the apartment?"

"No."

"Then don't complain," he scolded lightly.

"My ribs are cramping up!"

"So," he changed the subject. "About those petunias my old lady planted the other day, they sure are pretty…."

She allowed a laugh since he couldn't see her smile.

"Well, I do happen to think they're pretty," he told her mock innocently.

"I like violets better. Or irises!" Then Relena went into raptures describing all of her favorite flowers. And Tai felt himself grow a little sad. She was such a normal little girl at heart—cooking, flowers--excepting giggling fits. She laughed once in a while, but mostly she did a lot of quiet smiling, like she was always thinking of something else that was far away. But he liked that about her—he couldn't have tolerated it if she was a giggler. Instead, she was quiet, beautiful, serious Relena.

He pulled onto the highway and told her she could get up if she wanted to. She sat up slowly and buckled her seatbelt, looking avidly around her. Her face was bright as if she'd never seen anything like it. It was beautiful. One of the last of the autumn sunrises gleamed on everything, transforming it into a golden haze. The deciduous trees were aglow with their bright fall makeover—bright yellow maples, brilliant reds and oranges colored the hillsides. For miles around, it was all she could see.

"Where are we going?" she asked after a moment of awed silence.

"A little lake about a half-hour away. They have nice picnic spots and a friend of mine has a canoe stowed away. It thought we'd take a day up there."

"Can you afford to miss time from studying?"

He nodded. "Don't worry about that. I've got it all taken care of."

"You always do…"

Some time later he parked in front of a little cabin hidden away behind some conifers. He opened the door for her as she unbuckled her seatbelt, much to her surprise, and helped her out. They limped up to the cabin and Tai reached under a loose board on the top step, pulling out a key. Walking to the back of the house by the lake's shore, he unlocked a little shed and rummaged around while Relena stood at the shore gazing at the lake before her. The sun was almost completely up so the clouds were lined with delicate pink and everything looked misty and clean.

A noise behind her startled her back into reality and she turned to see Tai dragging a canoe to the shoreline. He walked back to the trunk and pulled out a couple plastic bags and put them in the middle of the canoe.

"Come on! Let's go!" he called to her, smiling. She grinned back and limped over to him as fast as she dared to. She didn't want to risk bleeding all over the place.

He instructed her to sit in the front and he'd get in the back, so he could steer, he told her. She'd be the power. She looked at him as if he was nuts when the told her that, but he assured her that she'd be fine. They didn't need that much power, they weren't running any races.

"It'll be your fault if I start bleeding again!"

"You know I'd never risk that. Now let's go," and he pushed off the shore and hopped in.

The water was very clear and while they were still in the relatively shallow areas she could see clear to the bottom. "Did you ever wonder what it would be like to be a sea creature?"

"Nope," he told her, flipping his paddle to the other side so that they turned.

She sighed. "You don't wonder very much, do you?"

"Nope. I know."

She turned to give him a silly look. He was so unbelievably confident sometimes.

They had rowed around the lake nearly an hour when Tai guided them down a rather deep little creek to a small island. "My friend showed a group of us this place last year. Nice, huh?"

"It's amazing…."

Tai beached the canoe and helped Relena out. They wandered around the small island; it was only a hundred yards or so long. He pulled out beach towels and they lay on the rocky, grassy beach and watched the sun rise higher into the sky. Eventually they had their lunch and intermittently waded, attempted several sand castles with the rocky sparse sand (the castles all failed miserably), and wandered.

But it was bliss for Relena to be out of the confines of the apartment, and in such a beautiful place. As she lay on her back on her towel she glanced over at Tai. He was reading and she could see his eyes starting to droop a little. She smiled and pulled herself over, worming her way under his arm. He didn't even look up as he lifted his arm and pulled her to his side. She lay her head on his chest and fell asleep almost instantly.

When she woke again, it was beginning to grow dark. Tai was staring up at the sky where there stars were beginning to come out. She pulled herself up and planted a little kiss on his relaxed mouth and waited for his response. He blinked and grinned at her. "You're awake."

"Uh-huh. What do we do now?"

"I can think of a few things." He grinned and held her face in a firm kiss. Then turned back over to stare at the sky. "Orion's already out…."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "The old stargazing trick huh?"

"What stargazing trick?"

"That's one of the typical tricks guys use to get girls to a private place to make out."

"Well, I wasn't thinking that, but now that you mention it…."  
  
PPPPPPPPPPPPP

When they got home, the answering machine was beeping at him loudly.

"You have fifteen new messages," its robotic voice told him.

He began to play them as he put various things away. Relena headed off to take the shower she'd missed that morning.

"Tai—I'm just reminding you about our study group today," Vince's voice said. Then Siduri yelled about ten times "Where are you?!?!" He shrugged and deleted them, one by one. And smiled to no one in particular. Feeling a little foolish, Tai shook himself from his little reverie and put the beach towels in his dirty clothes pile.

"Anybody home?" Donny called.

Tai shot up like a rocket and hit his head on the underside of an open upper cupboard door where he'd been putting a knife away. "Yah."

"Oh, I thought you were in the shower."

"No I…maybe I left the water on…." He hurried out nervously leaving Donny to look at him oddly.

He knocked softly on the bathroom door in his bedroom. Relena turned off the water and yelled out, "What?" He cringed.

"Donny's home."

There was dead silence so he turned and left, finding Donny standing in his bedroom doorway.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing. How was work? You're home early…." He rambled, trying to grab Donny's arm and direct him away from the room.

"You aren't putting me off. You've got a girl in your shower."

"Don't be ridiculous!" Tai felt like a moron. He'd been too lax. He shouldn't have been so careless.

Suddenly Relena limped out with one of his t-shirts on, the dirty one he'd left on the floor that morning….

"Oh hi honey," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing his cheek. The towel rode up so that the bandages on her thigh were obvious. This must have looked so ridiculously fake that it could have passed for soap opera material. She winked at Donny and grinned the fakest grin he'd ever seen. Her hair was wet and falling everywhere. She could almost pass for a street-side slut right now. But just maybe, with a LOT of luck, Donny would fall for it. Not everyone knew very well what Relena Darlian looked like. Not enough to recognize her in such attire.

"Ms. Darlian?"

Nope—crap.

"Tai, what's going on?" Donny asked. Relena had let go of him and was limping away, grunting with effort.

"Well, I tried!" she said cheerfully shrugging her thin shoulders.

"I'm hiding Relena until she's well enough to move easily on her own," Tai explained as Relena fished around on the floor for a duffle bag and pulled out some clothes.

"This is insane. Why are you charged with taking care of her? Marquis actually put her in your care?" Donny asked, flabbergasted.

"Yes."

"Tai and I have known each other since we were fifteen. Milliardo knows and respects him. And Tai knows a fair amount about medicine. My brother thought he would be the best for the job," Relena explained from behind the closed bathroom door.

"We all thought you were dead, Ms Darlian!" Donny told her in an awed voice, rather loudly since he had to communicate through a closed door.

"Well, I'm not. Surprise, surprise. And please call me Relena!" She came out in her usual, shorts and an oversized t-shirt.

Donny was shaking his head in disbelief. "Man, you must have been in deep, really deep in the Eve Wars to get in with this kind of stuff."

"You have no idea…" But Tai had no intention of reliving any of it for his friend.

Donny seemed to have had enough because shortly after that he got up and left muttering, "I'm going to bed. My head hurts."

Relena sighed and sat down on the bed. "Well, now I can roam around more freely, can't I?"

Tai sighed in resignation and plopped down next to her. "I'm slipping if I allowed that to happen. What's wrong with me?" he asked himself, laying down on his back.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. You're not a soldier."

He looked up at her smiling face from between his interlaced fingers. That's right…he wasn't…this was so weird….  
  
PPPPPPPPP

Kiki sat down at her desk and pulled out the copies of the aircrafts she'd been given. She spread them out and held them down with various heavy objects she gathered from around the room. It was huge—this was going to take forever. The man who'd designed this, Quatre Winner, and from her understanding he had help from another man, was obviously brilliant. He'd done some incredible things, things which gave it better gas mileage and greater turning speeds at sharper angles and so forth. But something must be terribly wrong fundamentally with it for it to have such problems. How to find out what that was would be nearly impossible.

She scratched her forehead and mentally berated herself—that hurt. The bruises were still tender.

The workers around her were bustling around busily working on the smaller working parts. But this was why Chang had brought her here. She had to figure this out.

After three days of intense study and very little sleep, she still hadn't found it and her brain was tired. But she kept pushing herself. It was a worthwhile cause and it kept her mind off of other things….

A door closed quietly and she jumped. It was one in the morning, only two guards were still here—even Chang and Marquis had gone.

A young blond man came in. He was fairly short, clean shaven, and had a nice face, in that pretty-boyish way. His uniform was that of a private.

"Mind if I sit down?" he asked pleasantly.

She was a little nervous but told herself to quit being silly.

"Suit yourself," she told him.

He smiled such a genuine smile that Kiki couldn't help but relax, at the same time it made her nervous that he could do such a thing.

"You've been staring at that thing forever. Going blind yet?"

"No, but I've looked at it an infinite number of times and calculated so many things. It all looks the same now. It blends together and now it's nearly impossible for me to figure out what's wrong with this thing." She didn't know why she was actually airing her frustrations with this stranger but he seemed to not mind because he nodded kindly in understanding.

"That's why we had to find someone else to look at it. That's what happens when you work on something so long. You become numb to everything. But I actually came to tell you about something we noticed today, it might help you. We heard a high-pitched scraping noise coming from the left rear slat area."

She blinked down at the blueprint at had nearly fused with her desk. "High pitched?" Resting a hand on her chin, she looked hard at it some more. "What if…."

"It seems that that did help. Try to get some sleep tonight. You aren't much good if you kill yourself working, especially in your already injured state."

Something riveted through her. What made him think he could talk about that? Who told him what happened….

"Who are you anyway?" she asked sharply.

"Quatre Winner. I believe you are Kristina Juliano?"

"Kiki," she told him automatically.

"I'm usually just Quatre. Goodnight Ms Kiki." And he left.

She looked down at the complex drawing before her then in the direction the young man had just left. She utterly refused to believe that a millionaire colonist could be so young and do so much. It was inhuman, completely inhuman….

There were voices around her. It was a minute or two before she registered what they were saying.

"Shh…keep it down. This is probably the first time that girls slept since she got here!"

"What's wrong with her anyway? You seen all those bruises and stitches?"

"I heard she was attacked by some idiot kid in basic training."

"Yeesh…"

She turned over and wanted to hide her face, but then she'd squish one injury or another of hers and that hurt a lot.

"Sir!" she heard them chorus as a door opened. Couldn't they leave so she could gracefully leave without embarrassing herself or them?

"How long has she been here?" she heard Chang snap. Well, what was he doing here, she retorted, though silently.

"About three, maybe four days, sir," one of the men answered.

Chang must have gestured at them because then he snapped, "Well quit standing around! Get moving!"

There were several "Sir, yes sir!"s and the door opened and closed again. Someone settled down in the chair that Mr. Winner had occupied early that morning. She was terrified it was Chang.

"You going to keep pretending to be asleep or are you actually going to get up now?"

Crud. It was him.

There was no point in pretending with him though. So she sat up and tried to face him. "Good morning, sir."

"Good morning, Juliano. Have you forgotten where your bunk is located?"

She swallowed the smart remark her first instincts told her to make and answered curtly. "No sir."

"Then why do you insist on sleeping in here?"

"Because I wanted to figure this out as soon as possible, sir." She felt her face reddening. This was ridiculous. Why did this man always make her feel about three inches tall? Maybe it was something about Asians—but her dad hadn't been Asian….

"And you think killing yourself will help in this pursuit?" he snapped.

She blinked. Was he _concerned_ about her? "No sir."

"Then I suggest you get to your bunk Juliano."

"I will sir. But first I need to speak to someone who can implement what I've figured out."

"You know what's wrong?" She felt a ripple of her old self react to his surprised remark. Yes, she thought, I may have figured it out—what of it? Her inner voice was feeling very snotty today.

"Yes sir."

"Come on."

She gathered up several papers and the blueprint and got up and followed him out of the room and back up to the office they'd first entered upon her joining the project. But instead of talking to one of the technicians, they walked to the back of the room and Chang wrapped on the door.

A curt voice allowed them entry.

A relatively young man with very, very long and very, very blond hair sat behind a large oak desk. Zechs Marquis. He was even more intimidating in person than on TV or pictures. Four chairs were scattered around the room, and three of them were occupied. Mr. Winner sat smiling in one, and another two men about his age were also there. One had a very long braid and the other rather assertive bangs.

"Yes?" Marquis asked. There was definitely something in this man's manner that said, I'm in charge so don't try me.

"Juliano, have a seat," Chang told her from behind as he shut the door. She jumped imperceptibly at the noise. She was practically quivering with terror as she realized that these men were probably the source of the entire project. "Juliano just informed me that she thinks she might have found what the problem is," he explained for her. But he didn't sound as if he was mocking her as he did so. He was almost gentle….

"Let's see what you've found," Mr. Winner motioned for her to show her papers. She hesitated, not knowing where to spread out the papers, when Marquis scooted back and shoved several files out of the way. She nodded at him and lay the blueprint out with her notes down one side. Everyone but Chang gathered around her as she started to explain, but she didn't get very far before Winner and the other two men she didn't know took over having realized her suggestion. They talked with a familiarity that suggested years and years of working together, which seem utterly ridiculous, at least in Winner's case—how could he possibly have had that much to do with Marquis with his business?

She slipped out of the throng and sat down quietly in her chair again and watched them talking animatedly.

"Looks like you did well, Juliano," Chang said serenely from behind her.

"T-thank you, sir," she whispered back. Why was she still so scared? The other four hadn't noticed her.

"By the way," he said, squatting down beside her chair and motioned toward the men around Marquis' desk. "The blond is Quatre Winner," he told her unnecessarily, but she wasn't about to interrupt him. "He designed the ships. The man with the bangs," she silently laughed at his description, "Is Trowa Barton. He helped design it a little but mostly directs construction. And the braided one is Duo Maxwell, he supplies us with our materials and also assists in construction."

"What do you do?"

He grinned an almost playful grin. "I'll pilot one. I also pick the other pilots, train them, and lead the attack."

Something wasn't right…something was missing. She was quiet for a minute before she realized what it was. "So, do you just use an old OS? Surely they couldn't handle such advanced machinery. They just wouldn't react fast enough."

"We have someone else work on that." His face was oddly closed about his. This sounded like one of those deep secrets only the top dogs knew. Strange….

She jumped at hearing her name from the group at the desk. "Juliano," Marquis was addressing her. "Do you want to help work on this or would you prefer to take a break? As I understand it, you've spent quite a bit of time here…"

Good grief, did everyone know she'd spent the night here? Was it really that unusual? She thought these guys were the serious workers! But she wasn't feeling very well at the moment. She hated to admit her weakness, but there was no pretending it. And those blue eyes were penetrating her, there was no avoiding them. He saw everything. "I think I'd better go to my bunk for a bit…."

He nodded and smiled. Maxwell and Winner grinned at her, Barton gave her a small smile. She got up and left. It was several minutes before she realized that Change was following.

"If you don't mind my asking, sir, why are you accompanying me? Sir?" she asked hesitantly.

"Why, I want to make sure you don't faint in the hallway." He sounded almost playful. Kiki was grateful when they got to her door. "Rest up, Juliano. We've still got a lot of work for you." Then he turned heel and walked away.

She shook her head in confusion at him then went to bed. It was calling her name in an enchanted hypnotic kind of voice.  
  
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

"Where did you find that girl again, Wufei? She's sharp!" Duo was commenting later, as they set up for another test. Wufei was suited up and buckling himself into the ship. He was just going to hover for a minute to see if it worked. This would also be a chance to use Heero's OS. They were going to run him through a simulation battle. The first time he'd see it.

"She was in that group of kids I trained," he told Duo noncommittally.

"Is she a good pilot?"

"Decent, but not great by any means. Lock me in." Duo pulled down the top of the aircraft—they hadn't gotten around to automating it yet.

Wufei pulled his helmate on. "Zero, you there?" a voice called to him. It was strange being call that. But he was zero, for this model.

"This is zero."

"Are you ready?"

Wufei watched the controls around him light up. He flicked on his computer and scanned the screen. Nothing surprising in the OS yet. Subconsciously he was expecting some nasty surprise similar to the Zero system, or worse, Epyon. But he hadn't done any actual simulations of battles yet.

"Ready."

"Prepare for take off."

Wufei snorted. Some take off this was going to be. It was automatic for him now. Push this, do that, go here, go there. A minute later he was hovering in the trial room. He watched the heat sensors carefully. No overheating yet…that girl must have done it.

He heard cheering in his speakers and grinned as he landed. But now the real work could begin. They still had to finish this aircraft and build all the others.

"Prepare for battle," the voice told him.

The simulation…he'd almost forgotten. This could be interesting.

He watched all the little fake fights blip onto his screen. And he converted totally into the fighting mode. They flew faster and faster from all sides. He whipped around—if this piece of junk could maneuver as fast as this program allowed for, it'd be amazing!

Thirty minutes of fighting later, Wufei felt the adrenaline still pumping through his veins. He pulled a sneaky maneuver attaching a cable to two fighter jets and sent them crashing into each other. Then it turned off. Wufei fell forward, panting and heaving. He was exhausted.

Maybe he'd have to put the pilots he chose through a G's test—or else they'd be doing the funky chicken all over the place. This was incredible….

As he climbed out amongst all the cheering of the workers, he vaguely noticed Juliano in the crowd. She looked much better having rested. His legs were shaky—crazy what your brain could do to you. Duo ran forward and caught him before his knees collapsed. That'd be just great, go ahead and fall on your face Wufei….

But he couldn't get the stupid grin off his face. For the first time Wufei believed Zechs might actually pull this thing off….  
  
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

A/N I'm officially no longer a teenager! Yea! I'm a big fat wappin 20 years old now! I teach a class of 6 and 7 year olds once a week—they told me I'm old.

Sorry I took so long! But I still have them coming! I hope it was worth the wait. Thank you everyone for all the reviews! I really appreciate them.

NoneOfYourBwax: Tell your cousin I said "hi!" back.

KatsyKat: I like flattery—thanks so much! Maybe someday I can write my completely original ideas…who knows…. It would be nice, but we don't always get to do what we really want to do.

WolfCry17: I tried to email you to explain a little about the situation, but it got returned to me so I decided to answer here. Basically, there are terrorist type guys who feel Earth is the seat of all evil and want it gone. Not very creative nor complicated, but it's not really the entire point of the fic. I'm not very good at that kind of stuff. Hopefully it's believable.


	21. The Return

Chapter Twenty-One

The Return

Relena sat nervously tapping her fingers on the slightly padded armrest of the chair in the airport. People walked quickly by her, hurrying to their destinations. She had her tied back in a kerchief and thick non-prescription glasses and overalls with a red and black plaid shirt. No one would notice her nor associate her with Relena Darlian.

He'd be here any minute, aaaaaaany minute now... Pensively, she tapped her fingers deliberately slowly, but in double forte.

A warm hand closed over the top of her jittery ones and held them tightly, effectively stopping her nervous movements. She looked up him, the obvious question unasked.

"You're making me nervous," he said simply.

Then he took his hand away. She wished he'd put it back—she missed the comforting warmth and steadiness.

The station rattled a little telling her that another plane had just landed. She checked her watch—10:18. Milliardo would be here soon. Too soon.

For the millionth time, she silently cursed her brother for insisting on meeting instead of picking her up. Not only that, but was it really necessary to meet in a place with more security cameras than Lady Une's office? It wasn't like she was leaving the country.

She snuck a peek at the man beside her. Tai was looking straight ahead with an almost bored expression, as usual.

"Tai, is this going to be another goodbye like all the others?" she asked, finally voicing her concerns. Sure he'd said there wouldn't be anymore goodbyes like before, but they hadn't discussed keeping in touch at all. It'd been bothering her since Milliardo called to say that she needed to come back. Because now that she got along fine with using crutches only occasionally she could come back.

At first her companion didn't say anything. His face was turned away from hers so she couldn't be sure of his expression.

"How can it be?" His emphasis on the word "can" effectively conveyed his incredulity.

Relena bit her lip and linked an arm through one of his. "So you'll email me and call me?"

He nodded. "Naturally. And if you're ever in this area, you'll contact me?" He was still carefully not looking at her.

Fighting the urge to grab his face and make him look at her, she swallowed visibly, the lump in her throat moving up and down slightly.

"He's here." Relena jumped at Tai's words and looked over to see her brother walking quickly towards them. He had his old dark glasses on, casual street-clothes, and his hair tied back and stuffed down the back of his jacket, a hat on backwards to cover it up. Relena sighed and didn't laugh. He looked so silly. Sending someone to retrieve her was out of the question, naturally, but she did wish he'd just cut that hair, then he could blend in more easily.

"Tai," he acknowledged curtly. He reached out a hand and shook one of Tai's. Relena blinked twice at that—she could have sworn there was now something in Milliardo's hand, small, square, and dark... "Are you ready?" he asked, turning to Relena.

Glancing at Tai, the back of her throat suddenly stuck together, and peanut butter had nothing to do with it. But she nodded. They started to walk away but it just felt all wrong. This was not a way to say goodbye. She couldn't just walk away from Tai like this. No way.

Limping back to him, he caught her in his arms. "Bye," she said weakly, her arms tightly around his neck.

He grinned at her and patted her on the top of her head. "Bye. You look like a little puppy."

She smiled too, but was grateful for it. It helped to cover up her tears. She hugged him to the best of her ability considering her position and health. "Bye," she said again and kissed him very quickly and chastely on the cheek, her brother was watching after all.

He let her go and smiled again. "Have fun guys!" and he turned and walked away.

Inwardly Relena envied him. She knew he cared for her, yet he could force himself to act otherwise and walk away when needed. That was just so hard for her, and every fiber within her being was screaming, "THIS ISN'T RIGHT!"

Milliardo's hand on her shoulder woke her from her reverie. Time to work, and now, watching Tai's retreating back, she just might have the courage to keep going.  
  
WMWMWMWM

Tai pulled off his gloves. He's just helped to deliver a baby, his first one ever. It was the strangest thing he'd ever seen. It always baffled him to think of it, how a fully formed child could come from a human body. And even though there was pain, screaming, terror, a beautiful thing came out of the entire ordeal—a perfect child who would be going home. But there the sad tale picked up again. The woman, no child, would be going home alone carrying her baby in a newspaper to her government housing downtown to meet her parents, most likely drunk or drugged up, etc. The father would never see his baby girl. He didn't care enough. And another sixteen year old girl would have to scrape her way through the world dragging her daughter with her. Maybe she'd fight for something better for her daughter, or maybe she'd succumb to loneliness, depression, and alcohol.

He wiggled some life back into his fingers. The gloves had to be fairly tight or else they didn't do their job properly. But that made your hands all sweaty and gross. He made a face as he washed them, rubbing his fingers, trying to remember the women who did come in with their husbands and walked out arm in arm, laughing and smiling with their new family member. It did no good to dwell on these young unsupported mothers.

Then he headed down to the cafeteria with a text book. After getting his tray, he looked unsuccessfully for an empty table. Finally he settle on a somewhat empty table in the corner and sat down, pulled out his book and let himself fall into it, mentally of course. He had found himself thinking far too often about a certain blond. The apartment had seemed oddly lonely and empty without her these past few days. She had emailed him yesterday—she was still in town, catching up on word in the office. That was the worst part. She was so close to him, yet he couldn't see her, partly because he had not time to and vice versa, and partly because of all the trouble it could cause publicly, politically....

Text book, text book....the femoral artery branches at....

A tray slammed down next to him, jerking him from his mental block and down to physically collide with his book. Then he did a double take. "Siduri?"

"Hi," she said angrily.

"What's wrong?"

She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Oh? You don't know? Here, naive little me, I thought you were a nice truthful guy but you're just full of lies like all the others." She attacked her grilled cheese sandwich with a ferocity that made Tai nervous. It reminded him of hamsters eating their own young, far worse, in his opinion, than the hunting lion. Then before he could contemplate, yet again, how disturbing his internal monologues could be, he asked, "Um...this might be a stupid question, but just what did I lie about?"

"You told me you weren't interested in dating ANYONE, not just me. You know, if you aren't attracted to me, you should just be honest and say so. But I can't believe you'd choose that HAG over me! I must be a right awful terror." She fixed him with an icy glare. Well, here was someone not afraid to show their true emotions, he thought dryly.

Tai looked down at his book with confusion. This could mean only one thing because there was only one girl he'd spent any amount of time with at all, but she was most certainly NOT a hag. "Is this girl I'm supposedly seeing blond with blue eyes?"

"I don't know so much about her eyes but she was blond, with hideous glasses," she added viciously.

Tai nodded. "Sorry about that...it's kind of complicated."

"Sorry? Complicated? You didn't make it sound so complicated all those months ago!"

"Listen, she and I have been friends since we were fifteen. It's different."

"Oh, so you've had a girlfriend the whole time, even better!" she said sarcastically. "Some night when you're all lonely for her, why don't you give me a call because I'm obviously stupid enough to fall for it," she snapped. "You are so selfish. Just-get-over-yourself!" She punctuated every other word with a banging of her fork on the tray.

Tai rolled his eyes and grit his teeth in frustration. "Listen, I haven't been dating anyone and I haven't been interested in dating anyone. She's a long time friend that I've grown interested in but we aren't exactly together."

"Then what are you? You looked pretty friendly to me." She was beginning to resemble a rabid hyena—not quite foaming at the mouth but very nearly.

Tai could feel he was on dangerous ground. She sounded ready to jump on anything and everything he could say. He was fighting a losing battle--not that he wasn't familiar with losing battles. "I honestly don't know. But I know we aren't together in the full sense of the word. Please just chill, okay? Don't take this so personally," Tai pleaded. People were starting to stare at them and it made him uncomfortable. He felt much better when he blended in with people, unless it had to do with something he was more confident in, such as physical fights. He hated the emotional battles.

"How can I take it any way _but_ personally?" And she got up and stalked away.

Tai rubbed his forehead ferociously. It was easier being a soldier sometimes.

MWMWMWMWWM

"Hello!" a tall, lean man in a grey jumpsuit of a mechanic called out, his fingers laced through chain-link as he rattled the fence. "Oi! Over there!"

A disgruntled looking man sauntered over, greasy hair flattened to his face, wearing a grubby t-shirt and ripped jeans. "What do you want?"

"Someone called for me. They wanted me to look at something down here they said."

"Name?"

"Jenkins."

"Oh, right. I remember someone saying something about you. Come on." The man unlocked the gate and let the other come inside. "Follow me."

Jenkins shifted the heavy bag on his shoulder to the other one and walked in, tools clinking loudly. "What is it exactly that I'm supposed to be looking at? You got trouble with a truck down here? Anyway, ain't this a delivery station? What you got it locked down for?"

"We heard you used to be a mechanic for the White Fang," the man said ignoring his questions.

"That's right." Jenkins was looking around with obvious curiosity as they walked across the concrete to a warehouse in the corner. There were large gas tankers parked in a monstrous garage.

"So what do you think about the new government?" The man turned to face him as they climbed into a dark little elevator. It smelled of sweat and dust.

A dark look passed over Jenkins face, but he forced it away. "I don't really like it."

The man laughed. "Right...then we got a job for you and you'll be paid good if you keep your mouth shut. And let's just say that if you don't....well, we might have to detain you for a while then, a long while."

Jenkins looked startled. "Hey man...what're you pulling?" He backed up against the wall, looking nervous.

The man grinned as the elevator opened. "Did you or did you not tell Nanashi that you always hated that they'd outlawed mobile suits? That you missed working on them?"

Jenkins's jaw dropped as he looked down into a monstrous room at the ten mobile suits below. People were running around on dark platforms, bursts of lights illuminated welders dotting the room.

"Yah..." he said, almost reverently, his hand reaching down to his bag. There was a small click but the man wasn't looking at Jenkins and there was way too much noise for the click to be heard. As they walked around the room, Jenkins started to grin from ear to ear.

"Beauties, ain't they?" the man said, misunderstanding Jenkins grin.

"Yah, real beauties..."

MWMWMWMWMWM

When Zechs walked into the main engineers' office, Quatre jumped up. "I need to talk to you," Quatre said simply.

Zechs nodded and they walked out together down the hall, Quatre pulling out a pile of folders from his desk drawer before leaving. "Let's go to my office." He nodded to his secretary as they passed. His official office was much nicer than the makeshift one in the secret base with its solid bookshelves and cherry wood desk and, most importantly, large squishy chairs.

Once they were seated in the familiar room, Quatre began. "I just got news back from one of my guys."

"And..." Zechs let his sentence hang, trailing off. He crossed his legs impatiently.

"Those colonies on Venus side you wanted checked out...they're empty. I got a guy to break in and..." Quatre pulled out one of his folders, peeked in, pulled out another, then seeming satisfied, he handed it to Zechs.

Zechs' eyebrows knit together in confusion.

Quatre continued to explain. "Apparently those areas were rumored to house gang headquarters, and with all the graffiti it's easy to believe. But once we actually got a guy in, there was nothing."

Zechs' face was difficult to read. His hard blue eyes were staring hard at the pictures in his hand, but Quatre knew he wasn't really seeing them. He was thinking.

"That means they must be concentrating their forces in one area. And the only confirmed area we have is Mars side. I was starting to doubt their intelligence, spreading out their forces like that. I guess I'll have to take it all back. Move your guys Mars side. We're going to have to be more...stealthy about this. Good thing the shuttles are almost finished." Zechs leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling.

"Speaking of stealth, I was just thinking. We're going to have issues with Relena. We need to keep her far enough away that she won't find out what's going on and stop it. She supports the Preventors almost more than anyone else does but she won't like this and you know her. I hate tricking her, but I'm afraid we're going to have to." Quatre shifted in his chair.

"Don't worry about it. I'm already working on that."

"So you know what you're going to do?"

Zechs sighed. "I'm working on it."

They both jumped when there was a firm knock on the door. "Come in," Zechs called firmly.

Relena strode in dressed very properly in a navy pant suit, she even had her coat on still, but not with her usual ease. Her leg dragged behind her slightly. Quatre heard Zechs mutter, "Speak of the devil" before standing up and hugging his sister.

"I wasn't expecting you till later," he told her in his usual nondescript voice.

She nodded to Quatre before carrying on her conversation with her brother. "I just wanted to find out how everything's going with that rebel group you told me about. I didn't get a whole lot of news while incapacitated."

"You didn't get my emails?" Zechs asked politely.

"I did, but they were a bit too vague for my tastes. I want to know all the details." She was acting very professional, getting right to the point.

Zechs sighed and settle down further into his chair. "But there isn't a heck of a lot that I could tell you besides what I've already said."

"What about that retracting of my bill!"

"Which one?" he asked politely, chin rested delicately on his interlaced fingers.

"The one outlawing beam weaponry," Relena said crossly, folding her arms.

"Well, the Earth Sphere Representative decided that perhaps they could be useful after all, construction in space. They can be very precise cutters and there is so little that can be used in space."

"Are you actually supporting this?" Relena's jaw dropped. "Milliardo, how can you? It will just lead to mobile suits again! Everyone knows those two naturally go together! If you have weapons that big, you need something to handle them. Oh and then what, mobile suits will just be mindless robots used for construction. It can all be used for construction. There has to be a boundary somewhere!" she was almost pleading.

"I'm not a politician, Relena. I couldn't do much about it; you were gone and many of your supporters were not notified of the meeting so they were not able to come and voice their opinions. And the senators are tired and sick of arguing. They went with what was easiest." Zechs watched his sister carefully through his piercing blue eyes.

She closed her eyes and sighed, then unconsciously rubbed her side where she'd been shot. "I don't believe this. How can they be so blind!" she cried in exasperation.

There was a light tap on the door and Quatre began to think the entire base would waltz through that door.

"Come in," Zechs greeted the person with the exact same voice he'd used before. He didn't sound perturbed in the least, in fact, he seemed almost amused.

Juliano meekly poked her head in.

"I said come in," Zechs beckoned to her.

She walked in with her head held down and handed Zechs a file across the desk. "The report you requested, sir."

"Kiki?" Relena asked suddenly from behind girl. Zechs eyes narrowed slightly and Quatre jumped slightly.

The darker haired girl whirled around and looked at Relena with her jaw dropped. "Deirdre?" Then her shocked meek demeanor disappeared. "Wait a second...you lied to me! You lied to all of us! How could you have not told us who you are! You didn't even call us up after 'Ms. Darlian' came back! How could you!!" she berated fiercely, her fists clenched at her sides, knuckles white. "You of all people. DON'T YOU HAVE ANY CONSIDERATION AT ALL YOU TWO-TIMING LITTLE HYPOCRITICAL SPAWN OF CYBERNETIC ORGANISIMS!"

"Well, I..." Relena was looking uncomfortable. "I was kind of doing that, going to college and all, to hide away. That would have ruined it all to tell everyone who I was, now wouldn't it." She looked down at her thumbs, carefully pushing them together then taping them.

"Typical," Kiki rolled her eyes and huffed. "Typical spoiled little girl logic."

"Oh, come on. Don't tell me you're going to get all mad about it for too long! I just can't believe you're here! How are you? I thought you were going to graduate school!"

Kiki's hands stuck to her hips as she glared at Relena. "Well, maybe if I didn't think my friend was a hypocritical liar I would have felt like talking to her, but as it stands...." But Relena looked so mournful, sheepishly digging a toe into the carpet, not looking up, she felt herself give way.

Glancing up at Kiki, there was a gleam in her eyes that Relena did not like. "I'll forgive you on one condition--you and Tai hooked up yet?"

Quatre felt his eyes widening. Zechs looked partly amused, partly angry.

"Er...not really..." Relena was blushing wildly for some reason. "Maybe we can get together and talk about it? Do you think?"

Kiki cocked an eyebrow impossibly high but nodded. "You mean where your big brother's not listening? This better be good," she declared, an obvious warning in her voice. With one last huffy look, Kiki stomped out.

Relena was looking awkwardly at her feet.

"And what was that about?" her brother queried.

"Kiki was my roommate in college. She's had a rough life. I don't think she handles lies very well, even the necessary ones."

"Well, who does?"

"Point taken," Relena muttered meekly.

"Miss Darlian, disobeying common knowledge rules of courtesy for a higher purpose?" Zechs said rhetorically, irony dripping from his voice. "Didn't you tell them who you were after you came back?" Zechs asked, surprised.

"Of course I did! I emailed them all and said I was sorry and they all answered except Kiki. They were very angry at first but then calmed down. I still hear from my other roommates once in a while, all except Kiki. Just get me that report, please," and she got up and left too, her face still flushed.

Zechs grinned at Quatre. "I think we've just found the solution to our problem with Relena...."

MWMWMWMWM

Tai pushed print and sighed to himself. Done. Just then, someone knocked on the door. He jumped up and walked to the door only to have several bags thrust into his arms. "Hi, Kieko," he greeted his sister-in-law.

"Take those down for me? There's a doll...."

Tai rolled his eyes and walked back down the stairs. "Man! That was a raunchy flight! My shoulders are sore!" he brother was complaining, rotating an arm around.

Tai turned to grin at him. "Long time no see."

Huy cackled manically, then walked to his brother with his arms wide open. "Missed ya," he said in his brother's ear, hugging him roughly.

Tai nodded and clapped him on the back.

"Well now, let's see what's on the tube," Huy said letting go of his brother and reaching for the remote.

"Huy Iwasato! Don't you dare! We just got here and we're here to see Tai! Get off that couch right now!!" Kieko lectured.

"Don't worry. I'll have him off his butt soon. We're going to see Duo shortly—Duo, Hilde, and their hoard," Tai reassured him and went to check on his printing job. "How's the thesis going?" he called from his bedroom.

"Eh..." he heard his brother answer. Than meant he hadn't started on is yet and hadn't admitted it to Kieko.

"He's almost done!" Kieko yelled cheerfully. Tai was glad he was in the back room because he snorted obviously. Nearly three years of marriage and she still hadn't figured her husband out yet.

He flipped through the pages and was satisfied. Putting it in a manila folder, he picked up his car keys and jacket and glanced at his watch. "We better get going—"

"Kinda early ain't it?" Huy asked from the couch. Kieko was settled next to him, her head comfortably on his shoulder.

"I need to make a stop and drop off this paper on the way."

Huy nodded and groaned before pushing himself off the couch. Then he turned and took his wife's hands and pulled her up as well.

Tai sat in the driver's seat, Kieko next to him and Huy in the back reaching over to fiddle with the radio.

"Hey! Sit back and put on your seatbelt!" Kieko scolded lightly.

"But I wanna listen..."

"Well you should have sat up front then!"

"But that would have been ungentlemanly."

Kieko bit down on her next retort and growled. "I hate it when he pulls that one on me—no answer for it," she told Tai. "What station do you want?" she sighed.

"Um, I dunno. That's why I was flipping through."

"Must you be so complicated-"

"Well-"

"So right now the trees are really pretty, spring coming and all," Tai cut them off.

Husband and wife stopped and started laughing. "Good to see you haven't changed too much Tai," Huy said, bonking his brother on the head as they turned into parking lot in front of an office building.

They all climbed out. "Small campus," Kieko commented.

"Well, it's a small school." They got on the elevator and Tai punch the number for the fifth floor.

"Oh, we wanted to tell you something," Huy said. Tai could hear barely contained excitement in his voice. "We're pregnant!"

Tai started and stared at his brother. Kieko was busy whapping him on the head. "What's this 'we' thing? I'm the one up-chucking every morning!"

"Yah, but I have to listen to it and smell it!"

"Eww! That's disgusting but no worse than you-"

"So I guess you guys are pretty excited," Tai comment cutting them off again. He wasn't particularly interested in hearing about Kieko's body fluids nor Huy's various disgusting habits. The doors opened as the elevator dinged at them.

"We're ecstatic!" Kieko supplied. Tai noticed Huy was keeping quiet as she said "we" herself, but just barely. They were holding hands now and Kieko was swinging their hands back and forth.

He turned down the hall to turn in his paper in his professor's box leaving them to walked slowing down the hall and "ooh and aww!" at the display cases of award winning projects and research of the various professors.

"Tai?" he heard Siduri ask from way behind him—about Kieko and Huy's vicinity. He groaned inwardly. She'd think that he was lying again about the girl stuff. She sure didn't let go. She'd declared her interest months ago!

"Yes?" he heard Huy answer for him.

Quickly he found the right box and dropped his report into it and hurried back to find his guests before Huy got him into too much trouble. Then he heard a loud smack.

"What was that for?"

"You KNOW what that's for!" Siduri was screaming.

She must have been rearing back for another hit because Kieko interrupted angrily just as they came within Tai's sight after turning a corner.

"Don't touch my husband again!" Kieko was shaking with anger, standing in front of Huy.

"HUSBAND!" Siduri was really going at it now.

He quickly called out to them. "Siduri calm down!"

She stopped and blinked at him then back at Huy and pointed dumbly, her mouth moving soundlessly. "You're a twin?" she finally managed just as he arrived next to them.

"Yes. This is my brother Huy and his wife Kieko. Huy likes to play tricks on people like this, even though it's not very nice." Kieko was fuming at Siduri while wrapping a protective arm around his shoulders, on hand on his reddened cheek. Huy, despite the angry red handprint on his face, looked like he was trying to cover a smile.

"Well, you never tell me about any girls so when one comes and calls me Tai, now can I resist trying to find something out?" Huy asked innocently.

"Maybe by remembering that you're holding hands with your wife and that that might get me into trouble. Did you think that maybe the reason you haven't heard about girls from me is because there aren't any?" Tai asked sagely, not without sarcasm. He never used to be sarcastic, but it seemed to be coming out more and more as time passed. Must be Huy's influence, he decided quickly. That was the answer to everything, blame it on the evil twin.

Tai's reasoning seemed to make sense to Huy because he nodded and said quietly, "Good point." But then grinned evilly again. That expression seemed to be a fixture on his face, "So what's up with you two anyway?" he eyed Siduri. "You finally let go of R-"

"Are you guys in the same classes," Kieko interrupted quickly. Tai could have hugged her right then. But Siduri wasn't stupid, she'd gotten into medical school after all.

"So her name begins with an R does is?" she queried. She saw Tai's frustrated look and suddenly grinned. "Chill, why don't you? I'm just teasing you. Nice to meet you guys. See ya 'round Tai." She playfully punched him in the shoulder and walked off, humming. However, Tai wasn't fooled. He knew that she'd scream herself hoarse next time she saw him.

"That was weird," Huy whispered rather loudly. Kieko elbowed him as they went back to the car.

"Why'd you always have to play around like that! You confuse people!" she was lecturing on their way.

"But it's fun!"

"Oh for crying out loud! You get Tai in trouble, and you get slapped, and you get ME mad—and—wait—doesn't Duo live in space?" Kieko stopped mid thought, completely changing topics.

"He's been doing some work for the Preventors and it's been getting a bit extensive to fly back home and he doesn't like leaving his kids and wife for very long periods of time so they all moved down here."

"Oh...so how many kids do they have now?"

"Just four."

"Just...FOUR! How long have they been married? Good grief!"

"Well, first they had the twins, Kayleen and Kyle, then Hans, and finally Connor—he's the baby, only a month old."

"Wow," Kieko muttered, clutching at her own stomach.

They parked on the street in front of a little white house with a chain-link fence around it. "I guess that's to keep the little monsters in—" Huy commented on seeing it. Kieko swatted him as they went up to the door. But then they heard yelling and screaming coming from the back "DADDY! DON'T DANCE ON THE TRASH CAN!" a little voice yelled.

"Well, it sounds like a happy family..."

Tai sighed and prepared himself.

MWMWMWMWM

Wufei's voice hurt. He'd been yelling at the other pilots all day and he was hoarse now. And it friggin hurt! Disgruntled, he walked into the canteen and poured himself a cup of hot water, putting a tea bag in it. Then he went back to his office—AWAY from the project. Hey, he had to at least pretend to have other work going on for show. Lady Une, of course, knew all about the project but he had to keep everyone else in the dark about it. But he still worked on the project at his desk. Zechs trusted him to keep all revealing information hidden away from prying eyes. And the offices were so closed anyway, very little spying could go on. It had to be that way, so many top secret projects were going on at all times around the office. Nevertheless, Wufei always kept his work on a disk that he carried with him, not on the hard drive, and always took any hard copies of anything to do with the project back to headquarters before he'd leave at the end of the day.

He walked into his cubicle and thanked whatever deity was listening that he could get at least a little privacy, albeit a very small amount.

"Geesh, I was wondering when you'd get here!"

Or not....

"Hi Duo," Wufei grunted as he plopped down behind his desk. Then he noticed a new addition to his desk. He picked up the offending object, a dark wooden picture frame. "What's this?"

"Your family," Duo told him happily. He had seated himself on the floor next to the trash can and had a small crocheting project in his hands.

"Funny, this looks an awful lot like Hilde and you and the kids...."

Duo shrugged noncommittally. "My family is your family. Hey, I came to ask you about that OS."

Wufei hissed a warning at him. But Duo went on as if he hadn't noticed. "Because I'm going to see him tonight and I want to tell him about any changes if need be."

Wufei sipped at his hot tea. "I noticed a little glitch. When a fighter gets too far to the edge of the viewing cameras, it freezes for a few seconds. That needs to be cut down."

"Got it. Anything else? It hasn't induced any strange hallucinations, et cetera?"

Turning on his computer, he stared at the black start-up screen thoughtfully. "No. You're going to have to let me think on this. There was nothing too painfully obvious. Wait! It's sluggish in sending signals from the guns when ammo's gone. And we need some amount of auto-repair for battles."

"Right."

"I'll email you if I think of anything else."

"Okay. By the way, I gotta say, you've got some eye! You couldn't have gotten better pilots unless you'd picked us!"

Wufei smirked. Naturally, he though to himself. "Did you think I'd do anything less?"

"No, but you were so frustrated for a while and couldn't find anyone," Duo shrugged again. "But I just thought I'd say that. Anyway, see ya 'round!" And he hopped up.

Sighing, Wufei turned to his computer and typed in his access code just as the phone rang. He watched it load up as he answered it. "Chang," was all he said.

"I was just calling on behalf of Lt. Noin. She wanted to know if you'd talked to anyone about her project yet," a woman asked him. Probably the secretary.

Wufei mentally berated himself. She was in on the project too but she was handling Relena and keeping her away from it. This was about setting up a very strategically placed conference, keeping Relena as far away from the line of fire as possible. And since they'd singled out the locations of the Rebel bases FINALLY they could really get going on the actual strategy. Five shuttles, small, light, insanely fast yet strong—gundamium to be more specific. Two missiles would be on board. They'd find the central power sources of the bases and blow them to high heaven. Minimal casualties with larger transporters loaded with Preventors to capture all the trouble makers. Simple, right? As if....

"Tell her I'm working on it. I'll talk to Marquis about it later."

"Of course," and the woman hung up.

He turned back to his work when a voice behind him called his name. He growled. "WHAT?" and whipped around.

"Geesh, you don't have to bite my head off! I just came to drop off some blueprints," Juliano snapped back him. "What's your deal anyway?"

"Watch your mouth. I'm your superior," he glared at the insubordinate girl.

"But you aren't MY superior. Marquis is," she said smugly. Too smugly.

"I'm still higher ranked than you-"

"Does that give you the right to be a jerk to innocents?" she quipped.

"If they're weaker than me. But that's invalid because you aren't exactly innocent, now are you?"

Suddenly she grinned evilly and then wiped her face free of emotion. "Whatever. Have fun trying to read that," she indicated to the blueprint condescendingly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Only that someone with your...exquisite talents might have trouble interpreting it." She was imitating a Jane Austen novel very well. The sophisticated snobbery part, that is.

"I think I'm much more capable than you know."

She just shrugged and walked out. Wufei growled as she walked away. Just a couple months ago she'd been hiding in the infirmary, and now she was giving him lip? He was glad she was gone so she couldn't see his grin. It was kind of fun having someone to argue with again.

MWMWMWMWM

She pulled the brim of her hat further down as she slumped down in the bench with her "book". Zechs had humored her and emailed her more information. And this wasn't the kind of stuff that was on the news either. This was technical legislations on individual colonies that had been getting though the system without her to help stop it. But then again, with the separate governments, what else was to be expected?

Beam weaponry, individual armies—people didn't like there being one large government with everything. But it was so chaotic with all different governments. It was so much more organized this way! But then again, a central government couldn't see what individual areas needed....ARG!

He had better come soon or else she's rip all her hair out before he got here and then he wouldn't recognize her!

She licked her forefinger and flipped a couple pages, but had to hold on tight so that the breeze wouldn't blow them away. A few strands of hair escaped her braid but before she could push them away, she felt a warm hand do it for her.

Jumping three feet in the air, she looked up so see Tai smirking down at her. Then he plopped down on the bench beside her, his backpack at his feet. "Sorry I was a little late."

Relena grinned and began to put her folder away. "That's fine. I wasn't here long."

"What's that?" he asked, indicating to the said object.

"Just some stuff Milliardo gave me." She held it out to him and he flipped through. "Boring stuff, you know, the usual." She noticed him pause on a particular page but then he continued to flip through and handed it back to her.

Standing up, he declared in his "cheerful" voice, "Well, let's do something." He shouldered his pack again and she got up. They walked down the park pathway, ducks lazily squawking as they waddled by, toward the road. Relena let her hand brush against his and felt him hook his pinky around one of her fingers. She grinned ridiculously at the ground as they held onto each others' hands.

Suddenly, she wanted to start skipping.

Good heavens, the world she knew and loved was falling apart and she was giddy over hand holding....

MWMWMWM

Trowa sprinted through the main control room in the surveillance tower and pounded on Zechs' door once before throwing himself into the little makeshift office. "We got trouble."

Zechs looked up from what he was reading. "What is it?"

Trowa shut the door sharply behind him. "We just got this in from our guys on one of the target colonies," he handed Zechs a folder.

Trowa was also in charge of keeping track of two of the many spies they had situated near the rebels. One of his charges had sent him pictures.

"They've got mobile suits..."

"Exactly."

"We'd better put beam rifles on those ships."

"You think that will help?"

Zechs paused and looked up at Trowa. He would never show weakness to anyone, but he was confused. Something wasn't adding up.

"Okay. So basically we've got our rebels. They got themselves a few politicians, hence all the strange legislature we've been hearing of in the colonies. They are now firmly located in three colonies—within the core."

"But that's something else my guys seemed to have figured out—"Trowa indicated to a map of the colonies that had been sent to him. "See," he pointed at several areas, "We originally thought that they had spread themselves evenly out. Those little subway bombings we've been having over the past few years, here, here, and here—they were diversions to confuse us. We've checked out all those areas and we found the same thing."

"The rumored gang of—what was it they called themselves? Startroopers?"

"Or something else equally ridiculous."

Zechs continued. "So we found lots of local rumors, lots of graffiti names, and an abandoned warehouse."

Trowa nodded. "But—that guy you had finally found an actual base under a different name—"

"Nanashi—ironic." Zechs leaned back in his chair and glared at the ceiling in concentration.

Shrugging, Trowa continued. "Well, my guys found a base very similar to the ones your guys found. But—"he pointed to the map again, "Notice that they are very close together. Actually, there is only one colony between them. They got two civilian colonies and the one in between is a resource colony. Not one of Quatre's. It's run by another company."

"We'll have to get Quatre to look into that for us. He found this same stuff with the colonies he's been in charge of looking after."

"Quatre found the same thing? Great. But, if they are creating a strong hold...."

"They're directly in the trajectory between Mars and Earth...."

Trowa scratched his head. "I hadn't noticed that one."

"We'd better get Relena far away. And I don't think we can go with the original plan. We better figure out how extensive this grouping in. Stealth will be the better plan now. And we had better check out Mars. If they're planning something bigger than we've imagined then Mars would be the best location for it." Zechs was now leaning on his elbows on his desk staring at the pictures of humanoid mobile suits. This was turning into more of a nightmare every day.

"I'll see what we can do about beam rifles."

MWMWMWMWM

Relena sat down in the diner, and pretended to not notice the three men in dark uniforms that seated themselves in various places around the room.

A teenage waitress handed her a menu and ran off to get her some water while Relena sighed and put her menu down. Her eyes focused vaguely on the door, waiting for her dinner companion to arrive. She switched her crossed legs with a loud sticky noise—gotta love that red vinyl. The whole room was pretty colorful, come to think about it. The booths alternated in bright red, blue, green and yellow vinyl seats with concrete mosaic tables. A TV filled the silence with its tinny rattling.

Relena was drawing Tai's face on the table with a finger when Kiki came in. No longer in her uniform, she looked more relaxed but no less severe.

The huffy girl plopped down in front of Relena and glared at her. "So are you and Tai together or not?"

Relena burst out laughing and Kiki cracked a grin.

-MWM-

Relena and Kiki were sprawled out on the floor in Kiki's apartment, a bowl of popcorn next to them and the TV blaring.

"Oh come on! That's so fake! Cars don't ever do that, hasn't the director heard of gravity? Inertia?" Kiki was growling.

Relena was about to answer when her cell phone went off.

"Want me to pause it?"

"No, it'll only take a second."

"How do you know?" Kiki asked, her eyebrow cocked, as usual. Relena was sure it would get stuck there one day.

"I'll make sure of it myself." And Relena walked back into the only other actual room in the tiny apartment, Kiki's bedroom.

"Hello?"

"Hey Relena? How's everything going?" Marcus asked her.

"Fine. What's wrong? I'm kind of in the middle of something right now."

"Just chill. I was just making sure that you were okay. We had a bit of trouble at the office."

"What kind of trouble?" Relena asked, getting nervous.

"That breaking and entering and attempting burglary kind." Marcus sounded like he was discussing the stats of a golf tournament, not a crime.

"What would someone want to steal from us? A lamp? All our records are duplicates from others and most are published."

"Beats me. I'll let you go now...." He said. She could almost picture him shrugging his broad shoulders.

"Okay...." And Marcus cut his line.

Relena sat down on the edge of Kiki's bed. Something was funny. She could feel it. Marcus was calculated and serious about everything though he could relax at times, but only at scheduled times. He was worried about something and he wasn't telling her. And if he was worried about a tapped line, the least he could have done was hinted that. It wouldn't have been that difficult. It definitely smelled a little off.

But right now she was supposed to be having fun with Kiki, so she got up and went back to join Kiki only to find her friend curled into fetal position, shaking.

"Kiki? KIKI!" Relena screamed running to her friend's side. One of her body guards ran into the room to her side.

"What happened?" the man asked, concerned.

"I don't know!" she exclaimed desperately. "Kiki?" she gently shook her friend's shoulders.

Suddenly Kiki opened her eyes and sat bolt upright. She blinked and stared at the TV and then said, without taking her eyes off of it, "I'm fine. Nothing to worry about."

Relena and the bodyguard exchanged nervous glances but he left, but he was obviously going to be on high alert for a bit.

"Kiki, what happened?" she asked softly.

Kiki buried her face in her hands and Relena put her arms around her friend timidly. "You can't keep me out. I know you too well. What's wrong." But Kiki just pointed to the TV and leaned on Relena's shoulder, but just barely, as if fighting that action very hard.

"So are you going to just let him get away with it? In case you've forgotten that, that, THING raped me!" a girl on the television was screaming to a shell shocked and very pale older man.

Relena gasped and grabbed the remote, clicking it off. "It's okay," she murmured, rubbing Kiki's shoulders. "It's okay."

Suddenly Kiki flung her arms around Relena's waist and sobbed fit to break on Relena's knees. "He kept telling me it was my fault he did it to me, well tried to do it, that I deserved it. That's what Papa always said, so I just believed it. And now, I can't stop believing it....am I such a worthless person?" Kiki said beseechingly, looking up through her tears.

Relena couldn't believe this weeping puddle of a girl was her old roommate, but she pushed her surprise aside. "Kiki, you're a wonderful friend and capable in your work. You are most certainly NOT worthless."

"How would you know about work?" Normally Kiki would sound angry as she asked this, but now she sound needy and very much like she was begging for approval.

"My brother wouldn't have you working with him if he didn't think you were anything less than brilliant and that's saying something if he thinks you're good!" Relena told her cheerfully. "If you don't mind me asking....when did this happen?"

"During specials training," Kiki had buried her face again and was hiccupping intermittently. "One of the guys attacked me in the locker room but before he could get me, he knocked me too hard on the head and conked me out. I guess raping a sleeping girl is no fun." Normally, that kind of statement would cause Kiki to laugh sardonically, but she sobbed even more pitifully.

"Did anyone do anything about it?" Relena asked, aghast. Surely her brother would have done something had he known.

"My commander found me and took me to the infirmary, then beat the living daylights out of that...person...in front of the rest of my squad."

"Good!"

Then, much to Relena's surprise, Kiki rolled over and smiled. "It's funny—for a little guy Chang must have a ferocious right hook. That cretin who attacked me was no pixie."

"Chang Wufei?"

"You know him?" Kiki was still smiling.

"Yah. He's a friend of Tai's, and, I guess, mine."

Kiki sat up at this, apparently distracted from reliving the horror of a few months previous. "Really? Chang actually allows people to befriend him? And Tai? Of all people...I guess cactuses like to hang together." Kiki picked thoughtfully at a spot on her chin.

"Well," Relena shuffled uncomfortably, "It's not exactly what you'd call friendship. More like begrudging respect. They fought together in the war."

Kiki looked pensive. Then Relena realized something.

"You seemed awful cheerful once you were thinking about Wufei...." Relena trailed off suggestively.

Then the old Kiki was back. "Whatever. That arrogant prick? You've got to be kidding me."

MWMWMWMWMWM

Jenkins put down his wrench for a moment to wipe his forehead. It was two in the morning and most of the men were home, asleep. Just like he _should_ be. He glared at the screws in his hands. Screws the size of a 24 ounce paper cup.

He got up and headed towards the bathroom in the back corner and waved to a sleepy guard who was pacing the floor, trying to stay away.

Once in the bathroom, he picked the stall below the air vent. Climbing on the toilet, he pried it open and heaved himself up, closing it loosely behind him. Shimmying down the vents, he paused to get a good look into every room he passed.

Then he found it—Mr. Big Kahuna's office.

Popping the vent open, he lowered himself carefully, so as to not make any noise as he landed. Pulling on some clean gloves, he began to shuffle through the file cabinets that covered one wall.

After ten nerve-wracking minutes he pulled out another folder and nearly dropped it.

MWMWMWMWMWM

A/N

Thanks for all the birthday greetings! I feel so loved! And thanks for all the encouragement, etc!! You guys are awesome!

Also, thanks GM1—I really appreciate the commentary.

Chrikaru—I'm glad that the characters seem right. Sometimes it's so hard to write them all.

NoneOfYouBwax—tell your cousin I said "Woof! Woof!"...hmmm..this might be getting a tad bit silly.... I'm not so sure I would like to be a kid forever—I used to want that but now the I'm almost completely independent, I'm kind of liking it. But I'm glad you enjoy it still!

KatsyKat—beam beam THANKS!! )

Danielle—yah...I am a bit traditional, and with reason, I believe. But the question arises, "Is Relena traditional?"

Wing—I hope I can keep doing that good of a job...these next few chapters are going to be...difficult to write.

Icy Discordia—no review is stupid! This also gives me an idea of how many people are reading my story. Thanks!

Sonic Bloom—I made you cry? YAY!!!! Um...that sounds kind of mean, but hopefully you know what I mean, right?

THANK YOU AGAIN EVERYONE!!!


	22. Beginning of the End

Chapter Twenty-Two  
Beginning of the End

Jenkins was attempting to sleep, a hat over his face, feet propped up on a desk when his chair was almost kicked out from under him. He jumped up angrily, ready to throttle whoever had tried to unseat him.

It was one of the commanders, tall, dark, and stern. "What daja want? I was sleeping."

"No one sleeps. We need to get a move on. Your services are required below," the older man said stiffly.

"You ain't my boss!"

"Do you want to be paid or eliminated immediately?" the man asked.

Hmm...that didn't take a lot of thinking. "I'm goin', I'm goin'. You guys are crazy nutters. Don't you sleep or eat like normal humans?" he questioned irritably, rubbing his eyes with the back of a dirty navy sleeve.

"I thought they said you worked with Zechs Marquis."

It sounded rhetorical. "Good point," he muttered. "What's everyone so nervous for anyway?"

"We just got some news. Marquis is onto us."

Jenkins jumped. "What? That ain't good!"

The commander snorted as they walked to a monstrosity of metal and explosives. "No. It's not. Especially considering his...resources..."

Something beeped in Jenkins' pocket and he jumped again, but less visibly. His cell phone was on low battery. He held it out and showed the commander who nodded.

Off to the side in a corner away from running feet, Jenkins plugged it into an A/C adapter, to charge it up. He flipped it over and glanced around inconspicuously as he pulled a small disk from his pocket and plugged it into the battery opening and hit the power button. Then he rejoined the commander near the mobile suit.

MWMWMWMWM

Relena climbed off her plane and into the open arms of her mother and Celes.

"Relena! I've been so worried! Can you walk? Do you hurt?" her mother was fretting over her. But the strained pinched look in her face reminded Relena that she hadn't seen her mother since before she had been shot. Had it really been so long?

"I'm fine mother," she said as calmly as she could, trying to reassure her nervous mother.

"How was your flight?" Celes asked cheerfully as they made their way to the baggage claim. Immediately reporters began to swarm towards her like hornets.

"Ms Darlian—how are you feeling?"

"What do you think about the bill on..."

"Since you've been gone, has it been difficult to...."

Relena was grateful as her bodyguards stepped up and ushered her and her mother and Celes down the escalator. They were led outside to the limousine her mother had arrived in, the luggage gathered by a guard.

"So, anything new?" Celes asked, blowing a lock of hair from her face delicately. She always looked like a model somehow. Relena, feeling particularly frazzled and tired, wondered if she looked anything short of a troll.

"I saw Kiki."

"You did! Oh, I haven't heard from her since we left college! How is she?"

"Very angry with me," Relena sighed, rubbing her stiff leg.

"You know what would be so fun...if we all got together....you know?" She started jabbering away about all the fun things they could do.

But that just made Relena even more exhausted. "Celes, if you really want to, I'd love to do it, but I just don't have the time or energy to plan something right now. I've got..."

"Oh! Don't worry about a thing!" Celes interrupted her. "I'd be glad...oh, it'll be so fun to see everyone again!"

Relena sighed heavily as they stopped at a light and closed her eyes, willing the stress to ease away. Zechs was up to something, she knew it but had no clue as to what. There were whispers, rumors....it made her so uneasy. And with Tai living in the same town as the main Preventors' HQ, she couldn't stop worrying. She just hoped upon hope that Tai wouldn't get himself involved.

MWMWMWMWMWM

Zechs had received those blasted pictures several days ago and he couldn't get them out of his mind. Marcus had flown in and was helping him with his regular duties so that he didn't get too far behind. But Relena would become suspicious soon. Marcus had called her and reported a break in, so then she comes home, and he's gone on "business" that she didn't assign to him? Right...and he was Jack the Ripper...hmm...maybe that wasn't such a good analogy to make....

But soon it would be all over. There were launching in two hours. The shuttles were finally finished, and looked beautiful. He'd sent Duo home—he had a family to take care of. Zechs was not letting him go into space. And Quatre had gone back to his own work a day ago or so. Quatre was much more useful from where he was at the moment, watching the "rivals" and he was a fairly public figure. He had to be obviously innocent. But Trowa would be coming, as would Wufei.

He stood on the catwalk, watching the men run frantically to load up the shuttles. "Sir, we are almost finished loading," a lieutenant told him, looking down at a clipboard.

"Good. Everything in order?"

"Yes sir."

"Then get aboard." Then he called down, "Hurry it up! And suit up! We prepare for takeoff in thirty minutes!"

MWMWMWMWM

Relena was clearing off her desk and closing down her computer when there was a knock on the door. "Come in," she called as she limped over to her wall of filing cabinets.

"Aren't you supposed to have crutches?"

"Hi Marcus," she acknowledged the man behind her without looking back.

"Had a long day? You sound tired."

She put a few papers in the proper folders then turned to talk to the lanky man sitting on the edge of her desk, legs crossed, expression friendly and unreadable. "I am. I just finished catching up on PART of what I've missed. My brother is acting oddly. I'm trying to figure out what anyone would want to steal from my office. And I'm worried about a friend," she told him evasively. He watched her with interest as she limped around the room.

"You are one stubborn girl, you know that?"

"I believe I've been told that before, so yes, I know."

He nodded at her. "Well, I was just making sure you were actually going to go home tonight."

Relena brushed some hair out of her face as she loaded up her briefcase. "Yes and as a matter of fact, I'm actually going to have a social life tonight."

Marcus turned to look at her. "Oh?"

"Yes. I'm spending time with your girlfriend, so if you talk about going on a date I'll tattle on you," she teased. Somehow, since he'd started dating Celes, things had been easier between them. Maybe it was because he wasn't so testy any more, perhaps it was that she no longer feared he was going to try and hit on her. She had Celes to thank for his recent relaxing. The girl was so sweet and loving—she could make any man happy. The thing was, Celes had to find someone she wanted TO make happy.

"Well I'm glad," he told her sincerely as watched her start to limp out the door. "That you have a social life," he added.

"Are you coming? I've got to lock my office," she told him sternly.

He hopped off the desk and followed her out the room and took her bag from her.

"Thank you," she smiled at him. "And where have you been the past couple days? I expected to find you here with a full report of everything that's been going on. Yet, I get here, and what do I find? No Marcus."

He shrugged.

"So what do you think about all the recent legislature?" he asked conversationally as they walked down the hall. A little too conversationally. A body guard silently followed them. He'd been sitting outside of her office.

For a while Relena had been a little suspicious about Marcus. Not that she thought he was a spy or anything. He just seemed a little...dual purposed, but not so obviously and horribly treacherous. It felt like he was after the same thing as her in the long run—peace—but going about it in a different way. But then again, wasn't that spying? And now he completely avoided telling her where he'd been.

"What do you think I think? It bothers me, naturally." she said, a little shortly.

Marcus nodded. "Yah, but it seems a little odd to me, don't you think? Kind of planned, almost like someone's making it all happen. Beam weaponry, slowly but surely getting rid of central government...it just makes me wonder, that's all. It's like planned anarchy, if such a thing is possible. Sounds like an oxymoron, doesn't it?"

Relena forced her eyes to keep from narrowing. He was trying to find something out from her. Well, it wouldn't work. She wouldn't let it happen. "Planned? You think someone's trying for a, a, a...."

"Rebellion? Quit playing coy. You're a terrible liar. How you got to be a politician, I will never understand. You've noticed it, don't deny it," Marcus scolded lightly as he opened a door for her and led her to her car. The body guard was watching Marcus very carefully now.

"Well, what do you expect? You're trying to be all sneaky!"

"Sneaky? I work for you for heaven's sake! Why would I be sneaky?"

"Maybe if you were working for someone else too," she told him, her voice deadpan.

Marcus stopped walking and stared at her open mouthed. "What are you insinuating?" His voice was a low growl.

Relena sighed. She hated this. Marcus was her friend but something was funny about him. "Just that I've been wondering if maybe you have...a couple jobs."

"Like a spy?"

"I never said that!"

"But you sure are implying it! Relena, how can you possibly think I'd ever be a spy, and let you get hurt? Do think I was involved in that shooting too?" he snarled. He sure could get vicious fast. She hoped he was never like this around Celes, or maybe it would be better if he were so that Celes wouldn't get in over her head.

"NO! No Marcus! I don't think that at all! Please calm down!" she entreated, gesturing with her hands.

"Well, what else could you mean?" His face was red and rigid, jaw bones more pronounced than usual.

"I don't know! But don't you think that if I really thought you were a spy that I'd report it to someone?" she reasoned.

Marcus snorted. "I don't understand you," then he started walking again, but much faster than before. They reached her car and the moment her body guard and had her door unlocked. He threw her bag into the passenger seat. "Drive safely," he said shortly to the man in the dark suit standing on the driver's side.

"Marcus, please don't be mad!" she implored, tugging at his sleeve.

He stopped and forced his bunched shoulders to relax. "I just can't fathom how you can accuse me of such...of treason!"

"But I didn't. It's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?" he asked, half turning to look at her. His hands were deep in his pockets, elbows hanging out of the line of his body.

"I don't know," she said hopelessly.

"Goodnight Relena," he said walked away, presumably toward his own vehicle.

There was nothing more she could do so she climbed in her car, brooding.

Marcus slowed his walk as she drove away and pulled out his cell phone and dialed. "Zechs?" he asked as Zechs' voice picked up.

"Yes?"

"Relena thinks I'm a spy of sorts."

"Oh?"

"Yah. She doesn't think that I'm really evil or anything but she definitely things that something's wrong."

"Okay. You just lay off for a while. I can't use you to suggest her spending time with a certain person then. We'll have to do it another way."

"You have someone else?" Marcus was confused. He couldn't think of anyone else that could do the job.

"I have other connections, yes. Just don't worry about it for now."

"Right."

"And you won't be able to contact me for the next several hours, just so you know."

"I understand."

MWMWMWMWM

Relena limped to her bedroom. It was upstairs and her mom tried to move it downstairs, but Relena was too attached to her own bedroom. She nodded to a body guard at the door and he left.

She changed into baggy pants and a t-shirt and lay down, trying to forget everything. Celes and Kiki would be coming over soon...really soon and she needed to calm down.

After half an hour of lying around, she started to doze off. But just then she heard her bedroom door open and Celes's motherly voice.

"Oh, Relena! You look so tired! Are you okay!" she squealed as she rushed to her side.

"I'm fine," Relena protested groggily. Then she blinked, and nearly screamed. Hopping up and laughing and half crying, she ran to the other girls in her door way. "Maryanne, Amada, Ianthe!! Kiki! You're ALL here!"

The other girls hugged her back. "Celes told us that you and she were getting together so we thought we'd try and make the extra effort!"

Relena just grinned from ear to ear. "I'm sorry I couldn't come to your wedding Amada," she said suddenly.

"I understand. It's okay. You were kind of busy trying to save the world I'm sure..."

"I really am sorry about everything..." Relena was at a loss for words. She'd emailed them all but hadn't actually seen them since college.

But Maryanne, being her usual cheerful self, broke the silence. "So I'm famished. Anyone feel like calling for pizza?"

Ianthe groaned. "But that means we're going to have to argue about toppings.... AGAIN."

But Relena didn't mind. She'd missed this kind of goofing off.

"Well, I want Hawaiian, so there!"

"But I hate pineapple! Fruit doesn't belong on a pizza unless the crust is cookie! I want supreme!"

Kiki went over to the phone in Relena's room and dialed. "We want three larges," they heard her telling the pizza guys. "One half pineapple, half pepperoni. Another half supreme and half susuage, and the last one half cheese and half no cheese supreme." After Kiki hung up she looked up to find the girls all staring at her. "What?"

"Why didn't we ever think of that when we were living together?" Amada asked looking thoughtful.

"Let's break out some movies and stuff!" Maryanne cheered.

Three hours later, all the girls were exhausted from playing sardines, running around and finding silly things to dress up in, getting movies to watch all night, eating three pizzas, cookie dough, and carmel popcorn.

"Okay, I vote for truth or dare!" Maryanne announced for their next game.

"UG, we're in our mid twenties, not teenagers. How about a movie. I don't have the energy," Ianthe said from under a pile of pillows.

"What time is it?" Kiki asked suddenly.

"Only eleven..."

Relena sat up sharply. "What!" She bounded to the television and grabbed the remote. She fumbled with the buttons until she got the right one and the TV came on.

"What's got her?" Ianthe asked sluggishly.

"She always has to watch the news," Celes explained, sitting on the floor daintily and leaning against the couch.

"Man, I can't believe how immature we can be," Ianthe scolded them all. "Do you guys realize how old we are?"

"Yes, as you just reminded us." Then Maryanne giggled. "But it WAS fun."

Amada was grinning too.

"I should take pictures and give them to Mr. Amada," Kiki said mischievously.

"Oh, he wouldn't be surprised. We..." then she trailed off having realized what she was about to say.

Kiki cocked an eyebrow. "Oh really—you guys do stuff like this do you?"

Amada blushed furiously. "Not really."

"I bet it's strip poker for them," Maryanne pretended to whisper to Ianthe. Amada was blushing so hard she was starting to turn purple.

"And I bet....oh my...." Everyone turned to see what Ianthe was looking so shocked at. Relena was sitting on her knees, jaw hanging open, staring at the television. The girls all turned to see a girl in a floppy hat who looked suspiciously like Relena walking hand in hand with Tai Iwasato. Well, not walking exactly. It was a photograph on the screen. In the next picture the girl was kissing Tai, and it was no innocent little peck.

"....seems that Relena Darlian has finally found herself a boyfriend, but oops. Hope the wife doesn't find out! That's Huy Iwasato, former college basketball star currently...."

"Relena?" Kiki asked, horror written on her face.

Relena blinked and looked over at her friends. "That's not right! I'm not with Huy! You believe me, don't you?" She looked at their shocked faces.

"But what about those pictures?" Amada asked, gently.

"That's not Huy, that's Tai." Relena finally blinked again and stared back at the TV, but they had gone on to something else. "I've got to make this right!"

"Why would they say it was Huy?" Kiki wondered quietly.

"Probably because he was the first name they came across when they search for someone with that appearance. He would have had his name in newspapers and stuff fairly frequently. They wouldn't know he has a twin—he's just a civilian."

"But he's not wearing a ring!"

"You CAN remove a ring you know..." Ianthe explained in a patronizing voice.

They all stared as Relena dialed. "Hello? Hello? Crap! Milliardo's phone isn't working!" she cried desperately. "His phone always works!"

Then suddenly Maryanne started to grin. "You know what this means though, don't you? She and Tai are finally together!"

Kiki looked ill. Relena was not supposed to be calling Milliardo right now. Zechs would kill her.

"Maybe you could call Marcus?" Celes suggested.

Relena felt her stomach drop at the idea, but then again, he was technically supposed to help her with this kind of stuff. But after that little fight....

"Hi! Marcus honey? Did I wake you up?" Celes was talking into the phone that she'd snatched from Relena's hand.

Sitting up, horror stricken, she looked on as Celes spoke to Marcus.

"Relena has a little problem....there's something she's been kind of keeping a secret from everyone..."  
  
LILIL

"What secret?" Marcus asked, a little irritably. What right did she have to ask anything of him after accusing him of being a spy, even though he pretty much was a spy, but that was beside the point! He clicked mute on the TV—Friday night and he was watching TV alone. Man, was he pathetic. But then again, it was kind of nice having a free evening all to himself.

"Relena and Tai have been seeing each other."

Fighting down his initial irrational anger and the inevitable news, Marcus answered. "What's so desperate about that? He an ex-convict or something?"

"No, but the media got wind of it except they thought that Tai was his twin, Huy."

Marcus paused a moment to think. "Isn't Huy married?"

"Yup!" she sounded entirely too cheerful about it. "So, what should she do about it?"

"Doesn't Relena have a voice?"

"Yah, but I think she's trying to dissolve into the carpet right now while Ianthe and Maryanne cackle manically about blackmail. Should I put her on the phone?"

"Sure." Marcus rubbed a temple. Just great....this was just perfect....but then again, maybe it was. This could be so distracting that Relena could forget her suspicions for just a little while...long enough to get the operation well underway.

"Marcus?" Relena asked timidly.

"Okay, we're going to hold a press conference tomorrow. This is way too late at night to set up anything. No one will be watching for it. But until then, don't worry about it. It'll be okay," Marcus told her, attempting to sound concerned and not elated.

"Really?"

Marcus silently marveled that for such a political tiger, she sure was acting like a naive little lamb.

"Really. I promise. I suppose it's too late at night to call Tai and tell him about this."

"Uh...I think he's at the hospital tonight."

"Okay. He's a big boy. Don't worry about him. Just relax and have fun, okay? Be at the Conference room by nine-thirty tomorrow. We'll get this taken care of."

"Right. And....thank you Marcus. I'm sorry about...earlier...."

"Don't worry about it," he told her as he hung up. He had some calls to make if he was going to pull this off so soon, but maybe it he held off a little and kept Relena sweating it would serve his purposes better.

MWMWMWMWM

It was eleven hundred hours local time. They were right on schedule. "Team fifteen, you ready?"

"Almost," Trowa reported back as he pulled himself through the air ducts through the center of the colony. He had fourteen men behind him. He paused and pulled out a map, flashlight in his mouth. Turning left, squirming through six more yards of duct, he should be directly underneath Nanashi's main warehouse.

"I'm here," he whispered into his mouth piece.

"Team thirty-five—you ready?"

"Yessir!" voices whispered clearly from presumably the other side of the compound.

"AV—ready?"

"Locked and loaded!"

"In five, go....five...four...three...two...GO!"

Trowa rammed the huge plate of metal above his head with his back and jumped out, the plate falling backward. He scanned the dark room they were in—custodial supplies. Then he waved behind him and fourteen uniformed men piled out after him. Except they weren't in Preventor's uniforms. They were identical to the gray suits the Nanashi men wore, except for the bright red bandanna on their heads. In sets of two and three, they left the room to mingle and melt into the background.

But Trowa departed from the others, sneaking down a back hallway.

A man went sprinting past Trowa yelling for someone. "They've got T-1! They've got T-1!!" he kept yelling as he ran.

There were some gunshots and everyone was pouring out of rooms. Trowa sidled into a closet, letting them all pass.

After a few minutes, the hallway was deserted. He could hear the shots ringing out in the huge main room. Several rooms down he found the commander's main office.

-MWM-

Jenkins strode across the compound to the warehouse door. Everyone was below. Every able bodied pilot was preparing to launch into space. But they were limited on pilots. Jenkins was surprised at how many Nanashi did have.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing!" a commander yelled, striding across to where Jenkins stood, now in the warehouse.

Jenkins pulled a gun from pocket hand held up his ID simultaneously. "You're under arrest. Surrender now."

The man laughed. "Spy, eh? You honestly think we're just going to turn ourselves in to one man?"

It was Jenkins' turn to laugh. "Do you think I'm so stupid as that?" Thirty men suddenly ran through the door, all in long brown trench coats, their Preventor's uniforms underneath.

"We have help—the other bases will come and then you will be shot out of here," the commander's voice shook slightly.

Jenson laughed again. "I repeat, do you think I'm as stupid as that?"

-WMW-

Trying the locked door of the office, Trowa pulled out his silencer-tipped gun and shot the lock. Pushing the door open he ran to the computer. He had to copy the hard drive before anything else happened. Pulling out his zip files, he opened the computer and set up for making backup copies. A timer popped up. He had ten minutes.

While that ran, he worked his way through the files. Every three minutes or so, the computer beeped for the next disk, having filled up the last.

After putting in the last one, he found an odd file in the back. "Charity" was the title. Pulling it out, Trowa's eyes widened as he flipped through the pages. He stashed it in his jacket and zipped up.

He almost didn't hear the footsteps down the hall. Quickly, he backed up in the most unobtrusive corner.

Seconds later the door burst open and several men Trowa had never seen before stomped in.

"What the..." was all they could say before Trowa was on them. Backhanding them to the floor, and clunking them soundly on the head, they fell. He dragged them over to the desk and handcuffed on man there, the other he handcuffed to the bare pipe in the private bathroom behind the file cabinets.

The computer beeped and his last disk popped out of the computer.

Pocketing it, he ran towards his comrades.

In the main garage, he found fifty Preventors working their way through Nanashi, handcuffing and leading them out to the transporter Trowa knew would be waiting within the chain-linked compound. But there were several huge empty places in the compound where mobile suits had obviously just been. And several men were laying on the floor, bleeding.

"Zechs, I think we've got some escapees," Trowa reported, dead-pan, to his commander.

MWMWMWMWM

Relena shot up from the living room floor when the phone rang. It was four in the morning and all the girls had sprawled out in the living room to sleep, blankets and pillows everywhere. Ianthe groaned at the sudden noise.

"Hello?" she answered groggily.

"Ms Darlian, I hate to disturb you at this hour."

It was one of her public relations people.

"I already saw the news about Iwasato. Marcus is arranging a press conference for tomorrow," she stopped the young man before he could tell her something she already knew.

"No, it's not that. There is a battle going on in the colonies. Some rebels are threatening to blast away Earth."

"_What!_"

"What should we do?"

Relena sat dumbfounded for a moment. Then it clicked. Zechs knew. He'd always known.

"When can I get the department plane ready?"

"Ma'am?"

"I need to get to the Preventor's HQ. When can you get it ready for me?"

"I...I'll make some calls and let you know as soon as I can."

"Thanks you."

"Yes ma'am." And the line went dead.

Relena rubbed her temples and turned to see Kiki staring at her.

"What's happened?"

"Rebels want to blow up the Earth."

Kiki gulped. "You're going to headquaters?"

Relena nodded.

"I'll go with you. But what can you do from there? Why not stay here?" Kiki reasoned.

"I _must_ go because Zechs obviously knew about this. I can't get him on his cell which means he was going through the atmosphere at the time. That's the only time it won't work. The only hope I have of contacting him is directly from HQ. That's where he was before and I'm sure that someone there knows what he's doing." Relena rubbed her temples again. She knew it...she _knew it...._ Then she stopped. "You've been working with Zechs," she whispered, dangerously.

Kiki looked startled but held firm. "Talks never could have stopped this. He had to do something."

"That's why you're here? Isn't it? You're here to keep me distracted?" Relena felt her heart drop out. Kiki hadn't forgiven her. She was here on orders not because she wanted to be. Bitter betrayal soaked into her heart.

"Yes, that is why Zechs sent me here," Kiki said quietly.

Relena felt like weeping. "Marcus knows too, doesn't he?"

"Yes," Kiki whispered.

"Can I trust no one?" Relena asked herself quietly, anger having given way to hurt and sadness. "It's all so futile."

MWMWMWM

Emily was chewing thoughtfully on her pencil easier, then flipped it around, accidentally poking herself in the eye. "Ow!"

Vince glanced up for only a second from his book. "Again? Why don't you leave your pencil on the table where you can't hurt yourself anymore," he suggested.

Emi was goggling at the TV, as he usually did whenever they met in the café to study. Siduri was glaring at her text book. She was muttering under her breath things like, "Stupid Dr. Roosevelt..." and, "moronic scalpel." No one really felt like asking what she was on about. She'd been in a horrible mood all week. First she hadn't done so well in clinicals, then she screamed bloody murder at Tai for something no one really wanted to know about, and finally they were guessing there was some major PMSing going on. Now was not the time to mess with Siduri.

Tai leaned back and cracked his back before turning back to his book. "Do any you guys remember, what are some possible complications of gangrene? I have to come up with three more."

"You mean besides getting a limb chopped off?" Siduri answered testily.

"That's not a side-affect. That's a treatment," Tai told her, keeping his sarcasm to a minimum.

"Hey, you're on TV Tai!" Emi called.

They all stopped and looked up. "....so it seems that Relena Darlian has finally found herself a boyfriend, but oops. Hope the wife doesn't find out! That's Huy Iwasato, former college basketball star currently attending graduate school on colony...."

"Hhm. I guess not," Emi said. He sounded disappointed.

"That's old news. They've been showing that since last night! Same report and everything," Emily chirped cheerfully. "Hey, that Huy guy has the same last name as you, Tai!"

"Yah, no crap. Isn't that your twin that I met the other day?" Siduri asked, glaring at Tai, but not in anger, for once, just confusion.

"Isn't that the park in the suburbs?" Vince asked suddenly. Four pairs of eyes snapped over to stare at Tai, who was sitting, dumbstruck in his seat. Of course, he had more unconscious control than to let his mouth hang open or anything like that so he looked perfectly normal to everyone around him, just a bit petrified.

"I've got to fix this." He jumped up and crammed books into his bag. By now most of the room was openly staring at him.

There was dead silence, and then Siduri screamed out loud what everyone else was thinking, and consequently informing all around what was going on in case they hadn't already figured it out. "YOU'RE SEEING RELENA DARLIAN! AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ANY OF US!!!" She made a move to grab him, but he had run out before she could grab him.

"Take notes in class for me!" he yelled over his shoulder as he vaulted over the fence around the little café and out into the parking lot. His friends all stood staring in shock after him.

"And here I was starting to think the guy was a eunuch or something...." Vince murmured.

Siduri threw her books down and sprinted after Tai.

-MWM-

Tai flung himself into his car and rammed the key into the ignition. This wasn't happening. This _couldn't_ be happening. He figured he'd better call Huy and Kieko first.

Suddenly the passenger door flew open and Siduri sat down. "Where're you going?"

"Get out," Tai said, not looking over at her.

"No. I think I deserve to know what's going on," Siduri demanded.

"Actually you don't. Get out." Tai really didn't feel like messing around.

"I'm coming with you."

Tai glanced at her. Siduri's jaw was set tightly and she was gripping the hand of the door which she had just locked. "I'm not moving," she reiterated.

"Fine." He could probably ditcher her later. Backing out, he headed for home.

"So how long have you known Ms Darlian?" Siduri asked after a couple minutes as Tai squealed around the corner. She had her eyes closed and was obviously trying not to criticize his reckless driving and trying to keeping her lunch down.

"Since I was fifteen."

Siduri started. "Since you were fifteen? So that was her at the shuttle port?"

"Yes."

"But...she got shot and disappeared for a while, she wasn't back yet at that point. I remember because Emi got all excited when he found out that she was back and...in...town...." She gaped openly at Tai. She was quiet a moment, then she spoke up delicately as if trying not to offend Tai for the first time in her life. "She was living with you, wasn't she." It was not a question.

"Yes, but it wasn't like that. In case you've forgotten, my roommate is Preventor. Zechs wanted to hide her and he trusts me, and she needed medical attention, which I could give her."

"The girl was shot!" Siduri exclaimed, obviously distraught that Tai would attempt to treat such a patient.

"I didn't remove the bullets or anything. I just kept the wounds clean, the follow-up stuff and all."

Siduri nodded then. "Makes sense. So you know Zechs too?"

"Yah...." Tai said darkly.

Siduri sat quietly and awkwardly for the rest of the trip, looking at her hands. A few minutes later Tai was parked in front of his basement apartment and sprinting to the door, headless of the stairs.

As soon as he got in, he dialed his brother's home. Because Huy was on a colony, the reception was fuzzy as usual, but it was good enough.

"NO I AM NOT SEEING RELENA DARLIAN!" Huy screamed in greeting.

Siduir had seated herself on the couch and the shocked look had begun to fade. She almost laughed when she heard Huy's voices screaming through the phone. But Tai didn't look too perturbed.

"Huy, it's me, Tai."

"Thank heavens. I thought I'd go crazy if one more reporter called. Kieko's going batty too, not to mention she's not been feeling well, the pregnancy and all. So...WHAT IN GOD'S NAME POSSESSED YOU TO TELL PEOPLE YOU WERE HUY IWASATO! I KNOW YOU GET ANNOYED BY ME PRETENDING TO BE YOU, BUT DON'T YOU THINK THIS IS JUST A TAD EXCESSIVE!!!!"

"I didn't tell anyone that I was Huy. They just assumed I was you, which actually makes absolutely no sense as I live on Earth, where the pictures were taken, and you are on a colony."

"And I really have to get my stupid thesis going too! All I'm doing is answering the phone!"

Tai heard a woman's voice exclaim on the other end, then Huy quickly speaking to that voice, his mouth slightly away from the phone. "I mean, I need to finish it. Of course I've already started on it, darling."

"...DARLING..." was all Tai could make out.

"HUY!" he yelled to get his brother's attention.

"Oi! Sorry, anyway...." Huy answered.

"Well, I just wanted to call and make sure everything's okay with you guys. I better get off and figure out how to fix this thing. We were trying to keep it quiet and all." Tai ran a hand through his hair distractedly.

"Tai, do you know if the Preventors are doing anything in space about now?" Huy suddenly asked, his voice oddly calm.

"No. Why?" This couldn't be good.

"Some psychos are on the TV threatening to blow up the Earth."

"Crap," was all Tai said, then hung up. "Change of plans, just perfect," he muttered as he ran back out to his car, Siduri hot on his heels. He'd completely forgotten about her.

He pulled out and headed toward the Preventor headquarters, praying that Zechs was on top of things.

"What's up now? Going to call a press conference?" Siduri asked, her sarcasim beginning to return.

"No. That doesn't matter now."

Siduri looked startled. "What's happened?"

"Some radicals are threatening to blow up Earth. It's all over the stations in the colonies. Huy told me."

"So what's that got to do with you?"

Tai glanced over at her. "Hopefully nothing. Relena's gonna kill us all..." he muttered.

"Why would Relena kill you? And all who?"

Tai's jaw tightened. "You probably should get back to school. I'll drop you off," he said, changing course.

"No. What's going on?"

Tai looked down at his hands. "Let's just say I'm an honorary Preventor of sorts and that this attacked wasn't completely unexpected, at least to us. Relena was has heard the rumors too but she'll be furious she wasn't in the full loop. Not that she should be surprised with Zechs as her brother and all...." Tai trailed off, then stopped in front of the café where their friends were still seated, talking so animatedly that they didn't see him pull up. "Go back to class."

"No."

"Listen Siduri," Tai said with forced calm. "I can't tell you anything more and I won't tell you anything more. That would be treason on my part. This is way over your head. Go back to class and rest assured that there are several very, very intelligent people working to preserve your safety and peace. Go to class."

"No."

"You asked for it," Tai muttered before grabbing her in a choke hold and dragging her across his lap and out his car door. She fell with a thump on the road as Tai slammed his door shut again. He pulled away and headed back to HQ completely forgetting about her within three seconds.

When he sprinted up the stairs, it took all of two seconds for three guards to run up to him. "What do you want?" one demanded. "You don't work here."

"I need to see Zechs Marquis," he said quickly.

"You think you can just waltz up here and demand to see him and actually get in? Make an appointment like everyone else. That is, if he'll give you the time of day," one of the guards sneered.

Tai felt his patience waning. "What about Chang Wufei? Trowa Barton? Quatre Winner? Duo Maxwell?"

"Look, I haven't heard of any of those guys! Just back off and go home kid."

Tai refrained from kicking something...or someone...and sprinted back to his car.

He arrived at a familiar house—the one with a chain-linked fence around it. After banging on the door for five minutes, a harassed looking Hilde in a bathrobe arrived at the door, the most recent baby in arms. "Tai! What are you doing here?"

"I need to see Duo. Is he here?"

"Yah, come on in," Hilde said cheerfully, stepping aside to let him in. "He's glued to the TV. Something about your brother's on there..."

Tai groaned.

"Tai!" a little boy chirped happily and launched himself at Tai's legs.

In order to walk, Tai pried him off and swung the child up into his arms, kicking random toys out of the way to clear a walkway.

"Duo! I need to talk to you someplace private," he called when he saw his braided friend sitting in the middle of the living room floor, his two other children on either side of him.

Duo's head snapped up at Tai's voice, then he grinned. "Seems like Huy's a little bad boy," he winked, obviously knowing full well that the man on TV was not Huy.

"Please?" Tai said, dropping the little boy gently onto the floor.

Duo shrugged and got up. Walking down the hall, they heard yelling coming from the living room. "No killing each other while I'm gone for two minutes!" Duo called over his shoulder as he shut them in the garage. "What's up?"

"I was just talking to Huy, for obvious reasons. He said some people are on TV threatening to blow up Earth."

"What?" Duo paled.

"Please tell me Zechs is taking care of this. I went to the Preventor headquaters but they wouldn't let me in," Tai reported.

"Don't worry. Zechs was in space yesterday. What I don't get is how they plan on doing that...from all we've seen it's not operational yet...." Duo said, looking thoughtful.

"What's not operational yet?" Tai asked tersely.

Duo looked around nervously, mostly out of habit, as if someone was listening in. "They're building a big mamma of a cannon on Mars. We found out first of this week. That's why we went a little earlier than planned on. But it's worked out perfectly—Relena and most reporters are probably so tied up with this Relena/Huy thing that no one's noticed and the less people find out the better."

"Yah," Tai mused. "Relena's brother using beam weaponry to attack colonies, and no doubt stealing information, spying...the works...."

"Not that you or I know anything about this, we're just civilians, remember?" Duo said, a slight gleam in his eyes. "And technically, beam weaponry is legal, now anyway."

"Yah..."

"Wanna go to headquarters? I've got a spare uniform. I'm supposed to man a desk at fourteen hundred hours."

"Right. I can get notes from class later. I just hope those gaurds don't recognize me. I guess I'll just explain that I'd forgotten my ID badge." Tai was already opening the door where Duo humm and hawed.

"Hmmm...I don't have a spare badge. I'll get you in the back way I guess. Let's go."

"Let's go where, Duo Maxwell?" Hilde asked from the other side of the door.

Duo grimaced. "I need to get to work a little early," he said kissing her on the cheek. "Hopefully this will all be over soon."

Hilde turned white and watched as her husband walked to their room to change for work.

MWMWMWM

A/N Sorry this took so long to come out. School is crazy as usual. I hope you enjoyed this!

Toodles, Tygerlilee


	23. Splash

Chapter Twenty-Three

Splash

"Zechs…Zechs…you there?" Trowa's voice crackled.

Zechs staring at the screen in front of him—the first full view in person he'd had of the cannon. These guys were serious. And this time, there would be no back-lash. This thing would be able to fire consecutively. However, because of the distance from Earth, it would take much more time to travel to the Earth. If they could find a way to block it…

"CW reporting," Wufei's crackled. "We're ready to go."

Zechs snapped out of it and turned to answer Wufei. "Good. Launch in five minutes. We need you out there as soon as possible. Get the beam rifle out and take that thing out."

"Sir…mobile suits coming in at seven o'clock," a technician called out.

"Trowa," Zechs snapped into another com-link. "You find anything useful in those files?"

"I haven't really looked at them yet. However, from a superficial scan I think I've got evidence to convict about five politicians for illegal dealings."

Zechs growled. Normally that would be excellent news but right now they had to fight off mobile suits and take out the cannon.

"You find any extra mobile suits in the hanger?"

"A few, but not many. I think five got away right before we infiltrated the warehouse," Trowa said, not without annoyance.

"Pick enough pilots there to take those and come help. You too. We need to keep the air clear so Wufei can take out that cannon."

"10-4," Trowa said as he blipped out.

"Wufei, get moving. Have the other pilots keep your air clear so you can take that thing out. You've got the best aim and with that beam weapon, you should be able to get it before they get us."

"Right."

Zechs closed his eyes and pleaded with lady luck.

MWMWMWMW

Tai and Duo got into the compound with no trouble. The general population of Preventor's still hadn't been alerted to the situation.

Duo walked purposefully through the halls, and Tai in his borrowed uniform, a few inches too long, skulked quietly behind him.

"Duo?"

He knew that voice. Watching Duo's back, he knew that he recognized it too. Tai tried to decide if it would be better for him to turn and look or not.

"Relena! Hi! Imagine seeing you here!" Duo chirped up, whirling around and putting a friendly arm around her.

Kiki and Marcus, standing on either side of Relena, looked startled.

When Relena saw Tai, she froze. Tai figured he had better do some fast thinking.

"I'm not a Preventor. Duo lent me this to get me inside unnoticed," he explained in a rush. Then he stopped to calm himself and keep his voice calm and unperturbed. It wasn't like him at all to loose his cool.

But Relena's shoulders relaxed. "I didn't think it would make sense for you to have joined them. Besides, I don't know how you could have found the time for it, with school," she said pleasantly, but her eyes had an odd gleam….

"What are you doing here Duo?" she said again.

"Well…you see….I'm helping out with this little project…."

Relena cocked an eyebrow at the young man now a few paces away from her. "It wouldn't happen to have anything to do with a little rebellion we're having right now would it?"

Duo grinned wider. "Can't get anything past you!" he said playfully slapping his knee. "Now, if you'll just let me be on my way…."

"No. Take me with you. I want to be able to speak with my brother."

Duo sighed. "I'm not gonna be able to talk you out of this, am I?" At the cold stare Relena gave him he nodded. "Alright. But you're gonna have ta be a good girl and not touch anything, 'kay?" he said with the falsely questioning air he gave to his children that still distinctly said, "I'm in charge here."

But Relena nodded and they all continued down the hall.

"Just out of curiosity, why are you here Tai?" Marcus asked as they got into an elevator.

"That's none of your concern," Tai answered flatly without looking over. Kiki was watching them with obvious interest.

"None of my concern? I beg to differ. I've been highly involved in this little project for quite some time and I think it is my concern if some _civilian_ could screw something up."

The doors opened and Duo led them down a small hallway that opened into the side of the main construction room and up to the operation rooms. There were some rickety corrugated steel steps and railings that formed a platform between the too where they came in.

"If you didn't know about me, then you obviously weren't that much in the know," Tai said unperturbed.

But it was Relena who answered and made his blood turn cold. "What do you mean?" she said quietly.

Then he looked down. "I'm sorry Relena but Zechs needed help, so I gave it. He had no one else with the experience or the level of understanding and trust that he could delegate this project to," Tai told her.

"Trust with _what?_" Marcus asked harshly.

"I wrote the OS."

MWMWMWM

"They're coming fast sir. They're doing a good job keeping us away from Mars," said his connection from the main ship.

Zechs glanced at a screen to his far left; it mapped out the entire battle area having downloaded information from the big ship. The enemy had been pouring out of four surrounding colonies, attempting to block them from Mars path to Earth. "Well, it's official. That must be some kind of launcher on Mars. Makes sense-it's a steady anchor to put a monstrous gun. That was one of the weaknesses of the one we had in the White Fang. Because it was on a ship, and not on something like a planet, it was unsteady, couldn't be as big as we wanted it. On Mars, there'd be no limit," a commander near Zechs said, unnecessarily. But nobody even looked up, they were too focused on their jobs.

Zechs paused to think a moment. "SATO!" he yelled at his contact.

"Yes sir?"

"Status on the ship?" his eyes were darting over his many displays.

"We have two down, sir."

"_What!"_ Zechs swore spectacularly. How could that be? "Are the pilots alive?"

"I'm not sure sir. But their autopilots have kicked in and are repairing some damage. I think they must have been jarred and knocked unconscious, unless they lost their oxygen supply," Sato told him.

"Wufei," Zechs said over a link, "You almost there? We need this down now!"

"Don't worry. I won't let such weaklings destroy the Earth!" Wufei characteristically yelled over the link.

"Zechs," Trowa said over another link.

Answering in his usual curt voice, Zechs said, "Yes?"

"We've secured two of the colonies."

"Good. Keep on working."

"Well, we've reached a little hitch…"

Zechs groaned inwardly. "What kind of little hitch?" he asked warily.

"They're threatening to destroy the other two colonies."

Considering for a moment, Zechs answered succinctly, "Keep skirting around them. I want to see if I can get a ship back in here. If we can get it going again, then we can send someone over there and into a colony and disarm them. They probably have it linked to some central computer system. If we can figure out which of the colonies that is on, then we can get it and shut if off."

"Well, we have one from either side. They were both just huge warehouses and building compounds. Do you have any pictures of the others?" Trowa asked.

"Let me look into that."

MWMWMWMW

"How's it looking?" Duo asked as he walked into the room.

"Not so good. We're suffering quite a bit. They keep coming and coming. And now they say they'll blow up a couple colonies while they're at it," a young technician said, exasperated. "The Colonel is looking for a way to sneak in and disarm it but they're already having trouble getting though to blast the cannon away."

"Let me look at it," Tai said, elbowing his way to the computer. He scanned it a couple times. "Do you have any of the simulators still hooked up?"

"Yes. We have all five in the back room," the young man said quickly.

"With full video cameras and comm. links?" Tai pressed.

The man looked confused, but answered anyway. "Yes. Exact working duplicates of the shuttles, to practice with the OS on."

"Do you have any telephone cable?"

Understanding dawned. "I'll get some now!" and he sprinted away.

"Are you suggesting what I think you are?" Duo asked from behind him.

Tai didn't look but seated himself at the computer and began setting up a com link.

Duo groaned. "You are insane, man. I keep telling you that and you never get it. Geesh!" he yelled, throwing up his hands. "Why do I even bother?"

"No. I don't think you're going to do anything," and unfamiliar voice said. Everyone who didn't have heavy earphones on turned to see one of the operators holding Relena at gun point. "Get away from the computer, slowly. And keep your hands in the air where I can see them."

Tai flinched at the close proximity of the man to Relena. The man could grab her if he wanted to from his range. But he was watching Tai and Duo carefully. Tai let his hand brush along the desk, grabbing something and carefully held it in the crease of his palm and he raised his hands.

"We knew it. We knew there had to be a leak somewhere," Marcus growled in frustration.

"Naturally," the man said with unpleasant condescension. "Now, keep walking toward the door."

"You know, last time someone held Relena at gunpoint, the attacker ended up with two holes in their body," Tai said calmly.

Duo nodded vigorously, catching on. "I don't like bad guys attackin' pretty ladies after all…" he trailed off suggestively.

But the man snorted. "What can you do from over their, eh? NOTHING!"

"Are you so sure?" Duo queried, moving a step closer to the man.

He looked slightly panicked and made to grab Relena, but Tai was faster. In a millisecond, Tai had rushed on him and flung a pen at the man's gun hand. It pierced the skin between his thumb and forefinger causing him to yell and drop the weapon. Tai grabbed the man and flung him to the floor, catching him in a secure choke hold, arm swept around his neck from the back, elbow aligned with the man's chin.

"I guess we forgot to tell you that Tai here was her attacker the first time," Duo said from behind with relish. Marcus made a choking sound from behind.

The man sputtered and gagged for breath. "Is there anything you would like to tell us" Tai asked.

Struggling to shake his head no, Tai pulled harder. "Are you sure" Duo prodded.

By now Tai's captive was turning blue. "The le-ft…" the man choked out. Tai loosened his hold slightly. "I'm sorry, what was that"

"The…moth..er station is cough on the left."

Duo by now had some electrical ties and came to relieve Tai of his burden, binding him to one of the steel railings.

"Okay, well, let's get moving" Duo said cheerfully.

They both ran to the simulators and began running the telephone wires from the simulators to the main station. A few minutes later Zechs was yelling at them, wondering what was going on.

"Zech, Tai…"

"You mean Heero" Tai told corrected him.

Duo looked confused, but shrugged and answered anyway"I mean, Heero and I are here and we thought we might make a couple make-shift mobile dolls. Can you hook us up" Duo asked.

"We don't have any suits to spare. We've already lost three pilots."

"Au contraire mon frere. Remember? The have self repair systems and you've had mechanics working on them correct? If you can get those working Heero and I can take care of the rest."

Zechs was quiet a minute, thinking. "Give me a few minutes to determine the status of the suits. I'll get back to you."

By now Marcus was looking ready to explode. "He can't pilot anything! He's just a civilian"

Tai didn't even look up as he continued to play around with the simulators.

Duo just laughed and Relena looked like she was going to be ill. Kiki looked as though she was furiously interested but pretending not to be. She had been uncommonly silent, excepting occasional kicks to the ribs of the spy.

A few minutes later Zechs came back on-line. "We've got you set up. You'll both be working on the same ship. Do what you can."

"Great, oh yah, we got a little tip that the colony we want is the left one" Duo told him.

"Thanks. You take care of that cannon. We'll get the colony."

"Make sure you got someone good"

"Trowa good enough"

"Excellent."

Turning back to the simulators, Duo clapped his hands. "Aaaaaalrighty then. Let's get this show on the road" he said as he jumped in. Tai quietly climbed up in his and began to set some things up.

"So who's pilot" Duo asked nonchalantly.

"Me."

"Hell no! I am! I've been piloting a lot more than you have. You're all rusty."

"Then why did you ask" Tai asked, deadpan.

"Well, I thought that I'd be polite and I figured you had brains enough to let me do it."

"To bad. You asked."

"You can't do that"

"Watch me."

"Hey but you've got better aim than me, right" Duo tried to flatter him.

"Hey Zechs, you sure you can't get another ship running. I don't know if I can take piloting with this bozo again" Tai said into the comm.

"Hey! Who you callin' bozo" Duo sputtered.

"They're like little kids" Kiki muttered from the background, a hand pinching her forehead.

It was just then that Tai realized Relena was still there, looking at him. "Good luck Relena," he smiled. Obviously she wouldn't just stand there and watch him and Duo work. She was mostly likely planning on something.

He was listening hard for an operator to finish the wireless hook-up to the plane. Suddenly Relena cried out his name, his old name, and ran over to him. She roughly pushed the headset away from his face and kissed him soundly. Tai temporarily forgot where he was and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer. He hadn't realized that his hands had been shaking slightly before, but holding her stilled them. Somewhere in the back of his mind he vaguely hoped that this steadiness would continue into his piloting.

It was Duo's voice that reminded him what he was doing a minute later. He hadn't even heard the operator come back and report that he'd be connected. Relena was much more absorbing.

"Heero, eh? You're starting to confuse us all!" Duo exclaimed. "Can't you just decide on a friggin' name?"

Still looking at Relena, eyes sparkling a little, he answered, "It is a code name, remember?"

"Right. You ready?" Duo wondered.

"Prepare yourself," Tai said ominously as Relena looked back one last time and fled from the room.

He felt a small jerk as he took command of flying, the battlefield popped up on the screens.

"You got it?" Duo asked.

"Yup."

"Great. Let's get rid of these bastards." Duo let out a blood curdling battle cry they flew straight through a huddle of three mobile suits.

MNMNMNMN

Relena kept her eyes focused on the empty hallway in front of her as she walked as quickly as her injured leg allowed. Marcus and Kiki kept close on her heels.

"Relena, what's going on?" Marcus demanded.

"I've got to make a statement about this. I've got to stop this whole thing before anyone dies…before….before Tai has to kill anyone."

"About that, you feel like enlightening us? Who is he?" Marcus's face was exhibiting the ripple of anger he felt as he flushed red.

Relena smiled sadly as she hit a button in an elevator, different from the one that let them up from the garage. "A very kind boy with a very unfortunate fate."

She sighed as the elevator opened again. "Marcus, I need you to set up a press conference room for me, so I can…make a statement…."

"Only if you tell me who Tai Iwasato really is," he said stubbornly as they got off the elevator. Kiki had remained quiet the entire time, and though she kept her face down it was shining with curiosity and protectiveness.

Relena sighed. He'd asked for it, well, he was going to get it. "What part do you want to know? That he's a brother, son, uncle, best friend, and a lover? That he's a medical student? That he's brilliant and there's nothing he isn't capable of?" Then hot, angry tears began to roll down her cheeks. "That he was kidnapped before he can even remember? That his family searched for him fruitlessly while he was trained to be an assassin? That he was used and manipulated to become a mass murderer at age fifteen? That he killed a plane full of pacifists accidentally? That he survived leukemia and saved his twin's life from terrorists? What else do you want to know? All his names? All his faces? What do you want?"

Kiki and Marcus were staring at her opened mouthed then Marcus shut his in disbelief. "If he was really all that I'd have heard of him!" he said stubbornly.

"Well, guess what, you have! Gundam Pilot Zero One!" She glared at Marcus as her words sunk in. Her fists were shaking at her sides. She hadn't lost it like that in public for a while now. "Now get me that conference," she whispered icily.

Marcus was completely still, his face white. Kiki look thoughtfully at the ground.

"Did you hear me?" Relena asked again in the same deadly whisper.

"Hey, what's that down there?"

"Something's powering up—it's on my infrared."

"I can't get through!"

"There're too many!"

"Heero! What's wrong with you? Hit the darn cockpits!" Duo yelled over the other pilots talking amongst themselves.

"No. I won't kill anyone if I can avoid it."

"And how exactly are they going to live, floating around space with dead suits? They're gonna die anyway!" Duo yelled. "You're being too careful when you aim! It's taking too much time. Just blast them all already!"

Tai had taken the beam cannon and shot a safe distance below the mobile suit's feet in order to preserve the cock pits, then he shot the hands until they were useless.

"Quit playing a saint!"

"I won't kill again," Tai said firmly.

"You're mental. They'll kill us!"

"Will you two quit bickering? We've got to come up with a plan, to break their ranks otherwise they'll finish whatever they've got on Mars," Wufei yelled at them having made his way over. "It's looking awfully hot down there."

"Wufei actually wants to play with someone else? This is new!" Duo snapped.

But before Wufei could respond to Duo, Tai's voice interrupted. "Quit arguing both of you. We'll never get anywhere like this. We're doing exactly what we were doing in the Eve Wars-being too independent. We've got to come up with a unified strategy, as much as I hate to say that."

"Well, I happen to like being independent, because then I can actually hit my targets!" Duo yelled, obviously aiming his remark at Tai, who had just shot the arm off another suit. He, as the driver, couldn't do anything.

"Stuff it, Duo," Wufei responded. "What do you want us to do, Heero?" Duo groaned. Wufei _would_ listen to Tai.

"Um…well…they're obviously blocking us from Mars," he said suddenly very sharply. He had a plan. "Duo and I will barrel through. They'll start flying at you, Wufei, so then you need to fly after us and fill up the hole we've made so that we don't get caught. AL can cover you from behind."

"I changed my mind. Heero, you drive. I want that stupid gun so we can hit the thing!" Duo sounded pouty.

"No, Heero's got the best aim. If anyone can hit that thing from this distance, it'll be him," Wufei reasoned.

"Yah, and he's been doing a great job tonight," Duo grumbled. "He's nearly killed us about ten times!"

"But he's beat every suit without a single casualty," Wufei said quietly, respect evident in his voice. "Okay, let's go. Duo, Heero—NOW!" Wufei yelled, impatient to get going.

Duo turned the shuttle—he'd been going the opposite direction to throw the enemy off. He spiraled through the center of the suits pushing his acceleration to the max. Tai covered them the best he could with the guns. Tai couldn't see anyone in front of him—he didn't take the time to look.

Pulling out his scope, he focused on Mars, scanning the planet. There was nothing. Flipping a button, he switched to infrared. There was a huge bright red area a little to the left of the center of his scope.

"AIIIIIIII!" he heard Duo yelling behind him. If he hadn't been fighting for his life, he would have laughed at his partner. "I think I'm gonna puke! How many g's d'ya think that was?"

"I don't know," Tai said distractedly, not really listening. He was locked on. "Preparing to fire. Brace yourself."

"Hurry with that already! They're coming in!" Duo said panicked.

Tai centered it, then he heard it.

The blast threw the ship to the right and Duo swore. "They took out my side."

"That would have killed you if you'd really been there," Tai whispered. His brain had frozen. If they had been there they would have died. Duo, a father and husband, would have left his family forever.

"Hey, you guys awake? What's going on!" Wufei yelled.

"Man, I don't know—one just came out no where!" Duo was yelling back.

"I know that. I saw it. I couldn't get there in time. Heero's side should still be fine. Why isn't the ship moving?"

"Heero, what's up? You okay?" Duo had come over and shook Heero's shoulder.

But Tai didn't hear him. He was staring straight ahead, his fingers automatically flying.

Duo gasped softly. "Wufei, I think he's gone again…."

"What do you mean "gone again"?"

….._again…again…aGaIn…AgAiN…AGAiiin…_

_A dark, indiscriminate haze…why thank you mister, that was nice of you to bring my boy a drink, you gonna thank him boy?_

_Tank you…_

_You're most welcome. Hehe, that's pretty cute kid you got there._

_Thanks. Rough hand on his head, a large grin. Gee thanks mister…thanks…for…._

_Screaming…more screaming…where…_

_He followed the dark hallway, the light was impossibly far away. Where was it coming from. He had to stop it._

_There was a little boy strapped to a table…the man was close to him. The boy's eyes were bright and alive. He was terrified. He made to grab the man and push him away but fell through to the ground._

_Me!_

_Odin! Oooodin! Why wasn't he saving the boy! Odin was supposed to save him!_

_Wait…of course…_

_A ball of metal took away his soul. Or was it the paper pieces that did that? The ones with old faces, wrinkled and used up. Pruny._

_A mechanical arm pulled him away. For science, why science, why not mankind? Why not peace? Of mind?_

_I mind, oh do I ever mind. Why did that happen…why did I let it happen._

_The dark oppressing form slipping into the dark room. Why is everything so dark._

"Heero, Heero man! Can you hear me! You in there?"

_Why this?_

_A little girl huddled in a corner._

"_What you doing here boy?" she said in a deep voice, scratchy and melancholy. No child has eyes like that. As if the world is enveloped in them but they glace over the present._

"_What's that in you hands?" she asked._

_He looked down to see a nebula, stars, an entire universe. "I borrowed it from a girl in white. Why, do you want one?"_

"_Oh that's alright. I had one but I sold it. Pretty useless if you ask me. Oh, here he comes again." And she lays down on the floor to await her whipping. Maybe that's what he was for, a whipping boy._

_I'll be your whipping boy._

_Was that boy ever…cold…red…black…._

_You want a flower? No it dissolves in my hands—I sold my nebula. I was supposed to be your whipping boy but I whipped you…that wasn't very nice of me was it?_

_I wasn't supposed to let that happen, and it's my fault you have glazed woman's eyes that see nothing. It's my fault your nebulas stars are worthless—I took it and traded it for a kind word that never came, empty empty hope._

_But what is that...white…light…_

_He squinted his eyes, the dark was too dark and the light too light. Smile, love, look up a yellow flower girl knows you._

_It wasn't a light, it was a girl in bright, bright white, above that of noon-day sun. His arms went out as a dark wraith made for her. Never…._

_I'll be your whipping boy, forever, never never never never never ever ever ever never neverneverneverneverneverevereverevernever…._

_A starburst, it's so pretty…golden and white and pure, yet powerful and awful and most jealous….above the noon-day sun, that's what it is…that's what it's for…_

"Surrender yourselves," Zechs voice came over the intercom, shielding his eyes from the bright blast. "Come peacefully and we can minimize casualties."

A/N Sorry this has taken so very, very long. But I think I only have one chapter left and it's almost finished. I've just been so busy—and I just got busier but I will finish it! I promise. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I apologize ahead of time for my atrocious spelling, grammar, etc. I don't have a beta right now and write like I speak sometimes, my accent coming through. Sorry about that. I'll try and get the last one out soon. Thank you for readying! Toodles for now, Tygerlilee ;


	24. At Last

Chapter Twenty-Four

At Last

"Sir, you've got a call from Marcus," Sato told Zechs.

Zechs came over a flipped a button to transfer the call. He picked up the receiver. "What is it?"

"Relena knows sir. She's going to hold a press conference in an hour, I've been trying to stall her." Marcus sounded irritated.

"Great…I've got some information that needs to be shared." Over the phone he called to Sato. "Have Trowa's files been processed yet?"

"They have sir."

"Anything useful?"

Sato grinned. "Yup."

"Transfer then to my sister's account."

"Yes sir." Sato was smiling rather evilly.

Turning back to Marcus, Zechs said, "We have some very useful information for Relena." Then he stopped, "No wait, I've got a better idea."

Tai blinked.

Then he blinked again and watched his dissociated chalk-white hand clutch the gear shift. His head was killing him and he was breathing hard. And he couldn't remember the last hour at all, judging from the comlink clock.

_Zero…_ but he hadn't written a zero….how did it get into his head…_unless!_

Tai pulled off his head set. His hands were trembling again. He wasn't used to this anymore. Now, more than ever, he was convinced that going to medical school had been the correct choice. He was tired of saving lives by destroying others. What was a life anyway? Was one more important than another?

Tai's mind screamed no, they were all equal. But then by that logic, his was worth just as much as others. So what gave his worthless self the right to take any life no matter the cause? Because he had, he was sure of it, even if he couldn't remember. But then again, he saved millions more by killing thousands less.

Duo was whooping behind him. "First battle I've been in and didn't get a scratch!"

"Yah…not a scratch…." Tai whispered.

"But man—you idiot! What happened?"

"I…I don't know…."

Duo came over and looked down at Tai, eyebrows knit together in a worried expression that he usually gave to his scraped up children. "How do you feel?"

"Like crap."

"Well, I don't think you killed anyone," Duo said softly.

Tai's head shot up and he immediately regretted it—it was pounding.

"Hey you guys, Miss Darlian is on TV," a technician called out to them.

"What!" They both went scrambling for the screen.

A little camera flicked on and Relena appeared standing behind a podium.

Zechs sighed in relief. Here she was again, playing her part just as she was meant to. It was a play, all over again, wasn't it? Each playing his or her role just as they should. Heero was back, Relena was speaking. The other five of them fighting as before. Dorothy was missing though.

"….I'm suffering from a severe case of deja vous," Relena began.

Tai grinned from his simulator. This was her part. This was what she was meant to do and she'd do it well. Maybe this would not save the world from war forever but it could at least stall it. Then he stifled a groan and rubbed his pounding temples.

"Ten years ago I was in this same position. Maybe not the same location, but I was in this same situation. At this exact moment the Preventors are fighting to take control of a very dangerous situation. A group of radicals are attempting to do something entirely ludicrous—to destroy Earth, and result in the deaths of billions of people. Again. I am putting forth a call for help, to cease this idiocy. As of late, people have been destroying all the safe-guards so many of us have fought for years to put into place to prevent such a horrific event to take place again.

"This is a call to all Senators, Prime Ministers, house and cabinet members, and to all government officials—please help me. Help me to fight this and to protect the people of the colonies and the earth.

"To all soldiers, please help us to maintain a pure military—uncorrupted and productive. They say that power corrupts. We have seen this time and time again. I beg of you, all of you, do not let yourself be poisoned by its influence. It is possible to gain power without oppression! You can be better than that.

"To all citizens, please remember the price of peace. I'm begging you, forget anger, and hate, and most of all, revenge. These are pointless unproductive feelings. Do not dwell on them and help us to prevent so many unnecessary deaths. There are orphans and widows left behind, bereft fathers and mothers…."

Zechs chuckled softly as Relena continued her tirade.

He turned to watch over the battle field. There were now several Preventor ships which had noticed activity in the area and come to help. Nearly twenty-four hours later, after completely abandoning anything that even remotely resembled his original plan, it was over.

Would it be over for good—Zechs doubted it. As long as people can think for themselves, there would never be one idea of what is right and best for humanity. And as ideas gain strength and followers, the idealists gain power—and ego. Perhaps Zechs thought too much about what others think, over analyzing, like a jealous manic-depressive house-wife—eei! What a comparison.

Yet, this had kept him alive. Unfortunately, all it had taught him was that if it was physically possible, man was capable of doing it. If it could be thought of, dreamt of, it could be done.

He shook his head—he almost sounded like an optimist.

Glancing at his sister on the small screen, he was suddenly struck by how much she resembled their mother. He wondered if she remembered their mother at all.

Climbing out of his ship, he saw AL was already parked. Medics were using various saws to cut Alexi out of the ship. Louis was sitting on a stretcher with a medic hovering over his leg, pulling shrapnel out. Wufei was holding his arm, and Trowa was standing in the corner quietly, arms and legs crossed and eyes glazed over, having come back from directing a group of fighters.

And no, Relena didn't remember their mother at all. And he understood why—perhaps someday everyone would understand why.

Tai sighed and leaned back against a wall, eyes closed. It was over. It was over. Voices next to him were jabbering away—wait, it was just one. Duo.

Several operators were turned in their seats, staring at him when he opened his eyes again.

He decided to ignore them but then one finally spoke up. "I know where I've seen you before! Aren't you Miss Relena's boyfriend?" he queried unabashedly.

Tai started. And reality hit him. What on Earth was he going to do now? Then he laughed a ludicrous, insane laughter without humor—but at least Earth was still here to wonder what he should be doing on it.

It was late before Tai arrived home, exhaustion deep in his bones. He had tried to find Relena, but the press was everywhere. People seemed to have forgotten the supposed scandal that had consumed the screens only a few hours before.

"Hey man. Rough day?" Donny asked sarcastically from his position on the couch. He'd worked all day and had finally been replaced after working sixteen hours straight. He had promptly planted himself on the couch and was showing no signs of moving. He was watching an old American cartoon called "The Fox and the Hound."

Tai sighed as he opened the refrigerator. "Yah, it was pretty rough…."

"Looks like your girlfriend's going to be pretty busy for a while. Man…her own brother…."

Tai smirked at the white surface; his face, distorted to mere swaths of color, blinked back at  
him. "Hn." He could not think of anything else to say.

Tai sidled into his class ten minutes late as usual which Sidra obligingly reminded him of in her usual hiss. Then he promptly answered the question his professor asked him in an attempt to embarrass him for his lateness.

"Ghonoria," he said decisively. STD's—yuck. The best birth control besides getting pregnant: total abstinence.

"Where have you been? Saving the universe?" Vince asked from his other side.

"Nah, just the Earth." He whispered back sarcastically.

Three hours later the bell rang and fifty antsy, sleep deprived students practically sprinted out of the class room for their coffee break and ten hour clincials.

"Man, and I still have clinical today. Does it ever end!" Emily whined.

"Oh sure. In another year and a half. Then you'll be a slave to society working ninety-five hours a week and paying about half what you bring in for mal-practice insurance and being accused of only doing it for the money—and all for the sake of humanity," Sidra said acidly.

Tai smiled. He was remembering the message on his answering machine.

_/Tai? It's me, Relena that is. There's going to be a huge dinner in a couple weeks—you think you can make it/_

"How about you Tai. You looking forward to graduation and becoming a slave to humanity?" Vince asked, grinning at Sidra who was sticking her tongue out at him.

"What, don't you think it's worth it?" Tai asked.

"Where did you disappear to the other day anyway? And what was all that with Darlian?" Vince reminded him.

Tai shrugged. "Don't you think there are more important things to worry about?"

Several Weeks Later-

The music was saccharine and oppressive and made one's stomach weak.

"You've done it again Ms. Darlian!"

"How do you do it!"

She smiled superficially and smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress as an excuse to hide her eyes. Finally she made her way to a far balcony. There were hundreds of politicians here, all arguing as usual. Didn't they ever find it tiresome?

Relena sat in her cushioned chair and looked around, struggling to disguise her frustration with the inanity of some lines of logic.

"Something the matter?" Zechs asked coming up from behind. Relena saw Noin a few paces behind nodding politely to several other guests.

"He said he'd be here. But I don't see him anywhere…." Pouting, she began to draw designs on the tablecloth in front of her.

"I'm sure he's on his way. But I was wondering if you'd do me a favor. Do you remember those files I sent you earlier? Here are the hard copies…" Zechs said, passing a folder over to her.

Kiki stood quietly in a corner, gloved hands folded delicately over her small bag, remembering just exactly why she despised these types of parties. Tons of people she didn't know, chatting shallowly with each other. It made her sick. She felt awkward, and she was bored out of her gourd. Relena was here, but that didn't help too much. She was currently getting up to talk to more guests.

There were little round tables everywhere, cards next to each plate with curly and supposedly elegant writing. She thought it looked rather flowery and silly. An orchestra in one corner set the tone, and a few people danced under a blue light. But these were all politicians and military people. They didn't party too much, unless alcohol was involved, lots and lots of it. And there were too many people…just too many…and…

"Christina?" a man asked.

She jumped to look up at the man standing to her left. And felt her heart stop.

"Father?"

He was smiling down at her. "I thought that was you. How are you doing? I almost didn't recognize you! Such a pretty young woman you've grown into."

Getting over her initial shock, Kiki felt her anger rising. She pulled her self away from his hand, which was resting on her shoulder. "I'm sorry—I mistook you for someone else. I don't know you."

Her father's face firmed up. "Playing _this _game are we? And what do you have to be so angry for?"

Kiki nearly choked. "What do I have to be angry for, you ask? You DARE ask? Well, allow me to remind you! You made Mom's life miserable, you made my life miserable; you walked out on us, leaving us penniless mind you. You run off with some floozy, you completely ignore us, you emailed me ONCE when I got published while getting my masters—you are a worm. I wouldn't claim you as my father if I had a choice between you and a HAMSTER!"

"I brought you into this world you ungrateful snot." His lip was curled into a familiar snarl. "And how did you get here anyway? Sleep with some general? Flash for the boys at the door?"

"I was invited here! I'm on Zech Marquis' team."

"And I bet his little wife is so happy about that…"

Kiki felt her hand rise to slap him, but she grabbed it back. She couldn't strike him here in front of everyone. It was his prerogative if he wanted to be his usual jerky self, albeit in a whisper. But he was her father and a Colonel of the Preventors, the same level as Zechs Marquis. She would not shame herself for him nor shame Zechs. Her sire wasn't worth it. "For your information, I am an engineer and I do excellent work, else Col. Marquis would not have me work with him." Her voice was growing shrill and it was all she could do to keep from screaming a string of expletives at him.

"Juliano," a calm voice said from the other side of her.

"WHAT?" she snapped. She failed to notice her father's look of surprise.

"First Lieutent Chang. Nice to see you again," Colonel Juliano greeted Wufei.

Wufei nodded. "I presume your father?" he asked of Kiki.

She huffed. "I have no father."

The Colonel's eyes flashed. "She does get so worked up over little things. This is my daughter."

"She may be quick to anger, but it's never over nothing," Wufei said pointedly. "If you don't mind, I'd like to steal her away for a moment." Without waiting for a reply, Wufei took Kiki's arm and dragged her away. "Calm down. You look ready to explode," he said out of the side of his mouth.

"That pompous, two-faced…" she muttered, riffling through her small bag.

Wufei snorted. Then stopped when he noticed two damp lines working their way down Kiki's proud face.

"What happened?" he asked, backing her into a corner behind an unobtrusive pillar, blocking her from public eye as she surreptitiously swiped at her eyes with the tissue she'd pulled from her bag.

"Oh…nothing much…made my childhood a living HELL, cheated on my mother, ran off with some bimbo, ignored her, ignored me unless I managed to do something that gained me public recognition. Threatened to disown me if I ever did anything wrong or incorrect…nothing much…." Suddenly she buried her face in her hands to stifle a hiccupped sob. What was wrong with her! She'd never told anyone this except Relena.

He pulled her into the shadows and then put his arms around her. She stiffened with shock until he spoke quietly. "I suppose he's part of the reason you seemed so sure you were worthless and deserved everything evil and ugly in life a few months back."

Then the dam burst and Kiki sobbed into his shoulder, clinging to him. "It's not fair…it's not fair…"

"No one ever said life was fair," Wufei told her.

"Oh, thank you so much. That makes me feel so much better," she retorted sarcastically.

"The challenge now is to show the world who you really are. He cannot hurt you any longer if you are too high for him to reach."

Wufei smiled down at her as she leaned out of his arms and wiped her face and blew her nose quietly.

"Thank God for waterproof mascara…"

"Feel better?"

Kiki nodded and Wufei took her arm to lead her toward Relena, who was currently looking star-struck at Tai who'd just arrived.

"That man should burn for a thousand years in an iron maiden…" he muttered.

Kiki looked up at him in shock but covered it up quickly.

"You made it," Wufei greeted Tai.

"Naturally. I said I'd come, didn't I?" Tai said back, shortly.

"Oh don't you two dare start arguing already," Relena chided.

"I thought they were friends," Kiki said.

"Friends," Wufei scoffed.

"It looks like everyone's sitting down for dinner," Relena interrupted.

Kiki found herself seated at the round table between Wufei and a pretty dark haired woman who seemed to be with Col. Marquis—a pretty dark haired woman with a monstrous rock on her hand. This must be the little wife her father had talked about. Wufei was next to Tai and they immediately began a very slow and deliberate debate about some operating system. Relena was between Tai and Zechs and they were half-whispering about something.

The pretty woman turned to Kiki. "I'm Lucrezia, Zechs' wife. Many people just call me Noin though—my maiden name," she said, holding out a hand.

Kiki had heard about her before. She had worked with Sally and Wufei and Zechs and even Lady Une a lot. But now she mostly taught and trained the new-comers. "I'm Kiki Juliano. I worked on Col. Marquis' project," she said, shaking the woman's hand politely.

"Oh, I see," Noin said knowingly. "I thought for a minute Wufei had actually decided to admit there are admirable women in the world. Then again, I don't see any flying pigs."

Kiki covered her grin and instead returned, "I'm glad I could meet you. I've heard about you. They say you're the best teacher there is."

Noin blushed politely. "Hardly. If I was that good none of my students would ever be killed in battle." She looked very far away but then snapped back into the present.

Dinner was a very nice affair and many people got up to make little speeches about unity and how well everyone was looking. But then Relena stood up and all faces turned to her, silent. She had a way of always saying the most "shocking" things.

There was something about Relena that Kiki had never noticed before. She was absolutely fearless, quite unlike Tai who was looking acutely uncomfortable at the moment. She had a firmness of stride and a certainty of character that seemed to flow from her. The incongruity of the situation struck her as hilarious as she looked from the slouching Tai to the erect Relena.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I just would like to say a few words and then you may go back to your superficial flattery and pompous boasting."

Everyone sat up even straighter in their chairs. Zechs looked smug, Noin looked nervous. "Not again…I don't think she has a gun this time…" she muttered. Kiki made a mental note to ask what _that_ meant, but at a better time.

"It has just come to my attention that certain people have been manipulating the few universal laws which we all uphold. I have reports of Senator Patterson funding research of beam weaponry to a certain 'Nanashi' organization, before fighting to get several bills refuted which would have allowed beam weaponry and mobile suits. Yes, the very weapons which were used in the attempted destruction of the Earth not a month ago. I would also like to point out that Sen. Patterson was not on Earth at the time of that threat, but at his vacation home on L2. Also, Governors Rothart and Kim both provided mobile dolls which they hid from inspectors so as to not be destroyed during the ban of mobile suits nearly ten years ago. Senator Gutiez passed a bill which made legal the use of nuclear warheads in warfare. And a very well-known owner of several resource colonies, Ms. Clingam, provided premises for Nanashi."

By now much whispering had broken out and Relena had to practically yell to be heard over it all.

"If such back-stabbing behavior is to continue, I cannot foresee any peaceful future for us. We must keep this from happening! We must fight this and make certain that this—DOES-NOT-HAPPEN-EVER-AGAIN!"

Zechs turned and nodded at several uniformed men in the corner. Kiki had a very sneaky suspicion that the people just named who were not in the room were being arrested. Someone in the audience was sitting flabbergasted as two uniformed people grabbed him by the arms.

Then Relena walked off the podium, a fierce look of determination on her face as she glared at everyone around her.

"So much for dinner, eh?" Duo whispered, pulling on Noin's sleeve from the table behind them. Noin heaved a breath as if suppressing her rolling eyes.

"Hey, when did you get here?" Kiki asked suddenly.

Tai held onto Relena's arm as she marched through the airport. Yet again this petite woman had managed to turn the government into complete chaos. And then she'd put it back together as she saw fit, AGAIN.

His other hand was nervously clenching and unclenching in his pocket. And there was still that nervous twitch of his—the one that automatically reached for a trigger when no one was present.

He grinned as he glanced behind him to see Kiki and Wufei still arm in arm. The other three pilots had managed to disappear completely unnoticed. It was amazing to Tai that the Gundam Pilot conspiracy was still a conspiracy. And Duo with Hilde—that was dangerous.

It made him nervous—what else could Zechs and Une manage to hide if they could hide this?

The guards let the plane door descend and Tai gave Relena a slight push putting her in front of him. She sat down in a seat and sighed heavily.

"How're your feet doing?" Tai asked her.

"They're killing me, but not as much as my head. Got any Excedrin per chance?"

"Sorry. Fresh out."

Relena sighed and grabbed his hand. "This'll be good enough for me," she whispered, smiling up at him.

"Hm."

Relena made an odd face and Tai tried to suppress a smirk as she looked down at their hands. "What is that?" she asked pointedly.

"Oh this?" Tai asked, looking casually down at the little diamond ring on his pinky. "I found it. You want it?"

"That depends. Does it come with strings attached?"

"Ever the politician. Alas, it does."

Relena grinned. "Hmmm…I don't know. Can I get it in writing?"

"Most likely."

"Is it a lifelong contract?"

"I hope so."

"Okay."

Tai jumped. "Okay?"

"Yes, I said okay!" Relena told him, laughing.

Tai grinned.

"So are you going to keep wearing my ring?" Relena asked, cocking an eyebrow and holding out her left hand.

Still grinning, Tai pulled off the ring and slid it on Relena's left ring finger as her other arm came around his neck to pull him down for a kiss.

Tai mumbled something in her ear between kisses.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"I said I love you," he stuttered. His face was bright red.

Relena grinned up at him. "I love you too."

"Iwasato, might I remind you that you are making out with my sister in public?" Zechs said menacingly, his figure looming above them.

A/N I'm finished! What do you think? Sorry for the bad spacing--this chapter probably seems to randomly jump from subject to subject but that's because this silly program won't let me fix that! I'm going to work on revising that but I just anted to get it out for you as soon as possible. Sorry this last little bit has been taking me soooooooooooooooooooooooooo terribly long. But I'm done now! Aren't you proud? I hope it was all worth it. Thank you so much for all your reviews and help along the way. Thank you for reading!

I don't know if another story will be coming out soon or not. I need time to recover—and I'm currently in Japan for eight weeks so that could be difficult.

But please tell me what you think of this. I really hope this was a satisfactory ending for you.

Toodles for now, Tygerlilee


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